by Jessica Love
“Hannah, would you mind taking a picture of me and Ashley? I want to put it on the blog.”
I nod, and Ashley’s eyes widen like she got dealt a royal flush. “You’re going to put me on the blog? Are you serious? Did you hear that, Reese? I’m going to be on the blog!”
Reese shrugs and doesn’t look up from his phone.
Frankie wraps her arm around Ashley’s waist and smiles while I snap a picture; then she gives her fan a huge hug. I watch Ashley and Reese as they walk away, thinking about what a bizarre life Frankie leads, but she goes back to the Skee-Ball game like absolutely nothing happened.
She throws a ball, then turns to face me. “So, Hannah. Nick talks about you a lot, you know, so I’m glad we get to hang out. What’s up with you?”
I find it odd she can transition so quickly back to normal conversation, but I go with it. “Well, what has Nick said?”
“Let’s see.… You’re his best friend. You live in Orange County. You have an older sister named Grace who once met Alex at a show, and that’s how you and Nick met. You talk all the time. You’re the smartest, funniest, and most driven person he knows. You’re going to UCLA next year.” She counts each fun fact off on her fingers. “Oh, and I’ve now learned you hate roller coasters and you’re terrible at Skee-Ball.”
It surprises me how much Nick has told her, like I’m an actual part of his life he wants people to know about. I share him with people in my world on a need-to-know basis only, and aside from my family and Lo, no one needs to know. It has never been much of a challenge to keep our friendship hidden from everyone else, and I like it better that way. I’ve justified the secrecy by saying he is too hard to explain to my friends, but the truth is, my friendship with Nick is different from the friendships I have at school. More real. And I think that’s what I have trouble explaining, even to myself, so I don’t share him
Ghost is his name for me, but it turns out he’s more of a ghost in my life than I am in his. As much as I’m feeling like he’s a different person on the phone, at least he considers me a part of his life.
“That about covers it. I’m not very exciting. No band or famous blog or anything.” I look around the arcade for everyone else. Lo and Oscar are giggling over some claw game, and Grace plays pinball while Alex and Nick talk off to the side. Alex’s arms are crossed over his chest while Nick’s flap around like he’s trying to fly.
I jerk my head over to them. “So, what do you think that’s all about?”
Frankie shrugs. “Who knows what it is this time. Last week, they were playing basketball in their driveway and it got so heated, I thought it was going to turn into an MMA fight or something.”
I’m about to abandon the Skee-Ball game—since it’s not like I’m going to beat Frankie or get anything out of it at this point—and go sneak closer to Nick and Alex to see if I can hear what they’re arguing about, when Frankie grabs my arm.
“Look, Hannah, I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but I’m so glad to meet you. Don’t laugh, but when I first started hanging out with Nick, I was a little threatened by you. It’s never easy when your new boyfriend has this gorgeous best friend, you know? But he promised me there was nothing going on between you two, that you’re, like, not even a girl to him. And I trust him. But it’s so great to meet you and see how cool you are. It makes me feel like such a crazy weirdo for freaking out about it so much.” She gives me the biggest grin in the world and then pulls me into a hug.
I try to hug her back, but her words are bouncing around in my head. “You’re, like, not even a girl to him. Nothing going on between you two.”
I can’t believe I ruined things so much. I told him I didn’t think about him like that and I never would. I told him he wasn’t even like a guy to me. I waited too long, I ignored all the signs, and now he’s stolen my line and he’s moved on.
I came out here for someone who has absolutely no feelings for me anymore.
CHAPTER
16
We wait for Jordy outside the casino, on the bridge over the Strip that connects New York–New York with MGM Grand. It’s sort of surreal, standing on a bridge with cars going under us, a replica of the entire Manhattan skyline on one side, and a ginormous golden lion on the other. But my entire time in Vegas so far has been surreal, so the scene is fitting.
