It morphed, taking on a dreamy expression, and Kevin felt awkward. She opened her mouth to answer when his phone vibrated again. He held up his finger to request a minute and stepped aside to answer the phone.
“Hello?”
“Kevin? Is that you?”
“Yes.”
“It’s me, Shannon. I’m in our favorite spot waiting on you. Are you coming?”
Kevin heard a pause in her words as another call tried to beep in. “Hold on just a minute. I have another call coming in.”
He clicked over. “Hello?”
“It’s me, Candace. Where are you?”
“Well, I’m… Wait just a minute, I have another call.” Beeping over yet again, “Hello?”
“It’s me, Randi. I need you to take Pierre to the restroom.”
Beep. “It’s me, Karen. I need you to rent a stroller for Gina. Her legs are tired.”
Beep. “It’s me, Leah. I can’t keep up with the boys. Can you keep them occupied while I buy Roxie some clothes?”
Beep. “I’m still waiting, Kevin. Where are you?”
Beep. This time Kevin spoke first. “Can’t you all just leave me alone! I’m not meeting you. Go get your own stuff. Take care of your own children. And stop calling me every three seconds!”
A monotone voice came over the line. “Kevin, I’m sorry to bother you. I just wanted to know if you wanted some lunch.”
It was Martha. She sounded strange. Kevin knew he’d angered her. But before he could apologize, she hung up. He ran a trembling hand through his already mussed hair. He’d messed up now.
Was this how Solomon in the Bible felt? Had his seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines been this demanding? Did the king have to drop everything to fulfill their desires just to keep from getting into trouble? How had such a wise man become so foolish?
Sighing deeply, Kevin walked back to Angela. Beyond a doubt, he would have to leave her again and soon. With his elbows placed on his knees and his hands clasped together, he tried to start the necessary conversation.
Angela’s powers of perception were keen, and before he could speak, she asked, “You have to go, don’t you?”
With regret Kevin answered, “Yes. I do.”
Angela stood, shook his hand politely, and said, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, somewhere.”
Sure, why not? Kevin thought as she walked away and out of the store.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
All the women had called Kevin separately, but he hadn’t met with any of them. Martha wanted to meet for lunch, but his frustration ran deep, and he didn’t care.
Kevin walked to the waiting van, feeling a burning in the pit of his wallet as the mall took his meager funds. Maybe he was wrong and a higher salary was part of the wish. Maybe with the wish for a family had come, not only a pay increase, but also a nice four-walled office he’d always wanted.
Otherwise, how could he afford to have a family this size? The only wife that worked was Dana. At least, she had in the past. Modeling, if he remembered correctly. Wonder if she still does jobs and brings home extra money? If not, Kevin could have more problems than he realized.
There was Candace. But she and Rick shared custody of their children. That would mean no child support on either side. So there was no money from that venue.
No sooner had the thought of money crossed his mind than fourteen members of his family filed out of the mall doors and headed toward his position. Their arms were laden with bags and packages of all shapes and sizes. Behind them came Shannon and Dana. The two of them together held more packages than the other fourteen combined.
Dana and Shannon were giggling and carrying on like teenage girls. They approached the car parked next to the family van. When they reached the van and Kevin, Dana held out a receipt a mile long.
“What’s this?”
“Oh, it’s one of my receipts.”
“Just one of them?”
“Of course. Oh, before I forget. Don’t use the credit card.”
“Why not?”
“Because she maxed it out,” sighed Shannon, her happy-go-lucky façade wavering.
Martha approached, “Well, I guess we won’t be going out to eat. Shannon, you and Dana run to the market and pick up stuff for dinner.”
“Like what?” asked Dana.
“Maybe spaghetti.”
“Okay. Will do.”
Dana and Shannon pulled out of their space and sped off in a little red Maserati as the rest of the crew filed into the van. Kevin sat in the back, sandwiched between car seats and whiny, tired children. He caught Martha using the rearview mirror to stare at him. Disappointment etched her face. Apparently the reply to his earlier question had been answered. His income hadn’t expanded to provide for his burgeoning family.
