Never Say Never

by Tina Leonard

  The sound of retching in the connecting bathroom startled Dustin. After a second, he realized Jill was in there, obviously very sick to her stomach. He wasn’t sure she’d eaten breakfast, having been busy with the preparations, so she likely hadn’t eaten something that disagreed with her. Dustin moved to the door, uncertain as to what to do. He’d known City Boy had upset her, but enough to make her that sick?

  I do see Jill being hellaciously beautiful with a big nine-month belly. Marsh’s words came back to hit him with the force of a storm gale. Dustin bowed his head, wondering if they were all going to have the opportunity to find out.

  He felt a little ill himself, just thinking on it.

  Chapter Nine

  Silently, Dustin walked away from the door. Of course, he should make certain she didn’t need any assistance. But knowing Jill, she’d be plenty furious if she knew that her private moment of suffering had been witnessed.

  Dustin went down the stairs, promising himself that if she wasn’t down in five minutes, he was going to make Jill let him in. Or at least, reassure him that she was going to be okay.

  Exactly four minutes forty-five seconds later, according to Dustin’s watch, Jill came down the stairs. She walked into the parlor with a smile on her face and Holly propped up on her shoulder, looking like a Madonna to Dustin’s worried eyes. Jill didn’t look like a woman who’d just been heaving her insides. He shot a critical eye over her body, but all he could see was shiny blonde hair waving gently at her chin, emphasizing her sparkling smile. Her skin perhaps was a trifle paler than normal, but her blue eyes were as large and luminous as ever. But still, after she finished kissing her folks in welcome, she turned, her eyes meeting his and lightning fast, her gaze skittered away.

  What the hell was going on? Dustin wondered. Had he said something to make her want to avoid him?

  His mother got up, taking the baby from Jill’s arms. “Eunice says you’ve done all this decorating yourself, Jill,” Lana said. “Everything looks wonderful.”

  Jill shook her head, sitting down on a chair near Joey. She pointed to his son. “This little fellow here is responsible for the beauty of that tree,” she pointed to the table-top tree whose branches still sported the lopsided effect of silver ornaments bunched on one side and gold on the other, “as well as that tree, which he and his father not only cut down but decorated as well. I can’t take credit for any of it.”

  “Your daughter’s very modest,” Eunice said. “We don’t know what we would have done without her this Christmas season. Jill, are you ready for us to adjourn to the table?”

  “Yeah! Let’s…let’s eat,” Joey shouted.

  “It sounds like we have some hearty appetites here. I’d better get a move on.”

  Jill stood, her smile even, but Dustin wondered if perhaps it seemed a bit forced.

  In five minutes, Jill, Lana, and Eunice—after handing the baby over to Dustin—had all the hot dishes set on the sideboard. “We’re going to be informal today and let everyone serve themselves,” Jill announced. “There’s tea, water, or wine, which I’ll pour, if everyone will tell me what they want.”

  Drink requests were turned in, and Jill went to the kitchen to fill them. Dustin handed the baby off to Marsh, who accepted her as gracefully as if Dustin had handed him a moldy head of lettuce. “You’ve got to work, too, if you’re going to mooch,” Dustin told him before hurrying after Jill.

  Jill was in the kitchen putting ice cubes in glasses, her back to him as he approached. “Jill,” he said softly.

  “Oh, my!” Turning startled eyes on him, she said, “My mind was obviously elsewhere.”

  “I…” Oh, to hell with it. Why beat around the bush? “Jill, are you okay?” he asked.

  “Yes. Don’t I look all right?”

  “You look…” He started to say beautiful, then realized that probably would go over like a lead balloon, no matter how true it was. “You look fine. A little pale, maybe.”

  “Oh.” She shook her head, returning her attention to pouring the drinks. “Maybe I didn’t put on enough blusher. Would you mind carrying these out to the dining room?”

  Dustin took the glasses, casting one last look over his housekeeper. Lack of makeup wasn’t the problem, but she was obviously going to stick to that story. There was no way he could tell her what he’d heard. What little he knew about Jill told him she wasn’t receptive to broadcasting her personal life around. And she would never, for crying out loud, tell him she was pregnant, if that were the case.

