Next to Forever (Never Letting Go)

by Moose, S

  Before I met Erin, I thought love was just a game and never wanted it. I dated here and there but no one ever caught my attention until she walked into my life. Erin saved me. She opened my eyes to something else other than basketball and work. She made me have fun.

  One night, she took me out to the beach. I didn't want to go. I hate swimming in the fucking ocean. At night. No, not something that I wanted to do, but watching her excitement and carefree spirit made me want to follow suit. She jumped in my arms and I twirled her around. She told me to close my eyes and told me to start walking. I wasn’t sure what she was thinking, but she felt me shaking and told me that there was nothing to be scared of because she was here with me. I took a deep breath and started walking. I felt the cool ocean water touching my feet and hesitated, but Erin whispered in my ears and told me she wouldn’t let me go. Yeah, I felt like a fucking pussy that my girl was calming me down. I got my dick back and ran into the water. Hearing her laughing and seeing that beautiful smile on her face made my heart beat faster. I picked her up as she wrapped her legs around my waist. She told me she wanted our first time to be here. On the beach under the stars. I walked back to the sandy beach and laid her down. She was beautiful, staring up into my eyes. I brushed her hair to the side and she wrapped her hand around my neck and brought my head down to hers. That night meant everything to me.

  “What are you thinking about, babe?” Erin whispers into my chest, touching my arm.

  “The night on the beach. Our first time.”

  Her breath hitches. She moves her head and looks up at me. “That night was fun, huh? Do you think that was the night, babe?”

  I kiss her on the top of her head. “I hope so.”

  I don’t want to seem like the jealous guy, but I’m not a fan of having Vander here with my girl when I’m not home. “Baby, why does it seem as though Vander’s constantly by your side?”

  “He’s lonely, Connor. He doesn’t have anyone except Sophia and me.”

  Erin strokes my forearm, reassuring me and telling me not to worry, but I can’t help it.

  The next morning, I’m in the kitchen making coffee and grabbing an apple and a bagel. Erin’s soundly sleeping, and I didn’t want to bother her. She looks peaceful and actually slept through the night without getting sick. I leave her a note on the kitchen island.

  Baby,

  I’ll miss you today. Text me when you get up to let me know you’re okay. I love you,

  Connor

  I walk out of the house but when I look up, I see that my car has red paint all over it and all four of my tires are slashed. “What the fuck?” I drop everything and run to my car. I run my hands through my hair and let out a loud grunt. I take out my phone and call Adam. It rings a few times before he answers.

  “What’s up?”

  “My fucking car! Get over here now!” I hang up before he answers. I let out another grunt and start punching the air. I probably look like an idiot but I don’t give a shit. I want to find the little shit who did this and kill them!

  I see Adam driving up the road and pulling up to the side of the house. He gets out of the car and takes off his sunglasses. His mouth drops as he looks at my car.

  I point and start yelling. “Do you see this shit?”

  “Who the fuck did you piss off?” Adam walks around and pulls out his phone. He pulls my arm and brings me inside. “Joseph, hey. Connor and I will be late coming in this morning.” Erin’s walking down the stairs rubbing her eyes.

  “Babe, what’s wrong?” She stops at the last step and looks at me. “Babe?”

  “My car. Someone fucked it up,” I mutter, looking at Adam who is still on the phone with Joseph.

  Erin looks out the window and her hands fly up to her mouth. She doesn’t say anything, but her expression is the same as mine. We’re both upset, and we aren’t sure who could do this to us.

  Adam and I get to the office after dealing with the police and insurance. I have everything covered and it’s not the car that I’m completely upset about, but now I’m scared to leave Erin home alone. She’s petite and weighs one hundred and five pounds soaking wet. There’s no way she can protect herself. Adam and I drop her off at Doctor Burns’ house with Sophia. The girls are safe there until we can figure this shit out. I don’t care that I’m overreacting, but if someone can do this to my car and not steal anything, what else are they capable of doing?

  I get to my office and turn on my computer. I take out my phone and call Erin. She answers on the second ring.

  “Babe, please, I’m okay. Sophia and I are watching ‘The Last Song,’” she sniffles in the phone. “It’s so sad, Connor. I mean she’s just so broken and angry.”