When they arrived home, all the kids grabbed packages and ran inside. Kevin exited the van and walked toward the entrance. Before he reached the front stoop, Dana and Shannon screeched in on two wheels.
Shannon opened the passenger side door and stepped out, fussing. “Are you crazy? We could’ve been killed!”
“Oh, Shannon. Live a little, will you.”
“I’m trying to! But just to let you know, I think I’d rather live with four wheels on the ground, thank you very much.”
“Oh, just admit it. You enjoyed the speed.”
Shannon gave Dana a pointed glare. “Let me say this clearly. I’m never riding with you again.”
Dana laughed and opened the trunk of the car. She didn’t seem to be offended by Shannon’s complaints. Instead she yelled, “Hey Kevin dear, come help me with these.”
With hands in his pockets, Kevin obeyed. Walking to the trunk, he picked up the grocery bags and several of her packages and started to leave, but she grabbed his bicep and commented, “Have you been working out? Kevin, you’re so strong. It just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.”
Dana tried to sneak closer but Candace pushed them apart. She elbowed them into separation as she reached into the trunk to help with the bags. “Don’t make me hurl. Kevin’s cut, but he’s hardly a muscle man.”
Kevin was offended. So his biceps didn’t bulge. He still had plenty of muscles to haul in groceries.
When they reached the kitchen area and dropped off the bags, Dana asked Randi, “Don’t you think Kevin is strong?”
“Well sure.”
“What about you, Leah? Don’t you find his bulging muscles attractive?”
Leah studied his arms. Staring around them and under them like she was looking for what Dana was talking about. After a moment, she burst out laughing. “I’m just kidding, Kevin. Of course I find you physically attractive or I wouldn’t have married you.”
The conversation continued as to his attributes; no flaws were ever mentioned. There seemed to be a consensus that Kevin had enough muscles to be attractive to them as well as being cute. The whole time the women were talking and swirling around him like bees on honey, Martha was inside cooking.
Kevin was escorted to the dining room table to wait for dinner. He peered through the open door to the kitchen and watched Martha. When she finished cooking, her face was flushed and sweat dripped from her chin. She drained the large pot of noodles and plopped it down on the dining room table right in front of him. Next, came the sauce. Martha ungracefully dropped the pot onto the table. The sauce splattered all over and consequently onto a few people.
“Hey! That was hot!” cried Candace.
“You ruined my favorite cashmere sweater!” shouted Karen.
“Sorry,” said Martha in an unsympathetic tone.
“You know what? I don’t believe you’re sorry at all. You want to know what I think? I think you’re mad at Dana so you’re taking it out on me,” said Karen.
Martha threw down her dishtowel in a manner resembling a call to a duel. “Excuse me. I’m going to go lie down now. I have a headache. Feel free to enjoy the dinner I made you.”
As Martha walked away Karen yell
ed, “Go, run, pout. Don’t let the door hit you in the backside when you leave.”
“Man. Karen, you surprise me,” Leah said, aghast.
“Sorry. But I’m over her attitude. If no one else will stand up to her, I will.”
“But Karen, she’s our glue.”
Candace rolled her eyes. “Shannon, what kind of hogwash is that? What does it even mean? ‘She’s our glue’?”
As the women stood in a huddle, Kevin watched the kids file in with wide eyes. They sat down at the table waiting on their food, the women all but ignoring them. Scooting back from the table, Kevin left and went to the kitchen. Finding plates, he brought them to the table. It took several trips carrying cups filled with milk to get everyone something for their thirst. Next, he scooped plateful after plateful of noodles, adding sauce when asked. When he was finally finished, Kevin set down to his own plate.
The women were still arguing. So Kevin said grace, gave the kids permission, and they all began to eat. Several of them scarfed down their food, while a few others like Kitty, were busy picking it up by the handfuls and dropping it onto the floor below.
