After a beat of silence, I’m about to start laying into her about how she’s letting go of one of the best men she will ever meet when she looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
“Are you crazy?” She stands and starts to pace. “No. No second thoughts.” She shakes her head vigorously and stops, looks up, then looks me in the eye. “Lennon is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and to be his wife?” A tear spills from her eye. “Well, it will make me the happiest woman alive.” Grabbing my hand again, she sits next to me. “He’s so gentle and loving and kind and…” She lets out a content sigh. “He loves me for me and not what I can give him. He loves me. I’ve never had that before, a man loving me for me and who would do anything for me. You know?” She beams the biggest, brightest smile at me. “You know how that feels, right?”
Truth is, I thought I had that with Tristan, but that turned out to be the biggest load of crap ever. He used me for all he could and broke me time and time again until I couldn’t take anymore and my heart was smashed into nothing.
“No, I don’t know how that feels. But just looking at you and Lennon and how happy you two are, I can’t wait to have that kind of love.” I offer her a small smile.
Her brown eyes look at me with sadness and sympathy. “I believe you will get it when you least expect it.”
“Let’s not get all Debbie Downer on your last night of freedom.” I force a smile on my face.
“Why do people say that?” Avery stands to finish putting her make-up on. “Last night of freedom, when you clearly aren’t going to go and sleep with everything that has a heartbeat the night before getting married, are you?”
I giggle. “Some might.”
“I swear, if Lennon even thinks of sleeping with someone tonight I will rip off his balls and feed them to him for dinner.”
“Believe me, I don’t think my brother is capable of cheating.” I giggle again.
“No, I don’t believe he is either.” She smacks her lips together after applying more lip gloss, and fluffs her hair. She looks stunning; she’s wearing a tight pink bodycon short dress, showing off her long tanned legs. Black strappy heels on her feet add another five inches on her. Inches she doesn’t even need. Me, on the other hand? I’m wearing a tight, short, backless, nude-colored dress with gold sequins on the skirt from the hips down to the hem. I have gold five-inch heels on my feet. My hair is down in soft waves, scooped to the right side, exposing my neck.
Tonight, I’ll get drunk and forget that I have to spend the whole day with Tristan tomorrow.
As the night wears on, I can feel myself getting drunk and loosening up.
“I fucking love you, Avery!” I slur, yelling above the thumping music as we dance our asses off.
“I love you too. I can’t wait to be your sister!” She squeals. We’re the last ones standing. Her mom, my mom, Abbie, and Darcy have long since bailed on us. Cora left with a guy about ten minutes ago. At least someone is getting some tonight.
Darcy and I have spent a lot of time together since I moved to New York. She’s nothing like she was back in high school, and to be honest, I’m kind of still on edge, waiting on something horrible to happen and I’ll appear on candid TV. I know she has changed, I can see it, I just can’t get over all the things she did to me back then. She knows this; we had a long talk about it and she understands that it will take me time to fully trust her.
I motion to Avery, signaling that I need another drink, and we make our way to the bar.
While we’re waiting, I feel a hand brush my ass and hot breath on my neck. “Did you sit on a pile of sugar?” the deep, husky voice slurs into my ear. “‘Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.” He brushes his lips against the shell of my ear.
Turning slightly, I’m met with hooded green eyes. “Do those lines really work?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Play your cards right and we can find out.” He leans in for a kiss but something behind me stops him abruptly. Turning, I’m met with angry narrowed blue eyes. Eyes I haven’t seen for over a year, and they still make my heart skip a beat. “Hey, man. I don’t want trouble.” The guy holds his hands up and walks backwards.
“Baby,” Avery screams happily, throwing her arms around Lennon’s neck and kissing him like he’s her life support.
“What can I get you, gorgeous?” the bartender who has been serving us all night asks.
“Four Jagerbombs and an Instant Orgasm.”
“I get off at three.” He winks and goes to make my drinks.
Once he places the drinks on the counter, I drink one Jagerbomb after the other and down my cocktail.
“Woah.” Lennon chuckles. “Take it easy, sis. Don’t want you puking all over my beautiful bride tomorrow.”