Down the Strip, away from Mandalay Bay and the pyramid of the Luxor, I see the bridge in front of New York–New York on my left and the Eiffel Tower at Paris Las Vegas, a giant Coca-Cola bottle, and Planet Hollywood on my right. The rest of the casinos spread down the street, one bright blur of lights I can’t separate from each other.
“Impressive, huh?” Nick joins me in looking out at the lights. “It’s weird. It sorta seems like it goes on forever, but it also feels like they’re close enough, you could walk there.” He shakes his head. “But trust me. They aren’t as close as they look.”
I don’t say anything. I focus on the lights, my fingers wrapped around the metal fencing that probably keeps people from jumping into the street after a huge gambling loss, and I try to figure out what to say to him, where I want this friendship of ours to go. He isn’t the person I thought he was, and I don’t know what I still want, especially with Frankie in the picture.
“Locals don’t really come out to the Strip much,” he says with a pained sigh. “But I’ve been here a lot lately.”
“Frankie?” I ask. I turn around and lean my back against the railing, facing out toward Mandalay Bay.
“Yeah.” He stares at his hand as he picks at his thumbnail. “She’s always blogging stuff going on out here, and she drags me along.”
Frankie stands a few feet from us, phone balancing between her ear and her shoulder, yapping away while she taps on her tablet. Then off the other way on the bridge, Grace and Alex and Lo and Oscar are doing their couple thing. I’ve hardly talked to my sister and my best friend since they paired off with dudes the minute we got here. I need them. I need them to help me figure this out, and they’ve ditched me for guys in my time of need.
“I’ll be right back,” I mumble to Nick.
“Wait,” he says, his voice cracking. “Ghost, I need to—”
“I need to talk to Lo and Grace.” He has a girlfriend. I don’t care what he needs to do.
“Emergency meeting. Now.” I take Lo and Grace each by an elbow and pull them away from their flirting.
“Hey,” Grace says, “we were planning the rest of the night.”
“Do it later,” I say through clenched teeth. “I’m having a crisis and I would love a minute of my older sister’s and best friend’s time, if that’s not too much to ask.”
I guess my voice or my harried expression is desperate enough, because they both stop looking longingly at the guys and follow me to the other side of the bridge. We have to weave through aggressive club promoters and step over a guy with a guitar singing a terrible version of a Bruno Mars song to get far enough away.
“First of all,” I say as soon as we are out of earshot of the rest of the group, “I am calling BS on the two of you right now. How dare you ditch me in my hour of need in favor of hot boys? You’ve broken every single girl code there is.”
Lo looks down at her feet as Grace mumbles sorry, but I don’t give them much of a chance to grovel. “I don’t want to hear it. You two left me alone with the girlfriend of the guy who I think I may be in love with. Like it’s no big deal. You left me there to talk to her. What the hell, you guys?”
Grace shrugs. “You seemed like you were getting along. We wanted to give you some time to talk to Nick—”
“Yes, we’re getting along because she is the nicest person on the face of the freaking planet. I need someone to help me hate her. You guys need to step it up with the smack talking.”
They both lean in and wrap me in a group hug. “Sorry, girl,” Lo says. “We were blinded by the shiny. We’ll be by your side. I promise.”
“Well, Lo will, anyway,” Grace says, looking at
her boots. “Ummm … don’t be mad, but I think Alex and I are taking off.”
“What?” Lo and I say it at the same time, as if we planned it or something.
“Look, I’ll stay if you need me to. But we’re in Vegas, and Alex and I are both over twenty-one. No offense, but we don’t want to hang out at arcades all night.”
“We have fake IDs,” Lo says.
“I know, but…” She pulls off her beanie and runs her fingers through her hair, then shoves it back on again. “Look, you girls’ll be good on your own, right?”
I stare at my sister with my mouth hanging open. After all I did to help her shake off her Gabe funk, I can’t believe she’s going to ditch me.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she says, absently playing with her necklace. “You know I need some time to have some fun. And, look, I’ll get the scoop on this chick from Alex for you, okay? And Nick will chill out if I get Alex out of his hair.”
