“A Seer?”I stopped next to a display of bug repellent. “But you’re a boy.”
Spence lifted an eyebrow a full inch up his forehead. “And you’re a girl, Little Miss Shifter. These things do happen, you know.” He studied the display with a critical eye, moved around a few canisters to make the shelf look fuller, and then continued. “And, for the record, I’m a man. I passed 'boy' without so much as a glance many years ago.”
Of course I knew guys could sometimes See things, but it was still strange to me. I was certain Spence wasn’t a Shifter, and somehow I had, without conscious thought, decided all male Seers were like Alex.
“What do you See?” I asked, once again trailing behind Miriam.
“Jesus, have you no manners at all? I thought Southerners were supposed to be all genteel and shit.”
“And I thought gay men were supposed to be fashion-conscious,” I said looking at the ugly white tennis shoes peeking out from underneath his slightly wrinkled and overly long khaki pants.
“Are you stereotyping me?”
I finally caught up with Miriam, who was looking at a wall of shoes. “You did it first,” I retorted.
“Children, please,” Miriam said, picking up a hiking boot. “Dulzura, Spence doesn’t like to speak of his gift and prefers to ignore it. Please be considerate of his wishes on the matter.” She turned to Spence. “As for you, she is a Shifter in need of your assistance, not to mention still a child. Quit antagonizing her, and help her find a pair of boots. Liam said she needs something good for climbing, and they have to be weather-resistant.”
Spence’s eyebrow traveled way up north again. “Liam? She’s Liam’s?”
“I came here with Liam. I don’t belong to him like a piece of property.” Of course, that wasn’t exactly what he was implying. My blood threatened to rush to my face at what he was implying, especially since it brought the memory of our not-really kiss up to the forefront of my mind. “Why do I need boots?” I asked Miriam to distract from the whole issue of Liam and me.
“Dear, I don’t question Liam. I just do as he asks, and he asked me to get you some boots and thermals.” She held up the hiking boot. “What do you think?”
“It’s ugly?” I’m not really into clothes and shoes and stuff, but I wasn’t sure the leather and mesh lace-up atrocity she displayed was even intended for females. “Do you really take orders from Liam?”
“It’s not supposed to be pretty, it’s supposed to help you navigate the wilderness and protect your feet.” She looked at the shoe and wrinkled her nose. “And of course I take orders from Liam. He’s a Dominant, and I’m a Seer.”
“But you’re like his step-mom. Moms don’t take orders from kids.” It was something my mother reminded me of often during my middle school years.
“If they’re going out during the winter she’s going to need a mountaineering boot instead of a backpacking one,” Spence interjected. He grabbed one of those silver foot measuring things I’ve never actually seen anyone use from a bench. “Sit down and take off your shoes,” he said to me.
I thought about resisting, but realized it would be a bratty, spoiled child-like thing to do.
Miriam put her selection back in its spot. “Even those of us who don't fully support our Alpha Pack have certain rules to follow. It’s part instinct, but mostly it’s to ensure that chaos doesn’t reign. Liam is a strong, trustworthy Dominant. He loves and respects me, so if he asks me to do something, I do it.”
“And if one of the Alphas asked you to do something?” I asked as Spence grabbed my foot and put it in his contraption. The metal was cool and his fingers soft as he arranged it just so. I bit my lip to suppress a completely inappropriate giggle.
“Outright defiance is harder for us,” Spence answered. “Since she can get into our heads anytime she pleases, we have to at least have the appearance of being her loyal servants.” He finally stopped tickling my foot and released it. “Wait here. I’m going to grab a few different styles for you to try on.”
There was something about what he said that was bothering me. “She can reach you guys anywhere, any time, right?”
"Yes," Miriam answered, "the Alpha Female is able to contact her Seers no matter the distance or time of the month.”
“So, she can only do the brain-talk thing with Shifters when she’s in a certain range?”
