by Anara Bella
“I don’t know…”
“Why not?”
“Because.” The stubborn look on Asia’s face told her she’d better elaborate. “I think I’d be letting myself in for a world of trouble.”
“So you’re too afraid to take a chance and see what’ll happen.”
Thea’s dander slammed to attention. “I’m not afraid. Just cautious.”
“Afraid.”
“Am not.”
“Yep, you are.”
Thea flounced back against her seat. “This is ridiculous. I’m not afraid of spending time with Cain.”
“Then prove it.”
“Prove it how?”
Asia grinned. “Go out with him. Prove to yourself you’re over him.”
Thea was flabbergasted. “You think that’s a good idea? You must be out of your mind.”
“I don’t think I am.” At Thea’s continued incredulity, she said, “Hey, it worked for me.”
As if weighing the pros and cons of the idea, Lexi tipped her head back and forth. “I may have to side with Thea on this one. I don’t know if it’s such a good idea.”
With a hand-flourish in Lexi’s direction, Thea jumped all over that one. “You see? Lexi agrees with me.”
“Oh no. Don’t get me wrong. I think there’s merit to the idea of working him out of your system. What I’m not sure of is if you could handle it. I’ve never seen you so touchy about anything. Or anyone. You’ve always been little Miss Gung-ho, not letting anything or anyone stop you. Maybe this is too much for you to handle.”
Thea felt like throwing something lest her head explode. “Cain is not too much for me to handle. There’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“Well then, you know what to do.”
“Good lord, you guys almost sound like you want me to fuck him or something.”
Asia and Lexi both nodded and said, “Sure, why not?”
Thea’s eyes must have goggled out of her head. “You two have had way too much to drink. Either that or you’re insane.”
Lexi shrugged. “Why? Guys do it all the time. Just separate the emotional from the physical and have fun.”
Asia licked some salt off the rim of her margarita glass. “I’m not suggesting you should trust him again. I’m suggesting you see him, work him out of your system. The thing is, I think he’s become bigger than life in your memory. That’s why no one else measures up. I’d bet my last dollar that once you spend a bit of time with him, you’ll see he’s not all that after all and you’ll finally be able to move on and find someone new.”
Thea knew there was a grain of common sense in what Asia was saying. A teeny tiny miniscule grain, mind you, but still, it was there.
The problem was, the exploding sparks thing between them was pretty big. A huge deterrent to spending time with Cain. She’d always found him irresistible. Had never been able to say no to anything he desired, especially when it came to sex. Not from the first moment she’d met him at that Halloween costume party. They’d barely said hello, and before she could say ‘where are my panties’ she’d spread her legs and welcomed him into her body like they’d known each other forever. Right there in that dark closet.
The whole thing had been completely out of character for her, but he brought out her wild, wanton side big time. He’d always been the spark to her accelerant, the controller of her heart and soul.
Her one big frickin’ weakness.
But that was a long time ago. And there was one huge difference between then and now. She was all grown up. After what Cain had done to her, she’d learned to keep her heart out of the equation when it came to men. There was no reason she couldn’t keep Cain out too.
One thing resonated with her though. The fact she didn’t want to deal with Cain was the most motivating thing ever as far as she was concerned. Being afraid of anything stuck in her craw like shards of glass in chewing gum. It was intolerable and had to be dealt with.
She hated being a chicken. Had fought against it her whole life and she wasn’t about to start taking the coward’s way out now. In her experience, the only way to deal with any kind of fear was to attack it full on and show it who was really in control.
Besides, the simple truth was, Cain was unfinished business. She needed to purge him from her system so she could move on. No matter how much the very idea scared her.
No, scrap that. She had to do it because it scared the shit out of her.
And wasn’t that a pretty pickle to find herself in.
Chapter Four
Thea sure didn’t make it easy.
But that was okay. She had no reason to. Nor did Cain expect, or deserve, it. Not after the way she’d all but thrown him out of the bar after their first meeting.
He grinned to himself. She’d never been shy about letting him know how she felt. It was just one of the many things he loved about her.
In the succeeding days after that first meet, he’d racked his brains for ways to show her he loved her. He didn’t want to bug her, but if he ever had any hope of getting back together with her, he needed her to get used to seeing him again, to having him around. So he began stopping by the bar every morning, not staying long, just long enough to say hi and ask how she was. Of course, she’d mostly glared at him, barely giving him monosyllabic answers.
But he hadn’t come empty-handed. He’d brought her a cup of coffee made just the way she loved it. And to make it extra special, he’d also brought her one perfect stem of her favorite flower, a peach-colored sweetheart rose.
At first, she didn’t drink the coffee and he suspected the rose ended up in the trash, but after a couple of days, he’d spotted the rose in a glass behind the bar, and by the fourth day he’d spotted her sipping the coffee while he was still there. All good signs.
And it gave him hope.
That was when he’d also started dropping by later in the day. He’d ask how her day was going, and he brought her a special treat, one she’d be hard-pressed to refuse. He knew she had a sweet tooth and a strong weakness for chocolate-covered cherries from Forsythia Falls’ local chocolate factory. So every time he came, he brought her one beautifully wrapped piece, along with another sweetheart rose.
