by K A HAMBLY
I never studied human behaviour before neither had I given any thought to their reactions to me, yet judging by this man’s reaction I could sense there was fear surrounding him.
Fear made people do irrational things that I knew very well, as there was still a trace of my ancestors in me. I honestly thought he knew what I was, just for a few seconds. I wasn't sure what I was doing but I felt like I was reading his emotions. It had never happened to me before. As I was about to get away from there, his frown turned to a smile.
‘Sure, I'll go look out the back for you.’
I sighed with relief and walked into the shop.
Relieved he didn't question anything, I stood by the counter top fiddling with the leaflets. My nerves were shot and I was starving. All I hoped for was that this food would be enough to fulfil me until I got to America.
My eyes followed him as he walked into the stock room. I tried to blot out my crazy thoughts and concentrate on getting the hell out of this city. Moments later, he walked back out with a few pound of fresh flesh he had promised. I almost lunged at him over the counter top. I was that desperately hungry.
‘I don't have much to pay you with.’
My voice must have sounded so desperate, the guy took pity on me, but I think it was more to do with the fact that he was afraid of me. He took the meat, wrapped it in brown paper, and handed it to me. I noticed his hand shook with nerves as he did so and yet resisted the temptation to ask what I really was.
Although I had a suspicion, he already knew.
‘Here, take it, I shouldn't, but oh go on...it would've gone for dog scraps anyway.’
I nodded in thanks and tucked the meat under my jacket. As I left the shop, I could sense he was still looking at me from the window. Without realising it, he had saved me from going back to my old habits.
Unless that was his intention in the beginning.
The ship horn blared almost startling me. I took another bite of the meat from the brown wrapper and stood behind the wire fence watching the ships being unloaded. I covered my eyes as the glare from the midday sun beamed down sending a dull ache to the back of my head. Now I had to find a way on one of these things.
I took my sleeve and wiped the blood from my mouth.
Damn, I thought, looking at my jacket.
I was in dire need for new clothes, but right now, that was the least of my worries. Somehow and for whatever reason, I had a feeling I had get to New York right away, even though there was no rational explanation for it. The name just entered my stream of thoughts and besides, after reading the book I had found at the house I just had a feeling it was the right thing to do.
‘Are you supposed to be 'ere doll?’
I froze.
I revelled in the sweetness of her voice for a split second before I turned my head towards her, trying desperately not to make eye contact.
I did not want to alarm her.
‘I, er...was just wondering when the ship was due to leave?’
Fuck, I hope my voice did not sound too threatening.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed she placed her hands on her hips and shook her head at me curiously.
‘You’re not one of those ship spotters are you? Oh well, I’ll check the timetable for you,’ she said, as she walked back into her office.
‘1.15 am, love,’ she shouted out.
I nodded in thanks but just as I was about to walk away, I heard a revving of a motorcycle behind me.
CHAPTER FOUR
The ship wasn't due to leave until the morning, so I had some time to stave off until then. As night-time approached I left the docks to walk back into Helsinki city. Hunger was calling and the only place I knew where I could find some food was from the butcher shop. I wasn't so concerned about the motorcyclist; I guess if he wanted to harm me, he would've done it when he had the chance. Although, it did occur to me, who is much stronger than I am anyway. After all, I was a vampire, so why should I have to fear. It was quite a chilly night too, so I put my hands in my jacket pocket and kept my head down. After walking for twenty minutes I found myself at the harbour. I inhaled the fresh air and relaxed in the gentle sound of the sea, which always brought out the melancholy side in me. Soon my peace was shattered by the cry of a woman's voice.
‘Vampyri!’
‘What?’ I mumbled to myself. Did I hear right? The mere mention of vampyri was enough to stop me in my tracks, but surely it wasn't aimed at me. Was it? This country was seeped in folklore, my folklore. I lifted my head and looked around the harbour. Aside from the fluttering of the sails in the breeze, it was desolate of people, which added an eerie resonance to it tonight.
