by Alexa Davis
I laughed a little shakily and nodded. “I don’t recognize him. Is he important?”
She laughed. “Only in the ‘got a top forty hip hop single’ way. He hasn’t been around long enough to know if he’ll burn out fast or stick around for a while. He put C.J. in a few music videos recently, but they haven’t aired yet.”
Liz joined us and handed us each a drink. “Maybe this will help, ‘cuz.”
I glanced at the scotch in my hand then back at the two dark beauties with their arms around each other. “Thanks, Sis. I have a feeling that you guys might be my lifeline tonight.” I stayed on the fringes with Liz, Cassidy, and Nick, while Shelby and C.J. flitted from celebrity to almost celebrity without a backwards glance. I kept drinking what was handed to me, and watching the clock tick away without any sign from C.J. that she was going to remember that I, or any of us, was here.
An hour into the C.J. show, I’d had enough. I was drunk enough that I was glad I hadn’t driven, and irritable enough to know that if I watched C.J. laugh off one more guy groping her ass, I was going to get mine kicked for my response. I walked up to her as she listened to some guy who gestured wildly while he talked, and waited for him to stop for breath. Finally, he got tired of me standing there, which was just as good with me.
He pushed C.J. aside and got in my face, almost pressing his nose to mine. “Is there something you need, bro?” He stank of beer and sour sweat, and the intense red bleeding into his eyes made me wonder what else he was on.
“Just waiting to talk to my girl. Is there a reason you’re trying to kiss me?” I asked, not backing up, but turning my head slightly, both to put space between us, and to better see if a fist was headed toward my face. C.J. pushed her way between us, and pressed her back against me as she took a couple of steps back.
“Hey, Allen, this is Jackson, he’s visiting from out of state,” she belatedly tried to introduce us, as though knowing my name might make him less inclined to violence toward me.
“Yeah, bro, I was just here for some keys.” I turned to C.J. and held out my hand. “I sure don’t want to get in the way of you and your many, many friends, but I’m tired of sitting around waiting for you to remember who you came with. I’ll get a ride from Liz.” She flinched like I’d slapped her and her face went pink, then red as she flushed, either from embarrassment or anger. I really didn’t care which.
We stood there at an impasse, me with my hand out for the house key, her standing rigid, red-faced, and pissed, clinging to her little purse. Neither of us was paying any attention to Allen, which was why when he decided to punch me, I took it full on the side of my head without dodging or blocking it at all.
My head swung like it was on a swivel, and I had just enough time to register the shock on C.J.’s face before I saw another fist coming, out of the corner of my eye. That one I managed to dodge, and I blocked another, before one of the security guys stepped between us and put Allen in a choke hold.
“Just don’t swing.” C.J. managed to squeak out as I stood there, head ringing, hands balled into fists at my chest. I knew she was right, but my body still slipped easily into a fighting stance, shoulders loose, knees a little bent. I may not have been a fighter, but I was raised on a ranch surrounded by brothers and ranch hands who were always ready to pound a lesson into the youngest, smallest guy there.
“Can I go now?” I asked her. I worked my jaw a little, but I could tell that I was going to need something with some kick to put down the headache I was developing.
She nodded and took me by the hand, walking towards our mates and the exit, when a large, black hand gripped my arm just above the wrist. I spun to meet the new attacker and let go of her hand, but just as I squared up to belt the guy, I realized I was face to face with one of the biggest names in the music industry, and being the brilliant guy that I was, I did the math in the split second it took me to drop my arm and open my fist. I could not afford a lawsuit from the rapper, who was one of my favorite artists.
“Oh, my God.” I stammered. “I’m sorry man, I thought, I thought you were someone else.” I tried to stop talking, but the fanboy just poured out of my mouth like the idiot I was. “Carina, this is The Weeknd. The mother-fucking Weeknd!” He chuckled and my mouth shut with a snap.
