‘What now?’ said Saskia, holding the bowlful of petals.
‘Now we leave it to sit in the sun for a couple of hours and then we leave it out for the night to soak up the moon.’
Saskia looked up to the wintry sky. ‘Hardly any sun at all today,’ she said.
‘I know, I know,’ I said. ‘But that’s just from our perspective. As far as the sun’s concerned it’s beaming away like it always does. Just over the other side of the clouds.’
26.
I was hoping that by the time I got back Steph would be ready for a walk, but the guest room door was shut tight and Dad had told me not to knock or disturb her, on account of depressed people needing a lot more sleep than regular people.
‘Hey, Sunny,’ called Lyall from the library as I came downstairs. ‘There’s a letter for you. Looks like it’s from your boyfriend.’
‘Grow up, Lyall.’ I almost punched his arm but chose instead to grab the envelope. ‘He’s not my boyfriend.’
The letter was from Finn all right. Not only was he the only person who wrote me letters, but it was in one of his handmade and recycled envelopes. I carefully unstuck the back and found a message written on a smallish card.
NFSH,
Hey there,
About that seance. Do they work during the day? I was thinking I could come over on Saturday, around ten. It’s a pity you’re grounded because I really want you to come to my house one day too. I’m working on a knitted wall, because Mum found an old knitting machine and it works a treat. I think you’d like my mum too. See you Saturday. P.S. In a few weeks, you’ll be able to send me a reply by pigeon and it will only take a few hours. Mad!
NFFFL x
‘Why doesn’t your boyfriend just, like, use the phone?’ said Lyall, as I put the card back in the envelope.
‘Probably because you and your sister are, like, always on it. Have you ever thought of that, Lyall? Besides, soon we’re going to be communicating exclusively by pigeon.’
‘Yeah, well, have you seen how much Settimio’s been feeding those birds? It’ll be a wonder if they can fly at all. There’re starting to look more like penguins. You’d better say something to him, Sunny. Really.’
‘Really?’ I said.
‘Really,’ said Lyall.
‘Hey, Lyall,’ yelled Saskia bursting through the back door. ‘Where are you?’
‘We’re in here!’ Lyall shouted back at her.
‘Shhh, you guys. Flora’s asleep!’ I said as Saskia found us in the library.
‘I’ve made some jumps,’ she said, still puffing. ‘For the dogs this afternoon. Come and see, you guys.’
‘They’re not horses, Saskia,’ said Lyall. ‘How are we meant to get dogs to go over jumps?’
‘With treats, Lyall. Like how you make a dog do anything else,’ said Saskia.
Willow looked up at me as if to say, It’s true, treats work. You should really try them more often.
Saskia had made a whole circuit of jumps down on the flat part near the river. There were eight of them in total, made out of wooden garden stakes, propped up on whatever she could find.
‘Look, I’ll show you. Come on, Willow, follow me!’ Saskia started running and took the first jump, checking behind her to see if Willow was following, which … she wasn’t.
‘Come on, Willow!’ Saskia stood on the other side of the first jump and reached down deep into her pocket. Willow, clearly suspecting a treat, pricked up her ears and ran over to her, and Saskia took the next jump with Willow close behind, and then the next one, hoping Willow would catch on. Willow didn’t exactly jump, though. She spent a few moments sniffing the garden stake, and, with Saskia desperately coaxing from the other side, eventually stepped over it, as though it was a puddle that wasn’t worth lying down in.
‘Good girl!’ said Saskia feeding her a leathery doggie treat. ‘She’s getting the idea! Come on, Willow, next one!’
Saskia started running again, with Willow pacing directly beside her, licking and nibbling at her hand rather than watching at all where she was going.
‘Jump, Willow!’ commanded Saskia as she hurdled the next jump.
Willow, of course, ran straight through it, knocking the stake over as well as the two buckets that were supporting it. She got such a fright that she yelped and ran away, as if she thought perhaps the jump was going to chase her. Then she suddenly became self-conscious, probably because Lyall and I were laughing so much, so she hurried towards me and buried her head between my knees.
‘Don’t be embarrassed, Willow,’ I said, stroking her head. ‘Lyall, stop laughing; you’ll hurt her feelings.’
