The Strength to Fall (McKinnon Brothers Book 1)

by Chisolm, D. M.

  I was really glad I made the decision to push Ozias to help me in the bath. I looked through the baskets around the tub and found gardenia scented bath salts and honey-oatmeal soap. Hoping the two scents don’t clash, I poured a handful of the bath salts in swirled them until they dissolved. There was a neck pillow on the back of the tub so I reclined and felt truly relaxed for the first time in hours.

  I jumped at the feeling of my shoulder being rocked back and forth. “What! What happened?” I shook my head out of sleepiness and realized I had fallen asleep in the tub! Horrified, I covered my breast and lifted my knees to block my naked body. When I looked up I see Ozias with one hand over his eyes just barely peeking out and his hand on my shoulder and a towel draped across his forearm. I snatched the towel a little harder than I meant to.

  “You feel asleep. I’ve been knocking and calling your name but when you didn’t answer I got worried. I would never have come in if I wasn’t concerned. You’ve had a rough day so when you didn’t answer…”

  “Oh, my God! I guess I was so relaxed. Did you, um, did you see anything?”

  “Well, I tried not to. I just poked my head in first to make sure you were still sitting up in the tub. I saw that you were asleep so I tried knocking and calling again, but,” Ozias cleared his throat.

  “Go on, I what?”

  “You were, um, snoring.” Lovely, just lovely. First burping and now snoring. Great.

  “Let me get my suit back on and I’ll call you right back.”

  Ozias stood there for a moment debating what to do. “Well, I’m here right now and I’ve kinda seen….”

  “God! Just get out!” I screamed. Ozias bolted out the room. I decided I didn’t need his help anymore tonight. My ankle felt much better anyway, after resting, icing, the air cast and this hot bath. I pushed myself to the side of the tub only using my arms and left leg. Swinging my legs right leg around was not enjoyable but I could manage on my own. I had to anyway. It’s not like I would have help in a few days anyway. I dried off as best I could sitting down then attempted to stand without putting pressure on my foot. I was wobbly but I did it. I hopped to the sink and got my crutched. There! I don’t need Ozias McKinnon’s help!

  “Ozias, I’ve got my crutches and I’m fine. Please leave the room and close the door. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I hollered so he could hear me clearly through the door. It was a few minutes before I heard the door close.

  Chapter Six

  Why are doctor’s offices always so cold? I was thinking this while staring at Doc’s diploma, Alastair Fraser McKinnon, graduated from Harvard Medical School in 1986. Impressive. Doc walked in the exam room holding my x-ray report. He looked kinder in his khaki pants and light blue button down shirt. He was teaching today so he didn’t wear scrubs. I was staring at him waiting to hear my diagnosis.

  “Well, no breaks, as I assumed, but never hurts to rule it out. You have just a deep sprain. Pretty common actually but I guess the way you fell and my son hitting you as hard as he did has caused this much pain. If you continue with the RICE, and no walking on it until it doesn’t hurt to apply pressure, you should heal completely anywhere from 1 to 6 weeks. Most of that depends on you. The swelling already has gone down from the initial trauma. I’m assuming that means you stayed at Ozias’ last night and not on the floor of your co-op?” He looked at me questionably.

  “Yes, I stayed in his guest room and elevated my foot with the sleep number mattress. I am thankful for his generous offer to let me stay, but I think I will be fine in my unit now. My furniture will be delivered on Tuesday.”

  “That is your choice, of course, but it’s my opinion that you should not sleep on the floor. If you want to heal faster, you need to stay off of it as much as possible, RICE, and that includes elevation. A floor is just not conducive to healing. Look, I know my son is not exactly the kind of guy you want to spend your free time with, but he’s harmless. I can make sure he has some groceries in the house, because God knows he never does, and he’s gone a lot so you won’t have to put up with him much.”

  I was speechless for a few minutes while I processed all the things he said about his own son. My heart broke for Ozias in that moment and I was now feeling guilty for my reaction last night in the bathroom and for leaving this morning without even letting him know I was going to the hospital without him.

