by Tinnean
“You know I’m a restless sleeper.”
He’d have to take Rush’s word for that. They’d never actually slept together.
Rush squeezed his hand, and then released it. “I’d better go.”
“Don’t you want to wake up with me in the morning?”
“I’d like nothing better, Tadder-my-Tad.”
Tad flushed, and his dick twitched, even though he’d just had a very satisfying orgasm. It always did when Rush added those two little words to his name.
“But I’d… it wouldn’t feel right if I ran into the family while coming out of your bedroom.”
“It’s not like you’re slipping around in the buff.”
Rush smiled fondly at him. Tad liked the smile—it was one of his favorites—but he wished there were more than fondness in it.
“Even if I am wearing clothes, everyone’ll know they’re the same clothes I wore at dinner, and they’ll know what we’ve been doing.”
“And that bothers you?”
Rush didn’t answer.
“Has anyone said anything?”
“No. But—”
“There’re no ‘buts’ about it. As long as I keep up my grades—” Rush had gotten his degree earlier in the spring, and none of his family had shown up, although everyone at the ranch and from Jackson Construction had been there to cheer him on. Now he had a master’s in biomechanical engineering that he didn’t seem to be in any hurry to apply. Which was a good thing, because Tad was afraid if he did, Rush would leave. “—and you don’t slack on the job, you know Daddy and JT are okay with us being together. It doesn’t matter to Becca, and Jan… well, she’s got other things on her mind.”
“Yes...” A line furrowed Rush’s brow.
“What is it?”
“I’m worried about her.”
“So am I, but she didn’t appreciate it when we tried to help.” Ever since that asshole football captain had broken up with her, just after Tad and Rush had hooked up, she’d been running wild, dating guys for a couple of weeks, then dumping them. JT said it was probably to avoid being dumped first again. “The most we can do is let her know we’re here for her. And don’t change the subject, Rushboy. Come back to bed with me. Please?” Tad tried the puppy dog eyes thing. He didn’t do it often, considering it hauling out the big guns, but as he hoped, Rush got that melty expression on his face and climbed back into bed with him.
“You just like me because you know I’ll let you do whatever you want with me.”
Tad was leaning toward Rush, but that stopped him in his tracks, seriously bothered. “Do you really think that’s how I feel about you?”
“I was teasing you, Tadder.” Rush gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “I know you like me.”
Tad opened his mouth to correct that—his feelings for Rush were way past liking—but then Rush slithered down his body, licked up one side of his dick and down the other before blowing softly across the tip, and began to go down on him, so slowly he thought he would lose his mind. In spite of his recent climax, his dick hardened, and all that came out was “Gah!”
By the time Rush finished blowing him and Tad had caught his breath and rolled him over onto his back and returned the favor, the subject of Rush returning to his room seemed to be moot.
He fell asleep cradling Rush in his arms. He loved that. It made him feel strong, like he could take on the world, protect Rush from anything.
An hour or so later, his subconscious registered the fact that his boyfriend was no longer cuddled up against him, and he reached for him to draw him close, only to find himself alone. Rush had gone back to his bedroom.
For a second, Tadder was tempted to go after him and spend the night in Rush’s bed. He didn’t mind if anyone saw him coming out of Rush’s room in the morning. Rush was his boyfriend, after all, and they’d kind of expect it.
But Rush would still be uncomfortable, and that was the last thing Tad wanted.
I need to come up with a solution to this. He sighed, and he pulled Rush’s pillow into his arms.
He’d just have to give it some thought.
***
“UM… JT?” TAD hovered in the doorway to the office. He’d spent the past couple of days giving the problem a lot of thought. In fact, he’d thought about little else, and when the solution finally dawned on him, he’d wondered why it had taken so long. After all, he was supposed to be a smart guy.
“Yes, Thaddeus?” JT smiled at him, not seeming to realize he had something really important, something life-altering on his mind. “If you’re looking for Rush, you just missed him. He’s gone to Office Depot to check out external hard drives.”
“Is that where he is? I noticed he wasn’t at his desk.” He tried for insouciance. From JT’s raised eyebrow, he wasn’t very successful. He’d been waiting for Rush to leave the office so he could have this conversation. “Actually I wasn’t looking for him. I… uh… I…. Would you have lunch with me?” he finished in a rush.
“Is everything all right?”
“Yeah. It’s just… um… I need to talk to you about something.”
JT’s expression became—pensive? Sad? Tad couldn’t be sure which—but then he smiled. “All right. Let me send this email and wash my hands, and I’ll be right with you.” He clicked on Send, closed the program, and went to the washroom right outside the office.
Tad fidgeted as he waited for the older man to return. He was sure JT would back him 100 percent. Well, pretty sure. It wasn’t like he was doing something stupid, but if JT thought he was, he’d just…. He gnawed his lower lip, unsure exactly what he would do.
JT rejoined him before he could tie his stomach in knots with worry. “Where did you want to go, Thaddeus?” Was it his imagination, or did JT seem a little… stressed?
Were things okay between him and Daddy? Oh, great. That gave him something else to worry about.
