“She’s the one who’s sick.”
“Are you certain?” Valerie asked.
Willow bit her lip. “Not really.”
“It could be either of them. You better put them back.”
Willow went back to the bedroom. When she pushed the door open, her father was in the room with a coat in his hands.
“Willow, you know better than to come into my room without knocking.”
Willow’s heart thumped hard in her chest and her throat constricted. For once, she was speechless as she stood there with her mouth gaping open and the pill bottle clutched in her hand.
He looked from her stunned face down to her hand. “What is that?”
“Nothing.”
“Show me.”
She lifted her hand and opened it to reveal the bottle of pills.
He stepped forward and took it out of her hand. “What are you doing with this?”
“Nothing.”
Frowning at her, he asked, “Were you looking to see if you could find medication? Are you taking drugs?”
“Nee, I just didn’t know what they were.”
“If you want to take drugs, you can’t stay in this haus.”
“I don’t.”
He shook the pill bottle in her face. “You were trying to get high on drugs. I’ll talk with your mudder and we’ll come up with a suitable punishment tomorrow.” He shook his head. “This isn’t how we raised you. You’ve been acting odd ever since you started work at the lumberyard.”
“I can explain.”
“Go downstairs and don’t ruin your schweschder’s wedding. We’ll speak again tomorrow.”
They left and rejoined the wedding party.
“Where were you?” Violet asked when she sat down next to her.
“I just needed a moment.”
“For what?”
“There’s too much noise here. I just needed a quiet moment.”
“When are things ever too noisy for you?”
Willow stared at her sister. “Okay, if you must know, I’ve come back from looking in Mamm and Dat’s room. Mamm’s not dying. I found a bottle of pills and they’re only for stomach problems. And it could even be Dat’s. It’s not a dangerous thing.” She didn’t tell her sister what had just happened with her father or that would ruin the wedding. Violet would try to stand up for her and there would be a big fuss.
“Oh, that’s such a relief.” Violet hugged Willow. “Why didn’t you tell me right away?”
“I didn’t want to distract you from your wedding.”
“I’ve been so worried.”
“Now we don’t have to worry about anything,” Willow said.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. I even asked Valerie and she said the pills weren’t for anything serious.”
“That’s good; she’s not dying. Now I can really enjoy my wedding.”
* * *
Willow sat through a tense breakfast the morning after the wedding. Violet was now married and living with Nathan at their own house, so Willow was on her own. Her father had said that he and her mother would talk to her after breakfast, and get right down to what was going on. Willow knew it wouldn't be good.
"After you wash the dishes, you can join your mudder and me in the living room."
"Jah, Dat." Willow hurried with the dishes, trying to get it all over as soon as possible.
"Are you ready yet, Willow?" her father called out after only a few minutes.
"I'm just about to put the last of the dishes away." Willow walked out to see her parents both sitting on one couch so she sat on the opposite one.
"Why were you in our room, Willow?"
"I don't know." Willow looked down at the rug on the floor.
"Your vadder said he saw you with a bottle of pills in your hand. Were you looking for drugs? We’ve heard about young people wanting to get high by taking pills or sniffing things. Don’t think we don’t know about all that, because we do."
Willow had been looking for drugs, or rather medication, but she couldn’t answer yes to that question. She was looking for drugs to see if her mother was ill, not looking for drugs to take for herself. "Why can't you just trust me?" Willow thought they should trust her. Why should she have to explain herself?
Her father chimed in, "Because you have shown that you are untrustworthy, and a gossip."
It was an awful feeling that both of her parents thought so lowly of her. She wanted to get away from them. They were suffocating her. "Why do you both say I gossip all the time? I don't.” Then she remembered she told Valerie about her fears concerning her mother's illness. Was that gossiping, if she was only doing it out of concern for her mother?
"Sometimes I don't think I know you anymore." Her mother shook her head.
Willow opened her mouth in shock.
Her father added, "Everything would've been fine if you had agreed to marry Samuel. He had no objection against it."
Her mother nodded. "Jah. You were getting on fine with Samuel when he was here last Sunday."
"That was a couple of Sundays ago."
"You shouldn't correct your mudder," her father said.
Willow took a deep breath. This wasn't going well.
"And why did you have the pill bottle in your hand?" her father asked.
"I found it in your bureau."
"What were you doing going through our things, Willow?" her mother asked.
"I can't tell you."
"You will tell us, Willow, and you’ll tell us the truth." Her father frowned at her.
Her mother turned to her father. "I think she should go to her room until she decides to tell us the truth."
"Good idea. Go to your room and think about what you've done. And when you decide to tell us the truth, you can come out."
Willow sat there pouting at her parents. It was so unfair.
"Are you really on drugs, Willow?" her mother asked with lines deepening in her forehead.
"Of course not!"
“I’ll tell the Hostetlers you can no longer work at the lumberyard,” her father said.
Willow bounded to her feet. “Nee! That’s my job!”
“You had to learn that behavior from somewhere. And your mudder and I noticed a distinct change in your personality since you started working there.”