‘Vampyri?’
I heard her voice again, calling from the direction of the boats. I couldn't see anyone at first but soon appeared a middle aged woman. Her long blonde hair gently swished in the breeze as she stood at the hull of her boat. She pointed a finger towards me and called out again.
‘Vampyri. Yes, you, I know what you are.’
My eyes widened at her revelation.
As I walked towards her brimming with curiosity, her voice became even louder.
‘No, you stay there, don't you dare come any closer. You should leave and never come back here; your kind is not welcome.’
‘How do you know what I am?’
‘It's the gypsy trait in me. Inherited from my grandmother who was savaged to death on the islands many years ago. My grandfather swore it was a demon that had killed her, but the authorities laughed at him, said he was a fool for believing in such things.’
This cannot be happening to me.
I felt panicked by her revelation. ‘I didn't kill her,’ I yelled back. I was certain I didn't.
‘But one of your kind did. Now go, you are not welcome here.’
I was about to walk away when she called me back.
‘Oh one more thing...the one thing you really want, will be yours but there will be a price to pay.’
What could I say? She was scaring me on the quiet. I didn't want to bother her no more so I quickly turned away and walked into the city centre. I was shocked and as if my mind didn't have enough to contend with, I was now left with worrying over what she meant by her words.
I kept my head down, trying not to draw any more attention to myself. As I turned the street corner, I was greeted by the sound of life and laughter that resonated from every bar and club along the main street. Loneliness soon crept back like the plague as I watched the show of human affection around me. I was doing my best to remain calm in such an awkward predicament, but the blood was just lingering in the air, teasing me. I knew I had to find the butchers again and fast if I was not going to feast on these humans tonight. I kept thinking about the meat I had earlier, hoping it would keep my mind off the scantily dressed women lingering by the doorway of the bar. They were looking at me and smiling. I guess they were too drunk to use their common sense. Nervously I pushed my hair back from my face and returned the sentient. Should I have done that? I freaked out. I was still prising myself off human blood and stupidly without thinking I was making gestures towards these women. What in the hell was I doing. As I walked past I could hear the women jeer as their friend, a tall brunette in a tight fitted red dress came stumbling over towards me.
‘Go on, give him a kiss,’ they shouted, encouraging her on in a drunken stupor.
I avoided any eye contact and kept walking, secretly hoping she would go away, but she didn't. I kept walking faster as I knew it could be fatal if she tried, well I presumed it would be, as I've never been kissed before to really know. My hunger was also reaching a danger point, so when I heard the incessant tapping of her heels behind me, I quickened up my pace a bit more. The next thing I knew she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her body. Her soft wet lips, that tasted of berry lipgloss pressed firmly onto mine. I was too weak to fight her off me.
‘What are you doing? Get away from him you stupid bitch,’ I heard a man yell.
I opened my eyes and pushed the woman away from me. The last thing I wanted was any trouble, especially now that I was hungry and could feel myself shifting at any given moment.
‘Hey! You! Stay away from the women, you fucking freak, yeah that's right, a freak!’ he kept yelling at me.
Something snapped within me. I just stood and glared at him like a hunter. He was much stockier and bigger built than myself, but I knew I had the strength of ten compared to him. He pushed my shoulder, trying to get a reaction from me. ‘Don't push me; step away now and no-one will get hurt,’ I glowered
He started pushing me again and laughing at me in a mocking tone. ‘Oh listen to this freak guys, he reckons he can fight me.’
‘Leave me alone, you do not want to piss me off I can assure you!’ I snarled under my breath.
‘Let him go, please. He’s not worth it,’ the woman begged him.
‘So he can go and try it on with some other woman? He's not natural, there's something not quite right about him.’
‘He’s different, now just let him go will you,’ the brunette shouted.
‘You got that right, honey. He’s a freak of nature.’
