Sometimes it seemed slightly awkward to explain to a parent that she was merely a friend of the family, but beyond that Terese had no complaints. Not when the nearness of Hunter and the attention he was paying her sent secret thrills coursing through her, reminding her of what had begun in his kitchen the night before.
And she wondered all over again if she should have seized the moment when she had the chance. She wondered if they had been a moment, a chance, she might never have again.
After the Halloween party, Terese, Hunter and Johnny went to Willy and Carla’s house, a small, single-story white clapboard that looked as if it had been built soon after the Second World War, when housing was needed for returning soldiers and their brides.
The inside, decorated with numerous handmade crafts and country pine furniture upholstered in blue and brown plaid, was so welcoming that Terese felt right at home the minute she went in the front door.
Dinner was simple. Terese’s artichoke casserole went with roast beef, potatoes and gravy, salad and rolls. Terese was the only one at the table wearing a tiara, but Johnny was happy again and that was all that counted.
After the meal Hunter and Terese took the boy door to door. The weather had cooperated and although the temperature was chilly, there was no wind and the rapid walking to follow Johnny, who ran the entire time, kept them warm.
The little boy would have gone on forever, so Hunter had to be firm to get him back to Willy and Carla’s house where the pillowcase Johnny had used to collect his goodies was dumped out onto the kitchen table to be inspected before Johnny could have any of it.
But while the adults were sorting through Johnny’s loot, Johnny disappeared.
“Where’d he go?” Hunter asked when he noticed his son was no longer there. “I thought he couldn’t wait to eat some of this.”
“He went to the bathroom, but that was a little while ago,” Carla said, getting up from the kitchen table to search.
A moment later she called for them in a hushed voice, and when Terese, Hunter and Willy followed the sound, they found Johnny in the guest bedroom, curled up on the bed, costume and all, sound asleep.
“Looks like he finally had enough Halloween,” Terese whispered.
“We’d better get him home,” Hunter said.
“Nah,” Willy contributed. “Why don’t you let him sleep? We have a change of clothes for him from the last time he stayed overnight and I’ll bring him with me when I pick you up for the airport. You can say goodbye to him then.”
Hunter glanced back at his sleeping son and seemed to consider the suggestion before he said, “You don’t care if you have an impromptu overnight guest?”
“You know we don’t,” Carla confirmed. “Let him sleep.”
Hunter shrugged. “Okay, if you’re sure.”
That seemed to put an end to the evening, though, and after Johnny’s candy was replaced in the pillowcase, good-nights were said all around and Terese and Hunter left. Alone.
But Terese didn’t want to think about that.
Or about how things changed without Johnny.
As if talking about him would still add some chaperoning benefits, once they were headed home she said, “Poor Johnny. After all day of waiting for his candy, he zonked out before he even got one caramel.”
Hunter chuckled. “Don’t worry, he’ll make up for it. You’ll have to hide it and dole it out a piece or two a day while I’m gone or he’ll eat a ton at a time and be bouncing off the walls.”
While he was gone…
For some reason it only sank into Terese’s mind right then that in just a few hours Hunter was leaving. She wouldn’t see him for a full two weeks.
The realization deflated her spirits considerably, even if she would still be with Johnny.
“I won’t tell if you want to ditch the crown now,” Hunter said then, once again pulling her out of her thoughts. Thoughts that weren’t nearly as pleasant as the ones she’d been having earlier in the day about how terrific he looked.
She reached up and removed the crown that she’d been wearing for so long she’d forgotten about it, smoothing her hair in place and hooking it behind her ears. Johnny had also decreed that she wear her hair loose and flowing the way the princess in the book sometimes had, but she didn’t like it falling in her face.
“So, did you have a good Halloween?” Hunter asked then, as if it were a bigger holiday than it was.
“The bestest ever,” Terese answered, playing along and trying to stave off the odd sinking feeling brought on by the reminder that he was leaving.
Clearly Terese’s somber mood wasn’t something Hunter was aware of; his train of thought remained on Halloween. “How do you usually spend it?”
Terese laughed. “Like any other day. College students keep it out of the classroom, and at home…Well, trick-or-treaters don’t come through the gates and hike up the mile-and-a-half drive to the house to ring the bell.”
“No big society Halloween parties at the country club or anything?”
“Not as a rule. I know people who have them for their kids, but I don’t get invited to those.”
Hunter took his eyes off the road to glance at her. “You know, there’s something you said a couple of days ago that I keep wondering about.”
“And it has to do with Halloween and kids’ parties?”
“No, with kids in general, though. And today, watching how much fun you were having with Johnny, I’ve really been wondering about it.”
“What is it?” she asked.
“When you made your appointment to be tested for the hemophilia gene, you said you didn’t think it would matter because you probably won’t ever get married or have a family.”
“Ah…”
“I keep wondering why you would think a thing like that.”
Terese shrugged. “Past experience,” she said simply.
“What kind of past experience could lead you to think you’ll never marry and have kids?”