‘Well,’ said Saskia. ‘Maybe it would work better if she was on her leash?’
‘Maybe it would work better if she was a horse!’ mocked Lyall. ‘The only ones who’ll be getting a workout are us!’
‘I don’t care!’ said Saskia, running toward the front gate. ‘I gotta go get Banjo. He’ll jump. I just know it!’
Lyall and I were on our way to picking up Woolfie and Sophia when I remembered Ritchie’s Crocs.
‘I forgot,’ said Lyall. ‘I’ll have to put them back next time. Don’t worry, Ritchie will never know it was us.’
‘You mean, Ritchie will never know it was you,’ I said.
‘Have it your way, Sunny,’ sighed Lyall. ‘Come to Ritchie’s with me anyway, and pick up Woolfie.’
‘Only if you agree to have a seance with me and Finn. So that we can commune with the spirit of Granny Carmelene.’
‘What about, Saskia?’
‘She’s in. She can hardly wait.’
Lyall looked at me suspiciously.
‘Come on, Lyall, what else are kids meant to do when they’re grounded?’
‘Okay,’ Lyall said. ‘But if the whole thing backfires I’m not taking the blame.’
When we got to Ritchie’s, Lyall and I were greeted by the most unexpected surprise. Sophia was running about in Ritchie’s front garden with Woolfie.
Lyall and I looked at one another in amazement, right at the exact moment the front door opened, and Ritchie and Kara appeared on the verandah … together!
‘Well, thanks a million, Ritchie,’ said Kara, just before they noticed us. ‘Oh, Sunny,’ said Kara awkwardly. ‘We meet again. And hello, Lionel. Sorry, was it Lionel?’
‘Lyall,’ we answered at the same time.
‘I’m so sorry, Lyall,’ Kara said, burrowing through her bag for her keys.
‘Come on in, guys,’ said Ritchie holding Sophia by the collar, as if he’d known her all his life. ‘Kara and I were just chatting about her leaving Sophia here from time to time, for play days. Since she and Woolfie seem to have become such great friends and all – thanks to the wonderful team at Boredom Control.’
Kara laughed. It was kind of like a grown-up version of the fake laugh Claud had developed when she got a crush on Buster.
‘Sounds like a great idea,’ I said, looking to Lyall.
‘Great idea,’ he agreed. ‘Can’t believe we didn’t think of it ourselves.’
Kara and Ritchie shot each other a look. Kind of like the one Mum and Carl exchanged when they realised Carl was wearing Ritchie’s stolen Crocs. Then Kara did an about-turn and raced towards the gate.
‘Okay then, I’ll be off,’ she said. ‘Maybe after you’ve finished your routine you could drop Sophia back here? At least then she’ll have some company for the rest of the day. I’ve got to work late again.’
‘Sure,’ I said, clipping on Sophia’s leash as Kara squeezed out the gate.
‘No stress, Kara,’ said Ritchie. ‘Pick her up whenever you like.’ He watched her get in her car and waved her off.
‘Nice lady,’ said Lyall.
‘You betcha,’ Ritchie smiled.
‘Sorry about that mix up with the collars,’ I added. ‘It won’t happen again.’
‘Fine by me, kiddo, you can give me an excuse to call Kara any old time you like.’
As you may have
guessed, the jumps weren’t exactly a huge success, but I didn’t want to be the sort of person who says I told you so, so I tried my hardest to help Saskia make them work. Besides, I really wanted to be in a position where Saskia owed me a little generosity, as she’d be sure to freak out when seance time actually did come around. (I must say, Willow didn’t exactly help matters. She kept distracting the other dogs in an attempt to get one or all of them to chase her around the house.)
‘Forget it!’ Saskia shrieked eventually, stamping her foot.
‘Let them run for a while,’ I said, hanging the leashes on the wooden railing at the back verandah stairs. ‘They are meant to be losing weight after all.’
Just as I opened my mouth to comment on Banjo’s exemplary behaviour, he suddenly stopped speeding about with the others and began barking at them instead.
‘Oh no,’ I said. ‘Banjo’s got that look again. Like he’s seeing the world through round-’em-up coloured glasses.’