“Kitty, don’t—” Kevin started to say but wasn’t able to finish because he was drowned out by another voice.
“Martha thinks she’s the queen bee. She thinks this house couldn’t survive without her. Well I’ll show her exactly what I can do. Who needs her help? Ladies, if you have children, grab them, and let’s get this nightly clean-up started.”
“Karen, what about Martha’s kids?” asked Leah.
Karen pondered for a moment and then asked, “Who wants to help show Martha we are just as capable as her?”
Dana’s eyebrow rose, “When you phrase it like that, how could I say no? I’ll do it.”
“Good. Grab Emma. The other two are old enough to fend for themselves.”
As the children were plucked from the table, several of them cried out in protest. “Hey, we’re not done eating!”
“Fine,” Karen said. “You all have five minutes to finish.”
Karen leaned against the wall with arms crossed and stared at the hands moving on her watch. The kids picked up their spoons and used them like shovels. They were eating so fast, splatters of red sauce flew through the air, decorating the walls.
In precisely five minutes, the kids were jerked from their seats and hauled upstairs. It was six p.m., and Kevin was all alone.
Chapter Thirty
On the side table sat the cookies Martha had baked. Kevin retrieved one and sat back down at the overly large table. There was no noise, so there should have been peace. But while he enjoyed the quiet, he realized there was no such thing as peace in this house.
Kevin watched the red spaghetti sauce as it dried on the walls. Noodles lay scattered across the table and floor. Calmly enjoying his milk and cookie, he listened to the racket from above. After consuming the dessert, Kevin left the table and edged silently upstairs. The carpeted stairs creaked beneath his feet, threatening to give him away. But curiosity was getting the better of him. The old adage, “If I could be a fly on the wall,” came to his mind. And Kevin decided he wanted to see what was happening.
Kevin made it to the top step and sat down. One door was closed. If he were a betting man, he would say it belonged to Martha. The rest of the doors were wide open and housed children in a variety of ways.
The four youngest children were in one room, corralled behind the baby gate. They clawed at the instrument of confinement like drunks in the tank. Wails and moans rang out along with the jarring of the cell door echoing down the hall. Roxie found a metal toy and ran it across the bars, singing a mournful song.
As Kevin watched, Jackson and Parker got down on their bellies and slithered under the gate to freedom. Their hands were covered in red paint, which they so nicely deposited onto the white sheet-rock walls as they walked down the hall.
Kevin could have stopped them, perhaps he should have stopped them, but Karen needed her chance to show her superiority. She needed a chance to sink or swim on her own. Far be it for him to interfere in her plans.
While Jackson and Parker were busy decorating the walls, Billy and Pierre were returning from the showers. Turned out that Kevin’s new, improved home had two full baths upstairs, side by side. Pierre came out of one bath while Billy exited the other. Pierre walked into the hallway wrapped in nothing but a towel. Obviously, Billy saw this as an opportunity.
Billy snuck up behind the scantily clad Pierre, grabbed the corner of his covering, and ripped it loose. Pierre shrieked, “Mom!” His hands flew to cover the newly exposed areas.
“What are you yelling about?” came Randi’s reply from one of the rooms.
“Mom! Help! Billy stole my towel and now I’m naked!”
“Pierre Wayne Smith! Get in your room and get your clothes on this instant.”
“But, Mom!”
“Pierre! Do as I say!” Under her breath Kevin heard Randi say, “This never happens when Martha is in charge.”
Karen emerged from a bathroom, wringing wet. Sleeves were pushed up to sopping elbows. The lady could have been swimming for all the water dripping from her frame. “What’s going on out here? I’m trying to bathe Gina, and all I hear is screaming.”
Karen was looking for the problem when she stopped in mid-sentence. Pierre was running down the hall toward his room, his little white bottom shaking up and down.
Cathy peered around her doorframe and sang, “I see your hiney, so nice and shiny. It makes me giggle to see it wiggle…”
Karen shouted, “Cathy!”
