Defiant Destiny

by Madison Cumbee

  Instead of answering immediately, like I would have thought- giving me a lecture about how this could put the mission in danger and humans are too messy to get involved with- Azra sat quietly. I could tell that he was deep in thought, so I didn’t press the matter. I sat back down at the table and waited for his words to come.

  After what seemed like an eternity of my anticipation for his inspired wisdom to help me out, Azra finally focused his eyes on me and said, “You have to play this thing out.”

  I waited for him to go on, but he didn’t. He just sat there with finality in his stare. “That’s it?” I was disappointed.

  “That’s it,” he stated. When I looked at him like he was an idiot, which doesn’t happen very often, he said, “This is something that you have to figure out for yourself. You’ll know what to do when the time comes. Some things can’t be planned; you just have to go off of instinct and your conscience. It’s hard, but you can do it… You said you felt a pull toward this girl?” I nodded. “Hhm… why don’t you just try talking to her and go from there.”

  Azra stood up, put his hand on my shoulder, and then walked into the house. I was left with my thoughts buzzing around in my head. I didn’t go inside for a few minutes, but when I did, no one mentioned anything.

  ♂ ♂ ♂ ♂ ♂

  The next morning I woke with a smile on my face that quickly disappeared. I had dreamt of Keira. I shouldn’t have been dreaming about a mortal, but there was nothing that I could do about it then. In my dream, it was just her and me somewhere all alone. She was standing there in front of me, just standing. I looked into her beautiful green eyes, and she smiled at me. That’s when I woke up to reality and immediately wanted nothing more than to go back to my dream world. But we had a mission to do, and my kind doesn’t get sick so I had no excuse for staying in bed all day.

  I walked downstairs and ate breakfast with the others, and then I drove us to school. Just like the day before, the minute we walked in, everyone stared. It gets old- people staring at you like you’re some kind of otherworldly freak. I mean, we are different compared to them, but just because I’m only half-human doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be treated humanely. I had never done anything to these people, but still all they could see was that the five new students obviously didn’t belong there. We don’t belong anywhere.

  I was pulled out of this state of self-pity when I passed Keira in the hallway. She was looking straight ahead toward a classroom and didn’t seem to notice I was less than five feet away from her. I turned as she passed and watched her go. A few seconds after she vanished behind a doorway, the tardy bell rang. I stepped into my homeroom, and the teacher dismissed me without punishment, most likely letting me off with the excuse of being new. At least there were some perks to always being the outsider.

  My first class was Band. At least that was something I could look forward to that day. Whenever I play music, the world seems to disappear. It used to be the only time that I felt that way, until Keira. I had to talk to her. Sometime today, I told myself. Sometime today I’ll figure out why this is happening to me.

  When we were dismissed from homeroom, I saw Josh and caught his eye. I motioned him over and greeted him, “Hey.”

  “Hey,” he said, “Are you excited about the first band class of the year?”

  “Yeah, I really want to play right now. Honestly, though, I’ve never really been that into playing with a group as large as school bands,” I told him, not bothering to hide the melancholy in my voice. I wasn’t in the mood to put on a fake smile that morning; my thoughts were too occupied for charades.

  “Well, I hope you like playing with our band. The room’s this way; follow me.” Josh started walking down the hallway. He was a few inches shorter than me with brown hair and eyes. Everyone smiled at him as we passed through the halls, and I got the feeling that I had been right about him being a likable person.

  The day before, he had explained who played what and told me that the previous year, the school’s jazz band had gone to New York City and won a competition. Josh had supposedly been playing the trombone for five years. “Do you have any interests other than the trombone?” I asked.

  “Of course,” he said. “I sometimes act in the plays at High Point Theater. And I like to read in my spare time. Keira got me into it a couple years ago. She bought me a book and insisted that I at least attempt to read and enjoy it. And I did. Why- are you only interested in playing the trumpet?”

  “No, I have many interests; one being reading, like you… You said that Keira got you interested in books?” I inquired. This could be the perfect opportunity to get to know some things about Keira before I talked to her for the first time.

  “Yeah, she absolutely loves to read. She was my friend who I pointed out to you yesterday in Spanish class, remember?”

  “Yes, I remember,” I smiled. How could I forget? “Is she in band as well?”

  “Keira doesn’t play an instrument, but she does like to sing, not around most people, but since we’ve been friends for so long, she sometimes sings around me. She’s got a good voice, but she’s never played any instrument. She plays basketball.” Yes, thank you. I already know that. Tell me something else about her, I thought impatiently. Just so you know, I’m not usually that ill-tempered, but I felt that the more information, the better. “And she plays soccer. She used to play volleyball, but didn’t this year.”

  “She sounds very athletic,” I noted.

  “Keira likes to do lots of different things; she’s always into something.” He took my expression into account and decided to go on. “She likes to look ahead too. I can’t tell you how many times she’s mapped out her plans for college to me. She wants to work with books.”

