by Penny Wylder
I grit my teeth, fighting the retort that I belong to no one. But in this context I know the answer he wants, so I lower my eyes. “Matthew.”
He reaches out and takes a glass from the tray. “I saw you waiting patiently. I’m sure your master is very proud of you for such excellent service.”
I blush again—before today I didn’t even know that I had the capacity to blush this much—and murmur, “Thank you.” It feels weird to be complimented for waiting with a tray, but considering how much I wanted to run away, it feels like a victory that someone noticed.
I continue my circuit of the room, and luckily no one else is occupied. When I’m down to one glass on the tray, I approach Jenny and Chris who are at the end of my circuit. But Jenny isn’t cuddled in his lap anymore, she’s on her knees, and his cock is all the way down her throat. I offer him the tray.
“It’s good to see you again, Emma,” he says as he takes the final glass. “Though I’m a little surprised. I thought you were on the vanilla side of the wedding.”
“I was,” I say. “I am. I’m just—”
“Emma and I have a difference of opinion on whether or not she’s submissive.” Matthew’s voice comes from behind me, and a second later I feel the heat of him even though he’s not touching me. So close. “I made a bet with her that after three days she would admit it.”
I press my lips together, fighting to keep my mouth shut. Chris sees it and laughs. “You’re a lucky girl, Emma.”
Jenny hasn’t as much as looked up from her task while we’ve talked, and she doesn’t give any sign that she’s going to.
“If you’ll excuse us, Christopher,” Matthew says.
“Of course.”
Hand on my shoulder, Matthew guides me away, back toward the bar and a secluded corner. I put the tray away and he pulls me into his lap in a chair like the other ones scattered across the room. “You did well,” he said.
“I’m guessing you didn’t have me do that because you needed a cocktail waitress.”
“You’re right,” he says, smiling and pulling me closer in his lap. Despite the warmth of the day, I’m getting cold in this outfit, and the heat of his body feels good against mine. I also feel weirdly drained from the experience, and it feels good to just relax. His hand draws circles on my hip, and I let my head rest on his shoulder. “I wanted you to see a bunch of different couples playing, and maybe see some things you’d be curious to try. I also wanted to show you off a little.”
“Show me off?”
“You’re beautiful,” he says, shrugging. “You look sexy as hell in this outfit, and maybe I like to make other people jealous.”
I don’t say anything. I don’t remember a time when someone’s wanted people to be jealous of me. It feels…different. All of this feels different than I expected it to.
“Also,” he says, “there are different kinds of submissives. Some submissives find great joy in serving others. Some find the most joy in being a submissive all the time, and some are submissive only in the bedroom. Those are generalizations, and there are as many variations as there are people. I wanted to see how serving might affect you.” He smiles, and I get distracted by the feeling of his fingers on my skin. “I don’t think you are a service submissive.”
“Oh.” I let myself relax, and even with the sounds and smells of sex around me, I find myself almost drifting off. “What happens now?” I ask through my haze.
“You tell me how you felt while you were watching Karen and Greg.”
I blush, and try to push off his lap, but his hands are like iron on me and I’m not able to move. “Who?”
He raises an eyebrow that tells me he knows I’m only pretending that I don’t know who he’s talking about. But he’s going to let me get away with it. “The couple using the St. Andrew’s cross. How did you feel watching them?”
“I didn’t feel anything.”
“You and I both know that that’s not true. There are no secrets between Doms and subs, or at least there shouldn’t be. The reason we make rules and talk so much is that the way we play, the stakes are higher. We’re not stupid. If one person keeps something from the other, maybe nothing happens. But also maybe one person panics and someone gets hurt. I saw you watching them. Tell me how you felt.”
I can’t meet his eyes. “I was aroused. They were having sex, that’s what happens when you watch people have sex.” Closing my eyes, I shake my head. “I still don’t understand why she would agree to be tied up like that so that anyone can do what they like with her.”