“Hey, man, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Allen’s got some problems, and my guys are helping him get home before he does something else stupid.” He bumped knuckles with Carina. “C.J.’s my girl, man, I’m just happy to see her smiling so much. That because of you?”
I gaped at him, then turned to C.J.
“Of course, it is. Abel, meet Jackson. He’s the tech guru I told you about when we were talking about that other thing.” I looked at her, then back at him. I shrugged and started to speak, then closed my mouth again. I reached out and shook his hand.
“Nice to meet you, Jackson. C.J. tells me you could maybe help me with a little trouble I’ve been having. I have paid a lot of money for my privacy, but somehow, tabloids keep finding out where I’m going to be before I get there, despite assurances that my computers and phone are ‘secure,’” he told me, making quotations in the air as he spoke.
I nodded, grateful to be on my turf now. “I think I can take a look,” I replied, with a glance at C.J. “Early next week?”
He held out his hand and shook mine again. “Sounds good man, I’ll give you a call.” He pointed at C.J.
“I’ll text you his number right now,” she laughed. She led me to a room that was quieter, and empty. She closed the door, and for the first time since we walked into the club, I could hear myself. Unfortunately, it meant I could hear the pounding in my ears from the cheap shot I took to the head a lot better, too.
“God, my head feels like I need to go kick that skinny asshole’s face in.” I muttered as she handed me her drink and dug through her little purse.
“Hold on, Shelby’s on her way with water, and I have… aha!” She exclaimed as she held a little travel pack of Aleve in her hand. “I always carry a little emergency kit with me. I also have a Band-Aid and a hair tie, if you want it. I rolled my eyes, painfully, then agreed to the hair tie, so long as it wasn’t pink.
Shelby arrived with the water just in time for me to wash down the pill I’d taken dry, then I pulled my hair back in a little man-bun to get the longest pieces off my face.
“No bruising, I’m glad to see,” Shelby remarked. “But, if it shows up tomorrow, I’ll have the perfect cover up for it.” She winked and turned to leave. “Are you two going to be okay alone, or do I need to stay and referee?” I waved her off and C.J. shook her head.
The door closed behind her and we sat in silence. C.J. stared at the floor, refusing to look me in the eye.
“Is life always this exciting for you?” I finally asked, pacing between her and the door. “Because if it is, a warning would be nice, next time.”
“No one was forcing you to sit on the sidelines,” she snapped, finally raising her head.
“You said, ‘Wait here, I’ll get us drinks and be right back.’ Then you took off and flirted with every guy in the room until I came to get you, at which point I got sucker-punched by the guy who thought he was going to fuck you tonight.” I made every effort not to yell, but my voice got louder with every word.
“I wasn’t trying to fuck anyone,” she muttered. She looked like she was might cry, but the words just kept coming out of my mouth, despite the warning bells going off in my head.
“I get that you’re a little social butterfly who loves the attention, but when you show up with a guy you’re already sleeping with, it’s usually considered polite not to dump him off in a corner and fuck around with other guys in front of him.”
“I was fucking working, you asshole!” she shouted at me. “My ability to feed myself depends on getting video and modelling work from those guys, so I’m sorry I didn’t jump up and down to tell them I’m not available.” I put a hand on the doorknob and turned to go, but stopped to look ov
er my shoulder at her, tears now streaming down her face.
“If you want to have a relationship work out sometime, you might want to rethink your career choices, if you’re really so dependent on being fuckable to wannabe rappers for your bread and butter. You don’t have to work for them at all, and you know it.” I turned the knob and opened the door, feeling the physical push of the music pounding on my chest. I walked out and headed for the exit, ready to Uber a ride and wait on the doorstep to collect my things and leave.
A small, soft hand on my arm made me pause, and I looked down at C.J. Her nose was red and her eyes watery, but she was still the most beautiful girl there. I knew why they wanted to talk to her, and they had a lot more money than I did, so who was I to expect her to be loyal to me after just a few days?