  “What types of books does she like?” I asked as we took our seats. I had hardly realized we had entered into what I could only guess was the band room. I knew I couldn’t ask many more questions on the subject, mainly because it would show that I was overly interested but also because the class was about to begin.

  “Fiction,” Josh said matter-of-factly, “she’s always been into books with fantasy characters in them. Why do you ask?”

  He was getting suspicious, and for good reason. “Oh, just curious I guess.”

  The bell rang, and Josh fell silent. That was alright; the class went by quickly because that’s usually what happens when I play, and because that whole time I kept repeating Josh’s last sentence in my head. She’s always been into books with fantasy characters in them. Huh. Maybe she’d like me.

  ♂ ♂ ♂ ♂ ♂

  Third period rolled around, and I headed off to Pre-Calculus Honors. When I got out of the stairwell, I saw Keira in front of me walking in the same direction I was. Her brown hair was pulled back in a high ponytail like it had been the day before, and I found her classic, naturally eloquent features still as striking as the last time I’d seen her face. When she walked into the Pre-Cal room, I said a silent, Thank You God. Dagan and Azra were sitting at one end of the room, waiting for me, but I sat in the desk beside Keira’s at the other end. The first half of the class, whenever she would glance at me, I returned it with one of my own. It became almost like a game for me. Each time I smiled at her, she held my gaze a little bit longer than the time before and would allow the ghost of a small grin to play across her lips. She didn’t seem like the type to be easily won over. I do love a good challenge. When our lunch bell rang in the middle of class, I walked out right behind her.

  Once we were inside the lunchroom, she turned around abruptly, facing me, and asked in a clear voice, “Would you like to sit with my friends and me?”

  I stood there for a moment. Her voice had stirred something in me that had lain dormant for so long I’d begun to doubt its existence. “Yes,” I managed. There was definitely something different about this mortal- it hadn’t just been my imagination.

  She led me to a table where Josh and a few others were. She sat across from him, and I took the empty seat besi
de her, still debating whether I should have pulled her chair out for her or not. Josh greeted me and told me the other students’ names. After he was finished, he introduced me- as is custom.

  Once the oddity of having me at their table sank in and faded, everyone resumed eating and talking normally. I didn’t say much. Instead, I sat there, focusing on how I could feel with every inch of me Keira’s presence so close by my side. I could hear her heart beating, smell her hair, and feel the warmth of her body without being closer than half a foot to her. I was wholly aware of her every move.

  We went the entire lunch time without speaking to each other. We simply sat together. Every now and then, Josh or someone else would ask me a question, and I would answer them, or Keira would add a comment to a conversation that her friends were having. I didn’t really want to talk to anyone except her, but I couldn’t find the words. So, for twenty minutes, I did little else but drink her in.

  When we returned to class, I changed seats and sat behind Keira. I guessed it was my turn to say something since she had asked me to lunch. So before the teacher began speaking again, I leaned forward and whispered, ‘“The things we wish for can be as elusive as a dream, and just as far from reality.’”

  She turned her head and smiled. “You’ve read Marianne Curley’s books.” It was more of a statement than a question. From her recognition and the expression on her face, I guessed I had correctly chosen a quote from a fantasy fiction novel we both enjoyed reading. “What do you wish for?” she asked.

  I was taken aback. What a question! Was she teasing me? I could not tell her all that I wished for at that exact moment, so I said, “To know what you wish for.” It was a cheap answer, but it was true; I did want to know her dreams and wishes. This way I could find out before giving my own answer.

  She thought for a minute. By now the bell had rung and the teacher was getting ready for the last half of class, but I was willing to talk for as long as Keira was. “Hhm,” she said, “I want to be happy, travel all over the world, have a job that I love, and live with no regrets…”

  These were all wonderful ambitions. I’d heard many of the plans that mortals have and they tended to be specific and greedy ones. Thankfully, Keira offset my cynicism. “I hope all of your wishes come true,” I breathed. Class began, and I sat back in my chair.

  Once third period was over, Keira asked me, “What do you have next?”

  “Government and Economics,” I said. She smiled so I assumed she had the same. “Would you mind showing me the way? This school is so large,” I said sarcastically, “I’m not sure if I could find the room on my own.”

  “That’s very true,” she played along. “I’d hate for you to get lost. Then I’d never have the chance to know you better.”

  I laughed. “What do you want to know? Ask me anything.”

  “Let’s start with your last name,” she said as we walked out of class together.

  My name… What’s in a name? I mused. But the answer to her question was not Shakespearian. The reasoning behind my chosen last name replayed in my mind. Oscar Wilde’s only novel had left an impression on me. I didn’t read it until 1892, but from that year on I often thought of Dorian Gray’s situation. The unlikely similarities between Wilde’s main character and my kind had intrigued me; the way Dorian never aged and never physically showed the repercussions of his sins. For a period of time after finishing the novel, I contemplated on how he could take pleasure in gazing upon his portrait knowing that it held his burden while he lived on with very little to say for a conscience. How could one not allow the transgressions of his past affect his present? How does a man live as shamelessly with himself as Dorian had? Was it the fact that others did not know of his sins that made him feel no remorse for the wrong he committed?

