Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life

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Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life Page 19

by Wayne W. Dyer


  You are a single beat in the one heart that is humanity. You don’t have to look outside your window or venture forth—all you have to do is just be in the same way that you allow your heart to be. This concept was difficult 2,500 years ago, and I realize that it may still be challenging to grasp, but you must! In a world mad for information without the grace of being the Tao, you are one of the heartbeats that keeps the Tao wisdom flowing freely . . . just by being.

  Through me, Lao-tzu urges you to work at this new awareness and try out these suggestions:

  Begin the process of trusting your heart.

  Listening to your heartbeat, you can clearly recognize the Tao practicing the paradox of doing nothing and at the same time leaving nothing undone. Your deepest feelings are reflections of your “heart space” talking to you. You don’t have to do anything to activate this internal profundity; simply let your heart speak to you. Begin noticing and appreciating its continual silent thumping—and whatever provides the energy for the beat to go on, let its presence in your chest be a constant reminder of the Tao at work.

  Trust in your “sense of knowing,” which is always with you.

  An internal knowing is there independent of your venturing forth—it’s there even when your eyes are closed and you’re sitting still. This doesn’t necessarily mean you should become a couch potato. Rather, you must allow yourself to be guided by the same Source that twirls the planets around the sun, and trust that it will direct you perfectly without your having to interfere. Experience your innate creativity while being an observer, watching in amazement as everything falls perfectly into place. Just as moving water never stagnates, you will be moved by a natural force that seeks being complete within you and without your needing to step in. You can get in touch with this knowing through the practice of meditation.

  Do the Tao Now

  Find or make a picture of a heart, and spend time today contemplating it as a reminder of the Tao effortlessly at work within your chest cavity. At some point during the day, allow yourself to be guided by the Tao to do something creative that comes from within, such as painting, writing a poem, taking a walk in the park, beginning a personal project, or anything at all. Just let yourself be guided without having to venture forth in any way. Then bring this magic of the Tao more frequently into all aspects of your life.

  48th Verse

  Learning consists of daily accumulating.

  The practice of the Tao consists of daily diminishing; decreasing and decreasing, until doing nothing.

  When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.

  True mastery can be gained

  by letting things go their own way.

  It cannot be gained by interfering.

  Living by Decreasing

  We live in a society that seems to say, “The more you amass, the more value you possess as a human being.” Here, in the 48th verse of the Tao Te Ching, you’re asked to change the way you look at this notion. Rather than validating yourself by acquiring more, you can reverse this embedded idea of increasing as the criteria for mastering life. The benefit of living by decreasing is seeing your world in a different light—one in which, believe it or not, you’ll experience a greater sense of completeness.

  Throughout the years of your formal schooling, you were encouraged to accumulate more of everything being made available to you: more mathematical formulas; rules of grammar; knowledge of ancient and modern history; information about the human body, the inner and outer galaxies, religion, chemical compounds, and so forth—on and on. You amassed a series of transcripts, diplomas, and degrees that summarized your voyage of collecting, gathering, and hoarding evidence of your learning. Lao-tzu suggests reexamining this legacy, for then you can base your level of success on something that appears to be the exact opposite of what you’ve pursued so far.

  The Tao asks you to release the external indicators and symbols of your educational status. While learning is about accumulating information and knowledge, the Tao is about wisdom, which involves letting go of information and knowledge and living in harmony with your Source. In order to enliven your experience of the Tao and live by its principles, you’re being asked to practice decreasing your reliance upon things.

  As I’ve already mentioned in these pages, everything that you add to your life brings with it an element of imprisonment: Your stuff requires you to insure it and protect it from potential thieves or natural disasters; furthermore, you need to polish, paint, clean, store, and pack it, as well as move it from place to place. There’s infinite wisdom in the ideas that Lao-tzu outlines in this verse of the Tao Te Ching, especially in his view that true mastery can only be gained by freeing yourself of attachments to things and, in fact, downsizing what you already have.

  When you seriously think about this idea and change the way you look at accumulation, you’ll realize that you can never truly own anything. Native Americans once had no term for owning land; today, the modern individual’s purchase of a piece of property involves an endless cascade of legal maneuvers including title searches, liens, attorney fees, mortgages, tax stamps, and so on. We’ve created gargantuan hurdles for the purchase and ownership of a piece of land that we only really occupy temporarily. Lao-tzu urges you to think of yourself as a guest here, rather than a proprietor. Cease interfering with the natural world by doing as much as you can to decrease your impact on the environment. That is, live in harmony with the no-thing-ness state from which you emerged and to which you are destined to ultimately return.

  Lao-tzu says that you must think about your lifetime, your “parentheses in eternity,” as an opportunity to be in harmony with the always-decreasing Tao by putting into practice these suggestions:

  See the value in subtraction, or “daily diminishing.”