Cathy smiled and disappeared back into her room, closing the door behind her.
Karen focused on the dancing boy. “Pierre! What in the world are you doing? Where’s your mother?”
Pierre peered over his shoulder, eyes wide with fear as he scurried into his room and slammed the door shut, never answering Karen’s summons. Karen sighed and stalked over to Randi’s room.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m lying down. My back is hurting.”
“Randi! You have to get off your butt and help me.”
“But why? When Martha does it, I never have to help.”
“Well, I’m not Martha.”
“That’s obvious.”
Before Karen could make a comeback, Roxie started screaming. Karen said, “Now what?”
Karen whirled around and noticed there were no other grown-ups to help her. Running a wet hand through tangled hair, she headed toward the screaming Roxie. Bending down to the child’s level, she asked, “What’s wrong, honey?”
Roxie rubbed a snotty nose across her sleeve. “Kitty put a booger on me! See?”
Karen jumped back from the protruding appendage, falling into a table covered with pictures. The act was like a Sylvester the Cat impression from Looney Tunes, as legs and arms stuck out to catch falling objects.
Kevin laughed behind a hand. This didn’t appear to be going quite as well as Karen had planned. As Karen went on the rampage like an ancient war chief, Kevin slipped back down stairs.
Pajamas were laid out neatly in the downstairs bathroom. Kevin prepared for bed amidst the thundering above. Lying down on the couch, he attempted to get comfortable, but gave up. Finally elevating his feet off the sofa arm, plumping the pillow behind his head a few times and closing his eyes, he drifted off into a deep sleep.
Chapter Thirty-One
Saturday…
Normally after a week of work, the daily drudgery of getting up early, and leaving the house, Kevin preferred to sleep in and relax on this day. Today was Saturday. A day to take his time and catch up on sleep. A day to catch up on all the chores that had piled up from the week past. A day that needed no haste. A day of peace and tranquility.
“What in the world!” came a loud booming voice.
Kevin was jerked awake so violently he reared his head up and knocked into the lamp. It toppled to the floor with a loud crash. The metal base rolled aw
ay from his position. The shade now lay at an odd angle. Avoiding the lamp, Kevin jumped to his feet, held his throbbing head, and rushed toward the voice. He stopped short when Martha walked into the living room and stood directly in front of him.
Martha was trembling from head to toe. Her face was blood red with anger. A large vein beat wildly in her neck as she pointed a shaky finger toward the dining room. Then he remembered. The day before when the kids had eaten spaghetti, he’d left the mess. His nosiness had gotten in the way of cleaning. And the other women had been so busy with the kids upstairs, they’d never come back down to take care of the clean up.
“Martha, I…”
“Kevin Earl Smith! That room is a complete disaster! My Bailey and Griffin wallpaper that came all the way from Costa Mesa, California! The one I handpicked is ruined! Do you hear me? Ruined!”
One by one, the other women stumbled into the room. Candace was rubbing sleep from her eyes when she said, “Martha, what are you yelling about? It’s seven-thirty in the morning.”
“I’ll tell you what I’m yelling about! This house! It’s a disaster!”
Dana did a full circle before saying, “I don’t see a problem. Everything looks fine to me.”
Martha stalked to Dana and shoved a finger in her face. “If you paid attention as well as you maxed out the credit cards, then you might know a few more things.”
“Now, wait a minute…”
“And you!” Martha approached Candace. “If you would stop living in the past and stop worrying about keeping your kids' love by letting them do anything and everything they want, then you might be a decent asset around here.”
Candace furrowed her brow, her hands balled at her side. Kevin watched as Candace appeared ready to snap. She was clearly not happy with Martha’s words.
Next Martha headed over to Randi. It appeared no one would escape the head wife’s wrath. “You are the laziest, most selfish human being I’ve ever met. When are you ever going to lift a finger to take care of someone besides yourself?”
Love Octagon Page 13