Terese weighed whether to get into this subject with him. It wasn’t something she’d ever told anyone outside her immediate family. It had just been too humiliating, too degrading, to talk about.
But somehow the thought of telling Hunter didn’t seem so insurmountably embarrassing.
She looked over at him, at his impeccable profile, and warned, “This is my deepest, darkest secret.”
“It is?” he said, tossing her a confused frown.
“It is.”
“I’m pretty good with secrets,” he assured. But he didn’t push it, leaving her free to either confide in him or refuse to.
Except that the more Terese considered confiding in him, the more comfortable she felt with it. Especially sitting in the dark cab of his truck, not having to look him in the eye when she did.
“I was engaged once,” she said, taking the leap. “To a history professor. It was five years ago. We met at a faculty meeting. His name was Dean Wittiker. He got teased a lot about what he’d be called if he became the dean of the college—he’d be Dean Dean Wittiker.” She’d tried to lighten the tone by repeating the joke but somehow it fell flat.
“And you and Dean Dean Wittiker hit it off?”
“We did. Or at least I thought we did. I was a little leery when he asked me out because he was an extremely good-looking guy. Half the coeds had crushes on him and a few actually followed him around campus like little sheep. It didn’t seem logical that someone who could have the most beautiful women in the world would be interested in me.”
Hunter sighed exaggeratedly. “No Terese-bashing,” he ordered.
She laughed a little. “Just reporting the facts,” she countered.
“So you went out with him,” Hunter said, reminding her where she’d left off so she would go on.
“I turned him down a few times but he was persistent and I finally said yes. We went to dinner and it was nice. There were no lulls in the conversation, we liked the same foods, the same movies, the same books, the same televis
ion programs… We seemed to have a whole lot in common.”
“You seemed to have a whole lot in common? What does that mean?”
“It means that after it was over I was left not quite sure what had been real and what had just been part of the ploy to reel me in.”
“Like a fish?”
“Like the big fish,” Terese said quietly because that particular phrase touched on one of the sorest spots.
“Anyway,” she continued. “We dated for about six months and seemed to be getting closer and closer, and, well, I fell in love with him. He said he loved me, too, and for a while I honestly thought I’d met my soulmate.” She couldn’t help the cynicism that echoed in that word. “Then he proposed and I accepted, thinking that right there, kneeling in front of me, were all my dreams come true.”
“Instead it was a nightmare?” Hunter guessed when she paused, lost in memories she wished she didn’t have.
“Maybe just a bad dream,” Terese amended, not wanting to be overly dramatic.
“What happened?”
“We got as far as the engagement party. It was a big, splashy thing that my stepmother and Eve threw us—they said someone like me getting someone like Dean to propose was an occasion bigger than man landing on the moon.”
“No Terese-bashing,” Hunter repeated.
“Again, just reporting the facts. The party was a huge event. Not the kind of thing I would ordinarily have wanted, but I was in such a state of…bliss, I guess you’d have to say, that I went along with anything. The whole world and everything in it just looked rosy to me.”
Terese stalled, recalling that feeling, hating the crash that had come so soon after it.
“And then?” Hunter said to encourage her.
“The party had been going on for hours and I realized that I hadn’t seen Dean for a while so I went looking for him.”
“Don’t tell me you found him with someone else?”
“Actually,” Terese admitted somewhat shamefacedly, “I found him with someone else, but not in a compromising position, if that’s what you’re thinking. Our butler, Pixley, told me he’d seen Dean go into the library, and so I went up there looking for him. But the door was open a little and rather than going in, I stood outside and eavesdropped.”
“On Dean-Dean.”
“On Dean talking to his brother. Kind of arguing with his brother, actually.”
“About you?”
“About Dean marrying me.”
“His brother didn’t approve?”
“His brother knew him,” Terese said, unable to keep the sadness out of her voice. “His brother knew that Dean was involved with someone else. While I listened, Dean admitted that he was. He told his brother that there were no plans to end his relationship with the woman—whoever she was, I never knew. But he was marrying me because he was terribly in debt from school loans and apparently so was the woman he was in love with. So they’d decided it was better for him to ‘hook himself a big fish.’ The plan was for him to cash in as much as he could, and then get out of the marriage and have the pretty girl he really loved.”
From the corner of her eye Terese saw Hunter shaking his head. “I’m sorry I asked,” he said, his voice low and colored with what sounded like anger. “I hope you broke into that room and called off the engagement on the spot and then had somebody throw the guy out on his…ear.”
“With a house full of guests and writers for the society pages? No, I didn’t. I had to try to keep a good face on it until the end of the party—definitely not the easiest thing I’ve ever done. And then I told him what I’d heard.”
“Did he deny it?”
“Initially. But he knew he’d been caught so it wasn’t long before he accepted that I wasn’t going through with marrying someone who was more attracted to my financial assets than to me.”
“And then did you have somebody throw him out on his ear?” Hunter asked as if he would have found some satisfaction in hearing that.
It made Terese smile and somehow feel better about having trusted him with this. “No, he walked out under his own steam. And then I had to tell my family…”
“Why do I get the impression that was every bit as tough on you?”
