What the devil, he thought. Is she afraid of me now? Am I acting that badly? “Come here now, Bethany.”
“No.”
Letting out a sigh, he walked back to his desk and sat down. First he looked at her, then at her chair. Ginny turned to look at the door, then back at him. What the hell, I might make it. She ran toward the door and reached down to find the key gone from the lock. She hadn't noticed that he'd taken it.
“Looking for this?” Colin was so close, she could feel his breath in her ear. She turned slowly and faced him. Placing the key back into his pocket, he walked forward until she had no choice but to have her back up against the door. There was no escape, even if she got around him. Jumping out the window was no option, even if they were on the first floor.
Putting his face right up to hers, he whispered, “I won't have you afraid of me, Bethany.”
“Then stop scaring me, Colin.”
He chuckled at her then bent his head to kiss her. She would be his wife soon enough, so it didn't seem unreasonable to take a small taste before the ceremony. When she didn't loosen up, he took his hand and pulled on her chin to get her to open her mouth. She finally relented and began to kiss him back. With her up against the door, he could use his hands to explore her tender skin and body.
Ginny hated herself for relenting. She wanted nothing more than to kick him in the nuts right now, steal the key and get the hell out of there. Or did she? It was becoming painfully obvious that she wanted him. Not only physically, but she wanted the friendship back as well. So, if she was going to relent, she might as well get something out of it. Taking her arms, she wrapped them around his neck.
Colin pulled away from her lips and began to kiss down her neck. First he pulled her arms away from him, then he pushed the sleeves of her gown down off her shoulders. He kissed the newly exposed flesh. Colin reached up and cradled one of Bethany's breasts with his hand. Just as Ginny felt herself slipping into the passion of the moment, there was a knock on the door.
Ginny screamed. It had been so quiet, just their breathing and heartbeats. Then, out of nowhere, a loud insistent knocking.
“Are you alright in there?” It was Pearce, obviously back from whatever task Colin had sent him on.
“Yes, of course, one moment, Pearce.” Colin took her sleeves and placed them back where they belonged on her shoulders. Knowing he had to handle things differently in order to get her to capitulate, he asked gently, “Please have a seat. We have much to discuss.”
“Alright,” she replied, returning to her chair.
Colin opened the door and spoke to his butler for a few minutes. Ginny heard him say thank you and he was soon behind his desk again. His face a mask, nothing showing beyond what he wanted shown. He now knew how to handle her and used this knowledge to his advantage.
“I believe you will find the modiste in town quite useful. She has made many wedding dresses for local society. Can I have the carriage ordered for you and your mother after breakfast?”
Ginny knew she was being played, but wasn't in the mood for more drama. “Yes, thank you.”
“Perhaps you can join your parents for breakfast and determine if there is anyone within a reasonable distance that you would like invited to the wedding.”
“I don't know for sure, but since we live so far from here, I would doubt it. Perhaps my parents have relatives nearby, though they've not mentioned it to me. I will definitely ask, though.”
“Thank you.”
“Your welcome.”
With that, Colin went back to his paperwork and Ginny left. She closed the door and leaned against it. She did like kissing him and she loved talking to him about almost anything. She thought he was truly someone she could fall in love with, someday. She just wanted to do the right thing, but like life, she didn't always know what that was. And like life, everything could come crashing down before her eyes.
Chapter 12
The next fews days flew by in a flurry of activity. Flowers needing arranging, tables set up, food prepared, the ballroom cleaned, dresses fitted and vicar employed. Ginny found herself alone less and less as she was consulted on preparations, pinned and prodded by the modiste and tortured by her own maid trying to figure out the best hairstyle for the ball after the wedding. It should have all been fun, exciting, but instead, it was torturous and annoying.
Colin ignored her the entire week, even going so far as to leave a room when she entered. How could the other guests not notice? Rumors started to fly, mostly perpetrated by the men who entered the bet. They were all informed that they had lost and Whitmore had won. They all assumed that was the reason for the swiftness of the ceremony. And they all told as many people as would listen, speculating and exaggerating the current state of the bride's womb.
Ginny felt humiliated. She didn't care what other people thought about her, but she did care what Colin thought. And since he was making his feelings on the subject perfectly clear, the talk from everyone else hurt just that much more. Her mother spent a lot of time with her, trying to cheer her up. Eugenia was even able to make her laugh, trying to explain the birds and bees. She became so flustered, and Ginny kept asking ever more embarrassing questions for her own amusement, the whole situation was not just hilarious, but completely useless as far as practical information was concerned. Not that Ginny didn't already know everything she needed to know.
The day before the wedding, Colin's mother and sister arrived. Ginny wasn't there to greet them since she was busy with her final fitting. The modiste was going on and on about her creation. To Ginny, it looked like every other gown in her closet. At this point, Ginny would rather get married in a pair of jeans and her favorite old sneakers.
After the dressmaker finished, Ginny was summoned to the private family drawing room to meet her future in-laws. She was nervous, but again didn't understand why. If she didn't like them, she
would probably barely ever see them anyway. She only had to make nice for a few days.