“Yes. Like the rest of us, she has to be within a few miles during the full moon to communicate with a Shifter.”
“But not just during a full moon.”
Miriam’s attention had returned to the shoes on the wall. “No, it’s just during the full moon. Her connection to Shifters is no different than mine or Spence’s.”
“That’s not true,” I said as Spence came from the back room with a stack of shoe boxes there was no way he could see over. “When they had me captive she mind-melded with me in the middle of the day, and it was a few nights after the full moon.”
Spence dropped his haul without an ounce of grace. “She knows you exist? You’ve talked to her?”
“It wasn’t voluntary on my part,” I said. “Although, it’s hard to refuse when she’s got you locked in an electricity-fortified steel cage.”
“The Alphas had you captive? And you got away?” Spence’s eyes nearly popped out his head. “How?”
I shrugged, hoping I made it look like it was no big deal. “Charlie, Liam, and I killed some Stratego, and then Liam and I made a run for it.”
His wide-eyed gaze swung to Miriam. “You’re going to get me killed!”
She ignored him to focus on me. “Are you sure? Sarvarna spoke to your mind in daylight?”
“Well, I can’t be sure about the daylight part since I was in a basement, but I do know it wasn’t a full moon.”
Miriam’s face, which always held a kind of softness before, hardened into a mask of complete seriousness. “What did she say?”
“I don’t remember exactly.” A lot had happened between then and now. “She was talking crazy. Something about how I didn’t think she would find me and how I was breaking some sort of rules. It didn’t really make any sense to me, although she really thought I should know what she was talking about. I think she thought I was someone else. She even called me the wrong name.”
“What did she call you?” Her voice was high and reedy.
“Ummm… Lydia? Lilly? Lilith?” That was it. I remembered thinking I had heard that name used in some sort of mythology before. “Yeah, Lilith.”
Miriam visibly paled.
“What is it?” Spence asked. “What are you thinking? How much danger are we in?”
She swallowed deeply and smoothed her hair down. “Spence, dear, let’s see what treasures you’ve brought us.”
“You promised me when I moved here I would be kept safe,” Spence said, jaw clenched. “You said I could stay out of all of it, live my life like a normal person under your protection. Now you’re bringing a girl who throws off enough Dominance to make the hair on my arms stand on end, and has murdered part of Her Majesty’s Elite Guard into my store and asking me to aide her. That isn’t staying out of if, Miriam. That’s standing right in the middle of it with a bull’s eye painted on my chest.”
Her eyes didn’t even flicker. “The boots, Spence.”
“Tell me why, Miriam. Who is she? What’s going on?”
Miriam walked over to the pile of shoe boxes, picked up the one on top, flipped open the lid, and dug out a boot. “There’s nothing to tell,” she said, handing me a monstrous shoe. “You now know what I do. The girl is a Shifter, she was being held by the Alphas, but she escaped.”
“There’s more.”
Miriam sighed. “There is always more, but I don’t know what that is any more than you do.”
Spence wasn’t buying it. For the record, neither was I. “That name, what does it mean?”
Miriam bent down to help me with the laces.
“Who is Lilith?” Spence asked, growing more agitated.
/> Still no response.
“I’m curious as to the answer to that one myself,” I said as she shoved the boot onto my foot with way more force than necessary. “Is she another Seer or a Thaumaturgic?”
“Thaumaturgics aren’t real,” Spence said condescendingly.
I glared up at him. “Glad you think so. I’d hate to see your reaction to finding out I was convicted of being one if you were a believer.”
He threw a hand over his eyes, using the one hand to massage both temples. “God, this keeps getting better and better.”
“Really, Spence, your theatrics aren’t entertaining anyone. Get a grip.” Miriam twisted my laces together so tightly I feared I would end up losing a foot from lack of blood flow. “Get up and walk around a bit. Make sure your toes have some wiggle room and the width doesn’t pinch or slide.”