“Eve and my stepmother thought I should have gone through with the wedding, anyway. My stepmother wasn’t surprised that money had been my greatest appeal to Dean; she said it was the only reason any man would want to marry me. Eve agreed and advised that I just accept that I was going to have to buy myself a husband if I ever expected to have one.”
They’d reached the ranch then and as Hunter pulled the truck to a stop near the barn behind the cabin he didn’t say anything. But when Terese glanced over at him she saw that his jaw was clenched tight.
Only after the engine was off did he turn to her. “The Dean guy was a money-grubbing jerk and somebody should have knocked his block off. But I don’t think I like your stepmother or your sister too much better.”
“They aren’t what you’d call supportive,” she agreed with a mirthless chuckle.
“And that’s why you aren’t keen on the idea of marriage—you’re afraid anyone who would marry you would be marrying you for your money. Or at least that you couldn’t be sure one way or another,” he summarized.
“I honestly never had even a thought before the engagement party that that might be a factor with Dean,” Terese admitted quietly. “I guess I was just naive. But now… Now I’ve had my eyes opened and I know it’s too big an issue not to have an influence.”
Hunter shook his head, but Terese wasn’t sure if it was in denial of that opinion or out of sympathy for her.
“I’m so sorry, Terese.”
That made her smile slightly again. “You didn’t do any of it.”
“I know. I’m sorry anyone did. That anyone would do anything like that to you. And that your own family… You deserve so much better,” he said, reaching a hand to cup the side of her face.
It was strange, but merely the touch of his hand seemed to ease most of the bad feelings brought on by talking about Dean. It made everything that had happened with Dean seem less important. As she looked into Hunter’s handsome face she had the fleeting thought that Dean had only been a shallow reflection of a man, but that here was Hunter and he was the real thing…
Something about that sent a shiver through her. Hunter saw it, or felt it, and interpreted it to mean that she was cold now that the car was turned off and so was the heat.
He took his hand away and said, “Let’s get you inside where it’s warm.” Then he got out of the truck and rounded the rear to her side to open her door.
Neither of them said anything as she got out and they headed for the cabin. The silence and the cool, clean air helped clear Terese’s head of thoughts of her past, and by the time they reached her doorstep, Hunter was all she was thinking about. And the fact that even though they’d been together most of the afternoon and evening, it didn’t seem as if she’d seen enough of him. Certainly not enough to send him off for two weeks.
Maybe his trip was on his mind then, too, because as she unlocked the cabin door he said, “Do you think we covered everything you need to know while I’m gone?”
“Let’s see. You walked me through it all three times today. You left me lists and instructions and telephone numbers. Willy and Carla will be here every day to help and in case anything comes up that I’m not sure about…yes, I think I’m covered, don’t you?”
“I s’pose I do,” he said, settling a shoulder against the doorjamb as he always did when they were about to say good-night.
Terese was in her position, too, just inside and facing him. And not wanting to say good-night at all.
But Hunter didn’t seem any more eager than she was because that wasn’t what he did. Instead he repeated something else she already knew. “I’m leavin’ here a little after 5:00 a.m.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“There’s no sense in you getting up that early so I guess I w
on’t see you again before I go.”
“I could get up.” And then she could see him again and this, right now, wouldn’t have to be goodbye for a whole two weeks.
“I think that would just make it tougher for me to go,” Hunter said in a low voice.
“It would?” Terese asked before she’d thought about it, surprised that she might have that effect on him.
Those topaz eyes of his penetrated hers. “I’ve never wanted to go and leave Johnny, but all of a sudden—today especially—I keep thinkin’ that I don’t want to go and leave you, either.”
“Because you don’t trust me with Johnny?” she asked, wary of believing Hunter was saying what she thought he might be saying.
“No, I trust you with Johnny. It just struck me that he’s not the only one I’m going to miss.”
A second shiver took her and again he saw it. Or sensed it.
“You’re really chilled tonight,” he said, pushing away from the jamb and stepping inside to reach both hands to her arms. He rubbed them up and down to generate heat as she tried to think of what to say to him.
“You do have to go, though,” she reminded him with an echo of regret in her own voice.
“Yeah, I do. But this last week…” He inclined his head and shrugged one of those substantial shoulders. “I don’t know. It just feels like I’m leavin’more behind than I was before.”
Terese didn’t know how to answer that, either, and could only look up into his sculpted face and bask in the warmth of his gaze.
As she did, time seemed to stand still. The rest of the world receded and all that remained was Hunter. And her. And being there with him like that—alone, close enough together that she could smell the scent of his aftershave and see the shadow of his beard and the lines that sunshine and laughter had begun to etch at the corners of his eyes.
And in that moment when nothing existed but the two of them, there were some things she couldn’t help thinking about. Things like the fact that he was leaving in a matter of hours, and how much she wanted those hours to be special, memorable. Things like that thought she’d had earlier about how she might have passed up her only chance the night before. Things like how much more she’d regretted that as today had gone by…
For Love and Family Page 14