“Nee. They’ve just given me a permanent job. They like me. I’m good at what I do and everyone there treats me like an adult.” Were they trying to ruin her life?
"If you have nothing more to say, you can go to your room now," her father said angrily. “I’m leaving now to visit Mr. Hostetler and tell him you can’t work for him anymore.”
Willow stood up and flounced up the stairs, closing her bedroom door behind her. She felt like slamming it, but knew she’d get into more trouble. Pulling a chair up to the window, she looked over the fields. It was a beautiful morning. The birds were chirping, the winter sun was shining, and there was a brisk wind moving the branches of the trees across the driveway.
She had to get away from her parents. She’d run away. There was no way she could live with people who didn’t trust her. How could her father be so cruel after she’d worked hard in that job?
Chapter 11
Suddenly Willow thought of Valerie. She’d understand. Surely Valerie will allow me to stay with her, at least for a little while.
Valerie only lived a few miles away.
That night, after having spent the day alone in her room, she left a note in her room telling her parents she could no longer stay there if they didn’t trust her. She fled into the cold night toward Valerie’s home, hoping she’d be allowed to stay there for a few nights.
On her way, the chilly night air nipped at Willow’s skin, so she pulled her coat higher over her neck. Did it really matter if she did not marry Samuel? She wondered why it mattered so much to her parents. In her heart, she knew that she would rather marry for love or not get married at all. How could her parents think she’d have anything
to do with drugs? They treated her like a child.
Two hours later, after walking briskly across the countryside and through deserted roads, Willow came to Valerie’s haus. She knocked on the door, hoping that it wasn’t too late for visitors since the place was in darkness.
A flood of light escaped under the front door. The door opened slowly and Willow saw Valerie’s silhouette against the bright light in the hallway behind her.
“Willow.” Valerie looked her up and down. “Come in.” She pulled on Willow’s arm.
“Hello.”
They hugged each other.
“I was hoping I could stay with you for just a little time.”
“Of course. Stay as long as you want. What’s happened? Is everything all right?”
“Everyone is okay. But everything is not. I had a dreadful fight with Mamm and Dat. At the wedding, Dat caught me putting the bottle of pills back in their room and now he thinks I was looking for drugs to get high on.”
“Oh, Willow. That’s dreadful.”
“That’s not the worst of it. Dat told Mr. Hostetler this morning that I wasn’t allowed to work for him anymore. And Mr. Hostetler had just given me the job permanently. And now, through no fault of my own, I’ve let Mr. Hostetler down.”
As Willow sobbed, Valerie rubbed her arm. “I’ll help you sort things out tomorrow. We’ll tell your vadder why you were looking for medication. I’ll tell him you were only concerned about your mudder and bringing the bottle for me to look at.”
Willow shook her head. “That would only get you into trouble. Anyway, I don’t want to go back there if they don’t trust me.”
“It’s late. You must be cold. I’ll fix you some tea and cookies.”
She followed Valerie to the kitchen.
Valerie filled the jug up with water and switched on the gas. “While the jug’s boiling, I’ll make up the bed in the spare room.”
“I’ll help.”
Valerie’s haus was small but pleasant and homey. There were three bedrooms and an inside bathroom. After Willow helped Valerie make the bed with fresh linen, the two of them sat down at the dining room table. Willow filled her mouth with some warm tea and swallowed slowly. It had been a cold walk to Valerie’s haus and the tea warmed her.
“They’re trying to make me marry Samuel Troyer. What do you think of that?”
“That’s awful. So what do you plan on doing?”
“I don’t know. I like Samuel, but there’s been too much pressure. Maybe if there was no pressure things would’ve been different between us, but now, I don’t know.” Willow wanted to cry; maybe she was tired and needed some sleep. “They don’t trust me and it seems they just want to get rid of me. They think I’m immature, and now they think I’m untrustworthy.”
Valerie sighed. “And they think by marrying Samuel, you’ll straighten yourself out?”
“Jah. I guess that’s what they think.” Valerie was married once; she was older, too, so she must know a thing or two. “You believe in love, don’t you, Valerie?”
“Of course I do, and Gott helps me get through my days now that my husband is no longer with me.”
Valerie’s husband had died suddenly a couple of years ago and his death was surrounded by rumors.
Willow looked around the modern kitchen. “Your haus is lovely, Valerie.”
“Denke. It’s quite small, but it’s just me here, so it’s all I need. More tea?”
Willow looked into her empty cup. “Nee. I’m sorry to wake you so late.”
“Nonsense. My home is your home.”
Willow smiled and was grateful that she'd had somewhere to run away to.
After they said goodnight to each other, Willow closed the bedroom door. In the full-length mirror behind the door, she stared at herself. Her father had never allowed a mirror in the house, saying it led to vanity. She pulled off her prayer kapp and dress, trying to work out how her father could be so mean as to take away her job. Perhaps she should go on rumspringa; she couldn’t stay at Valerie’s forever, and neither did she want to move in with Violet because she was a newlywed.
