by Claire Adams
“You’d let it go to your head if I did,” Larry said dismissively. “Anyway, eight seconds might be good enough for this competition, but it’s all amateurs. If you want to start riding against the pros, we’re going to have to get you even better than that.”
I shook my head. “I mean, riding against the pros would be incredible,” I said. “But that’s not why I’m doing this. If I can bag that ten grand, I’m investing in this art gallery that a close friend of mine is trying to open.” I had to hesitate a moment, wanting to call Vanessa my girlfriend, but I didn’t think Larry noticed.
Larry shook his head. “All this for a girl. Figures.” He looked toward the ring, where the handlers were just now getting the bull lassoed and led away. “The other thing to keep in mind is that this isn’t the most difficult ride you’ll ever take. We’ve been working with Tarv because he’s just a training bull.”
“Yeah, but look how much better I’ve already gotten,” I said. “When we first started training, I couldn’t stay on for half as long as I do now.”
“You’ve got potential,” he admitted finally. “Whoever this girl of yours is, she’s sure got you determined to win. I will say that I’ve never seen someone as ready to pick themselves up for another go as you’ve been. Now, whether that makes you stupid or strong, I don’t know.”
I laughed. “Thanks,” I said, deciding to take that as a compliment. I had the feeling that was as close as Larry was ever going to get to one.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said dismissively, waving me away. “Get out of here. That’s all for today. I know you’re eager for another go, but Tarv needs a cooldown, and I need to get some actual work done around here.”
I looked around the ranch, which was slowly but surely coming together more than it had been a few weeks ago when I’d first started coming there. “Can I help you out with anything?” I asked. “You know, I work over at the Lazy J.”
“I know,” Larry said. “I’ve asked around about you. Probably know more than you think I do. Wanted to see what kind of trouble I was getting myself mixed up with.”
I grimaced but forged ahead. “Well, if you talked to John about me, he’s the owner of the Lazy J, and he could tell you how good I am around a ranch.”
“You angling for a job or offering to help out?” Larry asked, sounding amused, but he waved away my answer. “Get out of here,” he repeated. “You’re looking exhausted enough without my giving you any extra work to do.”
I ducked my head, but I had no response to that. “See you tomorrow,” I said, giving a quick wave as I headed toward my truck. Larry just grunted in response.
I called Brent as I drove home. “Hey man, how’s it going?” he asked.
“Pretty great, actually,” I told him. “I just managed to stay on the bull for eight seconds!”
I could hear the confusion in Brent’s voice when he answered. “What are you doing giving the bull at the Roasted Bison a spin this early in the afternoon?” he asked. “And why are you calling me about it instead of preening to Vanessa or something?”
I laughed. “I’m not at the Roasted Bison,” I told him. I parked the car out in front of my building and ran a hand back through my hair, looking out down Main Street. “With how busy I’ve been over the past few weeks, I forget that I haven’t told you what I’ve been up to.”
“You haven’t,” he said, and I could hear a bit of reproach in his voice which made me feel instantly guilty. He’d called a couple times, but I barely had time to relax. I’d just texted him in response.
“Sorry,” I said sincerely. “I’ve been busy.” I yawned. “And exhausted.”
“What are you doing, anyway?”
“Remember how I always wanted to ride bulls?” I asked. “Well, I’m actually getting into that. There was this guy down at the Roasted Bison a few weeks ago, this guy named George. He’s trying to put together an amateur competition to promote his new riding school. Got the sponsors already lined up and everything.”
“And what, you just decided to go ahead and enter the competition?” he asked, sounding incredulous. “You know those things can kill you, right?”
I snorted. “You sound like Vanessa,” I told him. “No, I didn’t just sign up. But I was talking to George about it, and he was telling me how good it would be for his advertising if he had this underdog that he was able to train up in time to win the competition. He’s got me training for free with Larry Cobb, the instructor at his riding school, and I’m getting good at it. I got eight seconds today, and that would mean that I was eligible to win the competition. There’s still a lot more to be done, but I’m really starting to get somewhere!”
“Wow, man,” Brent said. “I don’t really know what to say, but that’s great. I mean, it sounds kind of fishy as well if you ask me, but I’m not there so I don’t know. I guess you probably know what you’re doing.”
I rolled my eyes. “Come on, man, I was expecting you to be excited,” I said.
“I am,” Brent insisted. He snorted. “So, I guess the reason you’ve been ignoring me for two weeks is bullshit?” he joked.
I laughed. “Seriously, I’m sorry about that,” I told him. “How’s Helena going, anyway? You making any progress on getting set up there?”
“Yeah, it’s actually been really good for me,” Brent said, sounding really happy for the first time in ages. “The clinic helped me find a house with some other people who used to have drug problems and who know what I’m going through. We’ve got a totally clean house, no booze or anything. It was really rough at first, but it’s getting better. I’m getting used to it. I’ve got a job, too.”
“Oh yeah? Doing what?” I honestly couldn’t even imagine Brent doing any sort of work; he’d never done anything except drug dealing.
