by Lexi Blake
Now Miles’s middle finger showed up. “Not happening. You’re lucky I’m even willing to help you out at all. You’re the asshole brother I never, ever wanted and would like to give back.”
Taggart’s smile proved the man could have been on the big screen if he’d wanted to be. “Ah, you say the sweetest things. What’s this hellhole? I like it. Reminds me of real clubs. My wife needed Sanctum to look like a combination high-tech torture palace/five-star hotel. This place is real. I bet you don’t even have much of an electricity bill.”
Alex moaned. “I will pay the fucking bill if you will stop complaining about it. Dear god, you’re a multimillionaire and you complain about one high utility bill.”
“How do you think I stay a multimillionaire? It sure ain’t by giving TXU my paycheck. I grew up poor, Moneybags. I can’t pay out because a couple of Doms wanted to see if they could keep the hamster wheel going for a solid week.”
“It was for charity,” McKay shot back. “And I grew up next to you. Literally in the house next to yours. Could we get on with this? There’s a hotel room with my name on it.”
“No, there’s not,” Miles said with a sigh. “We’re scheduled to go back as soon as this meeting’s over. We can’t afford for the Agency boys to figure out we’re here. But Big Tag didn’t tell you that.”
McKay stood up. “You suck, Ian. I’m going to find some coffee. It’s going to be a long day.”
He sort of stumbled back toward the kitchen where the bodyguards, along with Riley, were waiting.
Big Tag pulled out a bunch of paperwork. “Don’t look at me like that, Kay. We came in on the small 4L jet. It’s got a bedroom because Drew Lawless is freaky that way. Even now the flight attendant is making sure Alex has lavender-scented sheets and a white-noise player that will only switch to baby screams twenty minutes before we land. See, I’m not a complete asshole. Now how about we get down to business. I hear a little birdy’s been giving out classified intel.”
Kay stiffened beside him. “Yes, sir. I laid out the plan to Mr. Hunt after it became obvious there was no other way to keep the op going.”
“None? You can’t think of a single other option opened to you? Because I can,” Taggart asked, one brow climbing up. That was one judgmental brow. The rest of the man’s face hadn’t changed at all, but there was such power in his expression.
It would look good on film. He could try it later in the mirror. He filed the expression away and tried not reach for Kayla’s hand.
“I should have called in and gotten advice.” Kay’s voice was tight, her usual happiness dimmed to the point that she seemed lethargic. It was hard to see her that way because she was always bright and full of life. “I should have put the choice in Damon’s and your hands. I didn’t call in until I’d already screwed up. I’m sorry.”
“I am, too,” Taggart replied without a hint of sympathy in his arctic tone. “You put this company in a tricky position. We’re contractors here. If the Agency finds out how you’ve jeopardized this op and its position, not only will our government contracts get shut down, we’ll likely be brought up on criminal charges. And Hunt here can sue the shit out of us.”
Criminal charges? He shook his head, trying to process what that meant. “I don’t understand. What do you mean they could arrest her? For telling me the truth?”
Yolo…what was his name again…Miles leaned in. “In this case, telling you the truth could be considered anything from leaking classified intelligence to straight up espionage.”
“Or otherwise known as treason when it’s an American citizen committing the crime against an American intelligence agency,” Taggart pointed out. “She’s looking at anything from ten years to life, though the more realistic outcome would be to quietly move her to a federal facility where she wouldn’t be heard from again.”
His heart threatened to stop in his chest. “Just for telling me something I should have known? I had the right to know.”
“Not according to the United States government, you didn’t,” Miles said, not without sympathy. “They take security seriously, especially when it comes to embedded agents. Do you think the Mexican government knows we have an operative working in Jalisco? I assure you they do not.”
Alex McKay walked back into the room, a coffee mug in his hand. “We’ve got a lawyer on it back in Dallas in case it comes out. We’re here to make sure it doesn’t. None of us wants this information out in the public. We’re here to offer Mr. Hunt a few…gifts in exchange for the greatest gift of all. Silence.”