This time there wasn’t even the thought of not doing as she asked. Her tone and face were still completely schooled, but she was one second away from snapping. I didn’t fear her physically, but Miriam was a tough lady, one whose path I didn’t want to be in when she went on a rampage. I had a feeling anyone equipped to keep a young and angry Liam Cole in line could handle me with little thought or effort.
“Like Thaumaturgics, Lilith is just a myth and legend,” she said as I walked up and down the aisles trying to decide if the boots were supposed to be this uncomfortable. “We can’t know what Sarvarna was thinking by calling you that. Maybe she really believes you are her reincarnation, or maybe it’s another one of her ploys.”
I wiggled my toes. “Am I supposed to be able to feel the stitching?”
“No, try these,” Spence said, grabbing a box from the middle of the stack without making the whole thing topple.
“So this mythological Lilith, who is she?” I asked as I sat down and began wrestling my way out of the boots.
“According to legend, she’s the first Seer.”
“You mean the chick who fell in love with a wolf?” It was the Shifter and Seer origin story Talley told me. “She has a name?” I tried to remember more details from my best friend’s disturbing supernatural bedtime story. “Wait. Does your version say what this Lilith person looked like?”
It was Spence who answered as he helped me into the second pair of boots, which were slightly less hideous than the previous pair. “She was the moon incarnate.”
“So, all monochromatic and silvery?”
“I think the word my mother used was ‘luminescent’.”
“This doesn’t make sense. Sarvarna definitely thought of Lilith as a bad guy. If she was the first Seer, shouldn’t she and the Alpha Female be BFFs?”
Spence snorted. “Sarvarna? BFFs with a more powerful Seer? What kind of fairy land are you living in?”
“There is another version of the story,” Miriam said. “In it, Lilith was a manipulative demon, so evil all the color had leeched from her. Of course, that is just a warped version of the true legend used to frighten children.”
Of course it was. Although, now I could kind of see where Sarvarna was coming from. A female with pale skin, silvery hair, and icy blue eyes? Not a ton of us running around out there. And if she actually believed that version…
On second thought, I didn’t really see where she was coming from at all.
While I was dismissing all theories which turned me into a demon, Miriam came over, hunkered down in front of me, and fixed her eyes on mine. I thought she meant to grab my attention before saying something profound, but she just kept staring deep into my eyes.
“Ummm…” I couldn’t think of anything to say other than, “Get out of my face.”
“It’s not working,” she finally said with a sigh as she stood back up. “You’re going to have to try.”
I expected outrage or dramatics, but Spence simply said, “No.”
“I’m not strong enough. Hank is my mate and I can’t connect with him if he gets more than a quarter mile away during the full moon.”
“I won’t.” His voice was calm and quiet. “I don’t even know if I can.”
Miriam placed her hand over his. “Of course you can. Just let it go.” He shook his head in silent refusal, but at the same time turned his hand over and laced his fingers with hers. Then he closed his eyes and did as she asked. I knew because I felt it. His power rushed over me like flood waters breaking through the dam. When he opened his eyes, they were locked onto mine.
“Can you hear me?” The voice in my head was identical to his speaking voice, which probably said something profound about what kind of person Spence is, but I don’t really know what that something is.
“No.” I didn’t want to be able to hear him. I wasn’t buying into this reincarnated first Seer crap, especially since I don’t See anything, nor did I want to.
The corner of Spence’s mouth tilted up. “Are you saying you want me to pretend that I can’t hear you? That you’re not what Miriam suspects?”
“I’m not.”
“You could change the world.”
“I could get a bunch of people killed because they believe a lie.”
Spence nodded ever so slightly. “Sorry,” he said aloud to Miriam. “Nothing.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Then what was that nod about?”
Damn, she was sharp.
“I was simply acknowledging that I was right.” He pointed at me and then mimicked walking around with his fingers. “I can’t do it. After more than fifteen years of repressing it, I don’t know how to See anymore.”