“Another one, please,” I ask the bartender when he comes back.
“I think you’ve had enough,” Luke says. I turn to see him staring at me.
I try to swallow but my throat is drier than a desert right now. I can feel Tristan’s eyes on me, burning my skin.
“I’m gonna go.” I turn to Avery.
“We were having so much fun though.” She pouts.
“Well, now the guys are here, they ruined it.” I narrow my eyes on Lennon.
“You don’t have to leave because of us.” Lennon chuckles. “Stay for me.” He bats his eyes.
“Yeah, one last dance then we’ll leave,” Avery begs.
“Fine.” I sigh, and Avery pulls me towards the dance floor.
“The atmosphere just took a nose dive.” She leans in, shouting in my ear. I look over to where the guys are standing. Tristan hasn’t taken his eyes off me. Just the sight of him has me almost melting into a puddle on the floor as the words he wrote come back to me. I wish that we were starting this new chapter in our lives together. Tears well in my eyes.
“I’m sorry. I need to get out of here.” I run from the dancefloor and out to the warm Boston air. I take a big gulp of air, feeling a hand on my shoulder, making me jump. Turning, I see the man I was running from staring back at me.
“Let me take you home, Lilly,” he says quietly. My heart pounds so hard against my ribs I fear it might jump out of my chest.
“No. I’ll get home myself.” I finally find my voice.
“Lillia, please.”
“No. Leave me alone, Tristan. I can’t deal with this right now.” Turning, I hail a cab and get the hell out of there.
“Oh my.” I gasp, looking at my best friend and soon to be sister-in-law standing before me in the most beautiful dress I have ever seen. My vision clouds over. I never thought I would see this day; my whore of a brother getting married. “You look like a princess.”
She beams at me and twirls, making the dress fan out. I was devastated that I missed out on the dress shopping, but everything was still too raw. “This will be you someday, Lillia.” She takes my hands in hers and flashes me a bright smile. “I have a gift for you.”
“You didn’t have to get me anything. Having you as an official sister is all I need,” I protest, causing her to roll her eyes at me. She hands me a small gift bag. I reach into it and pull out a black square velvet box.
“It’s tradition to get the wedding party a gift. Lennon bought the guys stuff. I buy my bridesmaids a gift. I knew what I was going to get.”
Opening the box, tears well in my eyes again. A white gold charm bracelet with three charms on it. “A unicorn to signify your love of everything magical, an anchor because you anchor all of us when we feel down, or when we get ahead of ourselves, you ground us and make us see what’s really important in life without making us feel guilty. The last one is a book, for obvious reasons.” I run my finger over the charms. A tear drips, hitting the box.
“I love it. Thank you.” I squeeze her tightly. She makes quick work of putting the bracelet on me. A knock at the door brings a huge smile to my face. “Are you ready to live the rest of your life with my idiot brother?”
“As long as I have you there to tag team
him. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” We giggle. I pass her her bouquet of pink and white roses and open the door for her. Her dad’s eyes almost fall out of his head.
“Wow, you look beautiful, babycakes.” He air kisses her cheeks, careful not to mess up her make-up. I grab my own smaller bouquet of the same arrangement as Avery’s. “You look stunning too, Lillia.” He kisses my cheek.
“You look very handsome too.” I smile up at him. “I’ll see you out there.”
Taking my position to make my way down the aisle, I feel eyes on me. Duh! You’re at a wedding, idiot. Lifting my gaze, I connect with blue eyes opposite me. My heart beats faster than Usain Bolt runs a race. I feel like my skin is on fire as he stares at me.
“Go.” The wedding planner pushes me a little too harshly.
Bitch.
I turn and glare at her and she makes a motion with her hands, shooing me out. I turn to see Tristan stand, looking down at me. I was hoping I would avoid him most of the night. No chance of that happening; he’s Lennon’s best man. He turns and holds out his arm. I reluctantly slide my arm in, linking it with his. My hand on his forearm, all the emotions come back. I keep my eyes ahead, trying to block out that it’s Tristan, the man I had once imagined walking down the aisle with to be married.
