Tyler turns to me as he answers Eli. “We didn’t discuss it yet.” Scratching his stubble coated jaw, he adds, “It’s Ivi’s call.” He sends me a soft smile. “I’m taking it easy on her.”
Feels like there are mountains of things related to Tyler’s world I have no clue of. Clearing my throat, I ask, “Um, what is it? This ceremony?”
“MTV video music awards,” Eli enlightens me in a stoic tone.
“It’s going to be on TV?” I ask the trivial question, a bit dumbfounded by the idea. Tyler’s stardom, public persona, is not something I took into account when weighing my decision to come back. Or perhaps I just kept it hidden at the back of my mind, disinclined to give it too much thought. Maybe I just knew that it would simply freak me out and make me take a few too many steps back.
“Yes. The TV part stands for television, miss Kert.” Eli deadpans.
Surprised by Tyler’s snap as he says Eli’s name admonishingly, I bite on my lip, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. It all happened so fast, but it’s clear to everyone in the room that Tyler has lost his patience.
Tyler brings his coffee to his lips, listening to Eli who quickly changes the narrative as he starts filling Tyler in on something that has to do with some benefit event or something like that. Tyler’s eyes move to me, slowly drinking me in, head to toe, as I’m about to excuse myself once more. He sets the mug on the table. “I don’t know,” Tyler tells Eli while standing up and walking over to where I stand. “That venue,” he says on a breath, dropping to sit on his haunches before me. Startled, both Eli’s, Adina and my gaze follow him to where he’s crouched by my feet. “There’s something about it,” he says, signaling for me to bring my foot up to his thigh. “I don’t like it. See if they can find an alternative.”
Finishing my shoe lace tie, he gently removes my foot back to the floor. My heart climbs up to lodge somewhere in my throat. I look at him in sweet bewilderment. Love is in the details. Slowly standing up, Tyler kisses my cheek and turns to Eli who’s watching Tyler with his mouth slightly hanging. Squinting my gaze, I catch Adina nodding to herself with that clandestine smile she’s developed since seeing Tyler and I kiss after Christmas.
Tyler’s hand moves to cup my neck. He leans forward, “We’ll talk about the awards thing later, when we’re alone.” Dipping lower, he gently kisses my lips.
Eyes slightly cast down with emotions, I mumble, “Later,” before leaving the kitchen.
Diet Journal, Day 1: Weight loss goal: 10 pounds. Time to complete goal: 2 days. Summary: Not happening, dude! I don’t do diet! ...and what am I going to wear!?
Ivi’s I’m — freaking — out — I’m — going — to — mingle — with — beautiful — famous — national — treasures —journal entry less than a week before the award ceremony.
“Who’s going to be there?” I ask Tyler, admiring the familiar backdrop we pass on our ride to meet with some people at Raging Bitch, that tiny, charming dive bar Jay once took me to. I couldn’t stop my elated snort when Tyler told me how the bar got its glamorous name. Apparently, a long while ago, the bar was called Kirk’s after its owner, but after his divorce a few years back, Kirk decided to name it in honor of his ex.
Taking a turn, eyes on the road ahead, Tyler answers my question, “Killer, Max, Jay. I think Killer is brining Sophia.”
I nod to the window.
“So, did you decide what you want to do?”
I give Tyler a quizzical side glance.
“The VMAs.” Tyler elaborates, bringing back the MTV award ceremony we discussed before leaving home. Home . . . Jury’s still out on this one. To me, it feels like we’re taking giant steps, Tyler and I, even though we’ve agreed to take-us-slowly. I should really bring up the thing that I’ve been trying to discuss with Tyler, but couldn’t find the appropriate time. Or simply chickened out.
I worry my lips, turning to look at him. “Do you mind waiting to out me?”
Tyler twists his mouth, taking a pensive pause. He shakes his head. “No,” comes out on an exhale. “I’m okay with whatever makes you feel comfortable.” Pulling the car to a stop in the bar’s parking lot, Tyler pivots to face me. “Like we agreed, you set the pace.” Then, “Fame, no matter how you get it is a trap. I don’t want you sucked into it before you’re completely prepared.”