And each time he came by, her smile grew a little wider, her eyes shone a little warmer, and she talked to him just a little bit more, giving him hope she was thawing toward him, a tiny bit more each and every day.
*
Okay, the room can stop spinning anytime now.
Sitting askew on the couch, Thea tried to focus on something, anything, but this wooziness was a real problem. It was also beyond annoying. She hadn’t had that much to drink. Perhaps a skosh more than usual, but not enough to get more than pleasantly buzzed.
Then again, the spinning room said otherwise.
Perhaps if she closed her eyes…
Her lids snapped back open. Nope, that made it worse.
There was a distinct possibility she shouldn’t have finished what was in the pitcher. But there’d only been a teensy bit left. Seemed a shame to throw it out.
Damn. She was such a lightweight.
She sighed, wishing her friends were still there. She could’ve used their distraction. But the movie was long finished, and Marcus had already taken Asia and Lexi home, so here she sat, curled up on her couch.
All alone with her fuzzy thoughts.
She needed to stop thinking about Cain, and how sweet he’d been in the three weeks since he’d been back. How he hadn’t pushed anything between them besides just seeing her and chatting with her every day, bringing her coffee, and flowers, and special treats. It only served to remind her of how sweet he’d always been, even ten years ago.
Besides, it was starting to drive her crazy that he wasn’t pushing things any further. Had he changed his mind? Did he not find her as attractive as he once had? Had he forgotten about their little kiss?
She sure hadn’t. She couldn’t seem to stop replaying it in her head. Nor could she forget he’d
said he still wanted her. And if that kiss had proved anything, it was that she definitely wanted him.
She could still feel the way his hair curled on the ends, entwining like soft tendrils around her fingers as if not wanting to let her go. Could still see the delectable indentation at the base of his throat, his strong kissable collarbone, his sexy forearms. She could still smell his warm, clean male scent.
Oh yeah, she remembered that hot kiss all right.
But then, his kisses had always turned her insides to mush, and emptied her mind of everything except how good he made her feel. It had been that way from the very first moment she’d met him. Even then, it was the hot steamy kisses in that dark closet that had led to so much more. She got wet just thinking about it.
Yep, the more she thought about it, the more she was convinced her friends had the right idea about Cain. She’d love to climb all over his hard, ripped body. Sex had always been good between them. Scratch that. It was better than good.
It was off the charts.
Amazing.
Hot.
Scorching.
There was no reason they couldn’t pick up where that kiss had left off.
And, she knew just where to find him. Within convenient walking distance at the bed and breakfast just up the road. She even had the number in her cordless phone’s directory. Why not go for it?
Her woolly brain tried to come up with a reason but for the life of her, she couldn’t think of one.
And best of all, she was feeling very free. And daring.
And exceedingly horny.
Without further thought, she reached out to snatch up her phone, missing it by a mile. Her second attempt knocked it to the floor.
Damn it. She wasn’t usually this clumsy. Of course, the room wasn’t usually doing this crazy tilt-a-wheel thing either.
Taking the path of least resistance, she slid from the couch to the floor butt first, landing on the phone with a thud.
Well, at least she didn’t have to hunt around for the damn thing. She jiggled and squirmed, maneuvering the elusive instrument out from under her butt.
Man, this was exhausting.
Breathing hard from her struggles, she pondered the need to start doing more intensive aerobics. Deciding she was comfortable right where she was, she called up her phone’s directory, which entailed pushing the wrong button twice and almost deleting the number once.
Taking a deep steadying breath, she forced herself to focus.
Success.
Feeling ridiculously proud of herself, she listened while it auto-dialed. Thank God a friend of hers had stayed there once or she never would have gotten this far.
At long last, after a confusing interlude with the stupid person manning the switchboard, the phone in Cain’s room started to ring.
And ring, and ring. Was he out? He’d better not be out. It was vital she tell him what was on her mind. Before she lost her nerve.
“Hello.”
Cain’s groggy voice set her heart racing with a combination of relief and excitement. “Cain! I was worried you were out.”
A beat of silence greeted her. “Thea?”
“Bet you weren’t expecting to hear from me.”
Another pause. “No, I wasn’t. Are you okay?”
“I’m great. Never better.” She stifled a hiccup and giggled.
“You sound kind of strange.”
“I’m fine. I need to tell you something and it can’t wait.” The phone slipped out of her hand. She groped around for it, putting it back to her ear in time to hear rustling on the other end of the line. “Are you in bed?”
He chuckled. “Don’t sound so surprised. It’s after two a.m.”
“Really?” When had it gotten so late? “Well, you’re up now.”
At which point happy images bombarded her of Cain naked, in bed. Naked, and up. Up being the operative word.
She all but drooled. It was more than enough to send her down pleasant bunny trails of lust-filled thoughts. Thoughts of his hard, naked length on top of her, working his muscular thigh between her legs, his hard cock probing her hot center.