He crouched down on all fours, trying to look as if he was invisible, obviously planning a pounce.
‘Banjo, stay!’ I said, holding up my hand like a stop sign. But it was too late. Banjo lurched out at Willow, who was the first to pass him, and crunched his jaws around her back foot.
Willow gave a yelp I’d never heard before. Then she growled and gnashed her teeth at Banjo, and ran over to cower behind my legs. She was holding one of her back feet up off the ground, and I could see a puncture wound and blood.
‘Oh no!’ I wailed. ‘He’s done it again!’
‘Oh my!’ cried Saskia, pointing towards the other dogs. They were piled up on top of one another in one big angry doggie brawl. ‘Dog fight! Lyall, do something!’
It was a dog fight all right. A growling tumble-dryer of teeth and claws, and it seemed to be getting more and more intense.
‘Daaaaaaaaad!!’ screamed Saskia.
‘Dad’s not here, idiot!’ yelled Lyall.
Willow was shaking, but I didn’t want to move in case Banjo shifted his focus from savaging Woolfie and Sophia and tried to take on me and Willow instead.
That’s when Steph appeared at the back door in her nightie. Steph of all people, and she looked dead angry too. She stomped down the back steps and snatched the hose up from where it was lying by the herb garden.
‘I know there are water restrictions and all, Lyall, but turn it on full blast, would you? Hurry!’ yelled Steph.
Lyall did exactly as he was told, reassuring Steph that the hose was from the greywater tank we used for the garden, so we weren’t wasting good drinking water.
Steph set the hose on the dog fight, focusing on squirting Banjo. The three of them separated at once and whenever one even looked like moving she blasted them with water.
‘Now, put their leashes on!’ she yelled. ‘And tie them up well away from one another.’
Lyall and Saskia set to it while Steph turned the hose off and came over to inspect Willow’s foot. The skin was broken, but it wasn’t very deep. Banjo had pretty much given Willow the same wound as he’d given me. ‘Should be okay,’ said Steph. ‘Just give it a wash, Sunny.’
‘I will,’ I said. ‘Sorry to disturb you, Steph. Thanks for breaking up the fight.’
‘Don’t mention it,’ said Steph. ‘It seems like that dog doesn’t need Boredom Control. He’d do better with some Anger Management.’ Then she became suddenly self-conscious, as if she’d only just realised she was walking around in her nightie. ‘I’d better go check on Flora,’ she said.
I carried Willow up the back steps, and set her down on the doormat, where she curled herself over and began sorrowfully licking her bitten foot.
‘I’m sorry, girl,’ I said gently patting her head. ‘In your own home too; that’s just rude!’
I looked over to where Lyall had tied Banjo to the pipes on the wall near the tap. Banjo looked every bit pleased with himself, as if he’d do it all again in a flash if he had half a chance.
It was lucky for us (and for them!) that neither Sophia nor Woolfie were hurt in the dog fight, but can you believe Lyall still wanted to give Banjo another chance?
‘Not on your life, Lyall!’ I said as we were drying Woolfie and Sophia off.
‘Forget it, Lyall,’ Saskia added. ‘We already agreed that today was his last chance and that sacking him was going to be your job.’
‘Fine,’ said Lyall. ‘I’ll sack him if he plays up next time.’
‘No way!’ I said. ‘I’m taking him straight back to the Archers’ right now and sacking him myself. You coming, Saskia?’
‘Absolutely,’ confirmed Saskia. ‘That dog is out, Lyall, and there’s nothing you can do about it.’
It was only as Saskia and I were marching Banjo back to his home that I realised Lyall had used Reverse Psychology on me.
‘That sneaky little …’
‘What?’ asked Saskia.
‘Have a look at us. Lyall got what he wanted, didn’t he?’
‘But he wanted Banjo to stay,’ said Saskia.
‘No, silly, what he really wanted was to drop Banjo, but not to have to do it himself. He just pretended he wanted Banjo to stay so he wouldn’t have to do the sacking part.’
‘Ugh! That’s so typical Lyall.’
Banjo pulled on his leash as we approached the Archer’s front fence and started wagging his tail like crazy when he saw Mr Archer collecting the mail.’
