by Leslie Gould
Trudy must have sensed her unhappiness, because she patted Eve’s cheek and then smiled, showing her bottom teeth.
Eve pulled the baby close, causing Trudy to squirm and then laugh.
Once the bottle had heated, Eve retrieved it, turned off the burner, and turned the kettle down to a simmer. She wouldn’t risk pouring the boiling water with the baby in her arms, not when she was so unstable.
She settled into the chair in the living room, the weight of the baby’s body against her own comforting Eve. Once the baby was fed, Eve put her on the floor with her toys, made the coffee, dressed, rewrapped her ankle, and started breakfast. By then Tim and the boys had gone out to the milking, and Lila was getting ready.
Eve woke Rose. Trudy, still in her sleeper, began to fuss. A minute later Lila came into the kitchen with her.
“Put her in the high chair,” Eve instructed as she mixed eggs and milk together. “And give her a cracker. I’ll make her cereal in a minute.”
Lila obeyed and then began setting the table. “Why didn’t Zane come over yesterday?”
“Your Dat doesn’t need the help anymore.” Eve didn’t dare look at Lila. The girl had a way of knowing when something more than what was being said was going on.
“Daniel was cranky all evening.” Lila reached for the plates.
Eve nodded. They were all cranky.
“I think it was because he misses Zane.”
Eve didn’t bother to nod this time. They all missed Zane. He’d lightened their afternoons with his constant chatter and questions. She regretted that Tim had come home when he did yesterday. But on the other hand, she was thankful he had. What had come over her?
Poor Charlie. He was such a nice man. She’d known she was attracted to him, but the longing she’d felt for him surprised her. Shocked her, really. It was having him so close. It was his tenderness. His care. She hadn’t intended to feel so strongly for him.
But she wasn’t surprised an Englisch man would make her feel that way. Apparently, neither was Tim.
Rose shuffled into the kitchen, dressed but sleepy-eyed. Eve greeted her, but then the sound of a wagon rolling over the gravel distracted all of them. Rose hurried to the window. Tim had gone to the lumberyard the day before after he came home with Trudy. She’d thought it was just to talk with Gideon, but maybe he’d ordered wood for a new chicken coop. He’d been wanting to rebuild it.
She hoped it was Reuben making the delivery.
She realized in all that had gone on yesterday, she’d forgotten to ask Tim if he’d gotten his job back.
“It’s the bishop,” Rose singsonged. “He’s getting down.” She turned toward Eve, patting her heart as she grinned.
“Stop it.” Lila glared at her little sister as she spread slices of bread on a cookie sheet to toast. “We don’t want Aenti to get married and move away.” It was quite the outburst for Lila. Her face grew red as she turned toward Eve and then whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be.” Eve reached out her arms for the girl, giving her a hug. Eve’s parents weren’t affectionate with Tim or her. She’d learned to be loving with the children from Abra, who’d learned it from her parents.
Eve kissed the top of Lila’s head. Her oldest niece had far more insight, of course, than Rose. “Go tell your dad the lumber’s here.” Hopefully they were almost done with the milking.
As Lila hurried out the back door, Gideon came in wearing a rain slicker. “Guder Mariye,” he said, taking it off and hanging it on an empty peg on the mud porch.
“Morning,” Eve answered.
Rose hurried to his side and took his hand, pulling him to the table. The child had always been outgoing, but since Abra’s illness and death she seemed downright needy. “Want some breakfast?”
“No,” he said. “I already ate. But I’d love a cup of coffee.”
“I was just going to make another pot,” Eve said, hopping over to the stove.
“How’s your ankle?” Gideon asked.
“Getting better,” she answered, although she wasn’t sure it was. She did know it would though, in time.
As the water boiled for the coffee, she scrambled the eggs, stealing glances at Gideon. He was kind. And spiritually grounded. Far more than she.