“But you wouldn’t agree to do it with just anyone,” he says gently. “This isn’t about signing up to be assaulted by someone you don’t know. Anyone who says that doesn’t understand BDSM. This lifestyle is all about consent. We call it play for a reason—it’s fun. There shouldn’t be anything happening that both parties aren’t okay with. If you think about it in that context, does it make more sense? It’s not really any different than how vanilla people have relationships. Kinky people just prefer more creative sex.”
“Maybe,” I say, still unsure. I don’t say it out loud, but shouldn’t it be a sign that something’s wrong if you want to be tied up and beaten while you’re getting off? I mean, everyone seems happy, but is that because they just don’t know better?
“So you were aroused,” he says. “What was it that aroused you? Was it just the sex? Or was it the bondage?”
I don’t want to admit that it might have been the bondage, but to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure. I didn’t start to get wet until he was fucking her, so it could have been either. “I’m not sure.”
“Fair enough.”
Jenny and Chris are in my line of vision, and he’s leaned back in the chair while she sucks him, eyes closed. I’m distracted by the look on her face—a kind of eager joy. Chris reaches out, and when she dives down onto his cock, he holds her head still, rendering her immobile so she has to take his cock deeper. “She can’t breathe,” I whisper.
“Chris and Jenny have been together a long time. She is a service submissive, and she’s happiest when she’s serving his pleasure. He knows how long she can hold her breath, and he also knows that she trusts him to choose for her whether or not she gets to breathe. She knows that he would never give her something that she couldn’t handle, and so she doesn’t have to worry or panic about her breath. She’ll breathe when he’s ready.”
“That’s so….” A frustrated sound comes out of me. “That doesn’t make any sense!”
“Then why are you wet?”
I’d been so relaxed that I hadn’t even noticed his hand moving from my hip to my inner thigh and higher to were his fingers are touching me. Where he can feel that I’m embarrassingly wet. It’s mortifying, and when I try to move my hands, to push him away, he holds me still. “His pleasure gives her pleasure. And even if it didn’t, it’s not about the blowjob.” Matthews’s fingers stroke down my pussy, and I shiver with pleasure. I hate that he’s affecting me like this. “Have you ever been able to trust someone like that? So utterly and completely that you’d let them deprive you of air because you know that they’d never hurt you, that they know what you need even better than you do?”
“Nobody can trust anybody that much,” I say. “Inside she must be screaming.”
He laughs, and it sounds a little sad. “We can ask her when they’re finished, if you like.” Another stroke across my clit.
“No, thank you.” He waits. “Sir.”
He laughs softly. “So stubborn. I’m not going to play with you until everyone leaves, but until then, you’re going to wait and watch. And with the exception of your safewords and ‘Yes, Sir,’ you no longer have permission to speak. I think you need some time to think about what you’re looking at and how it all fits together.”
Again, he waits, and I realize he’s waiting for me to agree. “Yes, Sir,” I say, though I can’t even believe that it’s coming out of my mouth.
He lifts me off his lap, and spins m
e, catching my wrists together, and a tiny click, I can’t move my arms in front of me. I can feel the strain on the cuffs and I realize that he’s clipped them together. I whirl on him. “What is this?”
His face is not one recognize. It’s stern and hard—the face of a Dom. “Sub, I told you not to speak. If you disobey again you will be punished.” He’s not even looking at me because he’s arranging something in my underwear, something small that bumps against my clit. “Now kneel.”
I stare at him, glaring, because this isn’t what I thought was going to happen. My intent must be pretty clear because he laughs. “I’m your Dom, Emma. I do not have to tell you everything I’m going to do. You agreed to submit, and I’m not crossing any boundaries. You gave me this power over you freely. Now kneel.” That last word has so much power in it that I fall to my knees in front of him.
Matthew weaves his fingers into my hair and raises my face so that I’m looking at him. “Good. Now turn to face the room.”