“Um… How about the Always Reddy Pub? Your friends run it, don’t they?” The pub was on Bull Street, and he’d taken Rush there a time or two. Originally they’d only served alcohol, but lately they’d decided to offer food as well and had hired a cute little chef to work the kitchen.
“That’s right. I’ve known Tim and Cris from back in the day.”
“Yes.” Tad took that to mean back before JT and Daddy got together. The Always Reddy Pub was more than gay friendly, considering Tim and Cris were both gay, and the bartenders and waiters were all eye candy. That was something he liked to tease Rush about when he saw him looking, but Daddy mightn’t be too thrilled about it. According to Daddy, to see JT was to want him. Tad swallowed a smile. He wouldn’t know about that—JT was like another dad to him.
“I didn’t know they opened for lunch.”
“Oh, yeah, though that’s something fairly recent.” It would be a good place to have this discussion. “They have a nice selection of bar food.”
“We’d better get a wiggle on then if we want to get a table.”
“Okay.” Tad didn’t think that would be a problem, since the quality of the Always Reddy’s food was still a well-kept secret, but if they stayed here much longer, he’d be blurting out his problem and the decision he’d come to right there.
JT grinned at him, but it was more just a stretching of his lips than anything else. What was going on? He and Daddy weren’t having problems, were they? Sometimes the fact that Daddy was a preacher’s son came out at the weirdest times.
Time for a little distraction. “Can we take your Harley?”
“I don’t think so. It’s on the windy side, and you know they’ve been predicting rain all morning.” A storm was making its way up the coast from Florida where it had done a bit of damage, and they were under a tropical storm watch.
“Aye, aye, matey.” Tadder held up his car keys. “I’ll drive.”
JT draped his arm over
Tad’s shoulders, and they went out to the circular drive at the front of the house where Tad had parked his Cougar. Daddy and JT had given him the used car when he’d graduated from Stuart High; it was in awesome condition, having literally belonged to a little old lady who only took it out on Sundays.
Tad got in and buckled up, knowing JT would pitch a fit if anyone who lived under his roof, including Daddy, didn’t do that. When Tad was first learning to drive, JT had offered to have his friend Dr. Hal arrange for him to sit in on an autopsy of people who hadn’t bothered to buckle up, or to view windshields that were shattered and decorated with blood and bits of brain matter. Tad had turned green and promised to always use his seatbelt. When it was Becca’s turn, she had swallowed and said, “Thanks, but that won’t be necessary, Daddy Tom.”
Once they were both buckled, Tad put his Cougar in gear and drove off at a pace that was sedate, at least for him. Whenever an adult was with him, he always watched his speedometer, came to a full stop at stop signs, and didn’t treat yellow lights like they were a signal to step on the gas to beat the light turning red.
Tad half-expected JT to say something about his request to talk to him, but instead, JT brought up an entirely different topic. “Josh wants to do something for y’all for helping with his move.”
Joshua Cooper, JT’s friend from his Florida days, was a big man, even taller than Daddy, and had blue eyes, although his hair was more red than blond. He’d come to town earlier in the spring, having broken up with his longtime partner, and had stayed at the ranch, licking his wounds and trying to think what his next move should be, until he’d decided that he liked Savannah and was going to stay, so he’d better find a house of his own.
Tad wasn’t the only one who had seen the way Josh had looked at JT when he didn’t think anyone else was watching. Daddy had come to the same conclusion—that what Josh really liked was living in the same city as JT.
Tad had overheard Daddy and JT one night when they’d thought everyone had gone to bed.
“He’s my friend, Jack. I never saw him as a lover.”
“But he’d like to be.”
“You have no reason to be jealous.”
“I’m not jealous!’
“No? What would you call it then?”
Daddy hadn’t answered.
“Just remember—I love you, Jack Jackson. I came home from Florida for you.”
“Yeah, you did, didn’t you?” There was almost a smug tone in Daddy’s voice.
The silence that followed was broken by the sound of kisses, and Tad, relieved that things were back to normal, had slipped away to find his own love.
His own love. He’d liked the way that sounded then, and he liked the way it sounded now.
“Josh doesn’t have to do that, JT. Bread on the water,” he said as the car idled at a light.
“Josh will insist on it anyway. Tell the others, and give it some thought, all right?”
“Sure. How is he?”
“He’s doing well. That house by the river is perfect for him, although it’s a little lonely, since he’s by himself. It was really good of you kids to make him feel so welcome while he stayed at the ranch.”
“Is he seeing anyone yet?”
“No.” JT sighed. “It’s going to take a while. That candy-assed punk he was living with really did a number on him.”
“I don’t understand how anyone could treat Josh like that. He’s such a nice man.”
JT reached across and patted Tad’s knee, a smile on his lips.
“What?”
“Rushboy is rubbing off on you.”
“What…? Oh.” He blushed. “You mean nice? That is his favorite word to describe someone he… he approves of.”
“I seem to remember it bothering you.”
“Well, yeah. I mean, nice guys finish last, right? Who wants to be called nice? Hot, yes. Hunky—you bet. But nice? No.” The corner of his mouth curled in a pleased grin. “At least, I didn’t think so.”
“And then you realized what he meant?”