  “Doc, I know we just met but honestly your son is one of the most generous men I’ve ever met. He’s more of a gentleman than most of the men I grew up with, and that’s saying a lot. It’s none of my business but I don’t understand why you are so hard on him. Just in the short time I’ve known him it’s obvious he desires your approval.” I held my breath waiting for a nasty comeback. When I didn’t get one, I breathed a sigh of relief but when I looked in his eyes I recoiled.

  “How I treat my son and our issues are none of your business, Ms. McLeod. I’m doing all this for you because he caused your injury, although, I wonder why you would take up for him so fiercely? What is your motivation?” He paused in thought. “You know, I wondered who Claire willed her co-op to. Our building is one of the hardest to get into in the area. Since meeting you, I now wonder what she was thinking.” He sighed. “She was the most alive person I’ve ever met. So much spark….” He stopped himself when he saw me staring at him with wide eyes.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but as you most likely know, Aunt Claire had no children. I’m the only daughter of her siblings. Even though she kept her life distant from us in the past few years, we all knew she loved us. The times she’d grace us with her presence I was just enraptured by her. You’re right, she was, well, like you said…alive. It was a shock to hear she had died from a brain aneurism in the middle of the night. I always assumed she would pass doing something fun and even a little crazy, but if life has taught me anything it’s that it’s not fair.” Doc jerked back like I slapped him, a look of pain sweep across his face. He stared at me like he was trying to decide if he wanted to comeback from that statement. He just nodded sensing that I was ready to go. “Don’t you have a class to teach?”

  “Yes, it’s a small Saturday class, more like tutoring. It starts in about an hour. You were here earlier than I thought you’d be so I was getting caught up on some paperwork in my office. Why didn’t Ozias come with you?”

  “I didn’t wake him. He’s already been put out enough. I’m better today, just sore and still in some pain. I’ll decide where I’ll stay later, but right now I need to go.” I grabbed the crutches and headed for the door.

  Doc spoke stopping me before I left the room. “Ms. McLeod, you’re right about one thing. Life isn’t fair. It truly isn’t.”

  Chapter Seven

  Here I am again, staring at the elevator doors waiting to take me to the 40th floor and trying my best to just get on and ride up like any normal person. That’s just it though, I’m not any normal person. I’m an anxiety ridden shell of the person I used to be and right now I hate this version of myself. I’m doing my breathing exercise and I have my earbuds in listening to my music—all tactics taught to me by my therapist, Dr. May. This is how I convinced myself to get on for the trip down when I went to see Doc. That and the fear of seeing Ozias after our awkward evening. It still was a horrible trip, but at least I did it. I’m telling myself that now as I see the circular, red lights highlighting the floor numbers slowly descend and I brace myself for the door to open as it reaches the lobby. Ding. I hear the signal that it’s reached its destination.

  “Adira!” Ozias is standing in front of me with a worried expression on his face. I took my earbuds out so I can hear him. “Where have you been? You didn’t answer your cell so I’ve been worried!”

  “I went to see Doc, to get my x-ray.” I felt a to– the-point explanation was all he needed and I really didn’t want to have another stressful day, so I avoided the real question in his eyes.

  “You could have woken me. I would have taken you.” He seemed really hurt and I sil
ently cursed myself again.

  “You had done enough for me, and besides, I’m capable of taking care of myself.” I crossed my arms across my chest and held my head up. I really doubted the words I said but that was why I was here, to prove just that.

  “Are you on your way up?”

  “Yes, I’m tired. I think I’ll lie down.”

  “Have you eaten? If not, I could get you something or take you somewhere?”

  I started to oppose but the truth was I hadn’t eaten and I was starving so, I figured this was a peace offering. “Ok. Where do you want to go?” Ozias’ startled expression told me he thought I’d say no.

  “There’s a coffee shop around the corner that has a small breakfast and lunch menu. Would that be ok?”

  “Yes, that’s just fine.” I turned on my crutches and followed him to the coffee shop.

