by Anthology
As if on cue, Eva appeared out of nowhere, smiling her serene smile. “There you are, Sarah. Mandy is looking for you. Blake, so good to see you.”
Sarah escaped, and Blake followed Eva, feeling somewhat smug and self-satisfied. He’d thwarted Sarah’s escape, and he’d savor every moment in her presence, bad idea or not.
Eva cocked her head. Her slow, knowing smile didn’t irritate him as much as it usually did. As long as she was on his side—whatever his side was—he’d tolerate her weirdness.
“Put your dish on the counter,” Eva spoke in her usual mysterious voice and turned to eye him up and down. “Your destiny is here. That’s what your family would’ve wanted.”
Blake stopped in his tracks, feeling a cold chill thread its way down his spine. He couldn’t come up with a response to her proclamation. He skirted past her and into the welcome sanctuary of the crowded living room, keeping one eye warily on Eva and the other eagerly on Sarah. Currently, she was engaged in deep conversation with a group near the fireplace and glanced nervously at him every few minutes. He liked her attention on him—a lot—because his attention sure as hell focused on her.
“I’m glad you came,” Janna said, sliding up next to him and handing him a hot buttered rum. “And so is she.” With a jerk of her head, she indicated Sarah, as if he couldn’t figure that one out.
Blake nodded, at a loss for a response.
“She misses you.” Janna said as the party’s host, Brody, joined them. Janna excused herself, leaving the two men alone.
“Hey, man, tough luck about the leg. When do you think you’ll be back on the ice?” Brody had moved to the island about a year ago, coached high school football, and did remodels. He’d met Mandy’s husband in the military years ago and come to the island to settle a debt after the man had died saving his life. Not only had he settled that debt, but he’d settled on the island with Mandy.
Blake swallowed hard. “I’m retiring.” Saying the words out loud for the first time made it real.
“Is that a good thing?” Brody asked in his usual blunt manner.
“Good or bad, doesn’t matter. It’s time.”
Brody grinned. “I know that story. Hard to admit we’re mortal, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, damn hard.”
Brody glanced in Sarah’s direction and back to Blake. “You staying on the island?”
“I don’t know what I’d do here. It’s not like there’s a hockey rink or anything remotely related to skating.”
“Then do something else.”
If only it were that simple. Blake shrugged, totally at a loss as to what that something else would be.
A cheer rose from the group of men gathered around the TV.
Brody glanced in the direction of the noise. “I’m missing the game. It’s a good one.”
Blake followed Brody into the living room and hung out with the guys as they watched a college game on the TV. At least it wasn’t hockey. He didn’t think he could handle dealing with hockey and Sarah on the same night.
Yet, he had every intention of dealing with Sarah. He wasn’t sure why because they’d hashed out their relationship ad nauseam and kept arriving at the same conclusion. Wasn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, while expecting a different outcome?
Maybe he was insane, and the loss of hockey combined with his insanity had driven him here. He’d be all kinds of fool to pretend he hadn’t come because of Sarah.
He left the guys to watch their game and wandered about the B&B, pausing to talk to guests while looking for Sarah. He found her outside, sitting with a large group huddled around a blazing fire pit. There was an empty seat next to her, and Blake took advantage of it.
“Hey,” he said simply, sipping his now-cold, hot-buttered rum and pretending their not-so-chance meeting was casual and relaxed.
Sarah scooted her chair closer to the fire as if she were cold, not merely trying to get her ass away from him. He almost smirked and scooted his chair closer to the fire, forcing them into tighter quarters. Their knees bumped, and her head shot up.
Her gaze latched onto his.
Fuck.
Nothing had changed, staring into her eyes made time stand still, reduced all his problems to dust until the only thing that mattered was being wrapped in the warmth of her gaze. And it was warm, heated in fact, sizzling hot, just like they’d been in their brief, whirlwind romance and every time they’d hooked up since their magical Christmas Eve one year ago. Only they hadn’t just hooked up. Blake had fallen irrevocably and undeniably in love with the woman who’d saved the kitten he’d found shivering in a snow bank. She’d saved him too, given him hope, made him realize life could be worth living again despite all his losses.