“I thought you said your wife was the greatest gift,” Taggart said with a shit-eating grin.
“That was before we had kids,” McKay replied. “Now it’s definitely silence.”
How could they joke when Kayla could go to jail? “I’m not going to talk. I’ll do the job and then we’ll go our separate ways.”
“Really? Well, that was easy.” Taggart started to get up.
“Ian, please,” Kay said quietly.
Taggart frowned and sat his ass back down. He flipped the file folder around. “First, we’re willing to offer you bodyguard services for half the going rate.”
“Ian,” Kay said, fire in her eyes.
“Fuck me hard. A year’s worth of bodyguard service for…for…for fucking free. In that time we’ll train two people of your choice and at the end you’ll keep them on.” It was obvious the offer had taken a lot out of him. Taggart sank back as though utterly exhausted. “In addition, Riley has already discovered that the tape from two nights ago has a terrible defect. Something went wrong for approximately twenty-three minutes. It was late and that was why he didn’t catch it.”
McKay slid across a thumb drive. “This is the original and the only copy. No one here has listened to it with the exception of Riley Blade, and he’s signed a nondisclosure agreement. It’s going to be forwarded to your attorney, but understand we’re very vague about the hows and whys that tape came into existence.”
Josh shook his head. “Send it to me. I don’t trust anyone with it. I’ll keep the NDA in case I need it.” Could he trust these men? Kayla did, but then he didn’t trust her at all. Except that maybe she’d been willing to go to jail…whoa, hold your horses there, dumbass. That wasn’t about you. That was about the mission. Still, it was obvious these men had something to lose if it all came out. “Thank you for the tape. I appreciate it not getting out.”
Taggart moved on briskly. “In addition, Adam has the file you wanted, Kayla. He found her.”
“Her?” Josh asked. “Her who?”
Miles passed him a folder. “Kayla asked me to locate a woman named Hannah Lovell. I didn’t have much to go on. She couldn’t give me more than name, approximate age, and the fact that she’d been in the foster care system in the Wichita area. She went missing as a young child from a foster home that was later found to be committing fraud.”
His heart damn near seized. He’d been sure she was dead. “You found Hannah?”
“I asked Adam to find her. I got her records last night. Adam is pretty brilliant at finding missing persons,” she replied. “Consider it a peace offering. Although you might not like where she is.”
“I located her in a prison in Cleveland. She’s doing time for possession and multiple counts of solicitation. I don’t know who this woman is to you, but she’s had a hard life,” Adam was saying. “She’s scheduled to come up for parole in six months, but she’s also got a public defender.”
One thing he could do. One good fucking thing. “I’ll pay for her lawyer. Could you find me someone, the best someone? She was a good friend. We were in…” Hell… “Foster care together. I always wondered what happened to her. I…thank you for finding her.”
It might be too late. She might be too far gone, but he could help out. He’d thought he was too far gone, but Tina had offered him something different. What if he could do the same?
What if he could do the same for a lot of people who’d spent time in Hell? Nothin
g could fix the hole inside him.
Had he tried? Had he attempted in any way to fill that hole or had he determined he was broken beyond repair and given up and given in to hopelessness, to believing the only way to live was to pretend to be someone else, always denying what had happened to him.
“We’ll keep it quiet about who’s paying the legal fees,” McKay was saying.
He found himself nodding, but he wanted to see Hannah. He couldn’t, of course. That would bring up too many questions. It would put him too close to the truth.
“I want to visit her.”
That brow of Taggart’s rose again, though this time it seemed more curious than judgmental. “You know someone is going to want to know why you would visit a drug addict and a prostitute in jail. It will get out.”
“Fuck ’em,” Josh said. He wanted to see her. It probably wouldn’t go well, but he had to try. Even if only to apologize to her. For not saving them both. For not being able to protect her.
