by Vivi Andrews
“I can read his mind,” Jay admitted. “I can see he loves her. I implied that if I stayed in Hell I would tell her.”
Telling Satan’s wife he loved her was their get-out-of-Hell-free card. She couldn’t make sense of this world.
Sasha’s thoughts raced, replaying the last hour as her emotions swung back and forth like a pendulum. Jay had told the ruler of the Underworld that he loved her, but his mother was the Queen of Lies and the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. He’d protected her from the demonic minions, probably saving her life a dozen times in the last hour, but he’d also lied to her more times than she could count over the last six months. Even his behavior had been a lie. The mild-mannered Clark Kent. Sure, she’d hated the niceness of him, but this was swinging a bit too far in the opposite extreme. From too-nice-for-me to demon—her heart couldn’t keep up.
“Does he really love her?” she heard herself asking, because it was easier than the question she needed answered—Can demons love?
“In a way. In the only way he can.”
That really wasn’t comforting. “What way is that?”
Jay frowned. “Angels and demons… It’s complicated. Love means something different when you look at your life in millennia rather than decades.”
Millennia. She frowned, distracted by the thought. “Just how old are you, Jay?”
“Thirty-four. I told you.”
“You also told me you were human and that hasn’t turned out so well.” Though she was unspeakably relieved she hadn’t been screwing someone who’d been around for the dawn of humanity. The age difference would have been way too creepy, even if all the demons she’d seen so far were ageless and youthful. Even Gerry had a timelessness about him.
“You assumed I was human. And I left some stuff out I probably shouldn’t have, but all the words I’ve spoken to you are technically true.”
“Silly me not to ask you if you were a demon from Hell who could read my mind. That goes right to the top of the list for my next first date.”
“I can’t,” Jay replied sharply. “Read your mind. I never could. Jezebeth created me to be a weapon against demons, not man. The demons around me might as well be screaming their innermost thoughts in my ear, but humans are just a muddy background noise. Even when I concentrate I can’t always make it out. And I could never hear you. Not even a little. Your natural shields kept me out entirely.”
He grabbed her hand to pull her around a tight corner. She let him keep it—but only for steering purposes. It had nothing to do with the fact that she liked him a lot better after she found out he hadn’t been rooting around in her brain.
Provided he wasn’t lying.
“How am I supposed to believe you?”
Jay grimaced. “I don’t know. I can promise to be honest with you until the day I die, I can tell you why I felt I had to deceive you, but I can’t make you trust me.”
The thing was she did trust him. She didn’t want to, but she couldn’t seem to shake the foundation they’d built. That had to be unhealthy. Dysfunctional relationships warning sign number one.
“Why lie?” she asked, avoiding the question she really wanted answered. “Was it just because you thought I’d react badly if you said you were a demon?” She probably wouldn’t have believed him. Angels and demons existed, sure, but the idea that there was one hitting on you in a library stretched credibility too far.
“Part of it was habit,” he admitted. “You learn early, growing up in Hell, that anything you say can be used against you. So you learn to shut up. Especially if your mother is a deception demoness who can sense whenever someone is lying in her presence.”
“Is that why you were so quiet?”
“And why Lucifer was careful never to say he wanted to do you harm. He likes you, you know.”
“I’m delighted. You might have mentioned your mother is a walking lie detector before I started bullshitting her.”
“I told you not to say anything. That’s always safest—because if she can tell a lie, she can also sense the truth and sometimes that can be just as damning. It’s why Lucifer can’t say he loves her, even if he does. She would know the truth or lie in it and use it against him either way. He can’t give her that power over him. The best demonic diplomacy is silence.”
He pulled up suddenly, pressing her flush against the wall with an arm across her torso. “Minions ahead,” he said quietly. “Jezebeth must have them guarding the exit.” He swore softly.
“Is there another way out?”
“Not that we can be sure will still be open when we get there, even if we had time to go to the next one, which we don’t.”