I do, and I’m nestled between his legs, hands bound. In this position, it’s impossible not to remember what I am here. I had kind of forgotten. I am one of those girls in the room who’s just doing what he ways. Why did I agree to this? His hands stroke across my shoulders. “Just look, just watch. Take this time to observe.”
Just then the Domme I served comes up to the two of us. “Matthew,” she says, her voice like silk. “I thought for a while you weren’t going to make an appearance at your own play party.”
“I had some things to tend to. But it’s good to see you, Maya.” His hands are still on my shoulders.
The Domme looks down on me, and I look at her. Her eyes are a sharp blue, and the way she’s looking at me makes me shiver. She’s alluring in a way that feels dangerous. “What a lovely little sub you have here.”
“This is Emma. She’s very new, and I’m introducing her to the lifestyle.”
A smile slips across her face like she’s had an idea. “If you’d ever like to share, I’d like to see that luscious mouth buried between my legs.” My mouth falls open and she laughs. “She is very new, isn’t she?”
“Yes. And I’ll keep that idea in mind if I decide she needs some female training.”
I want to scream that I’m right here, that they can’t just talk about me like that, but I can’t speak. Matthew told me not to. Besides, I would have no idea what to say to her. I trust that Matthew isn’t going to go back on his word and let anyone else touch me today.
Maya walks away. I missed their last words thinking about what I would say if I were allowed to speak. And then the words fly right out of my head, because the little thing in my thong turns on. Oh my god, he put a vibrator on me. Oh god, oh god. I’m still so turned on, that I’m suddenly on edge. Matthew’s lips are at my ear. “Time to build some of that trust I was talking about. You do not have permission to move. You do not have permission to speak. You do not have permission to come. You have to trust me. Trust that I’m doing what will bring you the most pleasure. And if you don’t trust me like that yet—which I know you don’t—remember that I am your Dom, and this is what I want. What do you say?”
I’m leaning back against his legs, the vibrations flowing through me and I can barely think. I can’t breathe. Somehow I find the breath and the words. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl.” He presses a kiss against my neck and it makes the whole thing worse—or better, depending on how you look at it.
The little thing keeps vibrating, pressure building in my spine, and I try to wiggle to relive the pressure. Matthew’s hands come down on my shoulders. “I know it’s hard. Do. Not. Move.”
A sound close to a whimper escapes me, and the heat in my body is making me sweat. I’m not going to be able to hold it back. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t—
The vibrations stop, and I can’t help it, I sag with relief. Then Matthew’s fingers are in my hair again, twisting my head back so he can take a kiss. Heat surges through me and it’s like the vibrator is on as he teases my lips open with his tongue. And then his tongue is tangling with mine and I think I hear a low growl in his throat. When he let’s go, I can’t breathe for a second. I’m on overload. Can’t think.
I heave in a breath and open my eyes to see Jenny and Chris watching me. A couple of others too. A flush rolls across my chest, a tinge of embarrassment with it. But honestly, I’m too full of sensation to care. I was more embarrassed watching than being watched.
“She responds so well to you…” Chris says, chuckling. “Maybe you are right, Matthew. I swear you can smell a sub from a mile away.” I glare at him, which only makes him laugh harder. “I don’t think she liked that, though. I think everyone would like to see her come. Are you going to show us?”
A few more people look our way, and I see some nods. A dawning horror blooms in my stomach. Matthew said that I wouldn’t be having sex in public, but he didn’t say that I wouldn’t come, and he just said that he likes to show me off. I’m not sure I can do this. My heart starts to pound and I can’t seem to catch my breath through the corset. “Yellow,” I whisper. “Yellow. Yellow.”
Matthew doesn’t respond to Chris. Instead, he’s out of the chair and in front of me instantly. He searches my eyes. “Hold your breath and count to five.”
I do.
“Again.”
I do.
“Again.”
And the corset eases, I can take a full breath. “What’s going on in there?” he asks me.