“That’s the first smart thing you’ve said,” Taggart replied. “We’ll make that happen too. Now can you promise me you’re going to be a good boy and do your job? Wait, let me be clear about what your job is. You will go to the party at Morales’s place. You will get Kayla in. You will get her out. You will keep your mouth closed and maybe we can save this operative’s life. If not, at least we can figure out what happened and how he became compromised.”
“I can do that,” Josh said, holding on to the folder Miles had given him. Hannah was in that file. Her picture showed a hardened woman, aged before her time.
Did she have to stay that way? Was the damage permanent or could her pain be eased with a friendly hand reaching out, a compatriot in the horror who wanted to help her find some kind of light? Did her life have to be over?
Did his? Did his heart have to harden because one woman had lied to him? The problem was he was fairly certain it had only softened because of her in the first place.
The only way to beat the darkness is to drag it all into the light, Josh.
Sometimes he wondered if he’d exchanged one prison for another. One had been dark, the other gilded, but in neither could he be himself, could he have true control over who he was. One had been a fight to exist, the other a constant battle to hide his history. He’d found a career where he didn’t have to be himself, where it was of the utmost importance that he almost never be himself.
Who was he? The scared child? The unrepentant and violent teen? The man who shut everything down so he didn’t self-destruct?
“Do we have a deal?”
From the tone of Taggart’s question, Josh figured it might have been asked more than once. “Yes, we have a deal.”
“Excellent.” Taggart closed the folder in front of him and turned Kay’s way. “Could you go and have Riley call the pilot and tell him we’ll be ready to leave early?”
“Wait,” Adam said, a frown on his face. “Doesn’t anyone want to know about how I found her so fast? You see I wrote this software that searches all known databases for…”
Taggart groaned. “No one cares, nerd. We all know you’re a genius. You have my investment. Don’t ask for my damn attention unless you’re a bottle of Scotch or a lemon pie. Are you either of those things?”
“I’ll text Riley,” Kayla said, pulling out her phone.
“I didn’t ask you to text him,” Taggart said, his voice going low. “Please, go and ask him in person. And maybe get yourself a cup of coffee.”
Kayla frowned, looking from man to man to man as though trying to figure out exactly what they were going to do. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“It’s an excellent idea.” McKay sat up, looking a little more awake. “Go on. I’ll make sure the beast stays on the leash.”
Kay got to her feet. “I don’t know why the beast needs to be here at all. This is my problem, Alex. I need to handle it. I don’t need the brotherhood rushing in to save me like I’m some delicate princess.”
McKay shrugged. “Did you not see the delicate princess clause in your contract? The brotherhood doesn’t care that you’re competent and capable of handling things yourself. The brotherhood cares that you’re a woman we care about. Now go. You’re on thin ice. Let us do what we need to.”
She sighed. “Fine. But I’ll be right back.”
And he was left alone with them. Was he about to get some kind of warning?
“Mr. Hunt, would you care to tell me why the sunniest woman of my acquaintance looks like death warmed over?” McKay asked. “I’ve seen that girl with the flu and she still smiles like she’s at Disney World.”
That was interesting. “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her.”
“Oh, but we’re asking you.” Miles was suddenly side by side with Taggart, their bickering tossed aside in favor of putting forth a united front.
Against him.
“Yes, and the answer to that question will let me know a whole lot about you,” Taggart said.
Jeez, when the guy wanted to look psychotic, he could turn that shit on. “I suspect she’s upset that I didn’t take her deception well.”
“You didn’t take it well as in you got angry and hurt and wouldn’t talk to her, or you tried to hurt her?” Miles asked.
“I beat the shit out of your bodyguard.” He sort of lied. He’d hit the guy. It wasn’t his fault Declan Burke seemed to be made out of granite. “But I sure as hell didn’t physically hurt Kayla. You can’t expect me to be happy that she lied to me. She used me on every level. I have to say she’s excellent at her job. She knows exactly how to make a man give it all up. I wouldn’t fire her if I were you. A good one is hard to find.”
