“I don’t really have anything to say.”
That made him grin. “Your eyes tell me otherwise, so why don’t you be honest? You didn’t have a problem with doing so before.”
He was right about that. I shouldn’t have qualms about telling him I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep the bond. My racing heart had a way of keeping my mouth shut, afraid I wouldn’t like what I had to say.
There was a difference between being honest about what I thought and what I felt. One was a hell of a lot scarier.
He held me tighter. “Don’t shut me out, Lucy. Say your piece.”
I tilted my head up, enjoying the glint of the light that casted off the stubble on his jaw from the lantern in the corner. I missed the twitch that used to appear when I frustrated him. His eyes didn’t leave mine, the middle of them still silver but the outer ring darker than ever before.
“I won’t change who I am for you,” I stated.
“I would never ask you to.”
“I don’t trust that you actually like me. You are all in with the fae world. The bond is telling you that I’m made for you, but do you really feel that way? Attraction is one thing, but liking who I am is a whole different story. You hated me just mere days ago,” I added, disliking that I felt exposed by saying so.
Both of his hands moved to my face, cradling me gently as if I was the most precious thing in all the worlds to him. “Lucinda, listen to me. I will tell you this as many times as I need to, but I’d rather you believe it the first time. I never hated you.”
I raised a brow at him. That was a lie, and he knew it.
“Okay, I hated who I thought you were. Neva was right. I don’t believe you’ve ever been the soulless villain I saw burning farms all those years ago. The one who made me wonder if mine would be next. Those past feelings have nothing to do with the Lucinda I see before my eyes. The one I tried so hard to deny but couldn’t. Even without being bonded. I had no idea about the bond when I kissed you in that castle.”
His lips were only a breath away from me now. The intensity of his gaze and the deep baritone of his voice made my heart race wildly.
“I tried to hate you, because I knew you were right about so many things, but I wasn’t strong enough to do the things you had no problem taking care of. I couldn’t allow myself to admit I’d been wrong, and that was my biggest mistake.”
I couldn’t breathe right. Emotions clogged my throat. Speaking wasn’t something I was capable of. I didn’t know how to respond to Finn, but he seemed to understand that. Words weren’t necessary any longer when desires were so heightened by his confessions.
He kissed me softly. Our bodies aligned perfectly, and I found myself practically crawling onto him. Any doubts I’d had before were long gone as our bond flared to life, and this morning’s sex was not enough to satisfy me any longer.
With the pull of the bond urging me forward, I hated the little doubts that filtered in. The old me whose thoughts weren’t gone, but also weren’t loud enough to stop me from wanting what was now mine.
Finn was my mate. The confirmation caused a warmth in my stomach that spread north and south. I wanted him. Badly. Even if I couldn’t be his mate forever, I was going to enjoy the benefits of the bond for at least a little while.
Neither of us knew what tomorrow would bring. The tension in my chest loosened as I pressed myself against Finn, accepting the importance of letting him comfort me and wash away the doubts for the time being.
I wasn’t naïve enough to think sex would fix everything I’d been worried about earlier, but it was one hell of a way to start.
Chapter 6
We stayed in the hut for the rest of the night, spending hours getting to know each other for the first time without any kind of hostility. It wasn’t the kind of thing I’d normally do, but the bond was forcing me to consider Finn’s wants, and he seemed to need the conversation time as well as the sexual bits.
Finn had a heart much too pure for the world I normally lived in, but there was also an underlying sense of resentment toward the life he’d been living. To Finn, he’d done everything right, been the perfect son and brother. But, no matter how he tried to keep to the values his parents taught him, everything kept falling apart around him, beginning with their death nearly three years ago.
Just as I finished recreating and putting on my favorite jeans and shirt, Finn came back inside the hut carrying food, seeming a lot lighter than he had been the night before.
My stomach growled as the smells hit me. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a proper meal, so I was drooling over the fresh bread and salads he held.
“Compliments of Olida.” Finn hadn’t even set the tray down before I was grabbing a bowl and sitting on the bed.
Without saying a word to him, I devoured as much food as I could until I was groaning. “I hate to say it, but I think I love her.”
“Olida? I’ve only met her once before. Mosi usually came to me, and she never leaves the island,” Finn replied.
“Yeah, she told me about that yesterday. I couldn’t do it. Stay in the same place for decades.”
He inched closer, taking my empty dish and putting it on the dresser. “What else did the two of you talk about?”
I winked at him, pushing away to stand. “Wouldn’t you like to know. Come on. It’s time to go.”
The sun hadn’t risen, and we’d gotten no sleep, but I was still energized from whatever stasis I’d been in while I was healing from the battles the day before.
“How long was I asleep after you brought me here?” I asked after realizing I’d never questioned how much time had passed.
“About thirty-six hours. Why?”
“It’s been two days since we left the castle?” Gods, poor Ivy. I might not have felt bad that she might die in order for me to kill Zephyr, but to be tortured as I imagined she was… it wasn’t right. She was better off dead.
After Finn nodded in confirmation, I headed toward the door before remembering this entire island was shielded. “Can we teleport out of here?”