She hoped Tim wouldn’t tell Gideon about her behavior the day before. That’s all she needed—for the bishop to get involved. She finished the eggs and set them on the back of the stove.
Tim wouldn’t say anything. He cared far too much about what others thought to divulge such information. They’d all been under the magnifying glass since Abra fell ill. Tim wouldn’t want to bring any more attention to their troubles.
“How is Simon?” Gideon asked.
“Good,” Eve answered, pouring the hot water to make the coffee. “He’s going to school. And helping with the chores more. He seems to be doing fine.”
“And how is Tim—” Gideon hesitated—“doing?”
Eve guessed he wondered if Tim had learned his lesson in regard to favoring Simon more than the other children. She doubted he had or ever would, but it wasn’t her place to judge her brother. “Jah, better,” she said as Tim came through the back door, taking his hat off and then slipping out of his coat. Thankfully she hadn’t elaborated on her answer, not that she would anyway, and especially not in front of Rose.
After telling Gideon hello, Tim thanked him for bringing the lumber.
Gideon simply smiled.
“Have you decided about my job?” Tim asked.
Gideon leaned against the back of the chair. “I’ve been thinking about it. Why don’t we start with two days a week and see how that goes?”
Tim nodded and then retreated to the bathroom to wash up. Eve imagined her brother was pleased. She certainly was.
A few minutes later Simon, Daniel, and Lila came in. The boys shed their wet coats and hats and headed to the bathroom to wash up too.
Tim returned and asked, “Are we ready to eat?”
“Jah,” Eve said, pouring two cups of coffee.
Gideon stepped to the counter and retrieved the cups while Eve dished up the eggs.
“Can you drive the children this morning?” Tim asked. “So I can help Gideon unload the lumber.”
“I’m not in a hurry,” Gideon said. He turned to Eve. “No need to do it if you’re not up to it.”
“I can manage,” Eve responded as Simon and Daniel returned to the kitchen. “As long as the boys hitch the horse—and help me into the buggy.”
Simon groaned, but his eyes lit up. She missed his smile.
Lila put the eggs and toast on the table as the boys sat down. After the prayer, Eve told them all to hurry. “We need to leave in fifteen minutes,” she said as she sat down to feed the baby.
When they reached the school, Monika King stood at the bottom of the steps, her umbrella over her head. Jenny stood with her, but when she saw the Lehman children, she waved and hurried up the steps of the school, stopping by the front door. She let the other children go ahead of her and then walked in with Daniel.
Eve expected Monika to head toward her own buggy, but instead she walked toward Eve and then stepped up into the buggy. “Ach,” she said, taking Trudy, “she’s so sweet in her sleeper.”
“Jah,” Eve responded, “it’s been one of those mornings.” Just like every morning, it seemed.
“I heard you twisted your ankle.”
Eve nodded.
Monika’s eyes sparkled. “While you were with the bishop. What in the world was going on?”
Eve laughed. “Is there a rumor spreading already?”
“Already? It happened two days ago.”
“Jah, but I haven’t said anything to anyone.”
“Tim did. When he dropped the children off yesterday.” As Monika spoke, Trudy reached for the woman’s mouth. Monika laughed and then continued. “We all wondered why you were being lazy.” She kept moving her lips once she’d stopped talking, smiling at the baby as she did.
“He said you were out for a walk with Gideon when it happened.” Monika nudged Eve with her elbow.
Monika was different than some of the others in their community though. She’d forgiven Eve for her sins of more than a decade ago.
“Jah, we were on a walk.”
“I’m so relieved,” Monika said as she shifted on the buggy seat. “When I saw that Englisch man at our place on Sunday, I was sure, by the way he looked at you, that he was wanting to court you.”
Eve’s face warmed even in the cold.
“I know Gideon’s a bit older than you, but he’s a fine man.” Monika smiled. “I can’t think of anyone, besides the Deacon, who would make a better husband.” She had a quirky habit of referring to her husband as the Deacon—as if he were the only one. The thing was, in Monika’s eyes, he was. She adored him.