Why couldn’t Lennon have picked Luke to be his best man? A frustrated groan slips out of my mouth. Tristan tenses under my hand. I look to my left and see Josh winking at me and nodding to my cousin, who’s sitting next to him. I let out a giggle and shake my head when he blows me a kiss. Tristan clears his throat. I realize we’ve stopped. I cross his path and take my place to wait for Avery, under the scorching gaze of Tristan. Thankfully, Josh is distracting me by making faces. I catch my mom’s eyes. She silently scolds me to face the front. I’m back in church on a Sunday when Lennon and I used to get into trouble for making noise or for giggling too loudly while the Reverend was talking. I hear Lennon chuckle. I look at him; he’s remembering the same as me. My mom coughs and scolds him too. Not even on your wedding day are you safe from a scolding. I poke my tongue out at him. My eyes flit to Tristan’s scorching blue orbs. The music changes, cutting through the tension growing between us.
I watch Lennon. I always love watching the groom. The love pouring out from him makes my heart swell. His hand flies up to his mouth as it hangs open in awe, and a sob escapes him. Tears fall from my eyes watching his reaction to seeing Avery for the first time. I feel a tap on my shoulder. Josh hands me a tissue. I mouth a thank you and turn back to see Avery standing in front of us.
The ceremony was quick and simple. The speeches were just Luke, Tristan, and Dad tearing Lennon a new one. Now, the real party begins.
“He can’t keep his eyes off you,” Josh whispers in my ear, and hands me my drink.
“Who?” I play dumb, looking around the room. I see him. I feel his gaze on me. Felt the burn of his eyes on my skin since we left the church.
“Really? You really don’t know about a tall, dirty blond-haired, hot as hell, sex on legs, probably kink-loving, brooding, blue-eyed man that’s been eye-fucking you all night?”
“Nope, I have no idea who you’re talking about,” I lie, and drain my champagne glass. I grab another from a passing waitress. “Although, I could really do with a release right now, and not from my good friend Rabbi.”
He spits his drink out, spraying all over the table. “You seriously called your vibrator Rabbi?” He wipes his chin with a napkin.
“What’s wrong with that?” I raise an eyebrow.
“Most women name their vibrators after a guy they’re crushing on or something. Not you.” He shakes his head, amused. “You name it after a Scottish poet.”
“Five points to Hufflepuff! You knew who I was referring to.” I pat his head, patronizing him. He moves his head away, swatting my hand.
“Of course I know! I may work with numbers but I read, Slip. I’m not stupid.” He chuckles. “I had to listen to you practice one of his poems often enough.” I giggle at his cringing face. He hated having to sit and listen to me for hours on end until I perfected it. He would rather be watching the movie I had promised we’d go see. We always missed the showing because of me. This weekend, I’m making it my mission to watch all those missed movies with him.
“And I loved you for it.” I place my hand on his cheek and smile up at him.
“His loss is another man’s gain, Lil. If he can’t see what’s in front of him then he doesn’t deserve you.” He leans down and kisses my cheek.
Seeing Lillia last night at the rehearsal then again at the club, the way she walked around with that fake as shit smile permanently on her face, broke my heart. I did that. I made her lose that sparkle, that light that shined so bright it could rival the sun.
“Tristan, dance with me,” said Erin, the girl I brought with me. She’s my secretary. As soon as Lennon told me Lillia was bringing a date, I asked her. She was happy to accept as long as there was no funny business. She doesn’t like me like that. I told her there wouldn’t be a problem sticking to that stipulation. If I can’t have Lillia, I don’t want anyone else.
“Erin, I don’t want to dance.” She stands with her hands on her hips, tapping her right foot. I take a pull of my beer, still looking over at Lillia, who’s laughing at that douchebag she came with. He probably showed her his dick and she’s laughing because it’s not as big as mine. I scoff at my immature joke.
“You’re not being all stalker on that girl all night, Tristan.” She takes my hand and yanks me towards the dance floor. With a sigh, I start moving with her to the music. Erin leans in close and whispers in my ear, “I thought you couldn’t dance.”
