by Lori Wick
be there for you if you return,
"I certainly can't predict what Tanner will say, but knowing
that Sunny will be there, a sister in Christ, comforts me
over your leaving,"
"In all the uproar, I'd forgotten about Sunny and Brandon,"
Stacy admitted. "It does make it easier to go, knowing
how close they live."
"So you think you'll be back at Winslow?"
Stacy nodded. "I don't know why, and I don't think it will
be easy, but, yes, I think I will end up back at Winslow. The
only thing that would stop me is if Tanner refuses to let Drew
come with me. If that happens I'll return here."
196
"Drew is the image of his father. How could he turn him
away?"
Stacy's smile was sad. "By not seeing him at all. You don't
know Tanner, Elena. He can be very hard. He thinks I've
deceived him, so I dare not hope that he will even want to see
Drew."
Elena could only stare at her. This had never occurred to
her. Stacy didn't notice her look. Her mind was running from
one person to the next. First she saw Drew, and then she saw
Tanner.
If it comes down to proving Drew's parentage, Stacy
thought, / won't need to say a word. Tanner need only see his
son'sface.
"I won't let her tell me no, do you hear me, Roddy? I tell
you I won't leave here without them."
Roddy did not answer from his place in the bed, but
continued to lean against the headboard and watch his wife's
agitated movements. Her voice wobbled with unshed tears.
"I had no idea they had so little. Did you see the furniture
in the salon? It's a mess. All this time they've been living like
paupers, and I've had so much." Lucinda broke down then just
as she'd been doing for days.
"Come on, Cmda," Roddy called to her and pulled the
covers back on her side of the bed Lucinda moved with leaden
steps and climbed in, sobbing all the while.
"Did you see Stacy's dress?" Lucinda wailed as Roddy
pulled the covers around her. "It's one from her wedding
trousseau. She hasn't had anything new in all this time. I just
can't stand it." The tears increased for a time before subsiding
into huge shuddering breaths. Roddy waited for just such a
time to speak.
"I think Stacy will come with us."
197
"You do?" Lucinda's voice held hope.
"Yes, especially if you let me handle it. Now, don't be hurt,"
Roddy added when he felt her stiffen in his arms. "Stacy and I
have always been able to talk, and I think she will be honest
with me. If you really want her and Drew to come home with
us, you'll let me handle it."
"I do, Roddy. I desperately want them to come." All anger
had drained from Lucinda in the light of wanting Stacy and
Drew with them. Lucinda was willing to try anything.
"I do also, but there are some things we need to talk
about." Roddy paused before going on firmly. "Lucinda, you
must let Stacy mourn as she wishes."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, no balls, no teas, and no shopping unless she
wishes to do so. This will be nothing whatsoever like her first
visit. She's been married and now has a child. The growing up
she's done in the last three and a half years is remarkable.
"Since we've arrived, I've watched how she handles Drew.
A more devoted mother I've yet to see. Carlson has talked to
the servants here at Morgan and tells me that motherhood is
what it took to make Stacy bold. She will brook no interference
with the way she raises her son, and from what I can
see she needs no outside help.
"Cinda, you must examine why you want them to come
with us. If it's to play mother to that boy, then it won't work;
he's already got a mother. If it's to mother Stacy or run her life,
then it still won't work. She doesn't need a mother or anyone
to tell her what to do. She needs a friend with a listening ear,
even if you don't agree with all her decisions."
Lucinda stared up into her husband's face. He knew her so
well. She did like to run other people's lives and took it for
granted that they wanted her to, but Roddy was right about
Stacy. She was a different person now. She'd even gone to
calling them by their Christian names without using aunt or
uncle. It was yet another sign of her maturity.
Lucinda suddenly realized that it had been Stacy who had
been the pillar of strength for everyone at the funeral and
198
199
then downstairs in the large salon. This young woman, who only parent-figure had just died, was the one to see that a]
were taken care of and comforted in this time of loss. She hat
become an independent and capable woman in her own right
Lucinda wasn't certain that she was even needed, but she still
wanted Stacy and Drew with them more than she could say,|
"What if Tanner wants her back?" Lucinda voiced the]
thought as soon as it surfaced.
"Then that will be her decision." Roddy returned log'
ically. "It doesn't seem likely. They've had no contact and he
hasn't even asked about her in all these years, but nevertheess,
Stacy will make her own choice and we will support her
no matter what."
Lucinda sighed. Again he was right.
"Will you speak with her in the morning?"
"Yes, as soon as I'm able."
Lucinda was quiet for a time. "Is my face all puffy?"
"It's just terrible. I can barely stand to look at you."
