by Howe, Olivia
“Are you watching me sleep,” Gavin said.
“Yes.”
“Will you stop?”
“No,” I giggled.
He opened his brown, dazzling eyes to me and smiled. I loved his smile, it would immediately make me smile.
I craved it. I crawled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. When I came back, Gavin was up and getting dressed.
It was Christmas Eve, and we only had a two days left as an imaginary couple. I didn’t want it to end.
“Good morning.” I felt odd talking to him. Like something had shifted between us. There was an air of something I couldn’t quite identify, and I wanted to right the wrong. I wanted to apologize for throwing myself at him. Although I had wanted it, I knew it wasn’t right.
He turned to face me. “Hey.”
The moment our eyes met again my heart slammed into my chest all at once. Hard, rapid, and out of control.
Our bodies pulled together like magnets, and we were across the room in a flash. His arms encased me in their masculinity. His lips were on mine within seconds.
What was I thinking? We were drawn together, and it had been so long for both of us. In some sense we were a lot alike. Gavin and I, we were both living a lonely life. A life with no meaning, and in this moment we understood one another.
Heated passion erupted all around us. Scientist would say we were attracted to each other in this moment because we hadn’t had sex in a long time. Psychiatrists would probably say, because of our past relationships we were both searching for something. Something we both found in each other.
But for me, I say we were attracted to each other because we were each other’s one. He was the one for me, and I wanted to be the one for him.
So as he flung me onto the bed, I smiled. As he ripped my clothes off, I smiled. I smiled because I wanted this more than anything. I tried to push all the negativity and repercussions out of my mind.
I just went with it.
Gavin’s eyes seared into mine as he positioned himself on top of me, his hands wrapping around me. Our lips couldn’t connect fast enough, our bodies were fighting the fact we hadn’t done this ages ago.
His hand reached across my cheek. “You’re so beautiful. I need you.”
Without a word, I answered him. I answered him by bringing my lips to his. I answered him by bucking my hips beneath him. I answered him by running my hands across his chest.
We moved together on the bed, united by this common need, this common want of each other. My body was firing on all cylinders. His hands were working a condom on himself as he kissed his way all over my body.
I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think- passion had taken over. The primal instinct to mate had won out and I was no longer thinking as Holly Mathis, no I was thinking as a woman who needed this man with everything that possessed her.
He stilled his body on top of mine, the sunlight pouring through the window and his eyes sought mine.
“Is this okay?” he asked.
“Yes.” I shook my head up and down as a smile spread across his face.
Who was this man? Who was this man who knew my body so well? Every touch was a new experience, every kiss a new feeling. He knew how to make me feel alive.
I’d never felt anything so mind-numbingly amazing before. He placed himself at my opening, and I held my breath.
All at once he entered me, and my body shot off the bed. My body acclimated to his size as he moved slowly in and out. His hips rocked and my legs wrapped around his back.
His kisses trailed along my neck which kept me rooted to the spot. Without his kisses, I would have escaped the moment. He would never allow it. He plunged deeper inside me, he was exploring me inside and out. Reaching into my soul, and connecting on a deeper level. I couldn’t allow myself to fall for him, but who was I kidding? The way he touched me made me believe this was real. Made me pray this was real.
I moaned his name, as he kept focusing on his mission. The task of making me fall. Fall completely, and utterly into him.
His breathing was labored, ragged even. I opened my eyes, and he was there. His brown eyes spilling into mine.
“You feel so fucking good.” He sank deeper inside me with every thrust of his hips.
My body was on the verge, on the verge of unleashing an orgasm I never thought I could experience. In all my life no man had ever made love to me in such a way. He was gentle, yet rough. He was caressing, yet, unforgiving.
My body climbed to the point of where it could go no higher, and then came crashing down around me. Intensity, fire, tingles, and tremors exploded from every pore. My inner walls clenched his firmness as he stared at me. Gazed at me as if there were no other women alive. No other woman who could make him feel this good.
Fascinated by my orgasm, his eyes rolled back. “I can’t hold on anymore. Holly, I’m going to come.”
I ran my nails down his back and landed on his perfectly formed ass. His orgasm shot through him like a billion stars exploding all at once. A supernova of emotion, and he kept pushing. Kept pulsating on top of me.
His body was laced with a pure sheen of sweat, and I smiled up at him.
Once it was over, and we both came back to this level of awareness he climbed off me. He walked to the bathroom to rid himself of the condom.
I dressed back in my clothes when he finally appeared from the bathroom.
He stalked across the room and brought both hands to my face, crashing his lips to mine.
I didn’t know what to make of the situation. Everything was different now. Yet, I felt comfortable around him. I was freaking out, yet calm. My body didn’t know what to do.
Do I ask him what all this means? Do I keep quiet?
I decided on the latter.
***
After we went downstairs and had breakfast, everyone was gathering around to decorate the tree. We laughed while we decorated, and something had changed between Gavin and I. We didn’t need to pretend anymore, it almost felt real. We laughed and clung onto each other while we sat cuddled on the couch.
