“If you speak such lies to my father or Shalee, I will kill you with my bare hands,” he threatened icily, haunted by his loss of memory, abruptly realizing how terrible this same ailment must have been for his precious Shalee.
“I will tell no one, my love. Not because I fear for my life, but because you would hate me even more. Besides, my life will end when our child is born and you send me away. How can I live without you?”
Gray Eagle’s body was taut with rage and dismay. Was the guilt his to bear? Was the child his responsibility? Was there even a child at all? “I do not believe you carry a child, Leah. Your body will soon reveal the truth.”
“Your power is great, Wanmdi Hota, but you cannot order or wish our child away. If you wish to claim him as brother, I cannot stop you. You can deny we made love that night, but it will be a lie. Your pride is larger than your father’s. Where was your pride when the heat of lust consumed you? You wanted me and needed me that one night, but Shalee returned and took you from me. Have I not been punished and hurt enough? I will lose you and our son. How can I ever forget what it was like to taste your kisses and body, to feel your manhood driving wildly into my body until I could think of only you and having you again? You enslave not only my body, but my heart and passions as well. Go away and stop tormenting me. Deny our child if you must, but he is still from your seed.”
Gray Eagle did not realize Leah had just won her victory, but she did. She was only too aware of Shalee standing in the entrance, staring at her husband’s broad back in agonizing disbelief. “You call me evil and wicked, but you are the evil and cruel one! I did not cast a spell of love over you; you cast yours over me. How can I deny these feelings that haunt me each night? How can I forget what it was like to love you, to feel your arms around me, to taste your lips, to know the smell and touch of your body? How can I forget what it was like when you drove him into me time and time again until I cried out with pleasure? Even now I want you,” she fiercely and boldly admitted.
“I should cut out your lying tongue, white whore. I desire and love no woman but Shalee. I did not join with you that night.”
“Perhaps not in heart or mind, but you did in body. What would Shalee think and feel if she knew about that night?” she mildly hinted.
“You dare to threaten me!” he exploded angrily.
Running Wolf hastily questioned the turbulent argument that he could not comprehend. Gray Eagle glanced over at his concerned, probing stare. It was time to confess the truth and expose the depth of Leah’s evil and treachery. Perhaps his own wavering would assuage some of his father’s guilt. He sighed heavily and began his astonishing tale.
He told his father about the night Leah came to his tepee to seduce him while he was drugged on the peyote buttons. He went on to relate the two times she had attempted to entrap and to lure him with her skills. He spoke of how he had refused her, even amidst his grief and pain. “Now, she claims I made love to her that first night and the child is mine. She lies, Father; I did not touch her.”
A point previously ignored came rushing back to Running Wolf. To Gray Eagle’s alarm, he hesitantly informed his son, “She was not pure the night I took her.” He went on to explain how Leah’s sensual actions had enticed him to take her. “The mating fever came over me and I took her before I could master my fiery body. But she did not fight me, my son; she yielded to me. Other nights, she provoked me while I was held in her powers. If you cannot recall that night, are you certain she did not also provoke you beyond reason or control?” he asked fretfully, their conversation in rapid Oglala, denying Leah most of their words, but not the distraught Shalee.
Leah smothered her pleased smile, knowing whatever they were discussing was playing havoc upon her rival. Was Gray Eagle confessing his deeds? Was he admitting to a blank void on that all-important night? Still, her scheme couldn’t work if she didn’t get pregnant soon! How? Who?
“What should we do, my son? Your loss of memory is as deadly as Shalee’s was. Can you swear the child is not yours?” he pressed worriedly, knowing the damage Leah’s claims would inspire.
“I do not recall such things, Father.” Gray Eagle spoke honestly and reluctantly. “She did come to me and try to lie with me. But I do not think I touched her, not in that way. I was dreaming she was Shalee. I held her and kissed her, but I do not recall entering her body.”