Monika continued. “And Gideon’s taken with you. I can tell.” Monika paused a moment to smile at the baby again. “I shouldn’t say this, but he spoke about you with the Deacon, asking his advice. He wanted to know if he thought there were any red flags.”
Eve’s face grew hot.
“Of course there aren’t. You’ve been in good standing. You’ve proven yourself over the years. Look what you did for Abra and what you’re doing for these kids.”
Tears stung Eve’s eyes.
“Ach, I’m sorry,” Monika said, patting Eve’s shoulder.
“It’s fine . . . ”
“Tim will find a new wife,” Monika said. “He might not be ready yet.” She chuckled. “Look at how long it took him to marry the first time. I know he’s not like Gideon. He can’t—” she struggled for the right word—“adjust that quickly.”
Eve nodded. That was true.
“But he will. In the meantime, you need to move ahead with your life. That will force Tim to find another wife.”
Eve pursed her lips.
“God will work it out,” Monika said, her eyes kind.
Eve appreciated the woman’s optimism—even if she didn’t share it. There were lots of things that God never worked out. Oh, she certainly believed he could—he just seemed to choose not to when it came to her.
“Let me take Trudy home for the day,” Monika said. “I’ll bring her back when we pick up the kids.”
“I don’t have a change of clothes for her. And probably only one diaper.” She did have the baby’s bag with a bottle in it and the emergency can of formula.
“I saved some of the girls’ old clothes. And diapers. For those grandbabies I’ll soon have.” She grinned. “You need to rest your ankle. You can’t do that packing a baby around.”
Tears threatened again. She never would have guessed a decade ago that Monika King would become so important to her. “Denki,” was all she managed to say. For a moment she was tempted to speak honestly about the vow she’d made never to marry an Amish man—even how she felt about Charlie—but she knew that would change how Monika felt about her.
After Monika had climbed out of the buggy with the baby and the diaper bag, the tears started to roll down Eve’s face. As she pulled onto the road, she cried for the children. For herself. Even for Tim. Then she cried for Charlie. And for the Becks.
She hadn’t intended to go to Shani’s, but when she looked down the driveway and saw that Gideon’s wagon was gone, she guessed that Tim would be consumed with his new project and wouldn’t miss her until the noon meal. She’d be home long before then.
So she kept on going.
Shani’s van was parked in its usual place. As Eve parked the buggy on the other side of it, Zane came out of the house. He should have been at school. He waved when he saw her.
A wave of awkwardness overcame Eve. What was she thinking, just showing up at their house?
Shani came out of the house next, wearing a raincoat with the hood on her head. She waved too. “Is everything okay?” she called out as she hurried down the steps.
Eve nodded as tears welled up in her eyes again. Shani was just a few steps away now. “Zane,” she said. “Go ahead and get in the van.” Then she turned toward the buggy. “You’ve been crying.”
Eve ran her fingers under her eyes. “It’s that obvious?”
Shani nodded.
“I’m fine,” Eve said. “Is Zane all right?”
“Stomachache,” Shani whispered. “Psychosomatic.”
It took Eve a moment to remember the meaning of the word, but when she did she whispered back, “We call that faking it.”
Shani smiled. “So do we. He’s just been so . . . ”
Eve waited for her to continue.
“Upset.”
Eve’s own stomach began to ache, guessing Zane’s pain was over Tim not wanting him to help with the chores.
“Why did you stop by?” Shani asked.
“Oh . . . ” Eve paused. “I was hoping you’d have time for a cup of coffee.”
Shani’s face brightened. “Come with me. We’ll drop Zane off first and then go out.”
Eve nodded toward the horse. “I can’t leave him here.”
“Zane and I’ll take care of him,” Shani said. “We’ll put him in a stall.”
As Eve hobbled to and waited in the van, she couldn’t help but be impressed with how quickly they unhitched the horse and led him into the barn.
