by Lori Wick
was. No one but Lucinda.
"Roddy, what has Lucinda done?"
Roddy took in her flushed features and doubted his wisdom
in coming.
"Where can we talk?"
Stacy took a breath. "The morning room."
She led the way. Once inside Roddy saw her comfortable
on the settee. Her color still worried him, but he knew he had
to take this all the way.
"Did Lucinda really hide us?"
"I'm afraid she did."
"And she didn't tell you?"
"No. It's taken me this long to learn of your whereabouts."
"Has Tanner been to Brentwood, asking for me?"
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fill.
"A week after you left Winslow." Roddy's tone was regret-Stacy
eyes slid shut in agony. The fingers of one hand came
to her mouth, and Roddy watched in amazement as tears slid
out from beneath her closed lids. She was trembling all over,
and the earl was becoming frightened
"Please, Stacy, please don't get so upset. I know what a
shock it must be, but I'm thinking of the baby as well as you."
"How could she, Roddy?" Stacy whispered. "All this time I
thought he didn't care. I was going to the Blackwells in the
morning to tell them I would be returning to London and then
Middlesbrough. How could she, Roddy?"
"I don't know." Roddy's voice was sad. "Tanner has always
reminded her of Aubrey, and she's still very bitter over his
memory."
"I can't begin to tell you how I've longed for my husband,"
Stacy went on. "I left because of his indifference. The servants
were very hard to take, but I could have stood almost anything
if only he would have shown me he cared. Did he just come to
see if I was there, or to take me back to Winslow?"
"I wasn't there, but he told Lucinda he would find you."
"Maybe he didn't actually look."
"Yes, he's looking. He even hired a private investigator to
locate you."
"Oh, Roddy! How do I get word to him? How do I tell him
where I am?"
"I'll get word to him, Stacy, but I wish--" Roddy paused
"What is it, Roddy?"
"I wish you would pray for me."
Stacy was dumbfounded
"Not about Tanner; he'll be very pleased to hear from me,"
Roddy explained. "But I've got to go home and face Lucinda
with this. Things have been pretty strained between us, but
she's never shown remorse. When she finds out that I've
learned of your whereabouts, she'll be livid"
"Of course I'll pray for you, Roddy," Stacy told him, but
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then she paused "There is something more, isn't there, Roddy?
You have something on your mind."
Roddy opened his mouth once and then closed it. Stacy
waited
"I want what you have," Roddy admitted softly, his eyes
searching hers. "I'm trying to pray and be like you, but something
is missing."
Stacy smiled so tenderly that Roddy's heart began to
pound He knew she would have the answers; he knew she
would not turn him away.
"Tell me, Stacy. Tell me about Jesus Christ."
So Stacy began. She assumed Roddy knew nothing and
started at Christ's birth. She explained that His birth had been
prophesied for years, and that it had been the fulfillment of a
promise.
She told Roddy about God's promise to Simeon that he
would see the Savior before he died, and how Joseph and
Mary took Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem where Simeon saw
him. Stacy explained about the second trip when Jesus was 12,
and how his parents had found him in the temple amazing the
elders with his knowledge.
"He began his public ministry when He was 30, and He
called 12 men to work alongside of Him. One of those men,
Judas, would betray Him, but even this was used of God so that
Christ could be our Savior.
"After three years of public ministry Christ was arrested,
beaten horribly and then died on the cross, but He didn't stay
dead, Roddy." Stacy was growing very animated, and Roddy
hung on her every word. "They buried him in a tomb and
covered the entrance with a huge stone, but an angel came
and the stone was rolled away. The grave was empty, and
burial clothes lay discarded.
"Every church I've ever been in sports a crucifix; not an
empty cross, but one with Christ hanging there. But Christ
isn't dead. The Scriptures say he rose again the third day and
now sits at the right hand of God the Father. He has bridged
the gap between a holy God and sinful man."
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"I can't begin to tell you how you've helped me," Roddy
replied. "I thought you would say it's too late, that I've lived
too much of my life without God"
Stacy shook her head and smiled "My grandfather was
nearly on his deathbed when he confessed Christ, and I know
he's in heaven because God is faithful to His promises. You
can have that same assurance, Roddy."
Roddy took Stacy's hand and held it gently. He was so
anxious he was trembling, and Stacy was reminded of the way
she felt when Elena and Noel sat with her and led her to Christ.
It was much the same now.
Stacy sat quietly as Roddy prayed. His voice faltered on
several occasions, but she just held his hand and prayed for
him as he spoke in his heart to God.
Roddy raised his head, and Stacy saw peace in his eyes.
"It's taken care of now."