Entering the room, every eye turned at once to look at her. Smiling, taking a deep breath, she went to stand before an elegant older woman, with her silver white hair done in a bun. Colin had gotten his eyes from her, but it would appear nothing else. Ginny had seen a portrait of his father and didn't think he looked much like him either. Genes could be a funny thing, but infidelity was even funnier and probably more likely.
Colin, from across the room by the window, stated, “Mother, please allow me to introduce my fiancée, Miss Bethany Hamilton.” His voice was matter-of-fact and his face was the picture of nothingness. It made her angry that he would treat her with such insignificance in front of his family. Once the introduction had been made, he turned back to gaze out the window.
Ginny curtsied to the woman who stood up and gave her a hug. “It is such a pleasure to meet you, Miss Hamilton. You are such a lovely girl.”
Smiling genuinely for the first time in days, Ginny replied, “Please call me Bethany. And the pleasure is mine, Lady Whitmore.”
“Pish-posh. It is not everyone who would marry my stubborn son. Now, please let me introduce my daughter, Lady Evelyn Collingsford and her husband Lord Collingsford.”
Ginny turned toward the couple on the opposite settee. Colin's sister resembled his mother to a tee, although where the mother's hair was white, the daughter's was a lightly highlighted brunette. Both women were an average height and trim of body. Lord Collingsford was tall, with sandy brown hair and blue eyes. He was quite handsome, in a boy next door sort of way.
“I'm so glad you could all make it on such short notice. I hope it didn't inconvenience you too much to be here.”
Colin snorted from the window and Ginny turned a glare in his direction. The look wasn't lost on the Collingsfords, who in turn exchanged a glance. Ginny needed to get a hold of the situation and fast. Nothing put people at ease like serving refreshments, according to the Bethany handbook on etiquette.
“Shall I order some tea?” she asked smiling at her
future in-laws.
“Yes, that would be lovely,” Lady Whitmore exclaimed. “Then you shall sit next to me so we may become better acquainted.”
Ginny went to pull the bell pull, which was located next to Colin. He couldn't be bothered with walking the two feet to pull it for her. Ginny had deluded herself during the week that everything would be alright, but now, his behavior in front of his own mother, seemed to indicate otherwise.
After speaking to the footman, Ginny sat next to Lady Whitmore. The dowager countess was asking so many questions that Ginny wasn't even sure what she was answering half the time. Both Colin's mother and sister did everything in their power to make Ginny feel better, knowing that Colin was behaving so badly.
After the tea was served, Lady Whitmore asked, “So, Bethany, do you hope to start a family right away?”
At this, Colin finally decided to join the conversation. “Mother, we have yet to discuss babies.”
“I was only thinking that I would love more grandchildren. You see, Bethany, I do not live far from my daughter so I am graced with seeing my two grandchildren almost every week. I know it is not fashionable to want to be around children, but they are so sweet.”
Ginny smiled. She remembered how her mother would fawn over her nieces and nephews every chance she got. Being a grandmother was the best of both worlds: access to cute kids and being able to leave when you're tired.
Before she could answer the countess, Colin said, “Bethany is too busy reading to want to deal with children.”
What? Ginny took a deep breath before she said something to her ass of a fiancé. She put on her nearly perfected fake smile and said, “My first morning here, Colin caught me reading his newspaper. I thought the butler would flay me alive for having taken it. It was our first conversation, discussing the articles.”
“Yes, mother. Bethany is full of opinions. Damn near bluestocking, some might say.” He didn't even bother to turn from the window, like he said his insult in passing.
Choosing to ignore his tone, she expounded, “It's true. I love to read and learn about different places. One of my favorite topics is discussing the new American form of government. Colin and I used to
have pretty lively discussions over it.” Ginny had trouble keeping the regret from her voice.
Before her son could make another nasty comment, Lady Whitmore said, “Really. I should like to know more about it. Perhaps you and I will have a chance to discuss it. I see that Lord Collingsford seems quite interested in the subject as well.”
“I am indeed, Miss Hamilton. I am quite involved in Parliament and would love to hear your take on the American system. I know so few people who know anything about it.”
“I am quite familiar. How long had you intended to stay after the wedding?”
Lord Collingsford, who up until that moment kept quiet and observed the dynamic, said, “We have no set plans. Obviously Lady Collingsford does not wish to be away from the children for too long.”
“Why didn't you bring them along? I would have loved to meet them.”
The conversation continued, but Colin stopped listening. Staring at the window at his beloved gardens, he thought of all he was going to miss by being stuck here making heirs and living with a woman he could only look upon with contempt. She was the same girl he'd met a fortnight ago, with the same opinions and the same quirky sense of humor, but now it had all soured. If only he'd met her on his way back from his holiday, they would have been a good match.
Lost in his own thoughts, mired in his anger, Colin didn't even notice that his mother and sister had taken their leave. Turning in time to see Ginny collecting the cups and placing them back on the tray. He watched her as she used a napkin to wipe up a spill on the table. “What are you doing?”
Not even bothering to look up, she replied, “Cleaning up, Colin. Perhaps you'd like to tell your mother how horrible I am for cleaning up after myself. Or how I sometimes sleep with my mouth open. Or how I don't like mutton.”