“Then we must say nothing to Shalee,” his father vainly concluded. “I will accept the blame if she carries a child. If not, the matter will end.”
“I will ask the Great Spirit to return my memory as He did Shalee’s. I must know the truth. If she bears my child, I cannot stain your face with my dishonor.”
Her world torn assunder now by the new possibilities, Shalee could listen no longer. Anguish violently rocked her world of trust and love. How could she look into the face of his child by another woman? How could she ever allow him to touch her again, knowing he had claimed Leah’s purity and placed his seeds within her sinful body? How could it ever be good and right between them again? Leah had lusted after her husband; in a way, she had won her demonic battle for him. How could he deny himself the sons she obviously couldn’t give him? How could he truthfully claim she was enough for him? Within days of her alleged tragic loss, he had been surrendering to that greedy succubus! Not just another woman, but Leah Winston! Her heart ravaged, she walked through camp toward the stream.
White Arrow passed her near the edge of camp. When he spoke to her, she never even heard him or replied. He swiftly pursued her and grasped her arm. “Shalee? Does something trouble you?” he asked.
The eyes of his longtime friend that met his were glazed with agony and sadness. “I wish I had never remembered our life together,” she mysteriously stated, baffling him. “If not for my son, I would also wish I had not escaped that raging river to fight a more traitorous force.”
“I do not understand,” he said in confusion.
Shalee laughed, a wintry and disturbing sound. “Neither do I, White Arrow. Neither do I… sometimes it is best to forget good in order to forget evil. The whites have won, for I have been defeated and punished. For once, I wish I did not know English. God, how I wish I were deaf,” she wailed in anguish.
“Come, I will take you to your tepee. Some new fever clouds your mind,” he speculated aloud, fretting over her agitated mental state.
“No, my friend. Do you realize we were friends long before Gray Eagle accepted me? I’ve often wondered what my life would be like if my people had captured you instead of him or if he had sold me to you long ago.”
What wild words was she speaking and thinking? Why would she recall such things from the past? Her mood was bewildering, haunting. Dread washed over him. Something was terribly wrong. What?
“You must explain your cloudy words to me, Grass Eyes,” he coaxed.
She smiled sadly. “Do you remember the day you gave me that name? Remember how I teased you about naming you Black Eyes, Sapa Ista? So many times you befriended me and helped me. How could I have survived this long without you? So many times you reasoned with Gray Eagle when he fiercely rejected me or harshly punished me. How different things would be today if Matu hadn’t…”
In horror he clamped his hand over her mouth. “Silence, Shalee!” he hastily warned. “To reveal her ruse would endanger your life and happiness. Why do you speak of such treachery and peril? You are Indian now. No one must learn the truth!” he sternly ordered. How he wished these feelings of desire and affection would cease to torment him. If not for his best friend, Shalee would be his woman. He could not forget that Gray Eagle’s pride had almost compelled his friend to sell Alisha to him long ago. If things hadn’t worked out for them, she would now be his woman, perhaps his wife. He shook his head to clear it of such dangerous and traitorous thoughts. Shalee would never be his; she loved his best friend, as he loved her.
“What does it matter, White Arrow? Will their love and respect halt if they learned the truth after all thi
s time? Can’t they finally accept me for who and what I am?” she irrationally theorized.
“Think of Gray Eagle and Bright Arrow, Shalee. They would also suffer for your careless words. Why do you speak them tonight?” he probed.
“My son…” she murmured thoughtfully. “Yes, I must think of my son. A son is vital to a man, White Arrow. No man could deny his own flesh and blood.”
White Arrow gently seized her shoulders and shook her. “Tell me what hurts you so deeply, Grass Eyes,” he encouraged.
“The child Leah carries,” she softly responded, her hazy words telling him nothing.
“Why does Running Wolf’s trouble torture you this way? Perhaps Leah lies. Perhaps there is no child,” he wistfully alluded.
“If only the child was Running Wolf’s,” she cried out in distress.
