by Lexi Blake
The idea of a crazy-bitch warrior goddess who would love him and be with him and fucking protect him for the rest of his life—that was the wish of his childhood self. The adult, the man he’d become long before his childhood should have ended, knew she was a lie the universe told. She was another trick. Another falsehood. Another beautiful dream he would wake up from.
Long before he wanted to give up, she tightened around him, all those seemingly delicate muscles deep inside her milking him for all they were worth. He couldn’t fight her. That was the truth of his existence. He was weak when he should be strong.
He was hard when it would be smarter to be soft.
He was stubborn when he should yield.
Josh let the orgasm wash over him, even as something deeper worked on his soul. She would be with him always. There was no way to wash her away or cleanse himself. And to even seek it was stupid. She was the clean part of him. She was the part that believed he’d never been dirtied at all.
“I love you.” He said the words as though he couldn’t keep them from coming out of his mouth. He said them as his insistent cock faded and all that was left was the emotion he wanted badly to dam up and hide. Like that Edgar Allan Poe short. He wanted to take his heart and put it underground, but it kept beating for her. It kept insisting and begging and prodding until he couldn’t hear anything but the beat, that fucking rhythm it had taken the moment she walked into his life.
“I love you,” she replied. “I’ll always love you. I’ll always want you. I’ll always be waiting for you to come home to me, Josh. After this is done, I think I’m going to retire. After one last job, I’m going back to Santa Barbara and I’m going to find that stupid girl I was and see what happens, but know the woman I am will always be waiting. Even when I’m old and gray. There will only ever be you for me.”
She wrapped her arms around him, her affection something he’d come to rely on. Such easy affection, as though her soul had known his without effort or cause. As if she’d simply loved him from the beginning, no restrictions or clauses.
As if the universe had known what he’d lost, had never had, and formed this perfection of love meant only for him, to lift him up, a prize he’d won simply because he’d survived the worst. Love at its purest. At its rarest.
But how could he trust it?
She kissed him and left the shower, leaving him alone.
As he’d always been. As he would be if he couldn’t be the brave man she thought he was.
He stood under the shower, praying for strength.
* * * *
He was the single most beautiful man she’d ever seen and her heart was oddly peaceful. Josh stood across the room from her, looking perfectly cast as the Hollywood star in his tailored tuxedo. His hair was slicked back, showing off his perfectly chiseled features and those swoon-worthy eyes. Every woman in the room had eyes on him. A whole lot of the men, too.
It was going to be okay. Something had settled between them after that moment in the shower. She’d made her play, told him how she felt. If she lost him anyway, she would take her love and put it into something else because she knew there was only one man for her.
There was something comforting about acceptance.
“You look beautiful. Mujer hermosa,” Hector said as he approached her. “Josh must be proud to have you at his side.”
But she wasn’t at his side. He was across the room, talking to some lovely woman who would likely be donating a ton of money to his charity. He smiled at the lady, though Kay knew that was his rich-donor smile and not the one he used when he was truly happy.
He was going to let her go. He was going to stand back and let them break, and there was nothing she could do. She wasn’t his love. It hurt her. It fucking broke her, but she wasn’t the woman who would heal Joshua Hunt. She was somewhere out there. Kayla prayed she was because Josh deserved her. That was love. Wanting more for someone even when she couldn’t be the one to give it.
Oh, how she wanted her dads. She wasn’t going to be stoic this time. That London flight was taking a big old stop in Santa Barbara, where she intended to cry on her dads’ shoulders and let them take care of her. Her dad would talk to her about love and life and try to give her sage advice. Her papa would make never-ending rounds of comfort food and swear to put the whammy on Josh the next time he went to see Miss Maybelle, his psychic. The dog would growl and try to lick her mouth. She would revel in their love. She would let them help her plan a future without Josh because they were her fathers and that was their job.
“Thank you for saying so.” She smiled Hector’s way, letting the grief she felt sink back into her subconscious. She had a job to do. There was time to pine for what she couldn’t have later. “I’m simply happy to be here. It was kind of you to open your home to us.”
To me, especially, because I’m bringing your house of cards down all around you, asshole.
Hector Morales was a stout man. With a barrel chest and strong limbs, he was somewhere between dad bod and fit, that odd place a lot of vain, almost middle-aged men fell. He took care of himself somewhat, but she could also tell he likely sampled his own product from time to time. There was something about his florid face that spoke of hard nights. “I adore Joshua. Such an amazing young man. I have admired him for years. I love the survivors.”
“Survivors?”
His skin flushed, but he didn’t miss a beat. “You know, Hollywood is a rough business and Josh rather grew up on screen. That’s not an easy task. He wasn’t as good in the beginning, but now he is the foremost of all the actors in America. I’m very proud of him.”
Awesome. He was proud the kid he’d forced into prostitution had made something of himself. It was funny, but when she looked at Hector, she could already see the bullet hole in between his brows. Boomer was getting so many tacos. “I am, too. You know I forgot to ask earlier, but exactly how did you meet Josh?”