Before he could reply, she walked out of the room. Am I really going to marry this man tomorrow? Why would I marry someone who acts like a damn child who didn't get his way? And why would I ever have children with that man?
Ginny woke up early as usual and rang for Tabby. When the little maid entered the room, she was a bundle of excitement. Chattering away about this and that, Ginny stopped her.
“Can you just get me dressed so I can go and talk to Lord Whitmore?” Ginny hadn't slept a wink, all because she wondered if she should go through with it. She felt that if she married him, she would be caught in a quagmire she couldn't escape and might be stuck here. It wasn't until she'd married and got pregnant in her last novel adventure that she ended up here. Ginny was sick trying to figure out what to do.
“Miss, I would imagine he is getting ready himself. It would not be proper for you to go to his chambers, especially this time of the morning.” Tabby looked distressed.
“I'm marrying him in a few hours, Tabby. Do you think it will make a difference?”
Looking pensive and using an intuition Ginny didn't know she had, she asked, “Will you be marrying him in a few hours?”
“I don't know.”
“Miss, I know he has been... distant, but it is most likely because he is nervous. Marrying is a big change for a man who has been a bachelor a long time. You mustn't read too much into it.”
“I just need to be reassured, Tabby. If he really wants to marry me, he'll tell me, right?”
“Wait here.” Before an objection could be uttered, Tabby was gone. Standing in her nightgown, Ginny walked over and sat in one of chairs. Lifting her legs, she tucked them up against her and wrapped her arms around them. Ginny was beginning to feel childish. Tabby was right... just do it and pick up the pieces that fall later.
The door opened and Ginny turned to find her fiancé standing in the doorway. “Your maid said you needed me for something.” He was fully dressed, in black coat and pants. His white shirt and cravat stood out against both the black outfit and his tanned skin. The only color was on his burgundy waistcoat. Ginny thought he looked very debonair.
“I wanted to talk to you about the wedding.”
“Everything has been taken care of, you need not worry about anything.”
“I'm not worried about the ceremony. I was worried about the groom.” The last word was almost a whisper, waiting to see his reaction.
Colin closed the door and walked to the hearth. It felt to Ginny that he was holding something back. Anger, regret. Whatever it was, it wasn't good. “You pick a fine time to worry about me, Bethany. In a few hours, we will be man and wife.”
Ginny could read the writing on the wall. This was not going to go well. He would behave today, but tomorrow or whenever their guests left, he would change into something horrible. Ginny didn't worry he'd beat her. God knew if he tried he'd be in for a big surprise in the form of a frying pan, but he would be cold and distant, probably cruelly so.
Exhausting the air from her lungs in a heavy sigh, she proclaimed, “I made a mistake. I will not marry you today.”
“The hell you won't.” His eyes flashed with something, not anger, but despair. He grabbed both her arms and pulled her out of the chair. His hands shook as he grabbed her face and began to kiss her. He forced his tongue into her closed mouth and he rubbed her back gently. He hadn't touched her all week, not since that morning in his study. Ginny was instantly drawn in, kissing him back with as much fervor as he was showing her.
Not realizing how it happened, suddenly Ginny was lying on her bed and he was on top of her. Straddling her legs, Colin continued the kiss, while slowly exploring her body with this hands. He was all to aware that there was only one layer separating him from her and could be easily disposed of at a moment's notice.
They both stopped thinking and began only feeling. Ginny's hands reached into his hair then came down to rub his chest. She realized he was more muscle than she originally thought. Soon her hands were
unbuttoning his jacket, wanted to touch the flesh underneath.
Colin had found her breasts and coaxed the nipples erect with his fingers. It pained him not to kiss them, taste them. Reaching up, he pulled the ribbon at the top of the nightgown. Before he could pull it down, feel the soft flesh underneath, the door opened and in walked Tabby.
“Oh, I am sorry, miss... I will... please excuse me...” Tabby sputtered before leaving the room.
It wasn't much, but it was enough. Colin collected his senses and stood up immediately. The only evidence of their encounter was his bulging erection through his tight pants and a few buttons undone on his jacket. Using the back of his sleeve, he wiped at his mouth and walked over to the hearth to calm down.
Ginny sat up and closed her eyes. What the hell? How was he able to do that to me? To take her mind off what had happened, she consciously worked on slowing down her breathing. Once she'd achieved that, she opened her eyes and looked at him. He was staring back at her, his face unreadable, hard as stone.
“Will you be there today?” Only his voice betrayed his feelings, again he seemed desperate.
“Do you really want me to be there?” Ginny was never one to take what she could get. She always seemed to want more.
“Yes, please.”
His simple declaration was enough to put her at ease. Maybe it could be alright, she thought. She nodded her affirmation. He bowed and left the room, with Tabby entering right afterward.
“That is why you should not go to his room before the wedding. I would not have walked in on you there, would I?”
“No, you wouldn't have. I'm hungry. Can I get some breakfast?”
“I will have a tray brought up, miss. I am not going to let you out of my sight again.”
A Lesson in Forgiveness Page 11