Stacy threw her arms around Roddy and tried to squeeze
the life out of him. He hugged her in return and then spoke,
his voice fervent.
"I meant what I said to God, Stacy. I truly want to live for
Him."
"Oh Roddy, I can see that you do."
"I'm just worried about sin. I told God I want to put Him
first, but what if I do sin?"
"I'm afraid it's not if, Roddy, but when. But there is hope.
First John 1:9 says, 'If we confess our sins he is faithful and just
to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness/
"Sin never pleases God, but it's going to happen. What we
do with that sin makes all the difference in our relationship
with God"
"So there is a chance I won't go to heaven when I die?"
Stacy shook her head vehemently. "No, Roddy. Nothing
could be further from the truth. Read Romans 8. That whole
passage is to believers in Christ. It says that nothing can
separate us from the love of God. That's not a promise to the
whole world, Roddy--just to believers like you and me.
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"When I said it's what we do with that sin that makes all
the difference, I was talking about confessing that sin and
turning away from it, thus restoring a right relationship with
God through his Son."
Roddy took a deep breath. He was not discouraged, just
overwhelmed with joy. They talked until Hettie sought Stacy
out, telling her that Drew was looking for her. Drew was
thrilled to see Uncle Roddy, but on this particular day, Stacy
did not allow him to stay. She and Roddy talked through
/> dinner until they were both spent. They also talked again in
the morning before Roddy left.
"Does Lucinda even known you were looking for me?"
Roddy shook his head regretfully. They were standing
outside Roddy's carriage, and he was headed to see Tanner at
Winslow.
"I was afraid she would do something to try to move you.
Are you sure you won't come with me?"
Stacy shook her head, "No, I'll stay here in case he doesn't
want me back."
"I know he does."
Stacy tried to believe that.
"You will come for me if he doesn't want me, won't you,
Roddy?"
"You don't even need to ask."
With that Roddy kissed her cheek and climbed into the
carriage. Stacy promised to pray for him and he for her, and
then she waved until he was out of sight.
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the evening of the third day was upon Stacy, and still she
had had no word from Tanner or Roddy. It occurred to her that
she didn't really know where the Blackwells lived. It had
taken a day's carriage ride to come from London; maybe it
took longer than that to come from Winslow. She had no sense
of direction as they'd come from London and not fearing anything
underhanded, she had not bothered to pay attention.
"I'm too tired to think about this right now."
Stacy spoke this to no one, having dismissed her maid and
sent Hettie to bed. The older woman had not felt at all well
lately, and Stacy knew that the job of trailing an active three-year-old
was starting to tell.
After sitting on the side of the bed, she bent over her swollen
stomach to strip off her stockings and then let her hair down.
It felt good to shake it free. Wearing nothing but her nightgown,
she stood to scratch first her head, where the pins had
sat, and then her tummy, which seemed to itch constantly.
She drew the covers back, too tired to even read. She sat
down on the edge of her bed and was in the process of turning
the lamp low when the door opened.
"Hettie?" Stacy called as she squinted toward the dim
doorway.
"No, it's not Hettie."
The air rushed out of Stacy at the sound of her husband's
soft voice; she was thankful to be sitting down. Stacy's eyes,
now growing accustomed to the darkness, watched as he
entered, shut the door, and approached. Tanner stopped just a
few feet in front of her and simply stared down.
Stacy swallowed. "Did Roddy talk to you?"
"Yes. I would have been here yesterday, but he had trouble
tracking me down."
Stacy didn't know quite what to say to that. Tanner looked
wonderful to her, but the expression on his face was unlike
anything she'd ever seen before. She couldn't gauge what he
might be thinking.
"How is Drew?" he asked, his voice still rather hushed.
"He's doing well."
"Good Here," Tanner continued as he bent low and
adjusted her pillow. "Lie down. You need your rest; we're
leaving for Winslow in the morning."
Stacy did as she was told, never taking her eyes from his
face. His look was serious now, and after he'd adjusted the
covers around her he placed his hand against her cheek and
just left it there for a moment. Stacy's lids were growing heavy,
and as much as she wanted to stay awake and talk with him,
sleep was crowding in. She felt his hand stroke her hair, but
she was deeply asleep when he pulled a chair close, turned
the lamp a little higher, and just stared at her.
"We're not going to be separated again, Stacy," Tanner
whispered. "I promise this was the last time."
It didn't matter to him that she didn't hear. He felt better
having just voiced his thoughts. He let his eyes move over her
and felt something squeeze around his heart at the extent of
her pregnancy. Had she missed him? Was she able to travel to
Winslow?
Tanner could have questioned these things for hours, but
he made himself stop. He was here now, and if appearance
could be trusted, Stacy was doing very well. Outside of that,
little else mattered.