  Because plainly she wasn’t going to tell anyone.

  Lunch was an ordeal Dustin got through only by keeping his mind on a million other things. The McCalls were a wonderful family, but it did put him a bit on edge feeling like he was eating with the all-American family. He walked outside to the fence line after inviting Bob to go with him. Bob had declined, instead choosing to dry dishes while his daughter and wife washed. Obviously, there was going to be a family powwow in the kitchen. Dustin could only hope that Jill’s parents weren’t going to try to get her to return with them permanently. Then he’d have to advertise for another housekeeper, and that was getting to be a drag. Especially when he finally had one that fit their family better than he’d ever expected.

  Outside, the sky was gray and lined with white, stringy clouds, confirming the cool, crisp feeling of winter in Dustin’s bones. No matter how warm the house, no matter how cheery the company, he still felt cold. A big-eyed steer moved its heavy girth toward him, less fearful than the other cattle. Dustin stared the steer down, but it came closer anyway.

  Kind of like Jill, always edging closer to that empty space in his soul.

  “Didn’t you get enough to eat?” Marsh asked, coming to rest his arms on the fence beside Dustin. He pointed at the steer. “That’s a big piece of meat, even for a tall guy like you.”

  “I ate enough. I didn’t think you were going to fill up that cavern you call a gut though.”

  Marsh grinned. “Why go hungry when there’s all that good food for a man to eat?”

  “You ought to get married.” Dustin’s voice was sandpaper-rough. “Then you might not have to mooch off my table so much.”

  “Nope. What I need is a cook, which I can’t afford on a sheriff’s salary.”

  Dustin snorted. “Don’t poor-mouth to me. We’ve made plenty of money selling steers the last couple of years. You’ve got no woman to erode your profits, so don’t tell me your bottom line isn’t healthy these days.”

  He felt Marsh’s gaze narrow on him. “Your head more sore than usual today? Got indigestion?”

  “No.” Dustin knew he was being a bear, but he also knew Marsh was tough enough—and friend enough—to take it.

  “No wonder Jill isn’t smiling much, if you’ve been so lovely to be around.”

  Dustin stared at his friend, ignoring the jab. “You noticed? You noticed she doesn’t seem very happy, like she’s not quite herself?”

  “Would you notice if the sun didn’t come up tomorrow?” Marsh sounded surprised.

  “Are you sure you don’t have a thing for my housekeeper?” The thought tore at Dustin again, as it had the other night in the bar.

  “As much as being in-laws to the McCalls might appeal, the answer is no, I most certainly do not have a thing for your housekeeper. I happen to have my eye on China Shea.”

  “China? The red-haired China we went to school with? The one that never acknowledged your presence after you said with legs like hers she’d either be a Las Vegas showgirl or a hooker?”

  Marsh looked embarrassed. “I wish I hadn’t said that.”

  Dustin crooked a brow. “I know you do. She flat-handed you into the next county. You looking for another slap?”

  His friend crossed his arms with a stubborn expression. “I’m just trying to ease your concern about whether my eye is following Jill around. It may be, but not because I’m attracted to her. Now. Get back to Jill and the ex.”

  Dustin threw one last und
ecided glance Marsh’s way before sighing. “There really isn’t anything else to the story. Jill wasn’t too happy to see him, but other than that, it was sort of a non-event.”

  “Hm. The lady lays tracks when she’s done.”

  “Meaning?”

  Marsh picked up a piece of dead winter grass from the ground, absently sticking it in his mouth. “Girl is through with boy, girl packs bag and heads north to start over. Appears to be cut and dried, for girl. We won’t be calling her Second-Thoughts Jilly.”

  “That’s what he called her.”

  “Second-Thoughts Jilly?” Marsh looked amazed.

  “No. Jilly. Boy called her Jilly.”

  “So? Who cares what he does? He’s history.”

  Dustin shook his head. “She does not look like a Jilly to me. That is not a nickname kind of woman.”

  Marsh mulled that over. “You’re right. I mean, you might call her babe or honey if you had her in the sa—”

  “Shut up,” Dustin growled, completely aware of what Marsh was about to say. “You get my drift.”