  Begin to consciously decrease your need to purchase more things. Keep in mind that the advertising world is designed to convince you that your happiness is tied to whatever it’s promoting—so instead of buying more, see how many of your accumulated possessions you can recirculate. I guarantee that you’ll notice a refreshing feeling of freedom as your desire diminishes and you let go of your obsession with the material objects you’ve amassed. As Lao-tzu might say, you came here with no-thing and you leave with no-thing, so take great pleasure in all that has arrived in your life. There’s even greater pleasure to be had in knowing that your ability to live peacefully and happily isn’t dependent on how much stuff you add to your life. Living by decreasing is the way of the Tao.

  Practice seeing joy in the natural world, rather than seeking fulfillment in ownership.

  See the folly of ownership in a universe that’s eternally composing and decomposing . . . just like you are. In essence, Lao-tzu is saying that what’s real never changes because it has no form. So the more you can let things unfold naturally, the more harmoniously you’re living the Tao. Enjoy the flowers, clouds, sunsets, storms, stars, mountains, and all the people you encounter. Be with the world, in it and adoring it, but not needing to possess it. This is the way of peace. This is the way of the Tao.

  For more than 500 years, Kabir has been one of India’s revered poets. One of his most popular observations sums up this 48th verse of the Tao Te Ching:

  The fish in the water that is thirsty needs

  serious professional counseling.

  Do the Tao Now

  Right this minute, let go of five items that you have in your possession, putting them in circulation so that others might find them. Next, pick something that has some particular value to you and give it away. It’s important that it be something you really like, for the more attachment you have to an item, the greater the joy you’ll feel as you let it go. This can become a practice of living a life of daily diminishing.

  49th Verse

  The sage has no fixed mind;

  he is aware of the needs of others.

  Those who are good he treats with goodness.

  Those who are bad he also treats with goodness because th
e nature of his being is good.

  He is kind to the kind.

  He is also kind to the unkind

  because the nature of his being is kindness.

  He is faithful to the faithful;

  he is also faithful to the unfaithful.

  The sage lives in harmony with all below heaven.

  He sees everything as his own self;

  he loves everyone as his own child.

  All people are drawn to him.

  He behaves like a little child.

  Living

  Beyond Judgment

  In this gently powerful verse, we’re encouraged to change the way we view virtually everyone on the planet. Lao-tzu saw the potential for existing harmoniously through living beyond judgment; thus, this 49th verse of the Tao Te Ching invites us to explore that peaceful world. It’s encouraging us to replace our idea of criticizing them with an acknowledgment of us without criticism. Imagine the possibilities for all of humanity if we simply eliminated prejudice and could live “in harmony with all below heaven.”

  You can begin changing your view of judgment as a valuable or important activity by being aware of when you’re doing it to yourself. Then simply start substituting noticing for judging; from this perspective, you’ll realize pretty quickly that you prefer to observe what you’re doing or feeling rather than critiquing yourself. Calling your behavior “bad” or “good” just pits you against yourself and others by using competition, punishment, or dislike as your motivational markers—hatred, anger, and threats become necessary because love, acceptance, and kindness can’t be trusted.

  As you move away from judging yourself, you’ll no longer need or want what Lao-tzu calls the “fixed mind”; thus, allegiances that pitted you against the people you thought of as them will begin to dissolve. The innumerable categories that helped you organize your labels become totally superfluous and unimportant when you change the way you look at their so-called value. In spite of having been conditioned by the country you were born in, the religion you were assigned at birth, the culture you were immersed in, or even the family who raised you, living beyond judgment becomes your preference. You exist in harmony with the Tao that excludes no one and has no conception of divisions and loyalties. The oneness of the Tao entices you away from any belief that others are separate.

  This is the basic solution to wars and conflicts. You see, when you stop judging and instead begin to see yourself in others, you can’t help but love the uniqueness of everyone as though they were your own children. Then instead of exclusions and allegiances, the oneness of the Tao graces all, unimpeded. Rather than God bless America (or whatever country you happen to reside in), Allah save our people, or Krishna bless those who believe in you, there’s God bless humanity—let me do all that I can to treat everyone, without exception, with goodness and kindness, as all of those whom we revere as spiritual masters taught us by their example.

  As your worldview changes, you’ll extend goodness to everyone you encounter. You’ll find that you can feel nonjudgmental compassion for the mistreated, even when their way of seeing things causes you and yours pain. You can send out kindness not only in response to kindness, but especially when you’re the recipient of cruelty. Why? Because, as Lao-tzu reminds you in this poignant verse, “the nature of [your] being is kindness.” It’s impossible to give to others what you are not, and you are not judgmental. You see yourself in everyone, without the need to criticize them or yourself.

  Change your thoughts and live beyond judgment—and don’t see yourself as “bad” when you falter in this view or as “holy” when you succeed. Keep in mind that you’re a mix of infinite openness and finite limitation, as we all are. So sometimes you just need to notice yourself judging, without then judging yourself!

