“Kacey said you’re dynamite in the sack.” She bites her lip, running her hand down my chest. “I was wondering if you’d show me. Give me the best orgasm of my life.” She reaches down to the waistband of my jeans. I step back, hoping Lillia didn’t witness any of this, or at least saw that I rejected her.
“First of all, I have never slept with Kacey. Second, and this is a doozy, touch me again and I will tell the whole university that you slept with Professor Frank for an A grade so Daddy didn’t cancel your precious credit card.”
She gasps and runs away. Her sleeping with Professor Frank is as true as I’m standing in this room. I caught them. Professor Frank begged me not to report it; he even offered me money to keep me quiet. I refused, but it’s good to know I have something on him if I need it.
I look to where Lillia was and see that she’s gone. Panic surges through me as I look around. What if she saw that display before I pushed her off? Shit! I run a hand through my hair and walk towards the kitchen area, where there’s a makeshift bar. What I see has my blood boiling. Jared is chatting to Lillia, handing her a drink. I’m quicker than a flash and grab the drink before Lillia takes it, spilling it all over her dress.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Tristan?”
Everyone stops what they’re doing and stares at us. I stare Jared down; he has a smug look on his face.
“Yeah, Hunt. What the hell’s wrong with you? I was just giving Lillia a drink. She looked like she could use one.”
“Do not even look at her,” I grind out, standing in front of her, blocking his view. White hot anger courses through me.
“Why? She’s beautiful.” He looks at me then winks at her. “You really do look beautiful, Lillia.”
“Thanks,” Lillia answers politely. “Tristan, kindly move so I can get a drink.” The ice in her voice sends chills down my spine. I’ve never heard so much coldness from her, not even about Darcy or Kacey. I turn around. She’s standing with her arms folded, glaring at me with a pointed look.
“Lillia, can I talk to you for a second?” I swallow.
“No.”
I blanch, shocked again at the coldness in her voice. “Please. I really need to talk to you.”
“I said no, Tristan.” Her voice is cold as ice, but her eyes tell me a different story.
“Five minutes. That’s all I’m asking. Then I’ll leave.”
“You heard the lady. She said no.” Jared’s voice grates on my last nerve.
“Butt out, Jared,” I growl, through gritted teeth.
“She clearly doesn’t want to talk to you. Leave the girl alone and find some other chick to screw!”
That’s it. I turn and lay a punch on his jaw.
“Tristan!” Lillia screams, running to Jared’s aid. She kneels down beside him, inspecting the cut on his lip.
Lennon runs through, taking in the scene. “Ah hell.” He sighs.
“Lennon, get his ass out of here!” Lillia growls, her once warm eyes now matching the coldness in her voice.
“Are you fucking serious?” I scoff, not believing that she’s taking his side over mine.
“Lennon.” She looks past me, glaring at her brother.
“Come on, man. Let’s get you out of here.” He pulls at my arm, but I can’t tear my eyes away from the scene in front of me. Lillia kneeling, tending to Jared Walter. He looks up at me while Lillia accepts a towel of ice, and smirks at me. Lennon has loosened his grip on my arm. I charge at Jared but I’m stopped by Lillia blocking my way.
“Go!”
“Lilly. I need to talk to you. Please.”
“No. Just go, Tristan.” When I don’t move, Lennon and Aiden pull my arms and drag me towards the door, leaving Lillia with Jared.
“What the hell was that, Tris?” Lennon shoves my shoulder. “Is that the way you think you’ll gain my sister's attention? Huh?” He shoves me again. “You’re sorely mistaken if you think acting like a fucking jealous brute will make her see how you really feel about her.”
“Get out of my face.”
“Why? What you gonna do?”
My fists clench and unclench, boiling blood rushing through my veins, threatening to bubble over.
“I really don’t want to hit you, Lennon. Get out of my face right now.” My voice is low and dangerous, and I look him in the eyes so he can see I’m deadly serious.