“Yeah, Mosi marked us with his magic so that we could come and go whenever we needed. You can consider this a safe haven for as long as we need it. Nobody will break through these barriers unless Mosi wants them to,” Finn replied.
The darkness within me and its voice may have disappeared, but the negative thoughts didn’t. I instantly was on guard that Mosi had “marked” us. What did that mean exactly? Could he track us? Force us to do things we didn’t want? Magic in older fae like him could be dangerous in the wrong hands. I wanted to trust Mosi, but knowing I hadn’t been asked first didn’t sit well with me.
Never mind that I was likely halfway to death when he’d done it.
Ignoring that bit of information for the time being, I knew we had to do two things before I could resume my vengeance on the king: find Maddox and get Neva back from Earth.
“Maddox’s farm first?” I asked once we were both outside the hut.
“Yeah. I have a feeling any trouble we might find will be waiting for us at mine. I’d rather not have to find him while we’re fighting off guards.”
“Or killing them,” I muttered under my breath while I spread my wings. Finn either didn’t hear me or pretended not to.
His wings extended as he grabbed my hand, sending a wave of magic through me at the contact. Tiny pinpricks of magic skittered along my skin, something that happened every time we touched but became more natural with each occurrence.
When we adjusted to the bond once again, Finn teleported us to Maddox’s farm. I’d never actually been there and had no clue where we were going. As we reappeared, I opened my mouth to ask a question, but the words were lost when the destruction around us practically smacked me in the face.
My hand covered my nose as the smell of sulfur and lingering smoke permeated my senses, making me gag. What had Zephyr been thinking? He was going to ruin his own kingdom. There would be nothing left for him to rule at this rate.
Maddox had mostly crops on his farm and a smaller section of trees around the perimeter, but I only knew that from the scorched branches and the dirt areas I could see from where we stood. Everything, including the house, was flattened.
“If he’s still here, Finn…” I didn’t want to state the obvious, but things weren’t looking good for Maddox.
“Mosi said we had to get him. That means he should still be alive,” Finn said, voice tight with anger.
He began walking, and I gingerly followed behind, watching every place I stepped. I had no idea if any fae had died here, possibly burned alive, and I had no desire to step on their bones. Hell, if there was anything left. My feet were warming from the still-sizzling ground, telling me that the flames had burned extraordinarily hot and there was a solid chance we wouldn’t find proof of anything by the time we were done.
Glancing around, there was nowhere for anyone to hide, but even still, I sent a wave of magic out just to be sure there was nothing to sense around us.
Finn seemed to know exactly where he was going, trudging along as he cast glances at certain areas, only pausing twice before we arrived at a boulder half a mile from where we started.
He pressed his hand to the rock, power pouring from him, and I was slammed in the chest with remorse—not mine, but Finn’s. Seeing this was hurting him more than I realized, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do about it. Did I hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay? No, I couldn’t do that. It would be a lie.
Things were going to get much worse.
Instead, I told myself it was best to stand behind him, waiting for him to tell me what he needed. Well, that was only until several minutes passed and I couldn’t handle remaining idle.
“So, should we go see if your house was burned down, too?” I asked, which was clearly the wrong thing to say given the glare I received as reply.
Finn didn’t reply. He pressed his palms against the rock once more before slamming his fist into it. As the boulder shattered, I was flung backward into the soot, landing on my ass with elbows down so my head didn’t hit the ground.
“What the—” I started to say until my fingers got tangled in hair. Holy shit, actual hair.
I scrambled up and backed into Finn as he growled. “What?”
Words were lost on me as I recognized the longer strands of brunette hair wrapped around remnants of twigs from the trees no longer standing. I pointed to where I’d just been, unable to see anything other than the tip of a scorched nose and hair.
Finn roared, a blast of agony escaping him unlike anything I’d ever felt. Maddox was his family, and he was dead. I’d never grieved anyone other than the home I once thought I wanted. I was frozen in position as Finn’s emotions choked me and I tried to figure out what to do with them.
He was digging into the ground, trying to get to Maddox, and glanced back at me with a fury in his eyes. “Care to help?”
I wasn’t sure if the anger was directed toward me or at the situation. Either way, it broke the stupor I was in, and I got back on the ground.
Minutes later, we had the top half of Maddox exposed, but he wasn’t moving. I reached a hand to Finn, but he flinched away. “He’s not dead,” he muttered before continuing to dig.
When we got to Maddox’s waist, I wrapped my arms under his and held my breath as I pulled up on the body. He was still lifeless.
“Finn, I’m sorry,” I said softly, truly meaning it for maybe the first time in my life.
“Are you, though? You thought of him as a traitor. You didn’t even like him.” His words were harsh and not untrue. It wasn’t that I’d hated the fae. Hell, he’d helped me on several occasions, but I did doubt his loyalties more than once.
Given we were supposed to be mates, Finn’s aggression toward me actually stung, but I didn’t dwell on it. His friend was dead, and pain made people do stupid shit sometimes. Like be an asshole. I would know.