A secret smile flashed on Morales’s face and then was gone in an instant. “I was always a fan, but then I was in Los Angeles and met his agent. Not the one he has now, but the one who got him his start in the business. I might have strong-armed my way into one of Joshua’s charity receptions. He had just started his children’s foundation. We met and struck up a friendship. We both have strong feelings about children. They must be protected. They are the future.”
He’d certainly built a business on their suffering. “I’m surprised you don’t have any children of your own.”
He waved that off. “I’ve spent the last several years working on building my business. I have only a few more professional issues to get out of the way and then I’ll be announcing my plans to marry.”
She’d heard nothing about a girlfriend. “Very nice. I’m sure you’ll throw an incredible wedding. Is your future fiancée here tonight?”
“She’s around, but she can be a bit shy,” he admitted. “She’s very involved in my business, you see. You would like her. I think you would find you have a lot in common. Perhaps I’ll introduce you if all goes well and I can tempt her out.”
More information for the Agency. “I would love to meet her.”
Morales nodded as the band started playing. “Excuse me, dear. I have a full dance card. Please enjoy yourself.”
She thanked him and watched as he walked up to a woman she thought she recognized from a telenovela. The woman was lovely and older than she would have suspected Hector liked his women, but then she wouldn’t have thought he would marry a business associate either.
The man had secrets and it was time for her to steal a few of them.
Across the room Josh caught her eye.
She gave him a smile.
Don’t go.
It was easy to read his expression because he looked plainly panicked.
She tried to make sure her smile this time was a thing of great confidence. It’s going to be okay.
His jaw tightened and then someone touched his arm and he was right back to playing the graciou
s on-screen god, mingling with the mortals.
Kayla slipped out the back of the ballroom and into the gardens. She would give it to Morales. The man knew how to throw a party. He knew how to live, too. The mansion was dazzling and intricately designed. She glanced up at the security camera and watched the red light switch off.
Riley had done his job. Her stepping in front of that first camera was his signal to start the loop. They’d taken the footage the night before. With all the dancing, no one would suspect there was a reason the gardens were empty. There was a grand ball going on, the likes of which many of these modern, successful people had likely never experienced. It was a scene right out of a historical film where the king welcomed his courtiers into his palace.
Her role for the night? Thief and spy. Luckily it was a role she was well used to playing. Some might even say she’d become typecast.
“You have a guard coming up on your left as you reenter the building,” a voice said in her ear. She was wearing a small comm device that allowed her to hear Riley as he steered her around the house. He had the full range of security cameras while the guards in the house would see what he wanted them to see.
That was the key to a proper operation. Illusion. Deception. Control. These people wouldn’t even know there was a show going on around them. To them, it was exactly what it looked like—a party, and no one would notice the woman sneaking away.
If for some reason they did, she had her excuse. If they didn’t believe that, then she had a small semiautomatic in her clutch and a couple of knives strapped to her thighs.
“Give him a second. He’s not good at staying still. He paces. You’ll have about ten seconds to get back into the house, but from what I can tell, the doors aren’t locked.”
Morales had said he wanted his guests to enjoy the gardens, but there had been a forecast for rain this evening. The guard would likely send anyone caught in a storm back toward the ballroom. Unfortunately, she was going another way.
“Go now.”
She didn’t hesitate, moving across the cobblestoned garden path and back into the house. To her left she could see the armed guard walking away from her. Out that way were some buildings and cottages where security and personnel lived. She’d marked the small guesthouse where Shane was staying. Declan was waiting to pick up Riley once the handoff had been made. He would drive Riley back into the city where they would meet up with Levi Green or one of his operatives at a café in the morning.
Shane was staying behind to drive she and Josh back to the set tomorrow afternoon.
She slipped into the darkened part of the house, the music faint from here. Moonlight illuminated the center of the hall so she clung to the sides. The floor here was parquet, the walls done up in pretty white wainscoting and sporting painting after painting.
Kayla breathed in and slipped out of her heels. No matter how silently she moved, they would click on that wood. Once free of the five-inch Louboutins, she waited, her back to the wall as the guard took his place again in front of the door. He seemed to peer inside as though he knew something had happened but he wasn’t sure what.
Calm. She stayed perfectly calm and still and after a moment, the guard started pacing again.
“Go, Kay,” Riley said in her ear. “You’ve got someone at the base of the stairs but he’s a friendly. Tell Ezra hi for me. Damn, he’s good. This is the first time I’ve seen him.”
She sprinted down the hallway and turned right.
Ezra Fain peeled away from the shadows, his body in all black. There was even a balaclava covering his head so he could pull it down and blend in with the darkness. He nodded her way.
“Where did you come in from?” She had to ask because somehow it was hard to see him hiring on as part of the catering staff.
His lips curled up a bit. “Walked in from the jungle. I do not recommend it though. Next assignment I want to be infiltrating a spa or golf course or something without massive bugs. Everything gone all right?”
“It’s gone perfectly,” she replied. “I’m afraid you hung out with the bugs for no reason.”