  “Yes, I do,” Marsh said cheerfully. “Jill is not a Jilly-girl. But I still don’t get what’s eating you. Unless City Boy managed to get some of that mistletoe action going that you were deprived of. And you’re not telling me.”

  “Hell, no. I’m not jealous, so don’t start with that crap. Jill was in the bathroom throwing up, and it’s got me worried.”

  “Oh.” Marsh raised his eyebrows. “The plot thickens.”

  “Hellfire,” Dustin said, rubbing his neck with an impatient hand. “Why did I think you’d be any help?”

  “So she ate a bad egg for breakfast. Why the alarm bells for that?” Marsh said, ignoring Dustin’s comment.

  “I’m not sure she had breakfast.”

  “Well, then…she’s got appendicitis. Or the flu. Hell, I don’t know. Why do you care, anyway?”

  Dustin was too embarrassed to mention what insidious thought had been roving around in his head. “Forget it,” he said roughly.

  Marsh punched him in the arm. “I told you she was too good to be true. Your housekeeper throws up after she sees her ex-fiancé’s ugly mug. Jill’s just too damn normal for you, that’s the problem.”

  Dustin perked up. “You think that could be it? She doesn’t strike me as the nervous type.”

  “Well, it’s possible. I mean, women throw up when they’re sick, nervous, and pregnant.” Marsh paused for several moments, before fixing him with a stern stare. “I don’t suppose you’re moody as all hell because you’re worried your housekeeper might be pregnant?”

  He pursed his lips before biting out a reply. “Maybe.”

  “Ah.” Marsh rolled his neck, before looking up at the sky. “Shades of Nina.”

  “I’m just saying you didn’t have to give Carl my address, Mother. I’m not angry with you. I just didn’t want to see him.”

  Lana looked distressed. Bob looked even more so. “We thought we were doing the right thing, dear. We had no idea he’d show up without phoning. But he seems so heartbroken…”

  Jill shook her head. “Carl is many things, but he is not heartbroken. I know you meant well, but please, don’t do anything like that again. Let’s all make a solemn vow to remember that Jill is a smart woman, a woman with a degree and who once held a nice paying job, not just the baby in the family whom everyone needs to take care of. I canceled my wedding because I realized my fiancé was a poor choice. I call that a smart decision.”

  “Yes, dear.” Lana fluttered her dish towel toward her eyes before remembering that it wasn’t for drying her tears. She snatched up a tissue instead. “We’re sorry we caused you any distress. We just worry so.”

  “You would have worried a lot more if I’d married him, believe me,” Jill muttered. “Carl was only interested in the fact that I was a successful business woman. I made him look good. It would have been much too beneath him to be seen with someone from the secretarial pool.” Of course, it hadn’t been beneath him to sleep with them.

  “Oh, I’m sure that couldn’t be…” At Jill’s quelling look, Lana hesitated. “Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter now. What matters is that you’re happy. Are you, dear?”

  “I think so.” Jill ran more water into the sink, pausing only when she thought she’d heard baby Holly cry out. But Eunice was watching her, so she was in good hands. Eunice would call if she needed Jill.

  “We’re just a little concerned, honey, that you’d choose to do this…this maid’s work when, as you mentioned, you were a successful business woman. You didn’t study all those years to wind up being a housekeeper.”

  Jill sighed. “Look. I love both of you. I know you’re thinking of my wellbeing. But I really needed a break. I know it sounds crazy, but I wanted a change of pace. These people need me, which is flattering. Does that make sense?”

  Her parents exchanged glances.

  “This is a nice place,” Bob began.

  “But, of course, we really don’t know these people,” Lana finished his thought. “I mean, they seem nice enough, especially Eunice, but one never knows. Your father and I are so worried that you just picked up and left, then went to live with strangers. Frankly, we’re a little hurt you didn’t come home.”

  Jill sighed. “Would your feelings be hurt a little less if I told you I don’t want to be the baby anymore? That I need to do things on my own, without everyone in the family doing for me?”