  It was a quaint little shop with only enough table and chairs to sit about twenty people. The smell of coffee hit me and I breathed in the wonderful scent. I smiled, coffee always made me smile.

  “Here we can sit in the corner by the window. That will give you the most room.” He escorted me to the table and his hand lightly touched the small of my back. It was an intimate gesture and his touch made me shiver. Why does this affect me so? It was starting to annoy me in a way because I really had no intention of dating or really looking for a man while I was here. I had to focus or I’d lose sight of my goals, to be an independent woman, and that was very important to me.

  I sat down and Ozias went to the counter and pointed to me as he spoke to the man behind the counter. I saw the man shake his head indicating a “yes” and grab a pen and pad and came to our table.

  “I asked Charles, the manager, to take your order at our table so you don’t have to stand up.” He motioned to Charles as he sat down across from me.

  I appreciated the gesture but I really didn’t want to be treated like an invalid, but I was trying to make peace between us so I smiled and looked to Charles.

  “Here’s our breakfast menu. It’s 9:00 so we’ll cook breakfast items for 30 more minutes unless you would prefer to wait for the lunch menu and just have coffee or tea until then.” He handed me a small menu. I looked to Ozias as to what he’d prefer.

  “Your choice. I could do either.” Ozias said.

  “Well, I think we’ll just have breakfast then.” I glanced at the menu and saw a veggie omelet. “I’ll have the vegetable omelet with wheat toast and a medium caramel mocha, skim milk, but with whip cream.” I handed him back the menu.

  “I’ll have the Greek omelet with wheat toast and a medium roast coffee, just bring cream and sugar.” Ozias gave Charles his order and Charles left to walk to the kitchen.

  The shop was almost empty with just a few patrons so I felt the need to whisper when I talked. I decided to clear the elephant in the room.

  “Ozias.” He looked at me nervously. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for my reaction last night and I hope you know how much I appreciate all you did for me. It was unfair of me to get that upset when I was the one who talked you into helping me in the tub in the first place. Plus, I could tell by your actions you were trying very hard not to look.” I couldn’t help but smile and lightly laugh when I said that. Ozias looked relieved at hearing me laugh about the situation. I also saw a slight blush.

  “I really did just want to help. I know that seems impossible that a man really wasn’t trying to just take advantage of a situation, Hell, I know my brothers would have done just that. I’m just not that kind of guy.” He looked to his hand folded on the table and I wondered if he was trying to tell me he was gay. That would be startling to me only because of the reaction I keep having to him and the connection I thought we had. It would be my luck to fall for a guy that couldn’t be interested in me in any way. He must have realized what I was thinking because he started to speak louder and with more emphasis.

  “Wait, that didn’t come out right. I don’t mean I’m not the kind of guy who doesn’t want to see a beautiful woman naked in my tub. I’m just not the kind of guy to take advantage of the situation….if that makes what I was trying to say more clear.” He seemed very concerned I wouldn’t believe him.

  “I believe you, Ozias, and that is one of the reasons I’m apologizing. I was very tired and embarrassed and I behaved poorly. Please let’s just start over. Clean slate?” I extended my hand towards his as a peace offering.

  “Clean slate.” He took my hand and shook it and that electric shock returned. We both snapped our heads up to make eye contact. His pupils dilated and his lips were tight, like he was trying hard to concentrate and I just smiled the goofiest school girl crush smile imaginable. God, I was hopeless. Thankfully Charles returned with our coffees and we had to break hands. If I had to keep holding Ozias’ hand for much longer I wouldn’t want to let go.

  I watched Ozias prepare his coffee like he wanted, taking small sips and adding more cream or sugar until it was just right. He added two sugars and two creams, I made a mental note. Wait! That’s so a girlfriend type of thing! I’m in trouble if I don’t clearly set the boundary for this relationship right now—we’re friends and neighbors, that’s it. It can’t be more because if I allow that to happen I will never accomplish what I came here to do. I slowly sipped my coffee and when I removed my lips from the cup I had a whip cream mustache. I started to use my napkin to wipe it away when I felt Ozias’ finger graze my lip. I jerked back and met his eyes. He took his finger covered with whip cream and licked it slowly. What the hell!!! This guy ran hot and cold! I was in a daze watching him lick the whip cream…..Oh…my….God, I’m in trouble.