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Stacy did not awaken early as was so often the case. This
morning, light was streaming through the windows when her
eyes opened. She woke up facing away from her side of the
bed, and one of the first things she noticed was the indentation
in the other pillow. Tanner! Stacy sat nearly upright.
Tanner had come last night; she hadn't just dreamed it. He'd
really been here, and in bed with her. Stacy wouldn't have
believed that she could sleep that deeply, but now that she
thought back, a vague impression of a warm presence came to
her.
Stacy lay back, tempted to stay in bed for the next hour and
just think about her husband. However, Tanner and Drew had
other ideas. They burst through the door with barely a knock.
"Mumma! Look who's here."
Stacy's mouth dropped open as she saw her son so elevated.
She never imagined where Drew's head would be if he
sat on his father's shoulders, but he was high. Tanner swung
him easily to the floor, and Stacy hugged him close when he
scrambled onto her bed.
"How did you sleep?" Tanner had come near to the edge of
the bed and stood staring down at Stacy.
"Well. Thank you."
"Are you up to traveling today?"
"I think so. Is it far?"
Tanner nodded. "With your condition we'll have to make a
stop tonight and won't arrive at Winslow until late afternoon
tomorrow."
Stacy noticed that his face and voice gave nothing away.
She wished she could tell if he found this an inconvenience or
possibly a duty. Stacy felt so perplexed with her thoughts that
she transferred her attention to Drew.
"Where did you leave Hettie this morning?"
"She's in bed," Drew told her. Stacy felt alarmed. It was
much too late for Hettie to still be abed. Stacy shifted Drew to
the side and eased from the bed.
"I need to check on Hettie," Stacy spoke as Tanner stepped
back and allowed her to reach for her robe. She glanced up to
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find his eyes on her stomach and self-consciously pulled at
the fabric over her swollen waist. Tanner's eyes came to hers,
and Stacy wished once again that she knew his thoughts. Stacy
tried not to believe that he found her repulsive, but the
thought did enter her mind.
Tanner would have continued to watch Stacy, but Drew
captured his attention. Stacy was in her robe and out the door
before he knew it.
"Where is Hettie's room?" Tanner asked his boy as he
swung him back onto his shoulders.
It had taken quite a bit of tactful negotiating, but Tanner
had finally convinced Stacy that she should leave and Hettie
should stay put. He had followed his wife to the older woman's
room and found her very ill indeed. Naturally, Stacy had
wanted to stay and nurse her, but Tanner had put his foot
down.
> The next suggestion had been that they all simply stay
until Hettie could go with them. Tanner was gentle, but adamantly
against this also. With much talk between Stacy and
Lady Blackwell, it was finally decided that Tanner would take
his family home and send a carriage back for Hettie in two
weeks' time.
When Stacy and Drew were finally ready to go, Tanner
made one last trip to the sickroom. He could tell that Stacy was
still apprehensive, and he wanted to be able to reassure her
that he'd checked on Hettie again. To his surprise, Hettie had
gained enough strength to take him on.
"You will have excellent care. In two weeks," Tanner was
speaking from where he stood by the bed, "a Richardson
carriage will be here for you." Tanner did not go on to say that
he'd greased a few palms to see that she would be treated like
a queen while at the Blackwells'.
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"Who will see to Stacy and Drew?"
It irked Tanner that the old woman used their Christian
names, but he held his tongue.
"They'll be well taken care of."
"Like they were before--with not enough food and living
like prisoners? They couldn't even walk in the garden without
the gardeners coming out to glare."
This was the first Tanner had heard of the gardeners being
rude as well, but he continued to assure Hettie.
"All of that is changed now. My wife and son will have the
best of care."
"What if the baby comes?"
"The baby's not due for weeks."
"Drew was early. Stacy nearly died; did you know that?"
Tanner's heart slammed in his chest, and he could only
stare at the sick old woman.
"I've never liked you," Hettie went on, her voice growing
weak. "And I know that you think I'm out of line to be saying
this, but there's no one to care for Stacy without me."
The words completely taxed her. She lay, chest heaving,
her eyes angry, but also pleading with the duke. Tanner wanted
to go to Stacy on the spot, but something in Hettie's face
compelled him to console her one last time.
"It is as I've said." This time Tanner's voice did not allow
her to argue. "All that is changed now."
Tanner's intense gaze held Hettie's for just an instant, and
then he was gone.
Stacy squirmed in the seat and told herself to go to sleep,
pray, or do anything that would take her mind off of how badly
she needed to relieve herself. They had been traveling for over
two hours without a stop, and Stacy thought she might burst.