“So we fight our way out.” Sasha drew the reloaded Desert Eagle. “Any tips on demon killing I should know this time?”
“Aim for the body. These are lesser demons so taking out the brain doesn’t slow them down much.”
“I don’t suppose you have another clip of angel ammo lying around?” Though she had no idea where he’d hidden the first one. Tight bloodstained jeans showcased his ass to beautiful effect but didn’t leave many places to hide ammunitions.
Jay frowned, then blinked at her. “I keep forgetting you don’t know all you should.”
“You don’t have to be a dick about it.”
“No. It’s just…odd. Having to explain things I’ve always known. The human lack of knowledge about angels and demons is stunning. And for you to be kept in the dark…”
“It’s not like you guys are doing a lot to educate us,” Sasha snapped. “Angels just love to perpetuate the rumors about them. They can smell sin from a mile away. They can hear impure thoughts and every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings. It’s all bullshit, but we don’t even know bullshit about demons. So why don’t you enlighten me, oh wise one?”
“Those guns—” he gestured to the Desert Eagles, “—they aren’t really guns. That’s an angel’s sword. I’ve heard of them turning into bows, staffs, whatever the user is most comfortable handling. Apparently your favorite weapon is a .44 Magnum—which isn’t much of a surprise.” His mouth quirked in a grin. “An angel’s sword can never run out of ammunition, but they are strongly affected by the desires of the wielder. I think the only reason you were able to come up empty earlier is because you were so certain there could only be so many bullets. The sword was handicapped by your belief. So I told you there were more, and when you believed it, there were.”
Sasha frowned, remembering something else he’d said about the guns when they were pinned down by demonic minions. “Why couldn’t you fire it? Because you’re a demon?”
“Sort of.”
Sasha glowered. “No. No more half truths. Why?”
“Because I don’t have angelic blood.”
For a moment, Sasha said nothing, trying to make sense of that. “But I’m not…”
Jay looked away down the hall, evading her eyes. “I wasn’t sure, at first. I thought I sensed angel light in you, but you didn’t act like them. You treated me like there might be something worth redeeming in me—which an angel would never do. Angels and their offspring are forbidden from loving demons. It would be chaos if good loved evil.”
“You aren’t evil,” she said, addressing the only part of what he’d said that her brain could process. I’m the farthest thing in the world from angelic.
“I know that, but they don’t. It isn’t black and white, good or evil, but angels don’t see grey.”
“It’s not true. The angel thing. I would know.”
“Your mother might not even know,” Jay offered.
Sasha felt the foundations of her world start to slide. “My mother?” The Angel of Hollywood.
“The angelic line must come through her. Didn’t her father disappear shortly after she was born? Your grandmother, Maeve Christian, she was a starlet in the forties, wasn’t she? Beautiful enough to tempt an angel. She might never have known what he really was.”
“The wings would have been a pretty b
ig hint.”
“They can assume a human disguise, just like demonic glamour. You would never see the difference.”
“Glamour.” Great. Another thing to worry about. Sasha fixated on that, so she wouldn’t have to think about the earth-shattering angel thing. “Is this even what you look like?” she asked, waving to the six-pack abs and bitable ass. He probably had horns and tentacles beneath it all.
“I’ve never used glamour on you. It probably wouldn’t have worked on an angel’s granddaughter anyway.”
“Could you not say the angel’s granddaughter thing like you’re certain it’s true?”
“Sasha, you can wield an angel’s sword, your blood burns lesser demons like acid, and my mother and Lucifer both recognized the light in you. I am certain it’s true.”
Jezebeth hadn’t been calling her an angels’ pawn. She’d been screaming angelspawn. “You said you weren’t sure, at first. When did you suspect?” And why didn’t you tell me?
“From the start,” he admitted. “Can we talk about this more after we get you topside?”