She jerked her head toward the quiet room, and I followed her back in. I sat on the corner of the lone table inside, and she chose to pace like I had been. I waited for her to speak, but I had nothing left to say.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” she admitted quietly after a long minute. “I’ve been working so hard to brand myself and make a living that isn’t dependent on the stream because I know that isn’t a long-term option. But, I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” She folded her arms across her chest, and her dress shimmered around her legs in the dim overhead light. I was still mad as hell, but there was an ever-growing part of me that wanted to lift her onto the table and remind her that she was mine.
“I don’t like being made a fool of, C.J., no one does.” I moved to get past her before my hands started moving of their own volition, but she grabbed my arm.
“Let me get used to this, okay? You said you’d understand when I found the things I had to give up. Well, there are guys out there who only hire girls they might be able to fuck. I never have, but that’s not what matters to them. Don’t go. I will do better, I promise.” I looked at her eyes, shining with unshed tears, and cursed to myself. It was as close to an apology as I was going to get, and even though my head told me to head back to Texas, my body just wanted to push up that silky dress and remind her that she was mine.
I stifled the urge to fuck her against the wall, and let her hug me instead. She pressed her head against my chest and I felt her breathe deeply as she stood with her arms wrapped around my waist, squeezing tight.
“You won’t regret it,” she promised, still hanging on for dear life. I stroked her soft hair and knew that I already did regret it, but I wasn’t giving up on her until I knew just how much of her was the C.J. I knew when we were alone, and how much was this worldly flirt. I had the realization that tomorrow, and the whole convention, was going to be more of the same. I kissed the top of her head and she melted against me.
“No matter what, I’m your girl now,” she assured me, looking up into my face. I looked down and tried to smile. I wasn’t as sure as I had been, but I hoped she was right. After tonight, it was all or nothing for us both. But I was no longer certain if I had what it took to be hers, even though she was still willing to be mine.
Chapter Twenty-One
Carina
Sleep was as elusive as I was afraid it would be, but not for the reason I expected. Gamercon was in the background, but no longer my prime directive. I couldn’t even blame Jackson for being mad at me, or for leaving if that’s what he chose, and exactly what I expected. That’s what I would’ve done in his place. I hadn’t meant to leave him on his own for that long, I’d just lost track of time schmoozing the artists that were still giving me jobs outside of my gaming stream. Streaming had become crazy lucrative, but it was a job that depended on the opinions of a whole lot of people at only about five dollars a pop for subscription. Sure, the top guys made half a million a year, but I didn’t think that would ever be me.
So, I laid in the bed next to him while he slept and worried about how I was going to provide for myself if I let my music video gigs go. These days I was just a bit player anyway and in a few more years, I’d be aged out of every job I knew how to do well.
My best hope for my future as an artist and a model was hanging in the dressing room, complete with improvements that Jackson had thought up while he was half drunk. If he was that smart and that innovative when he was down a few shots of cheap whiskey, how much could we accomplish together sober and with a plan?
I rolled over on my side and watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he slept. Stiles the cat had claimed him as his own, and slept curled up between his ankles and spilling over one side. Jackson was effectively pinned in that position, and his breathing was the even and deep rhythm of blissfully unworried sleep. He hadn’t touched me before he went to sleep or said much on the way home from the club beyond apologizing to our companions for being tired and taking me away from them early. I hadn’t had much to say either, and everything I did say only seemed to make his shoulders and his jaw clench tighter.
I rolled away from him and tried to get some sleep and prepare for the intensity of the next day. Guys from the company that ran the site we all live-streamed from, Twitch.com, would be on the judges panel for the cosplay competition and they’d be looking for new talent. If I could get Jackson noticed by the right people, he could stay not just because of me, or maybe even despite of me. I knew most of the convention guys by sight. Now I just had to impress them enough that they wanted to partner with me, and get Jackson on a computer within fifty feet of any of them. He was impressive enough on his own. No wings needed.