“Whatever, Tristan. Maybe my sister is better off without you.” He throws his hands up, walking backwards. “I’m done trying to support you and my sister getting together.” He turns his back on me and walks back into the house. At least I know he’ll look out for Lillia in there.
“Tristan, let's go home.” Aiden sighs. I turn my attention back to the house and I can see Lillia with Jared, talking, still cleaning him up. As if she can feel my eyes on her, she glances up and gives me the most disgusted look I have ever received. “Tristan, Lennon is in there. He won’t let anything happen to her.” I turn to look at my brother, and I know he’s right. Lennon would die before he let anything happen to his sister. I give a curt nod and start walking.
“Drinking won’t solve anything, Tris.” Aiden tidies up the living area that’s trashed, full of beer bottles and an empty bottle of bourbon I got for my twenty-first birthday from my mom. My mom. What a waste of air she is. That’s a story for another time.
After arriving home from the party where I punched Jared in the mouth, I started a party of my own. A two-week long party. Lennon has been staying at the girls’ apartment. Lillia moved out of the dorms and into Avery’s place. Didn’t feel safe there, apparently. Aiden has been trying to get me to get my act together, even threatening to call our father, but it didn’t work. I can’t deal with the pain and the only way to numb it is to get off my face drunk.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m not an angel like you,” I snap, groaning and standing up to head towards my bathroom.
“You’re an idiot, Tristan.”
“Yeah, yeah. Change the record, Aid.” I wave him off, entering the bathroom. I look up into the mirror; I don’t like what I see. Bags under my eyes, and two-week old stubble on my jaw. “You look like shit, Tristan,” I whisper to myself. The door of the bathroom swings open. I’m about to tell Aiden to fuck off until I see who’s standing there.
“When your brother called me and told me you had gone off the rails, I didn’t believe him.”
“Dad?”
“Yes. Now, you want to tell me what the hell has gotten into you?” My dad is the most ruthless lawyer in Boston. Emmett Hunt, ruthless in law and ruthless in life.
“Not now, Dad.” I sigh, walking past him in search of my snitch of a brother.
“Tristan Ryder Hunt, stop where you are right now.” Dad’s voice bounces off the walls, stopping me dead. He walks in front of me. “This isn’t you, Tristan. Talk to me.” His voice softens. He stands before me in his expensive designer suit, his brown hair gelled back, with specks of gray peppered around. His blue eyes are full of concern.
“What? Scared I’m turning into Mom?”
His nose flares and his eyes dilate to almost black. “Tristan, don’t you dare compare yourself to her. You’re nothing like her.” He jabs his finger into my chest. “Do you hear me?”
“You’re wrong, Dad. I’m exactly like her. I hurt people and destroy everything I touch.” I flop back onto the sofa.
“You don’t, Tristan. You’re just passionate about things. Son, I know what your mother put you through when we divorced. What I put you through. But you can’t let what happened between your mother and me be the basis of every relationship you have.” He sits opposite me on the coffee table. “Son, if you love Lillia as much as Aiden and Lennon have said you do then go for it. She’s a lovely girl.”
“Don’t you see that’s exactly why I can’t have Lillia?” I swallow. “Because she’s too pure. She has a light inside her that is dimming the more time she spends with me. I can’t be the one to snuff out that light.”
“Yo
u don’t know until you try. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel.”
“You sound like Aiden and Lennon.” I sigh, leaning my head back and looking at the ceiling.
“Well, they’re right. Take it from an old man. Don’t miss these opportunities to be happy, son. Don’t let a good girl like Lillia slip through your fingers.” He pats my knee. His voice is forlorn, like he’s speaking from experience. I look at him, his eyes cast down and hands steepled in front of him. He takes a deep breath.
“Dad?”