“A good what?” McKay asked. “Choose the next word you say with some caution. I told Kay I would keep the beast on a leash, but one wrong word out of your mouth and I won’t be able to hold him. You see, Big Tag and Kay understand each other. They know what it means to sacrifice for their country. They know how to make the hard calls, the ones that haunt a person for the rest of his or her life, and they know what it means to care about the very person they’re supposed to be targeting. It can be hard.”
Miles took over. “Someone like Kay doesn’t make mistakes. Never. She’s the solid one, the one we send in when everyone else has fucked up. She knows protocol and that it’s there for a reason. There’s only one possible conclusion I can draw as to why she fucked up here. Of all the intricate and complex cases she’s handled, she’s only let her emotions lead her in one and that’s yours. So please, clarify your last statement because I need to know if I should call in a cleanup crew. A good what is hard to find?”
Shit. He was sitting in a room with three men who’d killed, and likely multiple times. They’d done it in service of their country, but it looked like they would also do it in service of a friend. “Operative. Agent. Whatever terminology you would use.”
“Sure. That’s what was going on in your head. The last time a woman I loved fucked me over hard, I didn’t think of her as an ‘operative.’ You’re smarter than me. Keep it up, kid.” Taggart looked at the other two men. “Why don’t you give me a minute alone with our new friend?”
McKay sighed. “Just remember that you hate paying for stuff and cleaners are expensive.”
Miles shrugged. “I’ll go halfsies for this one. Good luck, Hunt.”
They filed out of the room.
Taggart stared at him for a moment.
Hunt stared back. What was the guy going to do? Murder him right here? “If you’re going to beat the shit out of me, get going, asshole. You won’t be doing a damn thing that hasn’t already been done and by people who were bigger and meaner than you.”
Another lie, but he’d been so much smaller then that proportionally he was probably correct. It was good that he could use math to compare beatings. A gift from playing a numbers savant once. He needed to play a boxer next.
“I can only imagine what you’ve been through.”
He stiffen
ed. “I thought you didn’t listen to the tape.”
“I don’t have to listen to a tape to know that you disappeared from the time you were twelve until adulthood. And that woman you had us search for, she had a history of…well, her records are what nightmares are made of. I have three children, Mr. Hunt. I would never want them to experience a tenth of what you must have. But that’s neither here nor there. Your secrets are your own, though I’ve found keeping secrets is a good way to be miserable. There’s something shitty about the human psyche that punishes us for burying the bad stuff. There’s something freeing about the truth. I’m going to impart some truth on you, Joshua Hunt.”
“Hit me.” It wouldn’t change anything. This stranger knew nothing about him.
“That woman who hurt you could only hurt you because you cared about her.”
He shrugged. “I’ll admit I fell under her spell. She’s excellent at sizing a man up and figuring out what he needs. I didn’t even know I was attracted to weird chicks.”
Taggart’s lips curled in a way that let Josh know the man genuinely liked Kay. “What did she do? Talk to plants? She likes to do that. Says they grow even faster if you sing to them. She does a mean Pink.”
“Dolphins. She talked to dolphins,” he corrected. “And a seal.”
Taggart chuckled and then got serious again. “I’m going to tell you a story. Well, maybe you’ve heard it. It’s the one about this bright-eyed college kid who found out she had a twin sister trapped in a terrible life as a spy for a foreign country.”
He knew she’d gone in young, but she hadn’t mentioned a sibling. “Kayla had a sister?”
“Oh, yes. One of the nastiest female operatives I ever went up against. I mean that on a couple of levels. Nasty in a good way that would get me in trouble with my wife if she knew I talked about it, and nasty in a way that would likely make my wife high-five her because my Charlie is a chick who doesn’t mind a bit of castration, if you know what I mean. Not that Kun managed it with me, but she did try. When I met Kay, I couldn’t quite believe they were twins because Kayla was like sunshine and her sister was dark. I don’t mind dark, but Jiang Kun was a bottomless pit of it.”