When she began to sob, White Arrow pulled her into his arms and offered her solace to a crisis he did not comprehend yet. “What disturbs you so greatly, Little One?” he asked in rising concern.
“Don’t you understand, White Arrow? The child Leah carries is not Running Wolf’s; it’s Gray Eagle’s,” she incredulously declared between ragged sobs. “It’s my husband’s,” she repeated near a ragged whisper.
“What? This cannot be!” he said, firmly refuting her illogical statements.
“Ask him. When he thought I was dead, he took Leah. It is his son she carries. He has betrayed our love; he has destroyed it. I heard it from his own lips just now. She lay with him upon his mat while I struggled for life. While mine was slipping away, Leah was beginning a new life, his son’s! When she said the child was his, he could not deny it. Running Wolf is old; Gray Eagle is young. If both have taken her, what chance did the old man’s seeds have over my traitorous husband’s? He lied to me and deceived me. He said he never touched her or any other woman. But he did.”
White Arrow staggered under this news. “It cannot be! He would never take another woman. He loves and desires only you, Grass Eyes.”
“Perhaps his heart did not desire her, but his body did. Running Wolf asked him to swear the child was not his, that he had not taken her. He could not, White Arrow. While I lay dying, he lay mating with another woman. I will never forgive him, White Arrow; I will never forgive him.”
White Arrow was disturbed by the bitterness and accusations against his best friend, a man who was like his own brother, a man he had ridden with since youth. “Come, we must speak with Gray Eagle and settle this matter.”
“No. I cannot face him again. I would die if he ever touched me again. If he desires Leah, then he can have her! I cannot remain here now; I must leave,” she suddenly and unexpectedly announced.
He exploded in shock. “You cannot! He did not take the white whore!”
“He says differently, White Arrow. Whose words should I accept, yours or his? I cannot remain here while he desires her, not while she grows heavy with his child. I cannot.” He raged at her immense suffering.
“But you love him,” he argued, at a loss for wit and words.
“No, White Arrow; he has cruelly slain my love and trust in him. Even a powerful love as we once shared cannot survive such wicked betrayal. Leah will always be there between us now, for he carelessly placed her there. I have loved, forgiven, and suffered too many times to win his love and acceptance. The time has come when I possess no more understanding, when I can accept no more torment. I have given, shared, adjusted, and sacrificed until I have nothing left. How much can love endure before its demands outweigh its rewards? You know our past well, my friend. Have I not denied myself and my people to give him my all? Was he required to do the same to earn my love? Don’t you understand, White Arrow? This situation is grave. I was missing for only twelve moons when he yielded to Leah’s temptation, more than once. How can he expect me to understand and forgive such cruelty? If I had betrayed him like that, he would slay me! It is over between us and I must go away. Will you take me to Black Cloud’s camp?” she asked, startling him with her request, knowing that was the only safe place she could flee to in this treacherous wilderness.
“Gray Eagle will not let you go,” he stated confidently.
“This time he will, White Arrow. There is no way he can stop me. Who would side with a traitorous husband against a wronged wife?”
“He could not betray you!” White Arrow stormed in frustration.
“He already has, my friend. I heard it from his own lips. How could he do this to us, to me? I thought there was no power strong enough to separate us, but there is: his lust for Leah. He has placed a barrier between us that can never be removed. I could never love or trust him again.”
“We must go to your tepee and end this treachery now, Shalee. Leah carries no man’s child; I know this within my heart. She lies.”
“Even if she lies about the child, White Arrow, Gray Eagle still betrayed me with her. How great is his love when he yielded to another woman only a few moons after my death? I cannot forgive him, for his betrayal will always come between us.”
She laughed cynically. “It’s funny, isn’t it? It isn’t my white blood that will finally destroy our love; it is a white woman. Leah warned me long ago she would take him from me and claim my place. I didn’t believe it was possible for any woman to do that. She’s won, White Arrow. The magic of the son she carries is too great for me to battle. I lost him the day the Bluecoats attacked me and Leah was given the chance to reveal her magic. Even mine dulls in the light of hers.”