  This is what I feel called by Lao-tzu to offer you from this 49th verse of the Tao Te Ching:

  Change the way you look at yourself.

  If you pride yourself on having a fixed mind, realize that it relies on conditioning that generally shows up as prejudice. Instead, see yourself as flexible, since being open is the higher virtue. Pride yourself on extending your goodness and kindness to all sides, even 49th Verse when they oppose your preprogrammed learning. Begin to see yourself as a person who notices instead of judges. Avoid taking one position and sticking to it no matter what the circumstances are; rather, be in harmony with all people, especially those whose opinions conflict with yours! And remember to include yourself when dispensing kindness and nonjudgment.

  Change the way you look at other people.

  One version of this verse says: “I trust men of their word, and I trust liars. If I am true enough, I feel the heartbeats of others above my own.” Whether you call it “judging” or “labeling,” notice when you think of others as evil, lazy, dishonest, stupid, or ugly. Then affirm: I see myself in this person, and I choose to be in a space of goodness rather than judgment. There’s a Sanskrit word, Namaste, that can help you with this. When used as a greeting, it roughly translates to: “I honor the place in you where we are all one.” So silently or verbally begin telling others “Namaste” in order to remind yourself to love everyone as your own children.

  Do the Tao Now

  Vow to spend a day looking for opportunities to practice kindness in circumstances that usually provoke judgment. Notice what you think or say about a panhandler, a relative whom you feel animosity toward, or even a politician or TV commentator speaking in terms that send you off in a flurry of critical thoughts. Take that opportunity to become a “noticer,” decreasing your criticism while increasing the amount of courtesy and goodness in your world.

  50th Verse

  Between birth and death,

  three in ten are followers of life;

  three in ten are followers of death.

  And men just passing from birth to death

  also number three in ten.

  Why is this so?

  Because they clutch to life

  and cling to this passing world.

  But there is one out of ten, they say, so sure of life that tigers and wild bulls keep clear.

  Weapons turn from him on the battlefield, rhinoceroses have no place to horn him,

  tigers find no place for claws,

  and soldiers have no place to thrust their blades.

  Why is this so?

  Because he dwells in that place

  where death cannot enter.

  Realize your essence

  and you will witness the end without ending.

  Living as an Immortal

  In this passage, Lao-tzu asks you to change the way you look at your mortality. The Tao teaches that death is an insignificant detail that doesn’t need to be consciously struggled with or dreaded. As this verse of the Tao Te Ching informs you, there’s a “place where death cannot enter.” Talk about your life changing when you change your thoughts! This is the ultimate, since the fear of death tops virtually everyone’s list of anxieties.

  If you see yourself solely as a physical mortal, then you’re part of the 90 percent of the population that this passage refers to as “followers of life,” “followers of death,” or “just passing from birth to death.” Here you’re being encouraged to aspire to be part of the remaining 10 percent, for whom thoughts of mortality don’t invade the heart space or life in general. By altering the way you see death, you’ll be in that select group. You’ll experience life on the active side of infinity, knowing yourself first and foremost as a spiritual being having a temporary human experience, rather than the other way around.

  In this realm, you’ll be gracefully adept at moving along free of the fear of life-threatening events. You’ll have a knowing about yourself and your connection to the Tao that simply allows you to ride with life like a fearless downhill skier who’s at one with the snow-covered mountain. Without resorting to judgment, you’ll notice others who are perpetually victimized by scams, bureaucracies, indifference, natural disaster, criminals, or meddling rela
tives.

  With an intimate awareness of your infinite essence that’s centered in the Tao, you’ll most likely escape from victimization yourself, and you’ll lightly deal with situations that others tend to get stuck in. In other words, when you know your own endless nature and live each day with this awareness directing you, there will simply be no space within you for mortality to call the shots. If harm ever does make an attempt to inflict damage or death on you, it won’t find a place to sink its hooks into.

  Change how you think about death by seeing your essential spiritual beingness, and you’ll be able to enjoy this world without the dread caused by believing you are of it. When you know your immortality through the flow of the Tao, you won’t even need to assign it a worldly concept or formal religion. And when the time comes for you to remove the worn-out coat you call your body, Lao-tzu says that “you will witness the end without ending.”

  Contemplate the teachings of the Tao Te Ching and realize that you can never really be killed or even harmed. With this view of life, you’ll be able to clear your inner battlefield of the army of beliefs that continually try to march on your essential self. Fear and dread are weapons that can’t hurt or threaten you. Even the natural elements symbolized by rhinos’ horns and tigers’ claws can’t inflict damage because they butt against and tear at a space that has no solidity for them to inflict pain. You dwell in a place that’s impenetrable to death—no longer are you clutching at the 10,000 things and treating your short journey from cradle to grave as your one and only ultimate life experience. Now you are the infinite Tao, living your real essence.

 

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