Amy and Allison sat on the floor with the baby, Skye as they decorated the tree. Christmas music filled the house and for once on the holidays I was happy. Pretend or not, I wanted this feeling to never end.
Gavin and I spent the remainder of the afternoon sitting by the fire, wrapped in each other’s arms. We watched the activity of the house as we nestled into each other.
Allison began preparing a few dishes so she wouldn’t be cooking all day tomorrow, and after a while I made my way into the kitchen.
“Need any help, Allison?”
“Holly, I don’t need any help but I could always use the company.” She stirred together the contents of a green bean casserole she was preparing, so tomorrow she could just stick it in the oven.
“Okay sure.” I sat at the small table in the kitchen as I breathed in the smell of her cooking.
“You know over a year ago, I didn’t know how to cook a thing. My only dish I could make was spaghetti, but we all change when we meet the right one. I didn’t want my husband to starve, so I learned real quick,” she said, laughing.
“Well, I think you’re cooking is amazing.”
“Thank you.” She stopped what she was doing and turned around to face me for a moment. “So, what about you?”
“Can I cook? Sure,” I said.
She laughed. “No, I mean do you think Gavin is the one?”
I was shocked for a moment, and I was sure the evidence was written all over my face. Allison turned back around to continue stirring as I contemplated. I wanted Gavin to be the one. But was he? I wasn’t too sure, I knew I had never felt this way about anyone ever. Yet, the one?
“I don’t know, we’ve only been dating for a little while.” Like not at all, I thought to myself.
“I think you two are made for each other. You want to know a secret?” She came and sat beside me at the tabl
e, her casserole abandoned while she spoke. “I’ve never seen Gavin this happy. I mean the way he looks at you, I’ve never seen him stare at anyone like that before.”
I felt a sense of pride escalate through me as the words left Allison’s mouth. “Thank you,” I said as I thought about Gavin.
The rest of the day was uneventful as we ate dinner, and then nestled around in front of the fire to chat the night away. It was amazing, and I wanted to come here every year. I felt like I belonged here.
Gavin held my hand, and walked me to our bedroom at the end of the night. As we lay in bed, he scooted me closer to him as we made sweet love all through the night. Tomorrow was Christmas, and I couldn’t wait to figure out what would happen afterwards. But, I knew Gavin and I would be together forever.
Christmas morning, waking up in Gavin’s arms was like a fairytale.
We dressed and rushed downstairs as Allison was placing the last of the presents under the tree. Skye was hyper and crawling around, while Luke chased after her.
“Present time,” Allison said as we made our way down the staircase.
We opened each other’s gifts for the next hour, laughing, and chatting. Luke had given Allison a beautiful weeping willow charmed necklace with beautiful sapphires in it, and we all ooh’ed and aww’ed over it.
Gavin turned to me when everyone went into the kitchen to start cooking for the day and held in his hands a jewelry box. The red velvet box sat in his hand as he gazed into my eyes. “For you,” he said as he handed it to me.
“You didn’t need to get me anything,” I said, shocked.
“Holly, I want you to know how thankful I am you came here with me. I also want you to know I care about you.” He nudged the box further into my hands as he kissed me on my cheek which sent chills down my body.
I opened the box and there sat a beautiful silver bracelet with cute charms along it. There was a charm with a cute silver handbag, a music note, a slipper, and a star. I laughed when I held the slipper one and he smiled.
“The music note's for your love of Christmas tunes, and the star…well it’s the one thing I still want to show you.”
He took my hand and led me off the couch. Hand in hand we walked out the back door and over to the barn. We climbed the steps and Gavin opened the door at the top.
When we stepped back it was like being transported into a planetarium. Stars hung from the ceilings, and clung to the walls. Large Christmas lights lit the room up, and it truly was magnificent. I couldn’t believe it, gone were the flowers and couch. In its place a big silver pillow. A huge pillow type couch where two people could lie comfortably on.
We headed over and took a seat as Gavin kissed my shoulder. “Holly, I’m falling for you,” he said as he peppered kisses down my neck.
Chapter Thirteen
GAVIN
I was falling for her, plain and simple. And, when this whole holiday was over and when we returned back home, I’d be sure she knew how badly I wanted to start a life with her. I wanted her in my life.
So as I held my breath waiting for her reply, her eyes bore into mine. “Say something, Holly.”
“I think I’m falling for you too,” she whispered.
The whole world crashed around me with happiness. My pulse quickened listening to her sweet soft voice, and I knew I’d found the one I was meant to be with.
The smile on my face couldn’t have gotten any bigger if I’d tried. She flung herself onto me, and I kissed her with all the emotion I felt for her. I loved kissing her, I loved touching her. I wanted this.
We cuddled on the oversized pillow on the floor and gazed all around at the twinkling Christmas lights.
“When did you find time to do all of this?” she asked.
“The other day, Luke helped me.”
She scooted closer to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. Kissing her softly as my heart thumped in my chest.
“We should get headed back,” she said.
“No.” I didn’t want to leave just yet, I was enjoying myself with her. I pulled her alongside my body as she purred.