The evasion twigged something at the edge of her thoughts. Sasha was through not listening to her instincts. There was something Jay wasn’t telling her. She just needed to find the right question.
“Is that why you tried to pick me up? Because you thought I was angelic?”
Jay closed his eyes and huffed out a low groan.
Jackpot.
“I’m going to be completely honest, because I promised I wouldn’t lie to you anymore, but I would really appreciate it if you could try not to hate me for this. I don’t feel this way anymore.”
Sasha’s grip tightened on the angelic gun. “Go on.”
“During the Dark Ages, demons were allowed to wander the mortal plane freely, but our excesses and vices upset the balance of good and evil and when we meddled too much in the affairs of man, God decided to bring us into check. Christmas morning had been declared a time of rebirth—the anniversary of man’s redemption and God’s grace—and it was decided that no demon, or creature of demonic origin who was more evil than good, could inhabit the mortal plane on Christmas. Dawn of December twenty-fifth became known as The Cleanse—a moment when any evil being caught above would be smote by the wrath of God.”
“Killed?”
“Worse. Death is a transformation of the soul’s form. Smiting is banishment to the deepest level of Hell. No demon or demonspawn has ever returned from The Cleanse, and I knew I wouldn’t survive it, but I wanted to remain in man’s realm. When I saw you, I thought it was a sign. If I could somehow absorb angel light, I might be able to survive and stay. I never planned on falling in love with you.”
“Please stop throwing that word around. Love isn’t a cure-all pill, Jay. Saying it doesn’t magically fix everything.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say instead.”
Sasha didn’t know what she wanted to hear either. Somehow the idea that he had only approached her in the first place because he wanted to use her cut much deeper than finding out he was a lying demon. He could be a demon and a tough guy and still be her Clark Kent, but this changed him to her. After a lifetime of being used to gain access to her powerful family, Sasha had thought she’d finally found someone who was different, someone who only wanted her, but now it turned out he’d only been interested in her because of another branch of her family tree.
Was something wrong with her? Why could she never compete with the appeal of her pedigree?
“Why not spend Christmas dawn with my mother and me, then? Surrounded by the offspring of angels. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Her voice sounded foreign, hoarse.
“Things have changed,” he said, his voice equally rough. “It was always a gamble to stay above for Christmas, but I didn’t have anything to lose before you. Maybe I never would have gone through with it, but I couldn’t take the risk when there was a chance I could go back to Hell for Christmas and be back with you by New Year’s.”
“The angels…they want you out of Hell by dawn. Do they want you…cleansed? Smote?”
“That’s the most likely option. They don’t like it when we break the rules and get above ourselves.”
“But there’s another option?”
Jay shrugged. “It’s possible they meant for you to redeem me. Angelic quests for redemption are usually reserved for humans, but this could be a special case.”
“What would I have to do to redeem you?” She may not be sure how she felt about him right now, but she didn’t want to condemn him to an eternity in Hell chained to a wall either.
“I haven’t the faintest idea. Purification was never really a forte of my kind.”
“Look. You get me out of here and I’ll see what I can do about redeeming you, but after that we’re done. Okay?” That must be hands down the weirdest breakup speech in the history of mankind.
A muscle in Jay’s jaw jumped. “Fair enough.”
Her throat tightened, choking off any more words. That’s what she wanted, right? So why did her chest ache at the thought that he’d give up so easily? Why couldn’t she stop wanting him?
***
Fair enough. Luckily, demons weren’t known for their fairness.
Jay didn’t have to show her the way out. He didn’t have to play by the rules. If he did nothing, the sun would rise with her beside him and she would never be able to walk away. Sure, she’d be trapped in Hell, but they would be together. He’d have an eternity to win her back, rather than a handful of minutes before the dawn.