Finn gave Maddox his attention again, and I did the same, surprised to find there were no burn marks on him anywhere other than his face. His wings were out and damaged, but still attached. Seeing that Finn was cleaning Maddox up, I tried to help by bending down to straighten one of the gossamer extensions.
Next, I used both hands to brush the knotted hair away from his face, my fingers brushing over his skin, taking extra care to be gentle and not upset Finn even further. Then, a jolt rolled through me that was beyond my control, and Maddox’s body jerked.
“What did you do to him?” Finn roared in my face.
I held my hands up, backing away. “I was just trying to help.”
“Well, stop.” His eyes were charcoal, and there was so much hatred there that I didn’t even recognize the fae I thought Finn was. Hurt welled inside me at his rejection, and I moved even further from them until I heard a groan that didn’t belong to either of us.
I stared down at Maddox’s body, the one I had been certain was a corpse just seconds before, only to find his arms and wings beginning to move.
Finn lifted him up, patting Maddox’s back and trying to coax words from his almost brother-in-law. “Come on. Ivy needs you to be okay. You have to be okay, Maddox.”
I no longer felt welcome, so I made myself scarce, choosing to watch from a distance. Maddox opened his eyes, a passion within them I recognized as something I held within me. They spoke in quiet voices, Maddox occasionally turning to glance at me, but still, nobody called me closer.
When I realized Maddox was okay enough, I began to focus on me. Sometime in the last twenty-four hours, I’d let a few of the bricks go from my wall that kept people away. Just a few layers, but it was a few too many. Even with my doubts, Finn’s ire toward me wasn’t something I wanted to let any further in.
Brick by brick, I put those layers back. I couldn’t jump right into this bond. I couldn’t let Finn have a hold on my emotions and actions. I needed my space like he needed his, and this was the only way I knew how to get it without feeling as if I was ripping my heart out.
Finn might have thought he could accept me, but he’d been lying to himself. We were two different fae and, regardless of what fate had in store for us, being bonded didn’t seem to be in anyone’s best interest.
Chapter 7
Maddox couldn’t walk on his own, but he was at least breathing, which was a hell of a lot more than I expected when we first found him. His throat had been crushed under the dirt and rock, so he could barely speak above a whisper, but none of that mattered much. I was still keeping my distance.
Finn hadn’t even glanced my way before announcing we were headed for his place. With my wall in place and my give-a-damn buried where it belonged, I grabbed on to Finn’s arm. I had forgotten to ask where the safe places were that we could teleport to.
When we arrived, we ended up in the bunker where Dave had made himself explode. Oh, how much I missed my relationship with Finn then. It was without real feelings and so much damn easier.
“I’m going to go take a look around outside. The two of you stay here,” Finn stated after he settled Maddox onto a blanket on the floor. There were no couches, so that was the next best place for him.
“Like hell I’m staying behind. If there are guards waiting for us to return, you’re going to need my help.” Finn had another thing coming if he thought he could boss me around.
“Lucinda, I don’t need this right now. I just want to grab the encrypted tablet I use for email communication, and then we will go. I don’t need you out there attracting attention.”
“Is that all you think I’m good at? Creating chaos and making things worse?” My eyes glared at him, fury exploding within me, matching what I was sensing from him, regardless of the mental wall I’d created.
“Lucinda, please.” His voice cracked, and I tossed my hands into the air.
“Whatever. Go do what you want while I’m here playing babysitter.”
He didn’t reply, and I didn’t look his way again, but I heard every stomp he
took up the stairs, counting each step until there were no more. Finn and I were already acting like the bitter married humans I’d seen on Earth, and we’d only been bonded for a day. This was just great.
I took a seat next to Maddox on the ground and gave him another once-over. His hair was matted, likely needing to be cut off. The burns were limited to his face, bubbled, charred, and hideous. “I’m sorry I thought you were a traitor, but I’m glad you’re not dead,” I said when he caught me staring.
Maddox choked, trying not to laugh. “Thanks, I think. I just need to see a healer so we can get Ivy back.” His voice was still hoarse and low, but the words at least made sense.
“So not to be rude, but how are you not dead? You were buried for two days, unless you’d done that to yourself later on.” If I couldn’t be outside, a little conversation was going to be necessary.
He tried to turn toward me but winced in pain before staying put. “Well, I think I was. Or, at least in some sort of stasis. I don’t know. I walked in a world with no feeling, no color, no sound, no nothing. I walked for what seemed like days, trying to find a way out. Then, my body felt like it was hit with electricity and the pain returned.”
I opened my mouth to ask more questions, but I heard a shout from above. I tensed, glancing at Maddox. “Go,” was all he said.
Even though Finn was being a dick, I wasn’t going to leave him out there alone. I charged for the stairs, unfurling my wings and keeping them close at my sides. The door was cracked from Finn’s earlier departure, and a sliver of light shone through. Using more force than intended, I pushed through and ignored the crack of the door hitting the building.
There were five guards fighting Finn all at the same time right outside the house. The rest of the farm was still smoldering from a recent fire, but I couldn’t focus on what was around me. My heart constricted as I watched two of the guards hold on to Finn’s wings and a third blast his chest with magic.
Dark Fae Freed (Broken Court Book 2) Page 5