“So many people. Please, don’t make me come in front of them.” Sudden and unexpected tears spring into my eyes. “I know what you say goes, but please.”
His hand comes up and cups my face, and he kisses me softly. The kiss feels like calm safety. “Breathe,” he says softly. “Are you asking this because you’re embarrassed or because you’re scared?”
The answer is easy. “Scared.”
He searches my face again. “You don’t mind being watched, but you’re scared that I would listen to what Chris wanted instead of what I thought was best for you.”
The tears spill over my eyes as I nod, relief flooding cold and swift through my chest that he understood. He gathers me closer, pulling me against his chest even with my arms still bound. “Let me be very clear,” he says softly. “I take my responsibilities as a Dom very seriously, and my responsibility is only to you, not to giving my friends treats. And while I think that you might enjoy a little bit of exhibitionism, it wasn’t my plan for today.” There’s a kiss on my forehead.
“Thank you, Sir.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” he says. “I’m not going to force you to come, but until everyone leaves, I am going to display you.”
Matthew wipes away the remnants of the tears, and even though I don’t like the thought of being display, that terror that was constricting my chest is gone. “Display me.”
He helps me to my feet and pulls me over towards the door. “You didn’t mind being seen,” he says. “I felt you after I kissed you. You looked around and saw everyone watching, and you relaxed. So while everyone leaves,” he says, unhooking my cuffs from behind my back, “You get to be everyone’s goodbye treat. Looks only, no touching.”
He re-hooks my cuffs in front, and then to a chain that’s dangling from the ceiling. The chain retreats, pulling my arms upwards until they’re stretched and I’m on my toes. Matthew bends down brushing kisses across my skin as he moves my legs, wrapping them in cuffs that spread them open. I feel precarious and open, and somehow, strangely, totally safe. His words about being only responsible to me keep echoing around my head.
He steps behind me, and I feel the stays of the corset loosen. “Everyone will get to see how fucking sexy you are,” he says, lips against my skin. “And when they’re gone, we get to play.”
There’s a carnal darkness in his words that makes me shudder, and I want it. I want him to make me come. The corset keeps loosening and I take the deepest breaths I have in hours. He gets to the bottom, and it slips free, my n
ipples hardening suddenly in the cool air. The tiny vibrator starts again, softly. Almost barely there, but I can feel it.
Matthew steps in front of me with a wicked grin. “This isn’t enough to get you off, but I think it’s enough to keep your mind on what’s in store for you later.” And then he’s gone, circling the room and speaking softly to every couple who start wrapping up whatever their doing and heading out the door.
Nine
I don’t know what Matthew said to them, but one by one the people in the room leave, and as the pass, they look at me. I’m distracted by the quiet and insistent buzz in my panties, but everyone says something. Whether it’s a compliment on my body or on my service or an encouragement in my submission, but the time that Chris and Jenny are leaving, I’m flushed with all the praise as well as the slowly, slowly building pleasure at my core.
Chris stands back and let’s Jenny approach me. “I know you’re new to this,” she says, “but I wanted to tell you that you’re doing really well. And if you have anything you want to talk with another sub about, ask Master Matthew to give you our number. I’d be happy to talk with you.”
“Thank you,” I say, still glazed and breathless.
They leave, and I feel the sudden absence of people, and I feel Matthew’s focus snap to me. We’re alone. Really alone. And now he can do whatever he likes to me. Anxiety and anticipation mix in my stomach, and I look to find him near the windows, watching me.
“I’m deciding what I want to do with you,” he says, answering my unspoken question.
I’m suddenly acutely aware of my own near-nakedness, and how he’s staring at my breasts. The vibration in my thong intensifies and I gasp. “Now that everyone is gone, I plan on making you come,” he says. “A lot. And also keep you from coming. A lot.” The vibration keeps building as he walks toward me, slow and steady. “Eyes on me, Emma.”