  Returning to my own present time, I answered Keira’s question, “It’s Gray, but my first name is Uriel.” Why did I tell her that? “However, all of the teachers have Luca written on their attendance sheets- I thought the nickname would go over better than Uriel.”

  “Uriel… much more fitting than Luca,” I heard her murmur quietly.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Huh? No, I was just wondering how you get Luca from Uriel. And Ralph from Zev, for that matter. Your cousin’s in one of my classes,” she explained.

  “Ah, our names. Well, I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” I said honestly but masked it with humor. She could never know what I was; it’s against the rules. Besides, I couldn’t bear the way any mortal would look at me if he or she knew. Being connected with my kind is never safe or easy for humans; that’s why I rarely ever made true friends with them.

  “Do you mind if I call you by your real name?” Keira asked looking up at me.

  How could I refuse? “No, I don’t mind at all.”

  “Uriel,” she made it sound so good, “that’s a distinctive name.”

  “I know it’s odd; that’s why most people call me Luca, but my family calls me Uriel.” By then, we had made it to the door of our next class. A lower classman was walking by as Keira and I lingered outside the doorway and the young boy tripped over his own feet. The papers and books he had been carrying were sent flying to land all over the hallway. Without a second’s hesitation, Keira bent down and began picking up the papers that had fallen closest to her. I took a moment to appreciate her kind act before stooping to help. I murmured to myself, “She’ll be a good influence on me.” After the boy regained all his things, he thanked us and scurried off to his class.

  In Government, there wasn’t much talking that we could get in or else the teacher, who happened to be the school’s football coach as well, would look like he was about to make us drop and give him twenty. Finally, when school was out, I walked Keira to her car. She drove a dark blue Jeep Wrangler. It appeared fairly old, but she looked good in it. Still, I had a strange feeling that something was missing in this picture.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said to me.

  I didn’t want to let her go. We had barely begun getting to know each other and I still hadn’t figured the situation out, but my brothers were waiting for me by our car. I can’t explain the feeling, other than it felt wrong to willingly be away from her side. “Tomorrow,” I promised myself and her. Then, I watched her drive away. I walked over to the Escalade, and after Odeda joined us, we headed for home.

  My brothers surprisingly allowed the drive to be fairly silent. I knew that I would get a lot of questions about Keira after they had all seen me with her for the last half of the day and then when I accompanied her to her Jeep. The building tension of unasked questions was not lost on Odeda, who would, at least once every three miles, ask what was going on. No one replied. I thought about pulling over and walking home just so that I would be able to put off the interrogation for an hour longer.

  The minute the door to our house was opened, Odeda, Zev, and Dagan were all talking. Eventually, they realized that I would not give an explanation while they bombarded me with their thoughts and opinions. Odeda was still clueless so Dagan decided to throw her a bone. “Uriel- Mr. Unattached- sat beside a girl in math and lunch. He stared at her during the rest of math, walked with her to their next class, and went with her to her car after school to see her off.” He sounded entirely disbelieving. Was it so hard to imagine that after thousands of years, I would find at least one girl who I was interested in?

  Odeda’s jaw dropped. She stayed like that for several moments before Azra lifted her chin so that she stopped gaping at me.

  “What?” I snapped.

  “She must be something really special,” Zev said for the rest of them. “It’s taken you over three and a half thousand years to show this much appeal for a girl.”

  “She’s unlike any other mortal I’ve met. Keira is special; she’s special to me,” I uttered. What Zev said was true, and now it felt like they were overstepping some boundary that had just been made around my personal feelings. I hadn’t really thought about wha
t it was exactly that I felt for Keira. That day, for the first time outside of battle, I had acted on instinct and without premeditated thought. Once the words were out, however, I knew they were true. I felt very strongly for this extraordinary mortal from the first time I saw her.

  The room was silent. Everyone was looking at me, and their emotions were written all over their faces: Zev was impressed and worried because Keira had won me over and that had never happened before; Odeda was still in shock; Dagan was curious to know more about Keira, like my attraction to her was some kind of puzzle to solve, and he had to win at everything; and Azra was, as always, thoughtful. I couldn’t take their silence any longer. I went outside without another word and busied myself with exercising. This is my usual response in situations that were unfamiliar, other than driving. Anything that I could do to keep moving and not think, I did. Physical exertion made my mind be at peace, so I only focused on my body and pushed myself to keep going.

  After four hours, I lay down on the grass and let my body rest. It was starting to get dark, and I needed to eat something. Our backyard light turned on, and as if he read my mind, Azra walked outside with a plate in one hand and a large drink in the other. He sat down at the glass table and waited for me to come to him.