For a brief while, he’d had it all—the love of a good woman, a resurrected hockey career, and great friends—until it’d come tumbling down around him like a precarious stack of children’s blocks because neither of them had been willing to find a compromise.
Regardless, she was here, and he saw the yearning in her eyes, certain his own reflected the same. He forgot the others sitting around them. Only Sarah existed and only Sarah mattered.
But did she matter enough? Would he limp away from hockey, living out the rest of his years in obscurity on this beautiful island? There could be worse fates—far, far worse—such as a life without Sarah. But what about life without hockey? He’d had skates on his feet and a stick in his hand as soon as he could walk. How did a guy turn his back on such a huge part of his life?
Sarah blinked at him and ran her fingers over his stubbled jaw. He held his breath, savoring her touch. “Are you okay?” she asked quietly, concern darkening her brown eyes.
He wanted to tell her no, he hadn’t been okay since she’d broken off their relationship, but he caught her quick look at his cast.
Oh, yeah, that.
“I’ve had worse injuries,” he answered nonchalantly, managing to conceal the turmoil raging inside him.
She frowned, almost as if disappointed by his answer. “So you’ll be heading back to the team soon?”
Blake studied her closely, trying to decipher her true meaning without reading too much into her words. “Not in a playing capacity,” he admitted for the second time in one night.
“You’re not going back on the ice?” She patted his arm as if she cared, causing a huge lump to lodge itself in his throat. “But you love hockey.”
Blake cleared his throat and willed his voice to remain steady. “I’m thirty-five, it’s time to retire. I had a good run.”
“What will you do?”
Did he detect hope in her voice? “The Sockeyes have offered me a coaching job.”
“Oh.” Her face fell, and he wished he could make her smile instead, only he couldn’t and wouldn’t lie to her.
“I don’t know what I want so I came here to get my head on straight and consider my options.”
“It was nice talking to you.” Sarah nodded and stood abruptly, ending their conversation as if she’d heard enough.
Before Blake could explain further, she skirted around the group and disappeared into the house. He rested his elbows on his thighs and propped his head in his hands, staring into the flickering fire. Eva was right about one thing. His parents would approve of Sarah, but Sarah had taken her stance. As long as hockey was his life, they had no future. He understood her desire to have as normal a life as possible.
Waiting for him to come home after a long road trip only to leave again a few days later wasn’t the way she wanted to live. It’d be difficult even if they lived in the same city as the team, but Sarah didn’t. Every option open to him required he reside a majority of the time in Seattle. No matter how he spun it, he couldn’t see a future for them no matter how badly they wanted it.
She’d slipped away, and he’d let her go once again.
Chapter 4
Slapshot
The following Monday evening, Sarah had just finis
hed with her last furry patient when Janna peeked her head in the door.
“You have a last-minute patient.”
Sarah sighed and put her lab coat back on. She should’ve known she’d never get out of the office on time. “Okay, bring him in.”
Janna grinned at her. “It’s Mr. Tall, Dark, and Hockey.” She ducked out the door before Sarah could respond or throw something at her. A few seconds later Blake stood sheepishly in the doorway holding a cat in his big hands.
She forced her gaze away from his blue-gray one and concentrated on the handsome feline. “He’s grown.”
“Yeah, hard to believe he’s over a year old,” Blake answered almost proudly as he sat the cat on the examining table and gently restrained him.
“What brings you here?” Sarah pretended to be all business despite how hard her pulse raced, her heart pounded, and her hands shook.
“Just routine stuff. I never seem to have time for it back in Seattle, but I have lots of time on my hands now. He needs his shots, an exam. I’m not keeping you from anything?”
