by Alexa Davis
“I need help fighting off the big, red dragon who is hiding in Nurse Peters’ office,” I told him in an excitable tone of voice. “But there is a catch. Whoever is going to help me defeat him needs to have a tiny dot made on their arm. It stings a little, but it’ll protect the soldier from the fiery breath.”
“I’ll do it,” he gasped. “I want to fight a dragon!”
With that, I grinned, took his hand, and led him into the patient room. While we waited, I told him about all the awful deeds that the dragon had done, while the shot was administered, I held his hand and told him to be brave so that he could fight off the dragon’s breath, and once it was done, we played around for a while, acting out killing the monster.
Once he was worn out, and sitting with his reward, his mother grabbed my hand gratefully. “That was amazing,” she said, and happiness laced her tone as she spoke. “I’ve never seen him so calm. Normally, he cries before, during, and for hours afterwards. I can’t believe how well that went. This clinic really is amazing; you really do go the extra mile.”
That comment warmed me up, and helped me to forget about all the drama with Matthew for a just a little bit. It was nice to help and to be appreciated for that – it made all the difference in the world.
*****
I spent the rest of the day with my own patients, and thankfully because of what happened with Jago, I felt like I could throw myself into it a lot more. I became more confident in my abilities, able to focus on what needed to be done, so by the time the office closing hours came around, I felt an odd sense of satisfaction.
However, as everyone else started to pack away their belongings, wanting to go home, all my good feelings simply ebbed away. Much as my day had been productive, I still hadn’t managed to come up with any way to help Matthew. I wanted to do something for him, even if he wasn't currently taking to me, and it was endlessly frustrating that I hadn’t managed to come up with anything.
“Are you coming?” Mary asked me. “Or did you want to lock up?”
“I still have some paperwork to do. I’ll lock up in a little while.” I just wasn't quite ready to go home yet; I still felt like I needed to come up with the perfect solution. Plus, I really did have a lot to do, so I could always get around to that at some point.
Once the office was empty, I found myself wandering from room to room, trying to find that motivation once more. I was sure that I’d be all right once I got started; I just needed to get into the right frame of mind. Simply because I missed him so damn much, I even found myself wandering into Matthew’s office, just to get a feel for him, and that was where the solution came to me.
His office was a real mess – not dirty or anything, he just had stuff everywhere, which I could tidy up and organize for him. Sure, it wasn't much, it would only be a tiny gesture that wouldn’t go too far, but at least then I would feel like I’d done something. I just needed to be productive, even for a second, and this was a great way to do that.
I started off by tossing out his food wrappings and endless notes that clearly didn’t mean anything before moving on to his filing system. Paperwork was an undesirable part of the medical profession, one that was essential, but most of us were too busy to waste too much time putting it away properly. I painstakingly sorted it all out into the relevant files, even color-coding it to make his life that much easier when he returned.
If he was going through a hard time, the last thing he needed was to come back to a mess. Hopefully, this would go some way towards lightening his load.
I got to the point where I couldn't cope any longer without a stapler, and I already knew that my own was clean out of staples, so I tugged open his top drawer, hoping that he would have one there. What I found instead stopped my heart dead in my chest.
It was the picture, the one of us from the high school yearbook. I was on his back, he was carrying me down the hall, and we were both laughing at something ridiculous. It was that pure, carefree moment that defined the way we’d once been before the shit hit the fan.
Matthew stored that picture in his top desk drawer in a frame. This was something he cared about. I stroked the image for a second as another revelation swirled right through me. We were important to one another, me and Matthew – we always had been.
The last time things got difficult, we gave up on one another and went on to live or separate lives. This time, we were being faced with a situation that left us in a similar place, only this time, I wasn't going to give up. I wasn't going to stand back and let Matthew slip away. I was going to go to him, to fight for him, no matter what it took.
I glanced out of the window, noticing the pouring rain, but I wasn't going to let that stop me. I was going to go to him, and make everything right again, whatever it took.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Matthew
Tuesday
I felt a lot better after the fishing trip; it helped me to put things in perspective, so the first thing I did when I got back was to get onto the computer and to delete all those damn emails. I didn’t need any of that negativity in my life, not when I was so focused on moving forward.
Willy was right: this would blow over soon enough. I just needed to wait out the storm and not get swept away with the tide. When I thought about it like that, it was simple. I just needed an outside perspective to help me see that.
I spent the rest of the day getting my apartment all organized and working out how I wanted to spend the rest of my finances, clearing a whole bunch of room in my head. I felt so much better at the end of it, and I knew for a fact that tomorrow would be a much better day. I would be able to tackle anything now: I was sure of it.
Knock, knock.
At first the sound came so lightly that I assumed it was the wind. I paid it no attention, simply glancing out the window at the shitty weather.
Knock, knock.
Who the hell was at my home at this hour in this horrendous weather? It had to be Willy; I couldn't imagine anyone else coming to see me right then.