  I roll my eyes. Erin and her movies. “Okay, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I love you. Call me if you need anything.”

  “Okay. I love you, too.”

  I end the call and sit down in my chair. I read some emails and then my phone vibrates.

  Unknown: I need to see you please.

  I look at the text message before answering. I know who it is and I can’t talk to her. It’s been months since the last time we talked. I shake my head and feel my shoulders tense. This is the worst day. I lock my computer and walk out of the office. I text her back.

  Me: Okay. Be there in 10.

  I walk a few blocks to the café at the end of the street. I look around to make sure no one is following me or sees me. I lower my head and walk in. I walk to the back of the restaurant, to the corner booth. An older woman comes over to me.

  “Coffee hun?”

  “Please.” She walks away. I’m looking out the window and watching people walking, getting to their destination. A tightness grows in my chest. I hate feeling like this and sneaking behind Erin’s back. My jaw clenches and I feel her coming. I don’t have to look up. I know she’s walking toward me. She slides into the booth, opposite of me.

  She tries to touch my hand but I pull it away. “Connor,” she says in a broken tone.

  “Olivia, what do you want? I give you a check for three thousand every month. What more do you need?”

  “I miss you. Why can’t we be together?” I see tears rolling down her cheeks, and I have to look away.

  “Olivia, I’m sorry, alright? That night was a mistake. I’m with Erin now and we’re engaged. She’s pregnant with my child.”

  Olivia slams her hands on the table and grabs my hand. “Are you fucking serious, Connor? What about me and our baby?”

  I close my eyes and my mind goes back to another bad day in my life.

  I was sitting in the apartment, alone, listening to music, and working on a report. A knock came and I got up and answered the door. It was Olivia. She was standing there in sweat pants and a loose tee shirt. “Olivia?”

  She looked up at me and threw herself in my arms. “Connor, I-I’m so sorry.” I couldn’t hug her back. She clawed my back and held onto me as if she were falling. “I was pregnant.” The words came out and hit me like a pound of bricks.

  “What? How? Olivia, it was just one night.”

  She let me go and held my hands. “I know and I’m sorry. I know we were both drunk, but I was told I couldn’t have kids, so when I told you not to worry about the condom, I thought we were okay. I, um, just came back from the doctor. I lost the baby.” She cried again and came back into my arms.

  I was shocked and wasn’t sure what to say. I was actually relieved. I wasn’t ready to be a father, especially with someone I wasn’t in love with. I had a one-night stand with Olivia, a drunken one-night stand. It meant nothing but Olivia looked broken. “I’m sorry, Olivia, but what do you want me to do?”

  “Nothing.”

  She left and ran off. Olivia and I saw each other in the office, but we kept it civil. She looked happy and busy trying to steal Adam, but when I had to let her go, everything fell apart. She blamed me for her losing her job and threatened me, saying she’d make me pay for what happened, so I told her I’d pay her every
month. Three thousand a month. I never told anyone, not even Adam. It was our secret, just like the pregnancy and miscarriage.

  “Connor!”

  Olivia’s voice pulls me back to reality. “Olivia, I’m sorry, but it was just a onetime thing. I don’t know what else you want from me?”

  “I need more money, Connor,” her voice trails off. She straightens herself and looks at me. “I need five thousand a month or else I’m going to the press. Don’t you have a California deal you need to score?”

  This fucking bitch. I want to strangle her, but I keep my cool. I have to think about the company and do what’s best. I pull out my checkbook and write her a check for five thousand. I hand her the check and get up to leave but before I do, I lower my body and am at eye level with her. “You are to not text me. Do I make myself clear? I will text you once a month so we can meet and I will give you the check. If you do anything to jeopardize the company or my life, you will see a completely new side of me. Do I make myself clear, Olivia?”

  She licks her lips and brings herself close to me. “Crystal.”

  The rest of the day goes by quickly and after a ten-hour day, I head to the gym and let out my stress and frustration. The idea of Olivia being around here kills me. I want to tell Erin everything, but I don’t want to see the look of hurt in her eyes. She’s everything to me, and I can’t do that to her but she needs to know.