“No, not at all.” Sarah went to work, trying to maintain distant professionalism, but when her hand brushed his, her feelings were anything but professional. She performed the necessary tasks with efficient precision, finishing in record time. She had to get this man out of her clinic before she did something stupid like beg him to take her any way he pleased with his cat and her dog as an audience. Or even worse, Janna.
Speaking of the devil, Janna poked her head in the door. “I’m heading out. I’ll lock up.”
Sarah nodded. “We’re done here. I’ll be right behind you.”
Janna raised a brow and smirked. “Sure, you will be. Good night, Blake. That lasagna you brought to the party was epic. I’ve never tasted anything like it. When you finish your NHL career, you should open a restaurant.”
Blake blanched and paled at the innocent reminder his career was over. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“There’s a nice little waterfront café for sale right now. It’d be a great place for someone who doesn’t want to have a big restaurant and just wants a dozen or so tables. Perfect for you since you wouldn’t necessarily need to turn a huge profit.” Janna wouldn’t give it up, and Sarah wanted to strangle her well-meaning friend. Blake swallowed and concentrated on his cat as if nothing was wrong. Yet Sarah knew everything was wrong. In fact, she suspected he was a hot mess.
“That’s nice,” he remarked casually, yet his voice was strained.
“Janna, I’ll see you tomorrow. We’re fine here.”
Janna raised a brow and grinned, completely misinterpreting why Sarah wanted her gone. “Oh, I’m sure you two are fine.”
Sarah shot her a murderous glare, which didn’t affect her friend and employee one bit. At least she took the not-so-subtle hint and left.
Blake glanced at Sarah with such profound sadness in his eyes, she wanted to wrap him in her arms and never let him go, but the man didn’t need a rescuer. He needed to figure out his priorities after hockey and decide what to do with the rest of his life. Most likely without Sarah in it.
She picked up Blake’s cat, Nick, and gave him a hug, feeling proud of the part she’d played in his rescue. When Blake brought the poor thing into the clinic on Christmas Eve last year, the kitten had been near death, frozen, and starving. Together they’d nursed him back to health and formed a bond not easily broken. Even though she’d ended their relationship months ago, she still couldn’t completely sever that bond. By the wistful expression on Blake’s face, neither could he.
“I’m done here. Since no one is left in the office, I’ll send you the bill.”
“That’d be fine.” Blake picked up Nick and put him in the crate he’d left near the clinic door, which brought about a round of pitiful wailing from the poor animal. “He doesn’t like to be confined.”
“None of them do. Nice seeing you again. Merry Christmas.” Sarah dismissed him and strode into her office. She removed her lab coat and hung it up, grabbing her purse and keys. When she walked into the waiting room, Blake stood there with an apologetic smile on his face and holding the cat crate in one hand. Lying on his dog bed in the corner of the waiting room, Cyrus thumped his tail but didn’t move. He didn’t believe in expending excess energy and always waited until she signaled she was actually leaving.
“Is there a problem?” Part of her wanted there to be a problem—anything to keep him around a little longer. Dangerous thinking, but there it was.
“I, uh, I wanted to know if I could take you to dinner. If you don’t have plans, that is.” He’d given her an easy out.
She opened her mouth to make up a lame excuse, but instead the words poured from her heart instead of her head. “I’d like that. I’m starved. Why don’t you leave Nick here with Cyrus? We’ll come back for them when we’re done.”
His smile lit up his face, and his eyes regained their sparkle. “Great. You pick the place.”
“There’s not much to choose from in the off season. How about the Island Pub?” She suggested the bar where most of the locals hung out and the least intimate eating establishment on the island, so he wouldn’t get the wrong idea.
“Best burgers in town.” He waited for her to lock the clinic door.