I swung the door open, expecting to rib the guy outside, but the person I found was a soaking wet, shivering, yet somehow stunning: Ashlee. Her dark hair was sticking to her face, her clothes were molded against her skin, her makeup was running down her cheeks, and she was still able to stop my heart. I simply stood there for a while, staring at her, wondering how it was possible for every other damn person on the planet to look like a bedraggled rat, yet Ashlee looked incredible.
Then I noticed her chattering teeth, and I snapped back into action.
“Ashlee, are you okay? What are you doing here?” Then, finally, I stepped to one side. “Come in.”
I walked her into the front room before handing her a towel. She still hadn’t said anything yet, and my mind was desperately running with curiosity. It seemed like something important had happened to drag her over here like that.
She quickly rubbed her hair dry a little, before handing me the item in her hand, which was something that I hadn’t realized she was holding before now. It was the photograph that I had in my work desk drawer, the one that I cut out from the high school yearbook as soon as I got my practice. I realized I didn’t give a shit about anyone I went to school with, I only cared about her, so I framed it and kept it as a reminder of what could have been.
“You kept it,” she practically whispered, staring up at me with the sparkly eyes. “You kept this picture of us.”
“Of course I did,” I told her, grinning as I looked down at it. “How could I not? Look at us. We were so happy, so carefree, so in love back then. Everything seemed so simple back then. It just seemed obvious that we were meant to be.”
I glanced up at her, not even caring that I was spilling my guts to her. It just felt so right. “I guess I love it so much because it was before. It reminds me of how different things could have been.”
“I’ve been thinking about that, too,” she admitted, stepping a little closer to me. “I keep thinking I shouldn’t have thrown in t
he towel in on us so quickly. I overreacted to something so silly, and I allowed that to destroy us. I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I’d just stuck around and tried. Where would we be today?”
My heart fluttered at her words. That wasn't the statement of someone was only interested in me for the money. I couldn't believe that I’d ever thought that about her. Ashlee had always loved me, and vice versa. It was just the situation that had pushed us apart. We were too young and too grief stricken to know what to do.
“Maybe it’s time to stop worrying about what might have been different,” I told her with a smile playing on my lips. “Maybe it’s time to worry about what we could be now.”
At the astonished, but happy look that filled her expression, I knew that I’d finally said the right thing, so I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips up against hers. It was only for a moment, and it was far sweeter than it was passionate, but it got all my emotions stirred up all the same.
Ashlee felt right, she always had, and I couldn't help but think that if she felt right, she had to be. No one had ever managed to make me feel as good as her; there couldn't be anyone else.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” I asked her casually, internally praying she would say yes. When she nodded happily, I led her into the kitchen where I’d already started to make myself a chicken stew. Luckily, I’d put on too much, so there would be plenty to go around.
I started chopping up some vegetables to go into the meal, handing Ashlee some carrots, making a joke about her making herself useful along the way. We stood side by side, preparing a meal in as much harmony as an old married couple, and that felt amazing. I found that commitment wasn't scary at all when it came to Ashlee, and that I could quite happily be with her forever.
“Thank you,” she eventually muttered quietly, causing me to spin around to look at her. “For the roofer, I mean. I do appreciate it. Mom does, too.”
I smiled thinly at that, not wanting to tell her what had really gone down when it came to that. I had originally wanted to pay for the roof, and for some treatment for Peggy, but when I contacted her about it and pleaded with her, she told me it was too late. I insisted I was going to do it anyway, but she reasoned with me it was pointless trying to help someone who was beyond help. She said she would rather me help someone that needed it, and who could benefit from it. Peggy finished off by insisting she didn’t want to end her life with tubes in every orifice, and that I knew as well as she did that it wasn't going to work.
Logically, I knew she was right, but emotionally, I didn’t want to accept it.
I knew for a fact that I couldn't tell Ashlee any of that, not if I wanted her to not only enjoy our evening, but also to not stress her out for the remainder of her mother’s life. I didn’t want her to panic and to push Peggy into things, either, that wasn't fair on either of them.
Which reminded me...
“I’ll be back in a moment,” I smiled warmly at her. “Just...going to the bathroom.”
With that, I snuck into the other room and I hid the photograph of me and her father on the fishing boat. I didn’t want to have to tackle any difficult subjects that night, not when we had just got things back to a good position. We would deal with that later, after we were in a more solid place.
As we sat and ate dinner with a glass of nice wine, things slipped into a very comfortable place. We didn’t discuss anything difficult; instead, we talked about our happier times, as if we were inspired by the photograph taken from our high school yearbook. We talked about our past relationship, our old friends, and Ashlee even admitted to me that her date had been with Harry. If only she’d asked me, I could have told her that he’d become a total douche bag!
“Oh my God, do you remember the day we skipped school, just before the end of the year?” Ashlee laughed, sparking that memory inside of me. She never wanted to do anything bad, neither of us did, but that day just before we broke up forever, we decided to join some of the other kids on the peripherals of our friendship group by being bad.