Once she turned off the lamp, she slid between the covers of the bed, closed her eyes, and prayed.
Dear Gott, please help me. I don’t know what to do. All I know is that I just couldn’t stay at home. I hope you’re not mad with me. Guide me along the way in which you would have me go. Amen.
Willow closed her eyes more tightly and hoped that Gott did not want her to go home and work things out with her parents. It seemed no use. No matter what she said, they took things the wrong way. They always treated her as the bad daughter, when she'd had to cover for Violet more than once when she was meeting Nathan in secret. Violet wasn’t the "good daughter," not by far. So why did her parents think that she was the one to watch? It didn’t make sense. Willow cried into her pillow and fell asleep exhausted.
Chapter 12
The morning sun beaming through the window warmed Willow’s closed eyelids. Willow jumped out of bed, pulled her dress back on, and went looking for Valerie.
“You slept a long time,” Valerie said as she poured some cereal into a bowl.
“Did I? I don’t usually sleep late.”
“It’s nine o’clock. Sit down.”
Willow sat at the table. “Oh, that is late for me.”
“I’ve got to be out of here in fifteen minutes. I’m helping at a fundraiser. What will you do?”
Willow stretched her arms above her head. “Since Dat told the Hostetlers I couldn’t work there anymore, I’ll have to look for another job. I’m so embarrassed. He might have told them I was on drugs or something.”
"Oh, I hope not."
“Do you know where I should go to find a job?”
“What sort of job are you looking for?”
She breathed out heavily. “I’ll do anything.”
“I know a friend who works at the cafeteria at the hospital, and they’re often looking for workers. I can ask her if you’d like.”
Willow felt a spark of hope. “Jah please. That would be great.”
“I know they had a job advertised last week, but I don’t know if the position’s filled or not. It was likely only for a job washing dishes or something not very exciting.”
“I don’t mind what it is. Anything is a start. I’ll work my way up.”
“All right. Help yourself to anything you need here, and I’ll be home at six.” Valerie picked up a bunch of keys and took one off. “Here’s a key to the front door.”
Willow held the key tightly in the palm of her hand. “I don’t know what I’d have done without being able to come here. I hope it won’t cause a problem between you and my parents.”
“Leave that to me. I will have to tell them you’re here, though.”
Willow nodded, knowing that Valerie would never go behind her parents’ backs about anything.
Valerie smiled, and took a last spoonful of cereal. When she finished chewing, she said, “I’ll bring dinner home with me. Do you like pizza?”
“I love it.”
“I’ll see you tonight.”
“Denke again, Valerie.”
Moments later, Willow looked out the window and watched Valerie drive away in her buggy.
After a breakfast of toast and cereal, Willow decided to occupy her day working in the garden in front of Valerie’s haus.
She pulled on a large apron, and a pair of heavy gardening gloves.
As she began pulling out some weeds, her thoughts turned to home. She did not want to upset her parents at all, but neither did she want to marry anyone they chose without her input. The whole situation was one in which no one would be happy.
Willow was startled by a buggy. When it drew closer, she saw that it was Liam.
She walked over and when he stopped, she asked, “What are you doing out this way?”
He jumped down. “Willow, what’s going on? Your vadder said you could no longer work for us.”
Willow look
ed down at the ground, and mumbled, “I had a falling out with him.”
“Your vadder?”
“Jah.”
“He can’t say where you can and can’t work.”
“I don’t want to cause any trouble at home. It’s best if I don’t work there if he says I can’t.”
“And you’re staying with Valerie?”
“Jah, how did you know?”
“I passed her on the way when I was heading to your place to see how you were.”
“That was nice of you.”
“I care about you, Willow. Now would be a perfect time for you to run away with me.”
Willow giggled and it felt good to laugh again. “Nee.”
“Well, why don’t I come back at lunchtime and take you somewhere and feed you?”
“Denke, that would be nice.”
“I’ll leave you to your weeding.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why you’re bothering. The whole place will be covered by snow soon.”
Willow looked at the garden and then looked back at Liam. “What time will you be back?”
“One.”
“Okay. I’ll be ready.”
He jumped back in his buggy and drove away.
Willow hurried back into the haus and looked in the mirror in her bedroom to make sure she’d looked okay. Her cheeks appeared flushed and her hair was poking out of her prayer kapp and could’ve been more tidy. She went back to finish her gardening, figuring she had to do something to pass the time.
After a stint in the garden, Willow went inside to shower and make herself look decent. Once she’d showered, she dressed in one of Valerie’s dresses and brushed out her long brown hair. Valerie had said she could use anything she wished, and Willow hoped that meant clothes. After all, she only had the clothes she’d arrived in last night. Once she’d braided her hair, she fastened it to her head and placed on her kapp.
An hour later, Liam knocked on the door. The familiar butterflies flittered in Willow’s tummy.
Liam walked through the door quickly, closing it behind him.
“We’d better keep the door open,” Willow said, not thinking it proper that a single girl and boy should be alone in a haus together.
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