She shivered. “Want some company?”
Stunned silence greeted her question and another giggle escaped her lips. Looks like she’d surprised him with that one.
“Thea, are you drunk?”
She grinned, feeling all sexy and saucy. And a wee bit naughty. “Maybe. But just a little bit. Nothing to worry about.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Aw, come on, so I’m a little tipsy. Doesn’t change anything.”
Cain sighed. “It changes everything.”
Panic filtered through her pleasant buzz. It was crucial she let him know how she felt, that she talk him into letting her come over. “No, it doesn’t. I have to tell you. I still want you, Cain. I’ve never stopped wanting you. Never stopped thinking about you.”
She thought she heard him groan, and pounced. “I can be over there in two minutes.” That is, if the world would stop wobbling a little bit.
“Thea, you’re killing me here.”
“No need to torture yourself. I’ve missed your hot body, the way you taste. Missed feeling you deep inside me.”
That time she was certain she heard a groan. “There’s nothing I want more than to have you here with me right now, but you’re drunk. You’re going to regret this call come morning.”
She scowled, thoroughly annoyed he wasn’t cooperating. “No, I won’t. And don’t tell me what I think.”
Cain’s sigh of exasperation was unmistakable. “I’m not. Look, this isn’t getting us anywhere. You need to sleep it off. But you’d better believe, if you haven’t changed your mind by tomorrow, I’ll be all over you before you know what happened.”
Oh God, yes please. “But I don’t want to wait.” Okay, that sounded a wee bit whiny.
“God, Thea, neither do I. But I messed things up between us once, I’m not going to do it again. Now go drink a tall glass of water, take a couple of aspirin, and go to bed. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
Frustration chewed at her. When had he turned into a buzzkill? “Damn it all. Why do you have to be all noble now?”
His deep throated groan made her insides melt. “Believe me, I’m asking myself the same question. Good night, Thea.”
Before she could respond, he hung up, the dial-tone letting her know she’d lost her chance, bringing her down from her happy little high with a resounding thud. She couldn’t believe it. The jackass hung up on her.
She absorbed that for a moment and then awkwardly shrugged.
Well, at least he’d stopped her from whining again.
But damn it, when had Cain started taking the fun out of things? He’d always been spontaneous and crazy? What the hell had happened to him? And why the hell did it have to happen now?
If she’d been standing she would have stomped her foot in frustration.
Still grumbling, she bumbled her way up off the floor and staggered to the kitchen for a drink of water, plotting all manner of mischief and mayhem on Cain Marshall’s sorry ass the entire way.
The next time she saw him, he’d be sorry, that’s for sure. She’d make sure of it.
Chapter Five
Slumped over her desk with her head resting on her forearms, Thea closed her eyes, thankful the headache from hell had lifted. If her eyes hadn’t felt as if she’d just come out of a raging sandstorm, she might have felt more life-like.
But, she wasn’t complaining. Not really. As far as hangovers went, this one hadn’t been too bad.
What was bothering her was the gnawing feeling in the pit of her gut that the nebulous flashes of memory she kept having weren’t from some dream she’d had last night.
It didn’t matter how much she told herself there was no way she’d say any of those things to Cain no matter how much she’d had to drink, the uneasy feeling of impending doom kept washing over her in ever-increasing waves. And repeatedly chanting it couldn’t have happen
ed wasn’t helping.
But really, it couldn’t have happened. Could it?
Panic washed over her yet again in a rapid, heated flush.
Oh God.
Those memories had to be from a dream because if they weren’t she’d have to kill herself.
For real.
She whipped her head up off her desk and proceeded to shuffle some papers around, looking for some kind of distraction. But no matter what she did, she couldn’t shake the horrible feeling she’d done the unthinkable.
A sharp rap on her office door interrupted her nicely escalating freak-out session. Words weren’t anywhere near enough to express how grateful she was for the distraction from her self-made hell. “Come in.”
The door swung wide, and typical of the day she was having, it revealed the very last person she wanted to see. Almost as if she’d summoned him with the power of her thoughts.
“Cain.”
His warm smile was tinged with a hint of wariness, unusual for him. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything too important.”
Nope, nothing important. Just me having a freaking panic attack. “What do you want, Cain?”
His grin widened, as if he had a delicious secret, and the sick feeling in her gut increased ten-fold. Her jaw clenched in anticipation of the worst. She hated this. She just knew he was going to say something she didn’t want to hear.
“How are you feeling today?”
Her freak-out meter went clear off the charts. “I’m fine.” No way was she going to ask him why he was asking.
No way.
He nodded. “Good. I’m glad to hear it. I thought you might have a killer headache today.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. “Why would you think that?”
He wouldn’t say it. He would not. She surreptitiously crossed her fingers, her legs, everything that would cross, and for good measure, sent up a prayer to anyone who might be listening.
“Well, you sounded pretty drunk when you called me last night.”
Shit. Fuck. Damn.
Her stomach plummeted and then threatened to empty its contents in what would have been the final humiliating straw.