He kept going on and on and his voice was drowning out my thoughts and interrupting my concentration. I couldn't shake off the urge to bite. A few of his friends came running over. I felt panicky as the overwhelming feeling of fear enclosed me, trapping me like a wretched animal. ‘Attack Jyrki, attack,’ I heard a snide voice inside my head. It wasn't mine. Why am I allowing them to make me feel like this? The conflicting argument continued its battle; it was either the demon or walk away. I was hungry though and my throat yearned for her blood.
‘Arghh!’ I yelled as I felt a thump at the back of my neck. I fell forwards on all fours, reeling with rage and anger. I felt another kick on my side and the sound of insane laughter around me.
I braced myself, and looked up towards the women who were now screaming and backing away. My gaze now fixed on the man with the sarcastic smile and stupid arrogance that he could even win a fight with me. I smirked at him, fully aware my eyes hinted a shade of yellow and my fangs had now perfectly cut through.
‘Didn't your mother ever tell you never to pick a fight with a vampire?’ I laughed as I watched the colour drain from his chubby face.
I leapt from the floor and grabbed him around the neck. He was shaking as I sniffed the blood that emanated from him his flesh.
‘What the fuck are you?’ he croaked.
‘I’m your worst bloody nightmare.’
His friends, hardly believing I had the strength in me backed away. Although, I was sure they saw my face shift by the screams of the women huddled together by bar door.
‘Just let him go mister,’ the woman called out to me. ‘We don’t want any trouble.’
I didn't want to. I pressed the tip of my tooth onto the flesh and slowly made a puncture. The guy whimpered and I could smell the sweat and fear emanating from him. Still, I was perfectly aware I had an audience and so licked the tiny speck of blood that dripped from the wound and with all my strength pushed him away from me.
I stood for a little while watching the terrified human shake and wither in agony on the floor. He held his hand firmly onto the wound and sat staring at me with a horrified look on his face. As his friends helped him up from the floor, they all turned to me with vacant expressions on their faces. They said nothing to me; I could sense they were too scared to do so.
‘What the fuck did I do that for?’ I ran at an alarming speed through the town. I ran until it pained me, allowing my feet to take me anywhere. I ended up standing in the middle of the Senate Square feeling disorientated as I clasped my eyes on the neo-classical buildings that surrounded me.
My concentration was shattered, my strength whittled to nothing. I had almost killed another human tonight and the worst thing was there were witnesses. I could feel a tear running down my face as I walked towards the statue in the centre. I sat myself down and rested my back against the cold structure. It wasn't so much different to me.
Yet I felt assured in the knowledge I could resist the blood if I so badly wanted to. It was a small comfort to wrap my head around on this cold night. I hoped the morning would bring a new beginning to this disastrous end. New York was beckoning me.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘Alright mate, got any spare change have yer?’
I was not in the mood for this. Two weeks spent in a cramped cargo ship and I was as pissed off as anything.
‘Do I look like I have any?’ I spat.
I must have jerked my head around so sharply I saw the homeless guy almost fall off the kerb.
‘Jesus boy, you are one scary piece of shit,’ he shouted as I watched him run down the road to his mate.
‘Do I really look so bad? Must’ve been the glare,’ I chuckled to myself as I turned to walk away.
Worriedly, I stopped and glanced at my reflection in a shop window. No wonder the guy had run off. I could see my somewhat 35-year-old appearance had taken quite a beating, being cooped up for the past fortnight. If that was not all, my fangs were still in place from when I had the last drop of blood back in Helsinki.
‘Damn,’ I cussed, as I cast my eye over my slender statuesque frame.
My leather jacket looked as if it was about to disintegrate off me.
Draven had found the jacket on one of his nights out, he gave it to me, as it did not fit him. He was forever dodging the safe zone without father knowing. It looked like I was in need of a clean-up so I would not not scare away any more New Yorkers.