Lucinda tried not to smile, but it didn't work. "I love you,
Roddy"
"I know," he said with a wide, cheeky grin. "And you know
the feeling is quite mutual."
Hearing those words, Lucinda sighed again, this time with
pure contentment.
"Uncle Roddy and I would like to talk. Can you find Mercy
and see if she needs some help?"
"I want to stay here," Drew told his mother.
Stacy glanced over his head at Roddy, who was sitting
patiently across from her in the library. She didn't want to send
Drew away because he wouldn't understand and he'd been
rather clingy that morning. Stacy understood completely; still,
she did want to speak with Roddy.
"Why don't you see what Aunty Lucinda is doing?"
"Aunty Lucinda cried"
"Yes, she did. But she's not crying now. She would be very
y to see you."
"You can ask to see her jewelry. It's very pretty," Roddy put
i. Even though Drew was considering the idea, he was clearly
t convinced. To Stacy's relief, Mercy chose that moment to
Drew to test some cookies in the kitchen.
"Can I bring some in here?" Drew wanted to know before
left.
"In a while," Mercy told him while Stacy was still trying to
| frame a reply.
"All right," he said, but he didn't look very happy. Stacy
gave him a silly smile on his way out the door that wrung a
small laugh from him just before he disappeared from view.
"He's a fine boy, Stacy."
' "Yes
, he is," she agreed, her eyes still on the closed portal.
"He's more precious to me than I can say."
"You've done a good job with him."
"It's a lot of work, but he's a delight to be with."
They fell silent for just a moment, Stacy wanting to tell
Roddy that she and Drew would come to London but waiting
in case he and Lucinda had changed their minds about the
offer.
"I think you know what I want to ask you, since we've
already talked of it," Roddy began, "but before you give an
answer, I want to tell you a few things. I've reminded Lucinda
that this will not be like your first visit. We are not going to
take over your life or Drew's life. We want you to come and
stay as long as you like, but we aren't going to parent you; we
realize you don't need that."
Stacy smiled so widely that Roddy stopped.
"What are you thinking?" Roddy's eyes widened comically
in mock anticipation.
"I was going to tell you, yes, I would like to come, but then
I was going to ask you if Lucinda realized that it would be
200
different this time." Stacy's voice was so relieved that Roddy
laughed.
"She'll be thrilled with your answer, Stacy, as I am."
"I appreciate the offer, Roddy. It feels as though we've
been thrown a lifeline." Stacy paused then and went on slowly.
"But there is something you should know. I'm hoping above all
hope that if I return to London, Tanner will be willing to see
me. He certainly hasn't been an exemplary husband, but if there is hope for my marriage, I'm willing to try. I would also
like Drew to know his papa."
"Have you ever told Tanner about him?"
"No. I'm sure you understand why."
"Indeed, I do. It doesn't matter to us why you're coming;
we just want you there." Roddy stopped for a moment and
looked unsure. Stacy understood his expression when he
continued.
"I see Tanner now and then, and I'm sorry to say that he's
never asked about you. Please don't get your hopes too high,
my dear."
Stacy sighed deeply, but it was no more than she expected.
"Thank you, Roddy. If the truth be known, I'm feeling rather
pessimistic about the whole thing. If at any time I feel there is
any threat to Drew, I'll leave immediately, but I must try. For
the sake of Drew and my marriage, I must try."
"Lucinda won't be thrilled, but I know she'll stand by you."
Stacy thanked Roddy, but beyond that she didn't reply. She
knew that should they disagree on some issue, she was finally
ready to face her aunt without fear, but she wasn't so confident
about her husband. The thought of his anger was still enough
to make her physically ill.
Q/wenfoQlw
london
"IVE got no business running halfway across the country
at my age."
Stacy ignored Hettie's grumbling just as she'd done for the
last hour. They were all exhausted from the train ride and
even though Stacy had told Hettie to leave the unpacking for
the next day, she refused. Stacy was going to give the other
woman just a few minutes more, and then she would shoo her
out so Drew could sleep.
The train ride had seemed endless. Saying goodbye to
Elena and the staff at Morgan had been a draining experience.
Stacy half-believed that she would be with them again soon,
but leaving the security of their love and heading into a future
that was all a mystery had hurt.
At least Stacy had Hettie along. Hettie was not the easiest
person to live with, but she loved Stacy and Drew to distraction,
and she never said a critical word concerning Stacy's
faith in Christ. This had not been the case with Peters or
Mercy. Both of them had struggled with the change in her. It
had taken Stacy quite some time to finger the reason, but she
eventually deduced that her conversion was threatening to
them. Things eased after a time, but neither one was open to
the gospel.