His eyes told her he didn’t agree. “I don’t trust perfect. Let’s get this over with. Maybe I can hide out and hitch a ride back with you two in the morning.”
They moved in time, going up the stairs to the second floor where Morales’s private office was kept.
“At least we caught one break,” Riley was saying in her ear. “I’m close to you. I’m in Shane’s cottage and I can easily get under the window. You won’t have to leave the house to get the package to me. You’re clear on the second floor. He’s got all his guards on the outer periphery. Declan is going to drive me out with the excuse that he’s got to pick up Mr. Hunt’s prescription in town. They’ve been told to give Josh anything he wants. They won’t check the trunk. It would be insulting.”
Poor Riley. She wondered how he’d drawn that duty. Despite the fact that the limo had a nice-sized trunk, she doubted it would be comfy for him.
She stopped, some instinct deep inside her telling her she wasn’t alone.
Ezra paused beside her and suddenly there was a Ruger in his hand. “Where is it?”
“I can’t tell,” she replied quietly.
“You okay? I’m not picking anyone up,” Riley assured her.
She couldn’t help it. Perhaps she was too emotional, too close to the heart of the op. She was sensing things that weren’t there.
“Let’s get into the office,” Ezra urged. “We’re in the open out here. Come on.”
She followed him up the stairs. He was right. They needed to get this done and she would feel better. She would meet up with Josh and they would have one last night together.
It was five minutes and then she would be done and she could get on with the rest of her life.
She used the security card she’d lifted off Morales earlier at dinner and the door clicked open. Thanks to her boys, the guards wouldn’t get that notification either.
“All right, Kay. I’m coming to you. Be there in roughly three minutes.”
The line went dead and she was on her own.
She glanced over at Ezra. “Riley’s on his way. We’re making the drop via…well, drop. I’m dropping it out the window.”
He nodded, glancing around the wood-paneled office before holding out a drive of his own. “Make me a copy?”
He really didn’t trust Levi if he wanted his own copy. She plugged in the drive to the computer’s USB port and let the program it uploaded start to work.
Her heart rate was up. Damn, maybe she was right to get out of the business. Lately all she’d been doing were corporate jobs and bodyguard assignments. She was off her game.
She wanted out of the game. She greatly preferred hanging with Tucker and the Lost Boys to risking her life. In the beginning she’d found her inner adrenaline junkie, but over the years she wanted peace more than some thrill.
Josh would think Tucker and the boys were a hoot. It would have been fun to introduce him to her world. Josh was like a sponge. Perhaps it was all the years of going without learning, only surviving from day to day, but Josh was so vibrant when he was learning something new. He soaked up every experience.
Huh, funny. That was what they had in common, a thirst for life, for new experiences, for stories untold and people they hadn’t met yet. He was quieter about it, as though he didn’t trust he would get the experience if he wanted it too much.
Could it be that he wanted her too much and he didn’t trust the world to let him have her?
“Are you going to be okay? I heard Josh didn’t handle the truth well.” Ezra moved to the front of the desk.
Big Tag was such a gossip. “I’m fine. Well, not fine. I ache. I hate this part of the love thing. This part sucks, but I knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it if I told him. I made the choice. I couldn’t send him in here alone even if it meant losing him.”
“And this DEA agent who tipped him off about Morales? You know anything
about him?”
“I’m working up a file on him, but he seems legit. I mean he’s DEA, shouldn’t he know who the drug lords are? If I were in Tyler Williams’s shoes, I would have told him, too.”
The device Levi had given her pinged and she changed it out for Ezra’s.
A few minutes more and they would be done.
“Why don’t you head out with Riley?” She didn’t like the idea that he could be found. The point of Riley taking the drive was so if she got caught, no one could connect her. There wouldn’t be any evidence that she’d taken a thing.
“Because I’m not leaving you here without backup.”
“Everything is fine. Riley’s got the cameras on a timer. I’ll have five minutes to get back. I only need two. If I get caught, I was looking at the paintings and didn’t realize how far I’d gotten from the ballroom. I’m good, Ez.” She turned to the window. The glass was beautifully paned and like everything in the mansion had a certain European flair. Many of the windows downstairs had been left open so the scent of the night-blooming jasmine could fill the ballroom. It appeared it was all on one security system. She opened the window and there was Riley, standing on the ground under it.
“I’m staying on,” Ezra replied. “I’m at least getting you to the ballroom. I’ll hike back through the jungle if you’re worried about getting caught with me in the car.”
Overprotective men. “Suit yourself.”
Not that she would actually let him hike back through the jungle in the dark. She would have to sneak him into Shane’s room.
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your thumb drive,” Riley said with a cocky grin.
Somehow it didn’t have the same impact. She dropped it down and he caught it with one hand. “Go. Get out of here as quick as you can. Tell Levi I’ll meet him at the airport tomorrow.”
Riley gave her a salute and then his long legs were taking him and the prize across the grounds and toward the place where Declan was waiting.
Ezra’s device pinged and she detached it, handing it over. “See. Job well done. Let’s get back to the ball.”