I take his hand in mine and bring it to my lips for a light kiss. Linking our fingers together, I look up at him. “I just feel like we need some time alone together, with nothing influencing us. I think that for now I want to be selfish, have our thing to ourselves. I’m well-aware of the fact that I’m sharing you with the world, but sharing what we have . . . it’s too soon for me.”
Tyler nods, wordlessly supporting me.
“Umm, speaking of us,” I give Tyler a quick, hesitant smile. “I was thinking about finding my own place.” Assessing, I study his features as they set in a displeased, quizzical expression.
Tyler folds his arms across his chest. “Where’s that coming from?”
“We’re . . . how shall I put it? We’ve just started, um . . . dating, and — ” I try to put into words thoughts I’ve been struggling to puzzle up in my own head since I boarded the plane back to L.A.
Seeming to evaluate what I’m trying to get across, Tyler intercepts my attempt at reasoning. “Ivi, Ivi. Look at me.” Getting my attention, he goes on. “We’re way past dating.” Dating comes out with a fairly derisive lilt. “For the life of me, I can’t see any logical reason for you to find your own place. I have over eight bedrooms, not that I want you in any other bedroom but mine.”
A loud thump on the driver’s window has us both jerk to face it. Max’s toothy grin glued to the window, fogging it up, prompts collective easy chuckles from Tyler and me.
“Dimwit,” Tyler murmurs under his breath. Rolling down the window just enough for Max to hear him, Tyler says, “We’re coming,” and he rolls it back up. He turns back to me. “Whatever is going on in that pretty head of yours, stop it. We’re together, and we are everything that it stands for.”
Reassuring as his words are, there’s still this feeling, this niggling feeling that maybe we’re putting the cart before the wild horse that is our unusual coupling.
I clear my throat. Returning Tyler’s calculating stare from under my lashes, I clear my throat again. “By thinking about finding my own place,” I bite my lip. “I mean, I sort of found one.” I choose not to add that it’s in one of the worst neighborhoods in the area, nor that it smells of the Indian food from the restaurant on the first floor, or the suspicious dark crimson spot I found next to the fold up bed.
Tyler’s frown deepens. He parts his lips to speak, but before he’s able to utter a word, I shake my head and say, “Tyler, please let me do this my way.”
“What up people?” Killer greets us as we join the gang sitting around two high tables joined together. Max, Jay, Killer, Sophia and a new face that belongs to a guy called Zade.
I smile at the group and Tyler nods. “Everything’s copacetic,” he throws his phone and wallet on the table.
“My love,” Max exclaims and rises to stand, his palm spread on his heart. Heading our way, he manages to squeeze himself between Sophia who remains with her arms spread, ready for a hug, and me.
I squeal when Max’s arms band around me and lift me up. “Put your lips on mine, Lady Ivi.”
Wordless, but with a look that could easily slaughter a grownup human being, Tyler releases me from Max’s roaming hands. He tugs me on to his side, giving Max another warning glance.
Pocketing his hand into his leather pants, Max shakes his head and tips his chin at Tyler. “What does he have that I don’t?”
Tyler rolls his eyes while I let out a giggle.
With a sweet little smile, I look up at Tyler. “My heart.”
I guess “my heart” is some sort of passcode for: “Tyler please stick your tongue in my mouth and suck the life out of me by the mother of all kisses.” Because that’s what he d
oes, catching me utterly off guard. Stunned and with my knees somewhat weak, I gasp a little to bring myself back to breathing human form rather than a frothing, panting putty in Tyler Lee Adams’ hands.
Mustering nonchalance which I’m pretty sure no one buys, what with the heat my cheeks are radiating, I face the group. The group of smirking faces, that is. I squint at Tyler, ready to shoot him a scolding glance. I’m mildly baffled by his cool demeanor. Feels like he’s more than a few steps ahead in this game. I’m still getting used to being with him, especially in company of other people while he seems to have zero damns to give.
Not more than five minutes later, I feel at home. Like I’ve never left. The group is entirely indifferent about me being with Tyler, as though it was anticipated. Each with a drink and a smile, conversation flows with random laughter, chatter, and quiet pauses as sips are stolen from glasses and bottles. In the middle of recounting an anecdote of that one-time Tyler fell asleep sitting straight up with coconut water in his hand in his dressing room during the last tour, Killer’s eyes drop to Max’s pants.
