by Lynne Graham
‘Sorry…a comparison?’ Tabby stared at her in confusion.
‘This is the ring I wore when I was engaged to Christien. Look closely at it, expect to see it back on my engagement finger again, because when you screw up as a wife he’ll divorce you and I’ll comfort him,’ Veronique forecast.
Tabby was paralysed to the spot. ‘When were you engaged to Christien?’
‘Right up until a little scrubber came out of nowhere clutching her bastard brat!’ the brunette advanced nastily. ‘It pays well to be fertile, doesn’t it?’
CHAPTER TEN
A LL the colour in Tabby’s face had faded away. Giddy with the force of her disturbed emotions, she turned on her heel and walked away from Veronique.
Veronique was lying. Of course, Christien couldn’t have been engaged when Tabby had come back into his life. Christien would have said so. Christien was always such a stickler for honesty. There was no way he could have been Veronique’s fiancé, no way on earth! Dry-mouthed and trembling, Tabby lifted a glass of champagne off a waiter’s tray and downed it in one.
She espied Christien out in the entrance hall and sped out there at the speed of light to catch him on his own before anyone else could intercept him. ‘Veronique just showed me her engagement ring-’
Christien vented what sounded like a French swear word. ‘I was planning to tell you after the wedding, ma belle.’
Tabby studied him in sick disbelief and took a step back from him. ‘You mean…it’s true? You were engaged to her? When did you and her split up?’
‘We’ll discuss this later in private,’ Christien decreed, distrusting the overwrought wobble in Tabby’s voice and the furious look of hurt and condemnation in her green eyes.
‘When did you break it off with her?’ Tabby snapped.
His lean, strong face clenched. ‘What I had with Veronique is not relevant to what I have with you.’
‘She just called me a scrubber for the second time in my life…and this time, thanks to you, I deserve it!’ Tabby accused, but her voice was shaking because her heart felt as if it were breaking up inside her.
‘Veronique called you a…what?’ Christien growled in raging disbelief. ‘You must have misheard her-’
‘Like heck I did. She called me one four years ago as well. Imagine you being so dumb you didn’t even realise she was determined to hook you that far back. But as far as I’m concerned now she can have you back…and she’s welcome to you!’ Tabby slung in fierce conclusion before she stalked back into the ballroom.
Dark anger flaring, Christien went to find Veronique.
‘I’m sorry, but Tabby is lying to you.’ Veronique sighed in sympathy. ‘I think she must be feeling jealous and she’s made up this nonsense in a silly attempt to destroy our friendship. Don’t be too hard on her. Quite naturally, she’s feeling insecure.’
His narrowed gaze probed the gleam in her pale blue eyes. Sly? His lean, strong face was grim. ‘I am satisfied that Tabby is telling me the truth. If you abuse her again or spread gossip about her or our child, I’ll sue you through every court in France until you’re ruined.’
Veronique had gone white with shock.
‘I make a bitter enemy and I will protect her with the last breath in my body.’ Christien’s intonation was cold as ice. ‘Leave my home. You’re not welcome here.’
Having submerged herself in the crush of dancers to evade the risk of Christien’s pursuit, Tabby emerged at the far side of the floor. She helped herself to another glass of champagne and drank it down in the hope that the alcohol would help her stay smiling until the last guests had departed. At the far end of the room Matilde Laroche was chatting with relatives. The older woman did not deserve the embarrassment of the newly engaged couple having an open fight at the party she had arranged.
Unfortunately, however, reflections that caused Tabby a great deal of pain and humiliation were already bombarding her from all directions. Christien could only have decided to marry her because of Jake. No wonder Veronique hated her guts! Doubtless Matilde had kept quiet about his having been engaged to Veronique because she also believed that Christien should marry her grandson’s mother.
Christien found Tabby taking refuge out on the balcony beyond the ballroom and he breathed in deep when she spun away refusing to look at him. ‘Veronique wasn’t invited this evening and I made the initial mistake of crediting that she had gatecrashed in a spirit of goodwill. But I told her to leave and she’s gone and I assure you that she will not trouble you again-’
‘Go away…I hate you!’ Tabby gulped back the sob threatening her voice.
‘Tabby-’
‘Did you or did you not sleep with me when you were engaged to another woman?’ Tabby demanded shakily.
In the moonlight, Christien almost groaned out loud.
‘You lying, cheating…when I think of the grief you gave me when I lied about my age four years ago and here you are…’ Words failed Tabby in her angry distress and she stalked past him.
A lean hand snapped round her elbow. ‘Don’t do this to us. Just let it go. I remained silent about Veronique because I didn’t want to wreck things-’
Tabby tried to pull free. ‘Let go of me!’
‘I can’t let you walk away in this mood-’
‘I’ll scream if you don’t!’
Christien removed his hand with a flourish. ‘This is insane. You know how it has been between us from the minute we met again.’
‘Lust!’ Tabby fired at him in disgust.