  Her father cleared his throat as her parents shared an uncertain look. “Dear, we haven’t wanted to mention this,” Lana said softly, edging closer to Jill, “but we’re a little worried about you living out here with that…um, Dustin.”

  “Why?” Jill shot her mother a questioning glance.

  “Well, he, ah…he’s not what we’re used to, maybe. I mean, here’s our soft-hearted little daughter, going out to the boonies to live with this man. You have to admit he’s awfully overwhelming. So tall, and dark, and well, he doesn’t smile much, does he?”

  Jill frowned. No, Dustin didn’t smile much. But it was the first Christmas since his wife had died, and that alone gave him a reason not to feel like ringing in the holiday season. She thought he’d made a giant effort on everyone’s behalf—especially hers—to ignore his own pain. He had a new baby living in his home that cried sometimes and which he knew absolutely nothing about, except that she might be in danger. Nothing to smile about there. And though he hadn’t said it to her, his whole demeanor turned much gruffer when Joey’s other grandparents were mentioned. Especially when it was time for Joey to visit them, as it was tonight. Sunday evenings, Dustin had explained, as well as Wednesday evenings, were the Copelands’ time with Joey. No, she supposed the man didn’t smile a lot.

  “Dustin is a quiet man,” Jill said. “He works his cattle so much of the time that I only see him at meals. Eunice and Joey, and baby Holly while she’s here, are really the biggest part of my job.”

  “Oh, we’re so relieved,” Lana said, speaking for Bob as well. Her father bobbed his head in agreement. “We were so worried you might rebound too quickly. Dustin’s quite the opposite of Carl in appearance, and…well, you know…personality.”

  Oh, yeah. That hadn’t been too much of a leap for even her sweet-minded mother. Jill had gotten a chance to observe the difference between the two men just this morning, more than she’d ever wanted. Carl had seemed skinny and rather pasty next to Dustin’s outdoors, healthy-all-over physique. Just thinking about it shot a lightning strike of desire through her. But being turned on by a man wasn’t a reason to fall for him.

  “I’m not on the rebound, Mother. The last thing I want is to give my heart to another man, only to find I’d made a mistake.”

  “Oh, you are being so sensible, Jill. We were alarmed that you might fall for that dark air of mystery Dustin has.”

  “Oh, please! There’s nothing mysterious about the man, except that he works hard and is trying to get over his wife’s death. I’m not going to fall
for him any more than he’d fall for me.”

  “You see why we’d worry, though. He might be looking for a new mother for his son…”

  “Mother, please!”

  “Well, subconsciously anyway, Jill. I mean, one has to wonder, and it’s so odd that they’re keeping a baby they know nothing about. And here you are, knocking yourself out to be a nursemaid, but that might be appealing to a man who…”

  “Mother, he hired me to take care of this family, which pretty much means he wouldn’t have to marry me to get what he wanted, which was help. Don’t you think?”

  “A wife would be much cheaper,” Bob inserted. “No payroll.”

  “Daddy!” Jill was astonished.

  “Your father has a point,” Lana said primly. “Though he’s more generous to me than he sounds, the truth is, his concern is valid. We want you to think about things before you leap from the fire into the frying pan.”

  “There is nothing to think about,” Jill said tightly. “I’m staying here for a year, as I agreed to do. Then, I’m getting my bonus, and I’m leaving.”

  “How’s everything coming along in here?” Eunice asked, walking slowly into the kitchen with baby Holly in her arms.

  “Here. Let me take her,” Jill said, going to take the infant. She shot an assessing glance Eunice’s way, wondering if she had overheard any of the conversation brewing in the kitchen.

  Eunice’s face was unconcerned as she picked up an empty cup to put away. “Lana, your strawberry bread was wonderful.”

  Lana’s face relaxed into a genuine smile. It was obvious that her parents’ problem wasn’t with Eunice, but with the grim-eyed rancher who’d sat and stared at Jill for most of the meal. She walked into the parlor to gaze out the window at the two men leaning against the fence rail. She’d been able to feel Dustin’s stare on her on several occasions, and could only wonder about it. Not once had he smiled at her, though he wasn’t prone to doing that, anyway. Still, he’d seemed very remote, a fact her parents had obviously picked up on.