  I finish my last set, head to the locker room to get my things and head out. I pull out my phone and notice that Erin hasn’t texted me in a few hours.

  Me: Hey I’m heading home now, you ok?

  She doesn’t text back right away, so I head to my car and drive home. Weaving in and out of traffic, I get nervous wondering what’s going on with her, and why she isn’t answering. Still no response. There are knots in my stomach, and my breathing becomes uneven. Something’s wrong, and I need to get to her fast.

  When I pull into the driveway, I run into the house calling for Erin. She’s not in the kitchen or living room, so I run upstairs. When I open the bedroom door, I see that the bed is still made and I look, but there’s no sight of Erin. I notice that the bathroom light is on and when I go in, Erin’s on the floor. My mind runs wild and my heart beats uncontrollably.

  “Baby? Baby!” I pick her up in my arms and hear her whimpering. There’s vomit around the bathroom floor and she’s burning up. Carrying Erin out of the bedroom and downstairs, I run to the car with Erin in my arms and head to the hospital.

  I text Adam, letting him know what’s going on. Erin starts coughing and loudly moaning. “Baby, stay with me, okay?” I pull into the hospital parking lot and carry Erin inside. “Help! Please!” A nurse comes running toward me, and I tell her everything. She calls for help and someone with a stretcher comes rushing over. I place her on the stretcher and follow them back into the hospital. The nurse tells me to wait as they prep Erin and check her out. Tears are flowing from my eyes, and I don’t know what’s going on. “Please, God, don’t take her from me,” I silently pray.

  My chest tightens with dread and fear. If I lose Erin, my whole world will disappear. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. After losing my parents, death is a bitch, and I can’t handle my heart being ripped out again. Erin’s my whole world and she’s my light to the darkness that was over my head for so long. She breathes life into me. She’ll be okay. She has to be.

  My phone vibrates in my pocket.

  Adam: Hey, we’re in the waiting room. Let us know what’s going on.

  I read Adam’s text message, but my eyes are blurry and I can’t seem to function. Not knowing what I’m doing, I fall to the ground and feel my heart breaking. I don’t know what’s going on, and no one is coming over to me to tell me if Erin and our baby are okay.

  Arms are around me, pulling me up from the ground. I look up and see that it’s Adam hugging me and Sophia is by his side. I can’t even talk. All I can do is just break down again. We all sit down and wait for answers. Sophia’s holding my hand, resting her head on my shoulder. We all just sit at the table, waiting for someone to give us an answer. A few minutes later, we see a doctor coming our way.

  “Hi. Connor, right?”

  “Yes, I’m Connor. How is she?” I stand up facing the doctor, waiting for her to say something.

  “I’m Doctor Lopez, and I’ve been with Erin. She’s stable for now but was very dehydrated. The baby is okay, and we’re pushing fluids.”

  “Dehydrated?” What the fuck? Why isn’t she taking care of herself? “Can we see her?”

  Doctor Lopez looks at Sophia and Adam. “Alright, but don’t stay for too long. We’re keeping her overnight to make sure she and your baby are okay.”

  I thank her for everything and we head to Erin’s hospital room. My heart breaks seeing her hooked up to all of the machines. I run over to her and take her hand in mine. “Baby, I’m here.” Bringing her small hand to my lips, I close my eyes and keep praying that she’ll be okay.

  “I’m okay, babe. Just tired.” Erin turns over and smiles at Sophia and Adam. “Hey, guys,” she weakly says.

  Sophia comes over and hugs Erin, crying. “You can’t do this to me! I can’t lose you, Erin.” Both girls start sobbing and hugging. Adam rubs Sophia’s back and kisses Erin on her forehead.

  “Take it easy, hun. No more scares.” He laughs, lifting the tension from the room.

  After about an hour, Adam and Sophia say goodnight to us, and head home. The machines are beeping all around us. There’s an IV in her left arm, which connects to another machine to give her fluids. It kills me to see her like this. My strong and beautiful Erin looks so weak and tired. I play with her hair and tell her over and over how much I love her.

  “I’ll be okay, Connor. I just need to take it easy, and I will. Look,” she points to the baby monitor. “Everything’s okay. Stop worrying.”