Placing my hand on her back, I pull her closer and start grinding against her. Only I’m not looking at or thinking about her. I’m looking at Lillia, who’s placing a gentle hand on the asshole’s cheek. She’s looking up at him the way she used to look at me. With nothing but love and admiration. She turns her head slightly and our eyes lock. Hurt and betrayal stare back at me. She stands up and walks out of the room, followed by dickhead, but not before he gives me a look of pure disgust and hatred. I return his look, only mine is more I’m gonna kill you if you touch what’s mine. That’s when I realize what I’m doing. I push Erin off me and storm off the dance floor and out by the lake.
“Boss?” Erin’s voice interrupts my peace and quiet. I laugh inwardly. Peace and quiet, my ass. “Tristan?” She touches my back and I flinch.
“I’m sorry, Erin.” I sigh. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Hey, I get it. You were trying to make her jealous.” She joins me in leaning against the safety rail. “I was trying to make someone jealous too.”
“You were?”
“Yeah. He’s never going to notice me though. Not when he has a prime steak on his arm.” She sighs sadly, looking up at the ink black night sky.
“Well, he’s an idiot if he doesn’t snap you up.” I shoulder bump her. I mean it. She’s stunning. Legs for miles, long red hair halfway down her back, kind deep blue eyes. If I wasn’t so hung up on Lillia, I would try my chances with her. But Lillia is it for me, even if I’m not for her.
“You’re just saying that so I don’t file a sexual harassment suit on you.” She giggles, her face turning red.
“No. No, I’m not, Erin.”
“Boss?” She breaks the silence. “Why don’t you go talk to her? Tell her how you feel. I can see in your eyes that this is killing you. Her being here with another man while you have to watch and vice versa.”
“It’s not that simple, Erin.” I sigh. “We’ve got so much history. So much stuff has happened between us and that’s before we’ve even dated.” Shaking my head, I let out a heavy breath.
“If love was simple, we’d all live happily ever after.” She smirks. “Life isn’t all sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. We have to take the bad stuff and learn from it to make better decisions.” When she mentions unicorns and rainbows, my mind goes to Lil
lia and her love for them. I nearly passed out when I saw her wearing the chain I bought her for her twenty-first birthday. I thought for sure she had thrown it away. “Tonight, Tristan. Take all the bad and make the better decision. Don’t regret not taking this opportunity before she goes back to New York.” She gives my hand a squeeze and kisses my cheek, leaving me to mull over her words.
Walking back up to the reception, I spot Lillia slow dancing with that fucker she came with. He has his hands dangerously close to her ass. I see nothing but red and hear the faint sound of Aiden’s voice calling my name. Before I know it, I pull the guy off Lillia and punch him square on the nose, feeling a crunch of bones.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Lillia kneels down to tend to what’s his name, her eyes ablaze with fury as they set upon me.
“Tristan, what the hell, man?” Lennon sighs, looking at the bloodied guy being tended to by Lillia and her cousin, Hugh. My hands shake with the adrenaline running through my veins.
“I’m…” I swallow. “I’m sorry.” I look at my best friend. I ruined his perfect wedding in a fit of rage.
“Walk with me.” Lennon pulls me from the scene. We walk outside and I feel like I’m about to get a telling off from my father. “What did you think was happening in there with Lillia and Josh?” So, the fucker has a name? “Yeah, he does.” Lennon smirks. Shit, I said it out loud.
“I don’t know, Lennon. I saw his hands near her ass and I lost it.” I run a frustrated hand through my hair. “I’m sorry, man.”
“He’s gay, Tris.” He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Josh only came with Lillia with the promise she would introduce him to Hugh.” He looks down, ashamed. “It’s my fault. Well, Aiden’s and mine.”
I look at him, confused as to why my losing my temper was their fault. “We came up with a plan to tell you two that you were each coming with dates. We thought it would light a fire up your asses to stop being so fucking stubborn and give you guys a go.”
She Loves Me. He Loves Me Not. Page 13