  I leaned in closer to him. “What was that?” I asked in a hushed voice but with an edge of anger.

  “I, I don’t know. It’s like I couldn’t help myself.” He signed and looked down. “I’ve never done anything like that before. I would have never even dared to. I don’t know what it is about you that makes me do things and say things I would never and have never done.” He glanced up at me. “I know that’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”

  I didn’t know what to say so I just sat there and lifted my cup back to my lips as I licked the rest of the whip cream from my lips.

  “Please don’t lick your lips like that,” Ozias said in a strained voice.

  I knew then that there was no way to stop this, whatever this was, we both were feeling. We had some kind of amazing but confusing and frustrated connection. If this was a man I’d never see again, I’d just let it go, but he lived right next door. I had to handle this now.

  “Ozias, do you know why my aunt willed me her co-op or did you even know that she had?” His shocked expression told me this was not what he was expecting me to say, but I needed to change the subject fast.

  Charles came to the table with our food right then and I think Ozias felt relieved. We both were quiet for several minutes as we started to eat. The omelet was wonderful and I realized how hungry I really was. Yes, eating was a good distraction from the heavy feelings I was having.

  Ozias wiped his mouth after finishing his omelet and started to speak. “No, I didn’t and don’t know why Claire willed you her co-op. I know she had been married once but I don’t even know the man’s name, she just called him “her late husband”, and she rarely spoke about him. I know she didn’t have children, so I assumed since she passed so suddenly that either she had named someone in her will, a local friend, or that she gave the board permission to sell it. I know she willed her possessions to charity so that wouldn’t have surprised me. I’ll be honest though, the last thing I would have thought was that she willed it to family. I’m sure it’s hard to hear, but she never spoke of you, of any of her family, I mean, I knew you existed but never any details or names. The few trips she took to see family she seemed forlorn and nervous to go.” He looked regretful to say those word to me.

  “Forlorn and nervous? I never would have thought that. Yes, she rarely visited, but when she was there she was smiling an
d laughing, full of energy. She’d do scavenger hunts with my brothers and me and take us to fun and interesting places. She was exciting. My parents owned a small restaurant so they worked all the time. They were wonderful people, but very busy people.”

  “I didn’t mean to make you think she didn’t want to see you. I’m just telling you what she was like to me. She would stay gone for weeks and come home and sleep for days. Then she’d appear out of nowhere and ask me if I wanted to get pizza and watch a movie or go walk in the park. We talked about mundane things and she asked me about my life, or lack thereof, but if I asked her personal questions she’d change the subject. My only aunt is about Claire’s age but she’s snobby and the most unpleasant person. Claire was fun and like the aunt mine wasn’t. Ozias really did miss my aunt and it was wrong, but I felt jealous.

  “Do you know what year she moved in to the co-op? I know she lived in some mansion with her late husband. I never met him. I believe he was her boss for years. I think his name was Howard, I don’t even remember his last name because she kept her maiden. He was wealthy and she did get a good deal of money when he passed. I guess that’s how she bought the co-op? I remember my grandmother telling me he passed away from cancer when they had only been married three years. I think it was 2006, the year I graduated from high school and one of her last times to visit. She came only one more time to see me graduate from college and the twins from high school, 2009.”

  “That’s the year she moved in, 2006. I remember because a couple lived next door but when they had their third child they wanted to move out of the city to a house with a yard. Dad was hoping my brother would buy it and if not he was going to, but then Claire bought it. It was in 2009 dad bought my unit from another couple and he let me move in until I could one day purchase it from him.

  “So, you’d known her since 2006, then?”

  He shook his head yes. “Hey, are you ready to go?” He asked breaking my thoughts. “It looks like it may rain and with you on crutches, that may be difficult.”