Tears were threatening to flood her eyes when she returned to the ballroom. Sean stopped in front of her. ‘What’s up? Are you all right?’
‘Dance with me,’ she begged.
The music was slow and Sean groaned. ‘I’m no good at these ones.’
Tabby wrapped her arms round his neck and mumbled, ‘Just shuffle.’
‘Have you had a row with Christien?’
‘Why would you think that?’
‘Oh, no good reason…just he’s standing at the edge of the floor looking furious with both hands clenched into fists as if I’m making a pass at you,’ Sean said.
‘Ignore him.’
‘He’s a big guy and hard to ignore. He is also very jealous. I noticed that the first time I met him. If I let a single finger stray, he’ll haul me off the floor and kill me, so try not to stumble or do anything that he might misinterpret.’ Sean sighed.
‘He’s not jealous…why would he be jealous of me?’
‘Possibly because he’s one of those intense types who goes overboard when he falls in love-’
‘In love?’ A sour little laugh fell from Tabby’s lips.
‘He’s been bitten deep by it too. Doesn’t like to see you laughing with another bloke either,’ Sean remarked even more uneasily, holding her back from him at a careful and circumspect distance.
The minute the music paused, Christien strode up and Sean released her with patent relief. Tabby collided with scorching golden eyes and twisted her head away, but Christien was too fast for her and he drew her close.
‘I know you’re angry with me…but don’t start flirting with other guys-’
The champagne was bubbling through her like petrol hitting a bonfire. ‘I’ll do as I like!’
Christien closed his arms round her. ‘Fais ce que je dis…do as I say. Stay calm-’
‘I want to scream at you,’ she gasped chokily.
‘Scream all you like…just don’t flirt. It drives me crazy-’
‘How can you act jealous of me after the way you’ve behaved? When did you get engaged to her?’ Tabby snapped at him like a bristling cat ready to pounce on prey.
‘We should talk about this when you’ve sober-’
‘Are you suggesting I’m drunk?’
‘No, I’m doing you the justice of assuming that you only screech when you’ve had too much champagne,’ Christien murmured tautly.
‘Answer my question-’
‘We got engaged six months a
go. It was-’
Tabby lifted her arms and brought them down to break his hold. Frozen-faced and rigid-backed, she walked away. The last hour of the party seemed to fly. Later she could not have said whom she spoke to or what she said, but her cheekbones ached with the smile she kept glued in place. Six months, was all she could think in an agony of jealous hurt. Six months!
When the final merrymaker departed, Christien closed a hand over hers and urged her into the library. She snatched her fingers free of his, folded her arms and finally threw her head high to stare back at him. ‘I can’t marry you now…’
He lost colour, lean, darkly handsome features setting hard. ‘I would have told you about the engagement after the wedding. It wasn’t important but I knew that you would regard it in a different light-’
‘Your engagement to another woman wasn’t important? Wasn’t the least you owed her fidelity? And didn’t I deserve honesty? Do you think I’d have had anything to do with you if I’d known you belonged to someone else-?’
‘Belong? What am I? A trophy?’ Christien made a sudden angry slashing movement with one brown hand, his frustration unconcealed. ‘Last year, Veronique and I talked about how we had got into the habit of using each other as partners on certain social occasions. We were friends and it worked well. We discussed marriage from a practical point of view. I needed a hostess and she valued high social status and a husband who would not interfere in her career, for she is ambitious. We decided that we could have a successful marriage without the emotional entanglements that so often lead to disillusionment-’
‘It sounds like one very creepy arrangement to me,’ Tabby sniped.
‘Fidelity was not required from me. It was not part of our agreement.’ Glittering golden eyes sought and held hers, willing her to listen and understand. ‘I tell you that only because I don’t want you feeling guilty about what happened between us-’
‘Veronique told you that you could sleep around?’ Tabby gave him an aghast appraisal. ‘And you accepted that? That’s disgraceful!’
‘Not in her opinion. Veronique does not attach importance to such matters.’
‘Well, it’s just as well that I’m not marrying you, because if you played away on me, I’d make your life hell!’ Tabby launched fiercely. ‘In fact hell would feel like a four-star paradise by the time I’d finished with you!’
It threw her off balance when Christien seemed to almost smile at that threatening declaration. ‘I know,’ he acknowledged. ‘But tell the average single male that he can have a beautiful, accomplished wife and do as he likes behind closed doors with other women and he’ll go for it…until he finds that there’s something better-’
‘Well, I think it’s disgusting!’ Tabby spun away.
‘But I’m with you now-’
Tabby vented a humourless laugh. He was only with her because all Veronique’s beauty and accomplishments had proved to be worthless in the face of a three-year-old son in his own handsome image. If Jake had not existed and Tabby had been willing to settle for being a kept woman in that opulent house in the Loire valley, Christien would have stayed engaged to Veronique and he would eventually have married her. She could not forgive him for that. She just could not forgive him for choosing to marry her solely for the benefit of their son. After all, she was not his friend, who inspired his respect and admiration as the brunette did!