He’d heard his mother’s thoughts and Lucifer’s. They didn’t understand or trust the depth of his feelings for the angel-girl. Love beyond a person’s usefulness was a concept foreign to demonkind and foreign concepts were always dangerous. If Sasha didn’t redeem him, he wouldn’t be allowed back on earth to pursue her. They would keep him occupied in the Underworld until her mortal lifespan was up. Even if she was likely to live longer than most thanks to her angelic heritage, Jezebeth could outwait her.
But if they stayed here together, he could protect her. He could teach her the ropes in Hell and, for a while at least, she would be totally dependent on him. It was cold and manipulative, but he’d never balked at icy practicality before. He didn’t even have to do anything to make it happen. All he had to do was nothing. Delay a little longer.
The idea held a sultry temptation.
Jay gazed down at the woman at his side. Bedraggled and bruised, with a bandage on her arm and a gun in her hand, she was everything that was wild and fierce and vulnerable. His chest contracted and he swallowed thickly.
“Come on,” he said, his voice buzz-saw rough. “We’d better hurry.”
He ran toward the mob at the exit gate. He needed to feel his blade cutting into flesh, needed vengeance against the worlds that seemed aligned against him. If he could hack his way through, drowning in the quick rush of violence, then he wouldn’t have to think about the fact that it was his fault. He had done what any demon would have done. He’d lied, deceived and manipulated Sasha, trying to bend her to his ambition, but all he’d managed to do was sabotage the one thing that could have saved him. Regret was a weakness he refused to feel, so he poured it into the blade and swung hard, slashing into the mindless minion hordes at the door.
He might be beyond redemption, but he could still see Sasha free of the Hell of his making.
Chapter Eleven
Angels We Have Heard in Hollywood
Jay fought like a man possessed—which considering his demonic background, wasn’t such a stretch. Gore flew and blood splattered in a horror-movie montage. Sasha followed tightly in the wake he cut through the minions, firing whenever anything lunged at his unprotected back. The gate was thirty feet away, then twenty, then five. It was over so quickly. Before the battle had fully begun they were through the doorway, spilling into the murky twilight of the pre-dawn night.
Tall, coarse grass tangled around her ankles as she spun, ready to obliterate anyth
ing that came through after them, but the minions shied back, hovering on the other side of the portal.
“They can sense the dawn,” Jay said behind her. “They won’t follow. We don’t have long.”
Sasha spun to face him and found herself looking out over the lights of Los Angeles. The portal had dropped them in the Hollywood Hills, not far from the iconic sign. A suitably dramatic setting for their farewell. And it had to be a farewell. Neither of them knew how to redeem him.
“Jay…” She didn’t know what she was going to say. Have a nice life? She’d thought they were going to break up yesterday and it had been depressing but not heartbreaking. Now, after everything they’d been through in the last hours, why did it feel like she was giving up The One? She wasn’t even sure she believed in The One. Was it just the intensity of the night? The bond of surviving together? Or could it be him?
“I’m sorry about how things turned out,” he said when she couldn’t find the words. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I thought I could use you. But even though I should probably regret ever meeting you after what I’ve put you through tonight, I can’t. I’m glad I got to be with you, for however short a time, Sasha. I lo—” He broke off, grimacing. “I guess I’ll stop throwing that word around. But I’ll be…thinking of you. You’ll always have my…regard.”
He nodded once, as if he’d said his piece and was satisfied. Sasha was anything but. He started toward the portal and Sasha’s feet rushed to stop him before she even realized she was moving. “Jay, wait.”
He turned to look at her just as a burst of light split the darkness, illuminating his face in a brilliant white glow. The snap of wings was loud in the pre-dawn silence as a shimmering angelic warrior touched down between them.
“You succeeded,” Zacharael’s emotionless rumble intoned.
“How do I redeem Jay?” she demanded. Sasha didn’t know how close the dawn was, but she wasn’t going to waste time.
The angel watched her, ignoring Jay’s existence, his face as blank as ever. “How did you find the Underworld?”
Small talk. Great. “It wasn’t what I expected. How does redemption work?”