“It’s nothing fancy,” he said. “But I’m working as a waiter at this local restaurant. Pretty decent pay, especially with the tips.” He snorted. “I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if everyone just sees how badly I need the money, or if I’m actually doing a good job of acting friendly, but I get some serious tips.”
I laughed. “You were always a funny guy,” I said. “You always had charisma. That’s what made you such a good salesman.”
“Thanks,” Brent said, but he sounded surprisingly un-sarcastic when he said it. “Now all I need is to meet a hot chick who wants to be with me.”
“How’s the scene for that in Helena?” I asked.
There was a slight pause. “It’s tricky,” Brent finally said. “I’m fully clean. Totally sober. And I’m trying not to go out to bars because I’m afraid that’s going to lead me right back to where I was in White Bluff. But I’m not really sure how to meet girls if I’m not out at bars. There’s this one girl, Maggie, that I work with, and we get along pretty well; we have similar senses of humor. But she’s a nice girl. If she knew the kinds of things that I’d been up to, I don’t think she’d want anything to do with me anymore.”
I grimaced. “That’s rough,” I said. “What kinds of things do you get up to when you’re not working, anyway?” It sounded stupid to say, but Brent never had any hobbies other than getting stoned and playing video games.
Brent laughed. “Figuring out what to do with myself has been kind of weird,” he said. “You’d laugh if you knew the stupid things I’ve been doing.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“My counselor at the local drug clinic here in Helena has signed me up for all sorts of classes at the community college,” he said. “Obviously I’m the one footing the bill for them, and I wouldn’t actually be signed up for them if I had protested enough about them, but I still don’t really know what’s going on.”
“You’re going to community college?” I asked, surprised to hear that.
“Well, we couldn’t all find our passions at the ranch up the road in White Bluff,” Brent said.
I shook my head. “What are you studying anyway?”
“At the moment? It seems like a li
ttle bit of everything. She has me in a goddamned painting class.” He paused. “I’d drop out of it, but Maggie saw my paintbrushes sticking out of my bag at one point and got really excited and told me all about her passion for art, so I don’t know, man, I just... haven’t dropped it yet.”
I laughed, still trying to join this new side of Brent with the image of Brent that I had in my head. “Sounds like things are going well,” I said.
“What about you?” Brent asked. “How are things going between you and Vanessa? To be honest, I thought that maybe you weren’t talking to me because you’d broken up with her or something.”
“Can’t break up with her since we technically aren’t dating,” I pointed out. I sighed. “Things are going really well, but we still haven’t really talked about what we’re doing. Anyway, I don’t really feel like I could date her at the moment, not properly, not the way that she deserves. I don’t have much to bring to the table. She has a college degree, and her dad owns the ranch that I work on. This bull riding competition could change all of that, though.”
“Because then she’d know what a real cowboy you are?” Brent asked, sounding amused.
“No,” I said, grinning. “Because if I win this thing, I’ll get ten thousand bucks in prize money. And I’m going to invest every penny of it into the art gallery that she’s trying to open.”
Brent whistled lowly. “Wow,” he said. “That’s a pretty romantic gesture for you.”
I snorted. “It’s not really romantic; it’s just what needs to be done,” I said, shrugging and feeling embarrassed despite the fact that Brent was my best friend and obviously already knew that I was in love with Vanessa still, after all these years.
“Not to stress you out, but you are the most driven guy that I’ve ever met,” Brent said quietly. “I’m serious. Despite the drugs and everything else. And seriously, good luck at the competition. I’m sure you’ll do an amazing job at it.”
I stared at the wall for a moment, trying to process that one. “Thanks,” I finally said thickly. “Just. Thanks.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Vanessa
Julie folded her menu and looked over at me, raising her eyebrows. “So, come on,” she said. “Spill.”
I laughed and held up both my hands. “There’s nothing to spill,” I told her.
“Bullshit,” she said succinctly. “You were downright giddy on the phone. What’s changed?”
I shook my head, still grinning. “The gallery thing might actually be happening,” I told her.
“What? How?”
“It’s due to Trethan, actually,” I said. “Nothing’s set in stone yet, but he’s going to give me the money if everything goes well.” I giggled a little. “I honestly don’t know how I got so lucky to have such a great family and now to find such a perfect man.”
“How is Trethan going to give you thousands of dollars?” Julie asked, sounding skeptical. “I mean, what, has he just been saving up all this money over the years and now is ready to invest it in something? I can’t imagine that your dad is paying him that well.”
“It’s not from working at the ranch,” I said. “He’s been practicing riding the mechanical bull over at the Roasted Bison, and he’s getting really good at it. Anyway, this guy saw him ride a couple weeks ago and wants Trethan to feature in some amateur competition. If he wins, he’ll get ten thousand dollars in prize money.”
Julie was silent for a moment. “And you’re happy about this?” she finally asked.
“I mean, I guess it’s not the best situation ever,” I said uncertainly. “It’s a gamble, but he’s really excited about it, and he seems to think that he can do it. And if he can, then that’s great, right?”