“Malarky. You can’t lose your ability to See any more than that girl can stop the Change under the full moon.”
I saw jock straps and cups at the end of the aisle and quickly turned back around. “Actually, Liam thinks I should be able to start and stop the Change at will. He’s really sold on the whole idea despite the fact I can’t even get my body to even consider the possibility.”
Miriam leveled me with a classic mom-look, which must be taught to all females at some point.
Spence ignored my interruption and Miriam’s annoyance. “Yes, well, a male Seer never lives past the age of twenty either. It seems I can be quite exceptional when my life depends on it.” He clapped his hands together and turned on the ball of his foot. “Enough of this dreadful True Blood wannabe stuff. Elizabeth, how do those boots feel?”
It took me a second to realize he was talking to me. I lifted one knee chest-high and then the other.
“Heavy.”
“Are they too tight?”
“No.”
“Too loose?”
“No.”
“Can you move your toes?”
“Yes.”
“Then quit being a whiner. If a ninety pound backpacker can walk in those, so can you.”
I ended up getting that pair of boots, although Miriam and Spence made me try on five more pairs. I also got three sets of what Miriam called thermals but my family always referred to as long johns, and a package of really expensive socks. Spence refused to let the conversation return to anything Sifter or Seer related. I think Miriam felt sorry for him, but she gave up with less of a fight then I expected. Then, as we were leaving, he reached out to me telepathically again.
“Don’t let them give you any of that ‘greater good’ shit,” he said. “You’re too young to be a sacrifice in an unwinnable war.”
“But what if we can win? What if you’re wrong?”
His eyes dropped to my stomach. “I’m not.”
***
“How does he do it?” I asked once we were back in Miriam’s Saab. The day had turned overcast and a cool dampness clung to my clothes. I found it a bit annoying, but not overly so. Miriam, on the other hand, cranked the heater all the way up and was holding her hands over the vents, waiting for them to de-thaw. “How does Spence suppress his Sight?”
Miriam flexed her fingers. “With a great deal of effort.” When I continued to wait for an answer she went on. “Seeing is a gift, but sometimes it is also a burden. For S
pence, it was more than he could handle. Couple that with being a male Seer and…” She shrugged. “Seeing requires a certain amount of openness to work. We have to connect ourselves to other people, especially Shifters, and be willing to let in whatever it is the universe wishes us to See. However, if you cut yourself off from the world, stay away from others like us, with enough will power you can choke your Sight and hinder your ability to See.”
“But Spence runs a store and hangs out with you guys. That doesn’t seem very reclusive to me.”
Miriam turned down the heat one notch, an action which was met with a silent “Hallelujah” from me. “Spence owns the store, but he runs the business from his home. All the day-to-day operations are handled by his managers. And this was the first time I’ve seen him in… five? Six years?” She shook her head as if she couldn’t believe it had really been that long. “He only came today because I called in a favor.”
I had been more than a little annoyed with him back at the store, but now I felt my agitation giving way to sympathy. Spence didn’t seem like a natural hermit. Hiding himself away, cutting himself off from everyone and everything just to keep himself from Seeing had to be torture.
“What does he See? What could be that bad?”
After a moment’s hesitation, Miriam replied. “Death.”
“Like that kid on that movie? The one who sees dead people?”
“No, not like that. It’s a variation of a Future Seer. When he looks at a person, he can See their moment of death.”
My hand automatically covered my stomach, the scars tangible even through my shirt.
“All people?” I asked. “All the time?”
She nodded. “Every person he comes in contact with. Everywhere he looks, all he Sees is death. He knows if you will be young or old. He knows the pain and the peace.” She pulled the car into the garage. “Can you imagine what it must be like for him to have that burden on his heart all the time?”
No, I couldn’t, nor did I want to. I was with Spence; it was too much for a person to bear. It angered me that Miriam had forced him to open himself up to all that horror just to run a practice test on my weird abilities.
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