Sleep finally came, but I’d stayed awake so late, tossing and turning, that when I woke up, I was thirty minutes behind. I sat up with a curse when I realized that instead of an alarm, it was the soft warmth of the morning sun on my face that was waking me. I jumped out of bed and raced to the bathroom with one hard, wordless glare at Jackson before I slammed the bathroom door.
I practiced my yoga breathing in the shower and tried to calm down and get focused. I had a long day ahead of me, with at least two costume changes, a Twitch TV viewers’ panel, and who knew how long I’d be posing with sweaty geeks for pictures. I reminded myself that the money was worth it and quickly shaved everything south of my chin, washed my hair, and was out of the shower in less than ten minutes.
Dressing was the easiest part. I threw on a tight tank top over a push-up bra, then blew out my hair and pulled it back tight in a bun to make it easier to get it under the several wigs I expected to wear. I added the extra heavy moisturizer Shelby made me wear under the make-up she’d be applying later, and when I checked the clock, I was almost still on schedule. The blender was going when I headed back into the living room. The bed was put away and my runners were neatly placed side by side on the floor in front of the sofa. My light hoodie was draped over the arm, and as I sat to put on my shoes, a tall glass covered in condensation was placed at my elbow.
My benefactor crouched in front of me and stared me in the eyes as I glared back at him, and a frost enveloped me. We weren’t a real couple, I wasn’t to blame for his ego bruising the night before. But he had turned off my alarm deliberately, knowing that this was a work obligation that would keep a roof over my head. If I wandered in thirty minutes late, they’d just give the job to some other model or wannabe, and at twenty-three, I was older than a lot of my peers already. And frankly, I had standards that others had given up by their mid-teens.
“I made a mistake, didn’t I?” He ran a hand over my leg. “I knew you were ahead of the game, and you didn’t seem to sleep much last night, so I thought I’d let you sleep and help out with stuff.”
“It isn’t just about getting ready. This job is a whole lot harder than it looks. I bet you couldn’t be nice to people who smell weird and say stupid, disgusting, rape-y things to you while you’re forced to let them touch you while taking pictures, or speak on a panel where half the time you’re being attacked because of your gender, and do it all in ridiculously tight latex, while wearing back-breaking high heels for hours at a time.”
“You’re ri
ght, I couldn’t. But, after last night, I just wanted to remind you that you aren’t doing it alone. I would’ve woken you up a couple of minutes after you did, I was trying to get your breakfast made first. My bad.”
I sighed loudly. Even to me it sounded over dramatic. I rolled my eyes and leaned forward so my forehead was against his, and he turned his head and kissed me on the cheek. I drank my smoothie which, once again, tasted far too good to be right, and even let him carry the heavier bag to the car, despite it being the one that held my baby.
“Oh, I forgot to feed Stiles,” I gasped as I turned on one heel to head aback upstairs.
“Already done, C.J. Geez, what kind of monster do you think I am? Feeding everyone but the poor helpless kitty?” A surprised bark of laughter escaped me.
“Oh, Stiles can afford to miss a few meals. But I learned the hard way that he gets offended by an empty food dish, and we would’ve come home to all manner of feline vandalism committed on the apartment, from claws, teeth, or ass. He’s a real charmer when he’s pissed off.”
“Glad I fed him extra treats then. I hid them all over the apartment. He should have a good time hunting them all down while we’re gone.” He grinned at me over the bags as we carefully laid everything out in the back of his rented Jeep. I grabbed the parking pass from my own car and hung it from the mirror as he navigated his way out of the parking garage. The window was down all the way to the convention center and I was grateful for a clear, sunny day free from smog or clouds as we parked and hiked in to the employees’ entrance around the back of the spacious building.
We had our pictures taken and received our identification cards without any question as to why Jackson was with me and, because I was a paid model and a top one-hundred ranked streamer, he got an all access pass just for being with me. It was a real score for him, and I hid my smile behind my hand as I watched him try to play it cool.