“Her name was Sally Stewart.” A smile I have never seen before spreads across his face. “She was beautiful. Long red hair, and the brightest green eyes I had ever seen. She had a smile that could brighten up the whole room. I was so nervous around her, my heart hammered against my chest so hard I’m surprised the hippies didn’t start having a singalong to the beat of it.” I chuckle. “She gave me all the signs that she was interested, so I asked her out on a date. When the day came to pick her up, I had everything from a reservation at the best restaurant in town, followed by a movie at the theater. I had planned it right down to kissing her goodnight on her doorstep. Or in this case, in front of her dorm room. Anyway, I picked her up and we hit it off. We were together for almost three years before it all went to shit.” He looks down again.
“What happened?”
“Your mother happened.” He sneers. “I hate bad mouthing your mother to you but she was a vindictive bitch back then; maybe worse than she is right now.” My eyes widen slightly. Never have I heard Dad talk about Mom like this. Even when he really wanted to, he refrained. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Nothing I don’t know already, Dad. She’s a selfish bitch.”
“She’s still your mother, Tristan, and as true as that statement is, I won’t have you talking about her like that.”
I nod. “Sorry, Dad.”
“It’s fine; just don’t let me hear you talking about her like that again.” I nod my head in agreement. “She, your mother, was a receptionist at the law firm I started interning at. You have to understand, I was young and thought with what’s in my pants. She had a sweet and innocent look about her.” He lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head. “One night, I had to work late. I called Sally and told her to get herself some dinner and I’d grab something from the deli around the corner. Little did I know that Darlene Duncan was still lurking around. She introduced herself and offered to go get me food and a coffee. I just thought if she went then I could stay and get what I needed to get done faster then I could go home to Sally before she went to sleep.” His eyes well up. “I did an unthinkable thing that night. I slept with your mother.” He looks ashamed of himself. “I planned to go home and tell Sally everything, but your mom begged me not to because it would make her look bad for sleeping with an intern. Even back then she was a gold digger. I kept my mouth shut and moved departments. I only saw your mother in passing. Fast forward a year or two; Grandpa gave me money to start up my own law firm. I called him crazy. I was still new to the whole court scene. He told me I could do anything I put my mind to, and he would help whenever he could.” He takes a deep breath. “So, I started up my own company with Rodger, one of my best friends in college. Your mother was his receptionist. I got drunk at an office party. She cornered me, started kissing me. I tried to push her off but I was young and stupid. We slept together again. Only this time, I couldn’t keep quiet.” He scrubs his face with his hands and looks at me. “She was pregnant with you and Aiden. I ended my relationship with Sally. Broke her heart and my own.”
“Why? I’m sure if she loved you enough she would have forgiven you, right?”
“She would have. Eventually. But I couldn’t deal with the guilt eating away at me, and your mother would have come between us at some point. I had to do the right thing, much to Grandma and Grandpa’s dismay. I married your mother two months later. She never wanted to settle down but her mother and father were strict Catholics; they didn’t want their daughter an unwed mother, to twins, no less. I’m not stupid. The nights I was left at home with you two boys, I know she was out sleeping around. I put up with it for sixteen years; I couldn’t stand what our constant fighting was doing to you boys.”He looks down. “It’s had a lasting effect on you, it seems.”
“Dad, you aren’t to blame.” I hate that he blames himself for this, for me being afraid to admit my feelings and bare all to Lillia. “Mom used to tell us that children should be seen and not heard. When you were away to conferences, she used to tell us to stay in our rooms and keep the noise down or she would send us to Grandma Duncan’s to stay. She never made me feel wanted. I have a feeling it might have something to do with me looking so much like you. If anyone’s to blame for my lack of communication and my anger issues, it’s her.”
“Son, I had no idea she made you feel like that. If I had, I would have kicked her ass out a long time ago.”
“It’s done now. Can’t change the past.” I shrug. “Did you ever think about trying to find Sally?” I turn the tables on him.
“Every day. I think about going to find her and tell her what a tool I’ve been.”
“What stopped you?”
“She might have a husband. Kids. I can’t be responsible for breaking up a family, Tristan. She probably hates my guts anyway. There’s no point in even entertaining the idea that she’s never married, or she’s just sitting at home waiting for me. She was too beautiful to waste her life like that.” He shakes his head. “Tristan, try to make Lillia see that you truly love her and are willing to do anything to keep her by your side.” He stands, buttoning his jacket up. I stand up with him. “I’ve carried around the guilt and hurt for over twenty years. I don’t want you to do the same.” He pulls me into a hug. “You deserve the happiness I missed out on,” he whispers in my ear, making me almost lose my shit.