“What up with the Village People look, man?” Killer asks Max.
Our collective attention turns to Max’s tight, as in I’m not sure how he’ll manage to peel them off later, leather pants.
Max grins. “Besides looking like a god?” That earns him a couple of eye rolls, a snort, and a peanut to his forehead. “See it’s actually genius.” He slaps his leather clad thigh. “If I get shitfaced and piss myself no one will notice.”
Tyler’s animated gaze meets mine and he shakes his head. He leans closer and whispers, “He really shouldn’t be let out on his own, let alone be allowed to mingle with other people.” I respond with a grin.
“How does your mind even go there,” Jay says in mocked bewilderment and adds, “it’s beyond disturbing.” Low laughter follows.
Leaning a little closer, Tyler’s lips press against the pulsating vein in my neck. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he murmurs to my slowly heating skin.
Catching Sophia’s eyes on us, I reciprocate Tyler’s kiss with a chaste peck on his cheek, bringing to an end our little display of affection. I’m not one to shy away from a little PDA, but when the audience is this attentive, it makes me a tad uncomfortable. In an attempt to avoid Sophia’s laser eyes, my own gaze roams around the room only to find out that we, our group, are the only patrons in the bar. “Slow night tonight,” I say as an afterthought.
“Kirk closes up the place for us,” Tyler says casually.
I frown. “Doesn’t it hurt his business?”
Tyler gives me a gentle smile that comes together with a tender gaze. “Don’t worry. I make sure he’s compensated for that.”
“You do?” The notion surprises me. My heart sighs with warmth. “That’s kind of you.”
Tyler’s lips tug at the side. He shrugs. “I try.”
I look at him. Really look at him. My eyes bore into his, and I can’t take them away. The small things he does. The real man. His kindness, his sweetness. I choke up on feelings. He cocks his head, eyes running between mine. The way he looks at me, the way I see myself through his eyes. I’ve never felt as special. I run my gaze between his eyes. My adoration transpires though the warm smile easing my lips.
“What?” He asks through a sweet chuckle.
I shrug. “Just you.” And then I add, “Being you.”
Tyler’s arm winds around my shoulder, squeezing me to him. He plants a kiss to my temple, taking a lungful. On an exhale, he whispers, “I adore you, Kiisu.”
Tonight, feeling ridiculously happy, I let go a little, letting myself drink a bit more than my usual one glass limit. Sipping from my second appletini, I raise my eyes to Sophia who takes the seat next to me, the one Jay just vacated. Sophia takes a swig of her own drink and rolls her eyes at the conversation about vintage guitars taking place around us. “I need some girl talk, like right now.”
I clink my glass with hers, “Talk to me.” I let her pull me into a conversation about my return, one that involves more questions than I’m inclined to answer, but I go with it. Alcohol does that to me, makes me friendly and chatty.
“Now?” I ask Tyler, giving him a sidelong glance. He trades glances between the window shield and me, seeming determined. “It’s what? Midnight?”
“So?” He retorts. “You said you found a place, I want to see it.”
“Do we really need to do it right now?” Sure, instead of going home to the warm bed awaiting us, why don’t we roam the streets instead.
“Yeah.”
When no other reaction besides the resolute one word comes from his side, I shake my head in reluctant compliance. “Fine.” I give him the address.
Tyler is quiet throughout the longish ride, besides one little comment about how far away my “new place” is from his house. I don’t respond to his comment. Seems like mentioning that I can’t afford anything near him would start a whole new conversation I’m not too keen on having.
“This is the place?” Tyler asks twenty minutes later, narrowing his gaze under the sole lamppost in the relatively dark street. When a group of young men pass by us, Tyler’s lips flatten into a grim line. I squint at the group with their beer cans in hand and their overall juvenile delinquent appearance.
“Ivi — ”
Just by his tone alone, I know what’s coming next, and quickly intercept his next words. “Tyler,” I take his hand in mine. “Let me do it my way.” My soft smile doesn’t do much to appease him.
“Christ, Ivi.” His expression hardens. “You’ll get yourself — ”
Once again, I cut him off. “Tyler, I can take care of myself. This place has nothing on some of the places I’ve been before.”