“It was so not worth it,” I replied, chuckling, too. “We didn’t even do anything. We just hung out, growing increasingly bored as the day passed us by.”
That was true, but now I could see that it was worth it, just for us to have that memory. There was such a rich, ingrained history between me and Ashlee, one that had built us up to where we were today, and I wouldn’t have changed any of it. Not even the bad stuff.
Sure, it sucked that we’d lost so many years, but maybe that was what we needed to make it work. Maybe if we’d stuck together then, we would have found a way to make it implode somehow.
“Was that nice?” I asked as I slipped the plates away once we’d both finished eating the nicest meal that I’d consumed in a very long time, although that could have been the company more than the food.
“Delicious,” she grinned. “You’re an amazing cook. Who would have known it?”
“You must be drunker than you look,” I teased, before taking the dishes into the kitchen for a quick scrub down. Now that things were tidy and organized, I wanted to keep them that way.
As I shoved the plates into hot water to soak, I suddenly noticed a presence behind me. At first, I sensed her, then I felt her breath on my neck. After only a few seconds, her arms snaked around my waist, causing a big grin to spread across my mouth – one that only got wider as those hands of her started to wander all over my body.
I gripped onto the side tightly as she began to massage me through my trousers, sending a crazy amount of desire tearing through my body. She was so fucking sexy, so amazing, and now she was coming on to me... I couldn't have resisted, even if I wanted to.
As I spun around to grab hold of her, before running kisses all over her face, I decided that this time we would be slower – we would take the time to really explore one another’s bodies. We’d only had sex twice before, once when we were too young to really appreciate it, and another when we were too desperate and needy for each other to wait. This time I would resist. I would be patient, and I would make this amazing.
I lifted Ashlee up onto the counter in front of me where I could stand between her legs and run my hands all over her. I cupped her cheeks in my hands, ran my fingers through her hair, enjoying every second of having her mouth on mine. I loved this woman from the bottom of my heart, and I couldn't believe how lucky I was to be getting a third shot with her. Did I even deserve it? I hoped that I did because if she gave it to me, I had no intention of screwing up again.
I wanted to tell Ashlee that I loved her, I wanted those words to spill past my lips, but there was still something holding me back, and I wasn't quite sure what it was just yet.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ashlee
Tuesday
I could barely cope as Matthew pressed his amazing frame up against me. Everything within my body sparked with an intense fire, swirling through my veins, into my stomach, zapping at my heart.
I was so glad that I’d come tonight, especially as things had taken such an amazing turn. I hadn’t been expecting it, but it felt incredible all the same. I’d come there with the intension of making things right with Matthew, of potentially taking about an us in the future, but I was not complaining about how things had turned out.
His hands were all over my body; he was feeling every single inch of me, which was probably very difficult for him because my clothes were still a little damp from the rain earlier on. That wasn't putting him off, though; he seemed to be as needy for me as I was for him, which made me feel incredible. Every tiny bit of self-doubt simply flew from my mind, leaving me with nothing but the sensations he was giving me.
“Let’s get you out of these wet clothes,” Matthew grinned against my mouth, sending an electric bolt of desire racing right through my body.
There was something so seductive about the way he said that; it had my heart thundering noisily in my chest. I pulled back from him, shooting him a smile before tug
ging my own dress up over my head. I knew Matthew liked my body, he liked the way I looked, so there was no reason to feel shy. “Oh my God, you’re so beautiful.”
He claimed me with his mouth once more, kissing me with even more passion than before. My ears buzzed with lust, my body pulsated with desire. I felt raw and animalistic. That only got worse when his fingers finally found the outline of my underwear, which he played with for a few moments, teasing me to the point where I couldn't take it any longer. He was driving me crazy, and my back arched with bliss, giving him permission to go in even deeper, which he did enthusiastically.
I felt myself go crazy as he pulled my underwear to one side, and he began passionately exploring my hot, wet desire. As his fingers massaged my insides, giving me the sensations that I’d been craving since the last time we were together, I gripped onto him tightly, digging my nails deeply into his back, clinging onto him for dear life.
“Oh my God,” I groaned, lolling my head to one side as he alternated between plunging deep inside of me and teasing my clit with his thumb. He was bringing me to the brink of desire already, and I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t want to lose myself so quickly; I wanted to be able to explore him, too. “Stop,” I pleaded. “Not yet.”
I pushed him off me before sliding to the ground in an instant, not giving him even a moment to think. I knew what I wanted this time; I was sure of what I desired, and I didn’t want Matthew to dominate the situation once more.
I kissed him hard, spinning him around, slamming him against the wall, before descending to the ground. I wanted to taste Matthew, to feel him between my lips, and my heart pounded with excitement as I got closer to that fantasy coming true.
I unbuckled Matthew’s pants, pulling his thick, throbbing length free, and the involuntary moans that he emitted as I did that, made me feel incredible. I loved that I could turn him on, especially as I felt so damn boring after the adventurous sex life he’d clearly been living.