“Is it safe to come in? Have you killed each other?” Aiden’s voice cuts through the moment my Dad and I were in.
“Get over here, Aiden.” Dad opens his arm and Aiden joins in our hug. “I love you boys.” He kisses our heads like he used to when we were kids.
“You’re not dying are you, Pops?” Aiden narrows his eyes.
“Not for a long time. You’re stuck with me for a few more years.” He ruffles his hair, causing Aiden to slap his hand away. He’s such a girl.
“Think about what I said, Tristan.” He shakes my hand then Aiden’s. “I’ll see you boys in a couple of months for the holidays.” He smiles and waves at us.
“You mad?” Aiden asks cautiously.
“Nah.” I sigh, taking some painkillers for my impending hangover. “It was actually a help.”
“Really? I thought for sure I would walk in on a bloodbath. I even looked up on the internet on how to get bloodstains out of carpets and surfaces.”
I spit my water out. “Aiden, I hope you deleted your internet history.” I chuckle, wiping my chin.
“It’s cool; I was on Lillia’s laptop.” When he mentions Lillia’s name, my mouth dries up.
“How is she?” I look down.
“She wasn’t in when I went over.” He doesn’t look me in the eye. He’s hiding something from me.
“Aiden, look at me.” I narrow my eyes on him.
He looks up and sighs. “Avery said she didn’t come home last night.”
I stumble back, my hand covering my mouth. I ball my hand into a fist and punch the refrigerator.
I’ve lost her. She’s moved on. She’s moved on with Jared Walter.
I wake up, the morning sun burning my eyes. I get a sense of déjà vu. An arm snakes around my waist and a kiss lands on my forehead. “Not again.” I groan.
“Wake up, sleepy head.” A singsong voice penetrates my ears. Opening one eye, I see Avery lying next to me and Lennon standing smirking at me.
I shoot up, which I really shouldn’t have done. The room starts spinning.
“Whoa there. Lie back down. Don’t want you puking everywhere
.” Lennon chuckles. “Again.” He raises an eyebrow at me.
“Do I smell coffee?” I sniff. Avery giggles and hands me a steaming cup of goodness from the night stand.
“Told you she’d think you were someone else,” Lennon jokes.
It’s been two weeks since Tristan went apeshit at Derek’s party, nearly knocking Jared out. I’ve never been so mad at anyone in my life. It felt like I wasn’t allowed to be with anyone but him. I decided then that I would play him at his own game. Maybe it was a dangerous game to be playing given the anger issues Tristan clearly has, but he has to see that I won’t take the games he’s been playing for the past five years anymore. Yes, it’s taken me all this time to actually do something about it, but you know what? I’m tired. So tired of crying the same tears over and over. It’s time I live for me and think of myself for once.
“Well, Tristan must have really girly arms.” My eyes snap up to look at Avery, whose eyes squeeze shut. “Shit. I didn’t mean that.”
I shrug it off. “I have nothing to compare it to.”
Lennon and Avery look at each other, perplexed. I look between them, wondering what the hell is going on.
“You don’t know what you did? Or what’s going around campus?” Avery asks, glancing at Lennon.
“What are you talking about?” My brows crease.
“You slept with Jared Walter.”
I throw the covers off me and sprint to the bathroom. Lifting up the lid of the toilet, I empty the contents of my stomach.
“Lils?” Lennon holds my hair and rubs my back.
“How could I be so stupid?” Tears sting the backs of my eyes as I dry heave. “How could I get myself into such a state? So drunk that I didn’t know what I was doing?” I sniff and sit with my back against the sink. “I’m not you.”
“Gee, thanks. I love you too.” He laughs.
She Loves Me. He Loves Me Not. Page 6