“No, Shalee, you have not lost him. Leah is no threat to your love. He would never trade you for her. You are hurt and distressed. Think.”
“The child, White Arrow, he will defeat me. I haven’t been able to give him another son. If Leah does, all is lost.”
“Then I will slay her,” he heatedly offered.
“No, you cannot. To do so would also slay the son of Gray Eagle. Don’t you see? If I had not recalled our love and happiness, this betrayal would mean nothing to me. How can I remain here and watch her grow fat?”
Before he could summon some answer, Gray Eagle hurried forward to join them. “I could not find you, Shalee. Why are you here with White Arrow? I spoke with my father; all is settled.”
“Is it?” she glacially challenged.
Her look and tone hinted at trouble. Gray Eagle eyed one person, then the other. “Yes. Running Wolf will have her guarded until the truth is revealed,” he stated, wondering at her inexplicable mood and coldness.
“Which truth, my faithful husband?” she sneered angrily.
“The truth of the child,” he replied, his tension mounting steadily.
“Whose child, my traitorous husband,” she lucidly intimated.
“Why do you speak so strangely, Shalee?” he inquired in dread.
“Do I?” she fenced, vexing him.
White Arrow ended the sparring when he casually announced, “Shalee knows about you and Leah, Gray Eagle.”
Gray Eagle’s eyes widened in shock before he could master his surprise. “What does she know?” he demanded softly, controlling his words and tone carefully.
“When will Leah have your second son, my deceitful love?” She clarified the matter quickly and scornfully.
“My son?” he echoed in disbelief, sheer panic attacking him.
“Even now the truth escapes you! You lied to me and betrayed me. I will never forgive you. Never!”
“The child is not mine, Shalee,” he argued desperately.
“How can you be certain? You did take her to your mat while I lay dying in Black Cloud’s camp, didn’t you?” she furiously challenged.
Before he could conceal it, a look of uncertainty flickered in his obsidian eyes. “Don’t bother to confess aloud again. I heard your words of guilt in Running Wolf’s tepee. It is over between us. I will leave in the morning.”
“Leave! You cannot!” His arguments matched White Arrow’s.
“I will never forgive you. You have betrayed me! You have killed our love as let
hally as you slay your enemies.”
“I must explain,” he hastily began.
“No!” she quickly interrupted him. “Tell me nothing about my dishonored husband and his white slut! If you desire her so greatly, take her; I do not care! I will never remain here while she carries your son.”
“It is not my child!” he growled in rising exasperation.
“Look at me and swear you never mated with her in our tepee while the peyote dazed your wits. Tell me she did not tempt you only a few days after my loss,” she cornered him.
Their gazes fused and clashed. “I do not recall ever taking her.” He tried to extricate himself without lying.
Tears filled her eyes at his crafty and desperate ploy. “Your loss of memory serves you well, my false love. Even if the child is not yours, your betrayal is. It is over, Wanmdi Hota; you have brutally ended our love.”
“If I took her, I do not know it! I was drugged with the peyote buttons. I thought she was you. I do not want Leah; I want only you. Forgive me if I have hurt you or shamed myself. My grief stole my senses. Do not take your love from me,” he pleaded hoarsely.
“I have not taken it from you; you have destroyed it. Leave me alone. I must think and plan. I will go to the Blackfoot camp tomorrow. I will never return while Leah or the child is here, if I ever return at all.”
“I will not let you go, Shalee. You are my wife, my love.”
“You cannot stop me. I am viewed as Princess Shalee, daughter to Chief Black Cloud. You would not dare to reveal my true identity and endanger your face and our son’s life. How else could you stop me from leaving? You have betrayed our love with a white whore. Who would blame me or halt me from returning to my father’s tipi?”
“I will not let you go,” he repeated firmly.
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