Lo reaches over and grabs my hand, giving my fingers a firm squeeze. Let her go, she mouths.
“Fine,” I say. “But if you two take off together, you better get some intel.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Before you go”—I reach out for her arm—“can you let me know if I’m doing the right thing here? Please?”
I fill them in on everything that happened, but Grace ends up being no help at all. Mainly because she disagrees with me. She is convinced I need more of a plan than “Go back to the hotel and deal with it later,” and since she has the “older and wiser” thing going for her, I hear her out.
“You need to go after him,” she says. “Make it clear how you feel. Throw your hat in the ring.”
“But—Frankie,” I say, my voice quiet. “And—”
Grace doesn’t wait to hear the rest of what I have to say, though, because Alex calls for her and she motions for us to follow as she trots back over to him.
“I just want to leave,” I whisper to Lo as we make our way back to the group. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Lo stops and grabs my shoulders, squaring me toward her. “Is that really what you want to do? Because if you want to ditch everyone here, I’m totally cool with that.”
“Are you serious?” I’m so happy to hear this that I reach over and hug her. “All I want is to go back to the hotel and order some room service or something.” I’m exhausted from pretending I don’t care about all this, and from trying to figure Nick out. It’s too much. “Grace can come back when she’s done with Alex. Or not. I don’t even care at this point.”
“No problem,” she says, patting my back. “Let’s go.”
I pull out of our hug. “What about Oscar?”
She shakes her head. “He’s cute and all, but he’s just a dude. No big deal when my best friend is in crisis.”
“I’m totally failing you on this Girls Gone Wild thing.”
“We can go wild at the pool tomorrow. That bikini top of yours is coming off, my friend.”
“Only after I pour an entire bottle of vodka down your throat.” We walk back to the group, and I immediately feel lighter. I can go back to the hotel room with Lo and deal with all of this tomorrow. Or never. It’s not like Nick will even notice.
We’re almost back to the group, who have all joined in a sing-along with the guitar guy, when Frankie comes up behind me and grabs my arm.
“Hannah. Can you do me a huge favor?”
It’s easy to be nice to her, since I don’t need to deal with her and Nick for much longer. “What’s up?”
“I have to sneak off for a minute to talk to a guy over at MGM for the blog.”
“What? Now? It’s like ten P.M.”
She tilts her head and replies to me in this way that makes me feel like a redneck from BFE. “Oh, honey, this is Vegas. He’s just getting to work.”
“Okay,” I say. “Whatever. What do you need me for?”
“Nick’s going to be totally pissed at me for leaving. He gets kinda weird when I just spring things on him, and it was my idea to show you guys around and now I’m taking off. I’ll be back, though! Soon!”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Okaaaay.”
“He’s so super happy you’re here and all. So if you could tell him for me? That I’m going to be gone for, like, an hour? He’ll be so stoked to be able to hang out with you for a while, just the two of you. And then, you know, keep him company until I get back.”
“Oh, Frankie, I don’t know—”
“Sure she will, Frankie,” Lo jumps in.
I shoot her a death look. What the hell? I continue to glare at her, but she’s smiling at Frankie like Lo and I didn’t just make a date for some room service and hotel movies.
“Awesome. Thanks, Hannah.” She squeezes my arm and gives me this super-warm, genuine smile I want to smack right off her face. “I know you’re the only person who can keep Nick from getting all annoyed with me right now. I owe you one.”
I mumble, “You don’t have to owe me,” but she’s already gone, walking across the bridge to the MGM Grand faster than it seems her little legs should be able to take her.
“Dude,” I say to Lo as soon as Frankie is gone, “what was that?”
Her hands are already up in surrender. “Hear me out, okay?”
“I’m listening.”
“I know you want to go back to the room, and I respect that. But I also think Grace is right. And this is a perfect situation: You have the chance to be alone with Nick and talk without Frankie interrupting you. Grace is going off with Alex, and I can get Oscar to do something else. You said Nick’s more like the guy you’re used to when it’s just the two of you, right? Here you go—gift-wrapped alone time. With a sparkly bow on top.”