202
Now she was in London. No real doors, not even on the
train, had opened up for Stacy to talk with Roddy or Lucinda, I
but Stacy hoped that even if they disagreed, they would take i
on Hettie's attitude and not Mercy's.'
Thinking of Mercy right then made Stacy want to weep, a
sure sign that she was too tired. Drew had eaten and was now
playing with his train, but she could see that he was drooping.
Fighting the urge to bathe him, she decided to put him to bed
immediately. With surprisingly little fuss she convinced Het-tie
to abandon her unpacking, and within minutes Drew was
tucked up for the night, with Hettie going to bed as well.
Stacy bathed herself, pleased to have Rayna assisting her
after three and a half years apart. In a reasonably short time,
Stacy was ready for her own bed She'd made one final check
on Drew and wasn't at all surprised to find Hettie on the sofa
in his room She had a room of her own, but old habits die
hard, and Hettie was used to guarding over Drew like a
mother bear with a cub.
It was with a smile that Stacy finally placed her head on
her own pillow, able to hear the old woman snoring all the
way from Drew's room. Just before sleep came, however,
Stacy's thoughts turned to Tanner. She tried to push them
away, but didn't succeed In her dreams she was almost certain
that she could feel his arms surrounding her.
"Andrew Tanner Richardson, what are you doing?" Stacy
asked her son two mornings later.
"Sliding. Aunty Lucinda said I could"
Stacy turned unbelieving eyes to her aunt, who was standing
nearby. "Did you really give him permission to slide down
the banister?"
"Yes," Lucinda answered meekly and then hurried on
excitedly, "It really is all right. There aren't many things for
Drew to play with here, and I really don't mind."
203
"Lucinda." Stacy's voice had turned patient. "The buttons
on some of his trousers will scratch the handrail."
Lucinda shrugged helplessly, looking much like a child
caught in the act. "I want him to have fun, Stacy, and that's
difficult in a houseful of adults."
"He has never known anything but a houseful of adults,"
Stacy reminded her aunt, and stared at her until she nodded.
She then turned to Drew.
"You may slide down the banister. But," Stacy added when
his face lit and he started toward the stairs, "an adult must be
with you, and you must be wearing the right pants."
"Are these?" Drew shoved his stomach out until it seemed
he would topple. Stacy hid a smile.
"Yes."
The word was no more out of Stacy's mouth when Drew
went charging for the top of the stairs. Both she and Lucinda
watched as he slid down the banister, giggling all the while.
He was allowed to slide four more times, and then it was time
for breakfast.
Roddy, Lucinda, Stacy, and Drew all ate together in the
small dining room. The day before, thei
r first real day at
Brentwood, had been very low-key with meals taken in their
rooms. This was the first meal where Drew had eaten with his
elders. Roddy and Lucinda were so fascinated by Drew's manners
and eating habits that they barely talked to Stacy.
It was at this time that Stacy realized they would never
have grandchildren; Drew was as close as they would ever
come. She suddenly saw her son through their eyes. He was
immeasurably precious to her, but in the eyes of a "grandmother,"
he was a treasure without equal. A treasure who
could slide down the banister and even scratch it, play in her
expensive jewels, or eat chocolates for breakfast. A treasure
who never really did anything wrong, at least not intentionally.
"Aunty Lucinda."
"Yes, my darling."
"I don't like red grapes."
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205
Stacy was proud of the way Lucinda opened her mouth,
closed it, and looked to her without answering.
"I want you to eat your grapes, Drew," his mother intervened.
"I like green grapes," he told her.
The table was silent as Stacy reached for Drew's plate and
swiftly cut some of his grapes in half.
"See. They're a little green inside. Now try one and if you
still don't like them, you only need to eat the grapes I've cut in
half."
Drew did as he was told and ended up eating them all.
Lucinda was finishing her coffee when the little boy wanted to
get down, so she gently washed his hands, making a great
game of it, and took him away to see the garden.
More coffee was poured for both Roddy and Stacy, and
they began to talk with the ease of old friends. Roddy shared
some London events, what the Queen and Prince Albert had
been doing and the latest battle in Parliament, but for some
reason Stacy's mind strayed to the last time she was in this
home.
Lucinda and Roddy were just married, and she had just
been sent away from Winslow. Suddenly Stacy pictured Nigel
Stanley's face and asked a question that had long been on her
mind.
"Has anyone heard from Nigel Stanley in all of this time, Roddy?"
"No, actually. There were various rumors after you left.
Some said he sailed for America, wanting only to escape with
his life. Some say that Tanner tracked him down and had it out
with the man, and that's why he's not been seen again."
Roddy's last statement so alarmed Stacy that she paled
"Stacy," Roddy admonished her softly. "The gossip mongers