When they climbed into the van, Zane said, “I gave the horse some fresh water and hay.”
Eve thanked him. Shani’s grandfather had kept goats the last few years of his life, saying he needed some sort of livestock around. The hay was most likely left over from them.
Zane was extra quiet, much as he had been the evening when Eve and the children first met him.
“See you after school,” Shani said when she pulled up by the school.
“I’ll take the bus home,” Zane said.
Shani shook her head. “No, I’ll pick you up, like I said. I want to touch base with your teachers.”
Eve thought about the one-room school her nieces and nephews went to. There was one teacher and a helper for thirty-three students. It was much less complicated than the massive buildings in front of her.
Zane politely told Eve good-bye and then grunted at his mother. He wasn’t downright rude—but he certainly wasn’t respectful.
Eve anticipated a harsh response from Shani, but she simply said, “I love you.”
Zane closed the door harder than necessary and headed toward the front door of the school. Shani sighed as she accelerated the van. “The Lehman kids probably never act like that, do they?”
“Oh, they have their moments,” she answered. They had sometimes acted that way for Abra, and every once in a while for her. But never for Tim.
“What time do you need to be back?” Shani asked.
“Around ten thirty, I suppose,” Eve replied.
“So Tim’s watching the baby?” Shani pulled back onto the highway, heading toward Strasburg.
Eve shook her head and explained about Monika. “She hopes to be a grandmother soon and likes to practice on Trudy.”
Eve didn’t get into Strasburg often, but she liked the little town with its brick buildings, restaurants, and shops. It was often filled with tourists who had no qualms about staring, but she did her best to ignore them.
Shani found a parking place across the street from the coffee shop and deftly backed her van into it without any effort. Eve limped along beside her as they crossed the street at the light. They entered the shop, ordered their drinks, and then Shani chose a table by the window. Eve almost suggested a table farther in the back, but didn’t speak up. If she was going to have an Englisch friend, she wasn’t going to try to hide her. Not that it would be possible anyway. Anyone could have seen them walking across the
street together.
When the coffees were ready, Shani told Eve to sit tight while she got them. She returned with the coffee first, darted back to the counter, and then arrived with a cinnamon roll. “I couldn’t pass it up,” she said, cutting it in half with one of the two forks she’d picked up.
“Thank you,” Eve said, thinking of all the goodies she and Abra had shared through the years.
“So what happened with Charlie yesterday?”
Eve grimaced. She’d known some Englisch who beat around the bush. It didn’t seem Shani was one of them.
“Tim overreacted, is all.”
Shani cocked her head, and Eve nodded. She wasn’t going to tell Shani what had really happened. The last thing she wanted was for Shani to tell Charlie anything about how she felt, not when Eve was doing her best to turn her thoughts away from him.
“Is that what’s going on with Tim? Just an overreaction?” Shani asked. “Or does he really not want Zane to come over at all?”
Eve took a bite of the roll and tried to figure out her answer. She decided honesty was best. “Most likely he is most concerned about Charlie, but I doubt he’ll come out and say that. Send Zane over to play after school. I’ll work things out with Tim.”
Shani exhaled. “That’s exactly what Joel doesn’t think we should do. He’s afraid Zane’s going to get hurt—worse than he is right now.” She wrapped her hands around her mug. “What’s Tim afraid of?”
Eve met Shani’s eyes. “The past.”
“Anything specific?”
Eve held onto her coffee cup. She’d guarded herself for so many years against talking about the running around she and Abra had done. There was enough talk about them without her contributing to it. “Have you heard of our Rumschpringe?”
“Someone mentioned it during my training. It’s when Amish kids go wild, right?” There was a sparkle in Shani’s eyes.
Eve smiled. “Some do. Some don’t. Let’s just say Tim didn’t . . . but Abra and I did. Me more than she. He’s afraid of that for his own kids.”