She sighed. “It’s not about it being a gamble,” she said. “But it’s dangerous, don’t you think? He could really hurt himself.”
“He’s being careful,” I said defensively.
“I’m sure he is,” Julie said soothingly. “But what happens next? He can’t keep riding bulls forever, can he? That’s not a stable way to live.”
“It’s just to help me get the gallery off the ground,” I said.
She hummed. “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up too much,” she said. “And, I don’t want you to put too much pressure on Trethan. I can only imagine what he might do if he thought this was the only way that he could end up with you.”
I was silent for a long moment. “You don’t think he’s thinking that, do you?” I couldn’t help asking. “I mean, he has me, whether he wins this thing or not.”
“I know that,” she said. “But does he know that? To put it frankly, you left, Vanessa. You went off to college, and you both thought that was going to be the end of the two of you. Now you’re back, but we all know that if you don’t manage to open this gallery, you’re not going to spend your whole life bumming around White Bluff. Don’t you think Trethan must be feeling as though your staying here hangs on whether or not he wins that bull ride?”
I stared at her for a long moment. “Oh shit,” I finally managed, my hand creeping up to cover my mouth. “That’s probably exactly what he’s thinking.” I shook my head. “What should I do?”
Julie smiled a little. “Well, you could start by just going over there and talking to him,” she said.
I nodded absently, already thinking through what I needed to say. Then I shook my head. “Do you think things are even meant to work out between Trethan and me?”
Julie raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Are you having problems? I thought everything was good between the two of you.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know. Everything just seems so complicated between us.”
“How so?”
I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair. “Just this whole question of whether I’m going to leave again. And then there’s the fact that we still haven’t told my dad that we’re together again. Plus, there’s the whole question of if this is what either of us wants for the rest of our lives. How do you know that? I mean, I guess you knew that with Liam, right?”
She laughed. “Honestly, I still don’t know that with Liam. But there’s no one else that I want to be with forever. And once I got pregnant with Danny, there was no one else I could imagine being the father of my child.” She shook her head. “I don’t know if I believe in all of that soulmate stuff. But Liam and I are happy, and we work well together as a couple and as parents, and I think maybe that’s what really counts, more than promises of forever.”
“But how am I supposed to know that with Trethan?” I asked. “His dad apparently wasn’t a very nice guy, and what if Trethan ends up just like him? Or what if we raise another little drug dealer? Trethan didn’t exactly run with the best crowd.”
Julie was quiet for a long moment. “Are you trying to talk yourself out of it?” she finally asked.
“No!” I said.
She shrugged. “Then don’t talk yourself out of it.” She paused. “It sounds like you might be getting cold feet. Trethan giving you the money you need for the gallery is a pretty big gesture from him. Maybe you’re just feeling a bit worried about the commitment that comes along with it.”
I was quiet for a long moment. She had hit the nail on the head when she guessed that I was scared about the consequences of Trethan’s success, but not in exactly the way that she thought. I was more afraid that if he was successful at bull riding, it would take him away from me. He could go off and do all sorts of competitions. He wouldn’t be stuck here in White Bluff anymore.
It wasn’t fair for me to think like that, though. Trethan had let me go off to college. I knew that couldn’t have been easy for him. If bull riding was what he wanted, I couldn’t stand in the way of that, no matter what it meant for us.
We were going to have to have a talk about the whole thing, though. I couldn’t live with knowing that he was only going through with this risky plan because he thought he was going to lose me otherwise.
And yet, that afternoon,
when Trethan answered the door looking sexy as anything with just a towel around his waist, all the words seemed to fly right out of my head. “Uh, hi,” I said, blinking at him, my eyes trailing down his chest, down the line of hair that disappeared beneath the soft material.
Trethan grinned knowingly at me and leaned against the doorframe, practically preening. “See something you like?” he purred.
I blushed and dragged my eyes back up toward his face, desperately turned on, but knowing that we needed to talk or I would feel guilty the whole time.
He caught me in his arms and pulled me inside, kicking the door shut and stalling my questions with his lips against mine. I moaned as my fingers slipped along his still-damp, muscular abs. Then, I forced myself to turn my head to the side. “Trethan, we need to talk,” I gasped out as he sucked at my earlobe.
“I’m listening,” he insisted, his breath hot against the shell of my ear.
I shivered and tried to disentangle myself from his arms. “I’m serious,” I said, but I couldn’t stop giggling as he continued to come after me.
“I’m serious, too,” he said, capturing me again and lifting me into his arms, pinning me back against the wall. “Seriously horny. Come on, let’s have sex and then we can talk about whatever is on your mind.”
I mewled softly as he nibbled at my neck, his talented fingers playing along my sides, a promise of what was to come. But I couldn’t seem to turn my brain off. I splayed a palm against his chest, forcing him back so that I could look into his eyes. “Are you sure about this?” I asked quietly.
He raised his eyebrows at me. “Sure about having sex with you right here in the front hall?” he asked. “Absolutely. You have a problem with that idea? We could move to the couch. Or the bed, I guess.”