As I walked into one of the biggest cities in the world, my nerves began to take a toll on me. I began to wonder what in the hell possessed me to come here in the first place. I hoped I would be harder to track in such a vast area, but I felt slightly uneasy.
As if hidden eyes watched me from the shadows.
My eyes looked around in wonderment, at the stone cold gargoyle appearance of the many tall buildings.. As I marvelled at the bustling of crowds that surrounded me, it dawned on me that these people weren't really living in this suppressed place.
The flashing of the neon lights set against the grey backdrop that came at me from all angles, proved to me how uncultured and plastic the 21st century had become. This was very different from the serene, untouched beauty of my homeland, deep within the Finnish forests.
I placed my hands in my jacket pockets, and just stood there gazing up at the skyscrapers for a while, their blank glassy eyes stared back, hiding who knew what secrets.
I was in awe.
Standing on the edge of the sidewalk just off Broadway, I inhaled the smell of blood that infringed on me from all directions. To my ancestors this would have been a playground in their lust for blood, but for me now, I was quite content with my regular top ups at the butchers.
It was a warm day, I was aware I was receiving odd glances from people, as I walked passed them. People sensed there was something different about me, but I was cool with that, I had no desire to drain them.
I walked idly along the sidewalk, looking up now and then at the people passing by. I was aware they were snatching a quick glimpse of me. In fact, I was getting a kick out of their curiosity. Although by now, the sun was making me feel quite tetchy and irritable, and it was not such a good idea to be hanging around a major city like this. That is when I noticed some sunglasses on display outside a shop. I bit my lip and did a quick scan around me. No one was remotely interested, so I sidled up to the stand and snatched a pair of silver aviator glasses from the display.
I felt the theft was justified.
My eyes ached, and I did not want to get cranky with so many humans around.
‘Mom?’
I heard the voice call.
Startled, I turned around and saw a small boy, no older than five standing next to his mother by the hot dog cart.
‘Is that man a vampire?’
‘What man?’ she asked, her voice coloured with a Brooklyn
twang.
‘That man,’ the child pointed towards me.
‘What the hell,’ I panicked.
I looked away quickly to avoid any more unwanted attention. Grabbing a newspaper from the display next to the sunglasses, I began to flick through, trying my hardest to look invisible.
The mother knelt down beside the child and whispered, ‘That's not a nice thing to say,’ while glaring up at me.
‘But Mom, he is.’
‘Just stop it, ok, it's so rude of you,’ she huffed
I peered over the newspaper, and flashed the child a snide grin.
‘Shush,’ I said, as I placed my finger over my lips.
The child's eyes widened, and he stood open mouthed. Tugging on his mother's coat, he began to cry.
‘Y'know, you’ve got to quit reading them comic books,’ the mother said infuriatingly, as she grabbed the child’s arm, and stormed across the road.
It was truly fascinating to watch a child so boldly admit who I was. I folded the newspaper and put it back. Pushed my glasses up to the bridge of nose and walked across the crossing.
‘I'm the walking myth the ordinary people fear, and they don't even know it,’ I remarked to myself, as I watched mother and child mingle in amongst the crowd.
My mood lifted a bit after that.
I spent the rest of the day walking around with a childlike fascination at the world. Yet the loneliness was something I do not think I could ever get used to.
I was walking past a Cinema when a poster on the wall next to the entrance caught my eye.
‘Dracula?’
I ripped the poster from the wall, and stood looking at the slightly exaggerated impression these humans had of vampires. I grinned to myself and shook my head in disbelief. If only he were still alive, I would have had a friend to talk to down through these years. Just as I was about to throw the crumpled poster, I heard the revving of a motorcycle again. I looked around, and saw it flash through the intersection behind me.
‘How odd, that's the same bike I saw in Finland?’
I pushed my glasses back up onto the bridge of my nose again, and carried on walking. Every now and then, I would glance behind me for the bike.