After a few more minutes of kissing, we decided to head back to the house. As we approached the back, a car sat in the driveway and Holly turned to me. “Who’s that?”
“I’m not sure, I think it may be George and his wife, Mable.”
She beamed to me as we stepped into the back door and the smell of the kitchen hit us all at once. I was so excited to have Holly on my arms and I never wanted to let her go.
As soon as we stepped into the living area, I was met with a set of eyes I never wanted to see again. Fuck.
Sabrina sat with her mother on the couch, chatting away to Amy and Dan. Her long figure, blonde hair, and big smile intruded on my senses. I wanted to walk away, I wanted to leave.
I had never expected for Sabrina of all people to show up on Christmas day. Why would Allison and Luke invite her here?
She bounced off the couch and headed right for me. With her tanned arms, she snaked them around my neck and planted a firm kiss on my cheek.
I took her arms in my hand and pushed her away as Holly moved further away from me. Oh shit, Holly. I had never had the time to even explain who this wretched creature was.
Sabrina and Luke had dated many years ago, and as a ploy to piss off my brother I had slept with Sabrina a few times. When Luke caught us, that was pretty much the end of our friendship and kinship as brothers. It took me a long time to get Luke to ever trust me again.
Well when Sabrina had caught wind that Vivian and I were no longer a couple, she began calling me- a lot.
Sabrina’s eyes glanced over Holly’s body and a scowl replaced her smile. “Who is this?” she asked with a shrill in her voice.
“Sabrina, this is my girlfriend Holly.”
Holly reached out her hand to shake Sabrina’s and as they shook hands I could see Sabrina’s temper flaring.
“You don’t have a girlfriend,” Sabrina said, chuckling.
“Uh, yes I do.” I wrapped an arm around Holly as I kissed her on the top of her head.
“Since when?” Sabrina laughed as she kept staring at Holly with a look of horror.
“For a little while now.”
“I called you a few days ago, do you remember, you were drunk.” Sabrina scooted closer to me, speaking in a hushed tone.
Holly stepped away from my body, and my heart was plummeting. This couldn’t be happening.
Everyone was in the kitchen, laughing and sipping on wine. The television blared with an old classic Christmas movie, but I was stuck alone, in the living room with Sabrina’s hands making their way up my chest and Holly retreating slowly.
“I don’t know what to tell you, I don’t remember.”
“Well, let me refresh your memory. You invited me here for Christmas, you told me we could rekindle our old flame.”
I shot my eyes to Holly as I noticed the look of pure disgust on her face. How drunk had I been?
“Excuse me,” Holly said before rushing upstairs.
I took off after her, as I called out her name. Sabrina had pissed me off, I don’t care how drunk I was I knew I would never want to touch her again, ever.
Holly slammed the door shut and I opened it right back up, stepping inside and taking a seat next to her on the bed.
“Holly, I’m sorry.”
“Who is she?”
I told her the whole story, I told her how I had stolen Sabrina away from my brother. I told her how I always treated everything like a game, and never cared about anyone’s feelings but my own. I told her I didn’t remember the conversation Sabrina was talking about, but that didn’t mean it never took place.
“I was lonely before I met you. My life had no meaning, I went to work, came home and got drunk every night. But, I don’t want that life anymore. I want you.”
She took a deep breath as she stared into my eyes. “Gavin, I think this was all a big m
istake.”
When she said the words, I felt like a rock had crushed my chest. I felt as though I couldn’t breathe. “No, Holly please.”
“There’s so much we just don’t know about each other. I think you’re just like you said- lonely.”
I shook my head back and forth, this couldn’t be happening. Sure, she was partly right, I had been lonely for many months. But, being here with her, I felt more alive. I wanted her, I wanted to help her get her purse business up and running, and I had tons of ideas too.
She also inspired me to be a better person, a person who deserved love.
“That’s not true Holly, I want you.”
“I’m calling a cab to pick me up, I just can’t be here anymore,” she said.
“No, please. I don’t want to be with Sabrina,” I said.
“Do you think that’s why I’m upset?”
Wasn’t it? I wasn’t sure why she was upset, she said we didn’t know anything about one another, but I knew everything I needed to know. The rest we could learn over time.
“Isn’t it?”
She hung her head, shaking it from side to side as her hands grabbed at her chest. “It isn’t the reason, I just think this was all a mistake.”
I grabbed her arm, trying to convince her to stay when she pushed my arms away. “Please don’t leave like this Holly. I still need to pay you,” I said.
She grabbed her things, and stared into my eyes. “I don’t want your money.” She pushed past me and headed down the stairs as I chased after her. When she opened the front door, I followed. She had her phone to her ear and was calling the cab company.
“Let me take you home,” I pleaded.
“No, please let me leave. Please, Gavin.”
I stood there as she walked away and I didn’t know if I should run after her or let her go. Heading back into the house, everyone was waiting with questioning eyes.
“She left and I don’t want to talk about it,” I said as I made my way back upstairs.
I needed to get home, I thought as I packed my bags.
An hour later after saying goodbye to my family, I headed off down the road toward my apartment, toward my future, I had to get her back.