“Let’s walk. It’s only a couple blocks.” Sarah turned to find him close behind her. She made the mistake of looking into his blue-gray eyes. She felt herself falling under their spell as his gaze pulled her deeper. For a moment, she thought he might kiss her. Her lips parted, sending him a silent invitation without her conscious permission. He touched her cheek with the rough pads of his fingers. Her breath hitched, and her entire body poised for more. A car honked on the street next to the clinic and snapped her out of her trance. She shook her head and slipped away from him.
Kissing him would send her back to square one when it came to getting over him.
She didn’t dare go there.
Not now and not in the next one hundred years.
* * *
Blake could not believe Sarah had accepted his dinner invitation. He’d prepared himself for a bullshit excuse. Then they’d almost kissed. If it hadn’t been for old Mr. Sanders choosing that moment to drive by and lay on the horn, they would’ve. He didn’t know whether to curse the man or thank him.
Sarah walked briskly, and he hobbled to keep pace. She entered the pub ahead of him, almost as if she regretted her rash decision to have dinner with him and wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. Choosing a table in the middle of the large room, rather than one of the more intimate booths lining the walls, Sarah took a seat.
He didn’t really know why he’d invited her to dinner any more than he understood why she accepted. Hadn’t he reminded himself a few days ago they had no future? Yet, his damn SUV pretty much drove itself to the clinic today. Yeah, and it put the cat in the crate and loaded him up, too.
Blake was a pathetic mess, and he needed someone. That someone happened to be Sarah. Only using her because he was needy didn’t set well with him. He’d only leave her again and break both their hearts.
Being alone was tough because all his buddies had women in their lives who were permanent fixtures. Blake’s own parents had been the best example a person could have of a good relationship. If he couldn’t have what they had, he didn’t want anything. But healthy relationships required sacrifices on both sides. If Blake wanted Sarah in his life, he’d have to sacrifice hockey. So far he couldn’t fathom his life without hockey any more than he could imagine her leaving her vet practice and moving to the mainland.
He’d examined their situation upside down and inside out until he wanted to shout in frustration. Regardless of how he spun it, he kept coming to the same conclusion. He loved her. When two people really loved each other, shouldn’t they be able to overcome any obstacle blocking their future together? Love wasn’t easy, but it was worth it, as witnessed by his parents’ relationship. Yet here he was, thirty-five and alone with very
little to show for his years except a shitload of money which meant very little to him, and no one upon whom to lavish his good fortune.
He fucking hated being alone.
With a sigh, Blake ended his pity party and took a seat at the table across from Sarah. The bar was pretty quiet, only a handful of people scattered at tables and a few others playing a game of pool near the back.
“Hey, Sarah,” said a big, bald bartender as he placed a glass of red wine in front of her without even asking what she wanted.
“Thanks, Phil.” Sarah smiled up at him, while Blake watched intently. Her smile wasn’t the smile of a lover—former or current—so he let out a relieved sigh.
The man turned to Blake. A friendly smile crossed his face. “What’ll you have?”
“A dark beer on tap.”
“You got it.” He placed a couple dilapidated menus in front of them and wandered off, stopping on his way to talk to another group of locals.
“Come here a lot?” Blake asked.
“Enough. Phil is an island staple. I’ve known him all my life. He was good friends with my father.” At the mention of her father who’d died a few years ago, her lower lip quivered, and Blake longed to comfort her. She wouldn’t want his comfort, and he’d be unwise to give it. He was confused enough when it came to his feelings for her. He suspected she felt the same.
It struck Blake that Phil most likely knew Sarah better than he did. Phil had probably known her longer and spent more time with her. Perhaps he’d known her mother before she’d succumbed to cancer. Hell, Phil might’ve known Blake’s family, though they hadn’t been much for frequenting bars when they’d been vacationing on the island.
Suddenly he realized Sarah was speaking to him. “Sorry, I missed that.”
She smiled sympathetically at him. “I drift off a lot this time of year myself.” She reached out to pat his hand. He couldn’t resist, he caught her hand in his and held it. She didn’t pull away. Her deep brown eyes met his, holding his gaze.