  “There will never be a day that passes that I don’t worry about you.” I kiss her on her forehead. “You’re my life,” I tell her, squeezing her hand and not pulling away from my kiss. The rest of the night is peaceful and Doctor Lopez is happy to see Erin improving.

  I climb in bed with Erin and hold her through the night, promising her that I’ll always protect her and our baby forever.

  Chapter Seven

  Vander

  I have my girl’s right where I want them. They’re so easy to convince. All I have to do is keep my cool and keep showing them how genuine I am. All of my plans and hard work are coming together nicely. I’ve been watching them for years and sitting in the dark corners, just waiting for my time to come.

  Thinking about them, Erin and Sophia, touching them, and feeling their heartbeat. Something in me ignites. These girls are going to love me and need me. Fuck Connor and Adam. Those bastards are going to feel my pain. I’m going to take everything away from them.

  “Excuse me?” Her voice interrupts my thoughts. This better be fucking good.

  “Yes?” I answer with venom and hate. “What do you need?”

  “I-I’m sorry I-I didn’t mean to bother you but my phone died. I was wondering if I can use yours?” I look at her. She’s hot, and I haven’t been with anyone in a while.

  Paying off Curtis to pretend to be my boyfriend to keep Erin on her toes is working out better than I thought. Money talks and bullshit walks. Curtis is so dumb and doesn’t question anything. He knows better than to say anything. He just needs to play his part for a little longer, and then I’ll be done with him. As long as she keeps thinking I’m gay, everything will be all right. But, to this new girl, she has no idea who I am. This can work to my advantage. Maybe she’s into the kinky shit and will dress up to look like Erin or Sophia. I have to be careful and not use their names. Scratching my chin, I think about a plan and how I can use her for my own benefit.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to be rude. See…” My voice gets soft. “My girlfriend just broke up with me. I caught her cheating on me.” I make myself tear up. “I don’
t know what to do. She was my life.”

  The girl sits down on the bench next to me, putting her hand on mine. “Awww, I’m so sorry. I’m Olivia, by the way.”

  “Jason. It’s nice to meet you, Olivia.”

  “You, too. Do you want to talk? I’m a pretty good listener.” She smiles at me, and I squeeze her hand.

  “That’ll be great, Olivia.”

  We spend the next few hours sitting on the bench and talking. I get up, grab two hot dogs from the stand in the park, and come back to her with the food.

  “I figure since you’re listening to me I can at least feed you. Think of it as a mini date.”

  “Date?” Her eyes are wide, but I see something. She looks happy. Don’t try to play me, Olivia.

  “Yes. A date. You have a beautiful smile, Olivia.” I take a strand of her soft hair and tuck it behind her ear. “There, now I can see your face and admire you.” I take a bite of my hotdog, not taking my eyes off her. My new toy will definitely work to my advantage.

  “I’d love to see you again. Will that be okay?”

  Olivia slowly looks at me again. Don’t be shy, darling. Show me how feisty and sexy you can get. “I’d love that.” Reaching out her hand to me, she says, “Give me your phone, and I’ll store my number in your contact list.”

  Perfect.

  “Sounds good,” I hand her my phone. “Thanks for today, Olivia. I had fun with you, and I’m glad we met.” I touch her hand and she doesn’t pull away. She gives me a warm smile and looks away to type her number in my phone.

  “There.” She hands me back my phone. “Now you have my number. Make sure you use it.”

  I kiss her cheek, bringing my lips close to her ear. “Oh, I intend to do just that.”

  Chapter Eight

  Erin

  Sitting at home and reading a magazine about being pregnant is exactly how I want to spend my day. Doctor Lopez and Doctor Benson want me home, on bed rest and no stress. Sophia and Vander have been coming over to keep me company and sane, since I can’t really do much of anything. It’s been nice to stay home and get rest, but my mind is going crazy with work and Connor. The stress is all over his face and I know he’s worried. He texts me every thirty minutes, and if I don’t answer right away, he’s blowing up my phone with calls and trying to FaceTime me. Its little things like this that make me smile, even though he’s driving me crazy.