When she puts it that way, it doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. “I guess this will work.” Frankie-free alone time with Nick? It probably beats pouting in the hotel room.
And Grace is right—I do need to tell him how I feel. I can’t handle this uncertainty, this arm around my shoulder one minute and joking with Frankie the next. It will mean admitting I lied to him, but I have to do it regardless. I need to let him know.
I shake my head at her, then reach around and smack her butt. “This is why I love you.”
“I know,” she says. “I’m the best.”
We finish our walk back to the group, who are all reluctantly posing for pictures Grace is taking with her phone, probably to prove to her editor she was here talking to an actual Vegas band. “Okay, everyone,” Lo says. “It looks like we have a little change of plans.”
“Where’s Frankie?” Alex asks.
I rub my hands down the front of my jeans. “Well, she, uh, had to run and do something for the blog really quick.” Nick makes a face I can’t quite figure out, and I try my best to give him a comforting smile. “But she’ll be back in a bit.”
“So, Hannah was telling me”—Lo turns to me and gives me a look that clearly says I told her nothing at all like what she’s about to say, but I better play along anyway—“that she has been dying to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower.”
Yuck. Of all the things she could pick. I don’t hate heights the way I hate the idea of roller coasters, but I wouldn’t say I love teetering so far above solid ground. I smile anyway. She evidently has a plan here.
“Dude. No.” Oscar shakes his head violently, and I suddenly get what Lo is doing, that brilliant friend of mine. “I’m, uh, not going to go up there. There’s no way.”
I decide to play along. “Please, you guys? It’s on my Vegas bucket list.”
Grace catches on. “Alex and I are about to take off. But, Hannah, you were talking the whole way here about how much you wanted to go up there. You shouldn’t miss it.”
“Oh. Well,” Nick says, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and back again, “why don’t I go with Hannah to the Eiffel Tower? Grace and Alex, you two go get drunk or whatever, and Lo and Oscar, you guys go, um, hang out somewhere that’s not hundreds of
feet above the ground, and we’ll call you when we’re done. How does that sound?”
I’m so relieved Nick is going along with it and how well everything is finally working out. Sweet. Time alone to talk, just the two of us.
Then I hear a voice from behind us. “But what about me?”
Ugh. I totally forgot about Jordy. It looks like our night is about to take a turn for the douche.
CHAPTER
17
Jordy slaps hands with all the guys, including Nick, and apologizes for being late. Something about helping Drew get the equipment home and some hot girls at House of Blues or something. I’m not listening, because I’m trying to figure out how his arrival is going to affect my plan. There’s only a small window of alone time with Nick before Frankie gets back, and I want to use it.
I know enough about Jordy to know I don’t care about knowing more. Sure, he’s the lead singer and songwriter for Automatic Friday and he’s hot, but he also knows how hot he is, which makes him way less attractive overall. I know Nick hardly talks about him, so I assume they aren’t on BFF-necklace level. And Nick got visibly annoyed tonight when Alex invited Jordy out.
Jordy’s changed clothes since the show earlier. Now he’s in almost the same uniform as the other guys—jeans, a black T-shirt, and a hoodie—but he wears it differently. Clothes look different on people who walk the other side of the line between confidence and cockiness.
“Hey, girls,” he says in this way that seems to imply our night up until now had just been killing time until he could join us.
Nick jumps in with this bizarre forced and too-formal voice before I can introduce myself. “Jordy, this is Hannah.” He rests his hand on my shoulder as he says it, and my shoulder lights on fire. It feels like he’s claiming me—and, I’m not gonna lie, I might be forced to turn in my feminism card with this admission, but I kinda love it. “Hannah is, uh, my best friend. From California.”
“Hannah, huh?” Jordy moves closer in toward me and stretches out his hand. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Hannah. I can’t believe Nick’s never mentioned such a beautiful friend before.”