“And this should reassure me somehow?” Tyler’s eyes shine with exasperation. “Do you even know how important you are to me?”
I love you so much, sits on the tip of my tongue. “You’re important to me too, Tyler. Immensely,” comes out of my mouth instead.
“Am I?” His eyes narrow at me. “Then don’t put yourself at risk, don’t do it for my sake.”
“You’re not playing fair.”
“I’m not?” He folds his arms across his chest. “Caring about you and trying to prevent you from getting assul . . . Jesus, I don’t even want to think about it.”
Seeing that this impasse we found ourselves in won’t resolve itself, I try a different approach. “Umm, how about I ask Ben to check the locks on the door just before I move in?”
Tyler throws his eyes up, saying: as if that’ll help. “The only way I’ll be okay with this, which I still don’t understand why you insist on it, is have him assign someone to you.”
“A bodyguard?” I swear, I really try to stop the snort that follows, which only makes Tyler look a little less jubilant. “Listen, we’re not getting anywhere, why don’t we just drop it. I promise to be careful.” Flushing a smile at him, I add, “I’ll get pepper spray!”
Tyler’s testy expression deepens. “When are you planning to move out?”
Forgive me for beautifying the truth. At this moment, I’m pretty positive that if I uttered the original date, tomorrow, I’ll start world war three. “Ah, sometime toward the end of next week.”
Giving me an inscrutable glance, he turns to look out the window. “I’m asking you not to, that’s my final comment.” He ends our talk, bringing the engine to life.
It’s only when we get home and get ready for bed that Tyler appears to finally calm down . . . a little. Not sure if our earlier disagreement constitutes a fight, an argument perhaps, but whatever it was, it weighs like lead in my stomach.
We lie silently in bed, Tyler though somewhat less irritated is still distant, making me second guess my decision to move out. Maybe if it’s that important to him that I stay, I should just stay. Stay. I slowly scoot closer to him, glad to find his arm open, inviting me to snuggle by his side.
An incoming text ping sounds like a horn as it rips the sil
ence in the room.
With his free hand, Tyler retrieves his phone from the nightstand. I can feel him shake his head before letting out a frustrated huff.
“What’s wrong?” I ask in a small voice.
“It’s Eli,” he says and flings the device back to its resting place. “There are already speculations about you.”
What? How? “Me?” I croak out.
“Someone must have talked.” Tyler turns to lie on his side, his eyes searching mine under the dimly lit room. “Welcome to my world.”
I don’t answer, I just lean forward to kiss his lips. Faking coolness, I show him with my kisses and body how nothing but him really matters.
“Love is simple and pure, we are the ones who complicate it with our doubts and insecurities and the fear of giving ourselves completely to someone else.”
A philosophical thought penetrating Ivi’s mind as she stretches before a run.
I tie my shoelaces and secure my phone in the armband wrapped around my bicep, ready to go for a run. The sun painting the day in bright warmth lured me to have my run outside, in the open fresh air rather than in the confines of the indoor gym. I pop by the kitchen to refill my water bottle, finding Adina setting up a tray with morning goodies.
“Morning.” I steal a fresh strawberry from the tray. “Are they in the living room?” I ask Adina, referring to a meeting between Tyler, Eli, and the guys Tyler mentioned while kissing my neck just before he left the bedroom half an hour ago.
“Yes, darling,” Adina nods to the pot of steaming coffee.
Snatching another piece of fruit and a nice bundle of cookies, I wink at her. “I’ll use the backdoor, don’t want to interfere with matters of great importance.”
Adina mirrors my cheeky grin.
Passing by Oscar, the guard manning the main gate, I offer a quick good morning and the bundle of cookies I “borrowed” from the tray. He grins at me in return and presses the button that lifts the gate. This place is secured like a military base. Plunging my earbuds in, I bring up the music app. Taking a lungful of the crisp, late morning air, I commence my stretching. Short moments later, I wave at Oscar and start my run. It’s a beautiful morning of bright sun and green leafy trees dancing in the light wind. With a thin smile on my face I head up the small hill that leads to the main road surrounded by lofty palm trees.
Unplugged II: Unplugged, #2 Page 5