“Oh, yeah.” Tad laughed softly. “It’s better than hot and hunky and everything else all rolled into one.”
“You like him a lot, don’t you, Thaddeus.”
“More than a lot, JT. I….” He bit his lip, then blurted out, “I love him.”
“I was wondering when you’d realize that.”
Tad didn’t have to look at him to know JT was smiling.
“You knew?” His voice rose to almost a squeak, something it hadn’t done since his early teens, and he turned his head to stare at him in stunned surprise.
“Watch the road, young man. I’d like to make it to Always Reddy and home in one piece, if you don’t mind.”
“Sorry.” Tad turned his attention back on the road. “But… you knew?” He was pleased the squeak had disappeared.
“Considering the way you look at him? Everyone knew, Thaddeus.”
“Oh.” Tad risked another glance at him. How could that be? He’d only figured it out for himself a few days ago. Was he the last to know? “Um… The thing is, I don’t know how Rush feels about me.”
“Excuse me? Considering the way he looks at you? Where are your eyes, Thaddeus? It’s obvious that he thinks the sun rises and sets on you.”
“You think?” The pleasure that swept over him was even greater than what he’d felt when he first realized that Rush was willing to become his boyfriend.
“I know. Hasn’t he… Ah. He hasn’t said so.”
“No.” Tad felt the color rise up in his cheeks. “Not in so many words.”
“Do you think he’s toying with your affections?”
Tad smiled in spite of himself. “That’s kind of old-fashioned, especially for you, JT.”
“Are you insinuating that I’ve led a less than sedate life?”
“You were a wild man—I’ve heard the stories.” After a couple of beers, Josh would start talking about their days in Tallahassee. Daddy would listen, his grin getting tighter and tighter until finally he’d excuse himself, saying he had to get up early the next morning for work, and he’d drag JT off to bed with him.
He and Rush had talked about it once.
“Mr. Jack is jealous.”
“That can’t be right, Rushboy. JT loves Daddy.”
“Yes, he does.”
“Then why should Daddy be jealous?”
“JT’s known a lot of men, Tadder-my-Tad. Maybe Mr. Jack is afraid he’ll get bored with him and leave.”
“Never!” It hadn’t bothered Tad much when Daddy and Momma split up, in fact, both he and Becca had been kind of relieved until they realized Momma was going to move them into Grandpa Eleazar’s house, but if JT left…. He scowled, not liking that train of thought at all.
“You’re right.” Rush’s smile seemed sad, but then he stroked Tad’s cheek and kissed him, and Tad figured he must be mistaken.
“I have been sadly maligned!” JT exclaimed now, and they both laughed. “Seriously, Thaddeus, do you have any doubt of Rush’s feelings for you?”
“I don’t. Well, not much, anyway. It just… it feels like he’s holding a part of himself back.”
“Maybe he’s afraid you’re going to hurt him?”
“But why? I’ve never done anything to make him think I would.”
“I think it might be what he expects. Consider his family.” JT had nearly gone postal when he’d learned that Rush hadn’t found out about his oldest brother’s engagement until after the fact, and even more so when none of the Dalton clan had come to see Rush receive his hood. “If you want, we’ll all turn up at his wedding, looking gayer than Liberace!” he’d growled.
“I know, but….” Tad sighed. “I just wish he’d spend the night in my bed instead going back to his own room.”
“You’ve asked him to
?”
“Oh, yeah. More times than I can count. And before you ask, yes, he knows you and Daddy approve. Do you… um… do you have any idea what’s really going on with him, JT? You and he work together all the time. Has he said anything?”
“Waxing lyrical about the love of his life, you mean?” JT patted Tadder’s knee again when he blushed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t tease. From what Rush has let slip when he talks about you, Thaddeus, I’d say he cares very deeply for you.”
Tad felt his heart turn over in joy. “Do you—”
“Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Yes.”
“Ah.” The relief in that one syllable surprised Tad.
“Why? What did you think I wanted to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe about moving out and into a place of your own?”
“Leave the ranch? Why would I want to do that?”
“I can’t imagine. And we’re here at Always Reddy. See if you can find a parking spot. We’ll continue this discussion over lunch.”
“Okay.”
There was a tiny parking lot around back, and after Tad backed into a spot, they entered the pub. A young man dressed as an old-time waiter, with garters on his sleeves and a long white apron tied around his waist, nodded when he spotted them.
“Are you here for lunch?”
“Yes.”
“There’s a booth by the front window that’s free. I’ll be right there to take your orders.”
By mutual agreement they waited until after their orders arrived—Cokes for both of them, a bacon double cheeseburger with three-cheese fries for Tad, and a cheeseburger with steak fries for JT.
After a few bites, Tad resumed the conversation. “Do you think Rush cares enough to… to say yes if I asked him to marry me?”
JT paused with the cheeseburger halfway to his mouth. “You want to get married?”
He nodded. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it. I want to live with Rush as man and… um… man.”
JT put his cheeseburger down and blotted his lips with his paper napkin. “It wouldn’t be legal, you know.”
“I know, but it wouldn’t matter. You know what Rush is like. If he says yes, he’ll never break those vows.”