‘Hi, girls!’ he said. ‘How was Boredom Control today?’
It wasn’t easy giving Banjo the sack, I can tell you. Still, it had to be done and in the end I had to do it all. Saskia just stood there and acted as if she didn’t speak English.
Mr Archer assured us Banjo had absolutely never bitten anyone before, especially not other dogs. Eventually I got Mr Archer to understand that we didn’t think Banjo was the right sort of customer for Boredom Control. I mean, we were fine with him on the issue of relieving boredom but were absolute failures when it came to control. In the end I just showed him my ankle, which was still bruised. That made all the difference.
Saskia and I walked most of the way home in silence.
‘Are you cross with me, Sunny?’ she asked sheepishly, knowing she shouldn’t have dumped the whole job on me.
But I wasn’t really that annoyed with Saskia. She is only nine after all. Mostly I was annoyed with myself for not detecting Lyall’s implementation of payback Reverse Psychology. Reverse-Reverse Psychology – who would have thought?
27.
It was getting dark when I knocked gently on Steph’s door.
‘Come in,’ I heard her say, so I eased the door open and shut it quietly behind me.
She was in bed reading, and Flora was next to her, fast asleep with her arms up above her head as if she was floating.
‘Hi, Sunny,’ she said. ‘Flora’s been asleep for hours, so I thought I’d make the most of it and have a bath and a read. Sorry about our walk. The day just seemed to slip away.’
‘That’s okay.’
‘It really is lovely up here. It’s like another world. I’m not going to want to go home – kind of dreading it actually, even if we are flush with freezer meals.’
‘I don’t want you to go home either,’ I said. Even thinking about it made me get throat ache.
‘Mum and Carl said that we can bring dinner up to you later, like a real hotel or a hospit—’ I suddenly thought that I shouldn’t mention hospital, considering that there had been talk of Steph having to go there.
‘You know what, Sunny? I know you’re not meant to enjoy a dog fight, but there was something about hosing that crazy dog away that gave me a big surge of energy. I feel like I’ve got a bit of life in me again. Strange, isn’t it?’
‘Wow,’ I said. ‘Maybe Banjo wasn’t such a disaster after all.’
Flora made a few stirring noises and opened her eyes.
‘Can I have a hold?’ Steph nodded and I slid my hand gently under Flora’s head and scooped her off the bed and into my arms.
‘There you go, Flora,’ I said. ‘It’s me again, your naughty big sister, Sunny.’
Flora studied my face for the longest time, because when you’re that young you can stare at people without anybody telling you that it’s bad manners. I could also see her looking about for Steph. ‘Mumsy’s right here, Flora, no need to worry.’
Flora looked at me again as if to wonder whether I was a reliable source. I guess she thought I was, because her whole face broke into the biggest smile ever. Then she looked dead serious again, as though perhaps she was worried for me about the goo-goo baby noises I was making as I smiled back at her.
‘Yes Flora,’ I said. ‘You’re going to love it here, yes you are, yes you are, yes you are.’
I got to hold Flora all through dinner because she cried every time we put her in the pram. Then Saskia had a turn while I ate my fish.
‘Would you like a hold too, Lyall?’ Steph asked,
‘Oh, no thanks, maybe later,’ said Lyall. ‘I like babies but, like, babies don’t really like me. I’m kind of better with cats and dogs.’
‘Ooooh yeah, Lyall’s reeeeeally good with dogs. Yes siree,’ said Saskia, knowing that she was safe from getting a punch from Lyall while she was holding a baby.
‘That reminds me, Lyall,’ said Carl. ‘You did return Ritchie’s Crocs today didn’t you?’
‘Kind of,’ answered Lyall.
‘Kind of! It was a simple question Lyall. You either put them back or you didn’t. Now, which is it?’
‘We need this whole thing resolved by Saturday,’ Mum said. ‘Ritchie’s coming to the working bee. Oh, and Kara called to say she was coming too, which is great.’
‘Kara doesn’t even like gardening,’ I said, before I remembered how sometimes people pretend to like things when they’re trying to impress someone.‘
Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Storms Page 15