There was nothing Christien would not do for Jake. She had seen his relief when the consultant had told them that Jake’s asthma was unlikely to get worse and that he looked set to outgrow it. Christien adored his son. He didn’t say it, didn’t need to say it, just lit up with tender pride and protectiveness around Jake and got down on his knees to play with toy cars as if it were the most fun he had ever had. Her wretched eyes misted over. No, she could not fault him for loving Jake. That would be unfair. But she had a right to her own self-esteem and it was being battered into the ground by the cruel confirmation that the only true interest the guy she loved had in her was her wanton talent for meeting his every passionate demand in bed.
‘I’m really sorry that you’ve been upset by this,’ Christien breathed grittily. ‘But it doesn’t touch us. Can’t you see that? I wasn’t in love with Veronique and she wasn’t in love with me either. I offended her pride by rejecting her. But you and I…we have so much more-’
Her throat ached. ‘Yeah…great sex.’
‘Zut alors…don’t talk like that, don’t try to talk down what we have.’
‘I’ve never forgotten the way you dumped me four years ago,’ she confided tightly. ‘You didn’t even have the grace to tell me. You let me come up to your family’s villa chasing after you-’
His black brows pleated. ‘When…when was that?’
‘The day I flew back home with my stepmother, Lisa. Veronique met me at the door. I had to face the humiliation of your very good friend telling me I’d been ditched and that you were going to have to change your mobile phone number to shake me off!’
Christien took a hasty step forward and reached for both her hands. ‘Veronique had no right. She went behind my back. I never discussed you with her, nor would I have allowed her to speak to you in such a way. But at the time I did believe that you were seeing another guy,’ he reminded her. ‘I wasn’t expecting you to come to the villa-’
‘I don’t care. You hurt me then…and tonight you hurt and humiliated me again and I can’t forgive you…won’t forgive you!’ Tabby’s aching eyes were wide to ensure the gathering tears stayed out of sight and she didn’t trust herself to listen to his arguments in his own defence. He was downright gorgeous and she loved him, but just then she hated him too. Trailing her fingers free, she yanked the ring off her finger before she could lose her nerve and set it down on the console table beside her.
‘No…’ Christien grated.
Tabby fled upstairs. She wouldn’t let herself cry. She took a nightdress from her bedroom and stole across the corridor to Jake’s room where she knew she would not be disturbed. Distressed as she was, she was asleep within minutes of climbing into the twin bed next to her son’s. Around dawn she wakened and went for a shower to freshen up. Her head was sore. Too much champagne, just as Christien had said. The night before, she had been all drama and brave defiance. Now in the cold light of day she was trying to imagine what it would do to Jake if the promised wedding failed to take place. He was so excited. And it was not as if Christien were in love with Veronique. But what would it do to her to love Christien without return for years on end? It would humble her, damage her confidence.
The second time she wakened, she was back in her own bed and she sat up in bewilderment. His back turned to her, Christien was lodged by the windows, the curtains partially opened to let the sunlight flood into the elegant room.
‘I moved you in here because we have to talk,’ he breathed harshly.
‘No…I don’t know what to say to you-’
Christien swung round. The lines of strain grooved between his nose and mouth were matched by the brooding darkness of his gaze. ‘I should have asked you just to listen. I’ll do the talking.’
Tabby looped a straying strand of hair off her brow in an effort to hide that she was still reeling from the way events had overtaken them the night before.
‘That day four years back, when you tried to see me at the villa and Veronique spoke to you instead, I was probably drunk. After I’d dealt with the formalities of my father’s death and my mother shut herself away here demanding to be left alone, I spent the rest of that hideous week drunk.’
Green eyes huge, Tabby gaped at him because he had told her something she would never have suspected for herself, for he always seemed so much in control. ‘Perhaps I should’ve thought of that. Naturally you were having trouble coping-’
Christien dug lean hands into the pockets of his well-cut trousers. ‘It was getting by without you I was struggling to handle,’ he ground out in a driven undertone.
The silence stretched and
stretched.
‘Zut alors…I was planning to marry you and then I saw you with the biker and it all went pear-shaped on me. When our fathers died in that car accident, I wanted you,’ he bit out. ‘But pride wouldn’t let me have you, so I drank myself into a stupor to ensure I didn’t weaken.’
Tabby blinked. She was transfixed. He had been planning to marry her?
Christien shrugged a broad shoulder with something less than his usual grace. ‘I didn’t like feeling like that. I watched my mother sink into despair without my father. They had always been very close and for a while after his death she did not want to live without him. It was terrifying to watch. I decided I didn’t want to feel like that about any woman ever.’
‘I can understand that…’ Tabby mumbled, and yet she could offer nothing to match his unhappy experience.
Her stepmother had had shallow affections. Aside of a few noisy crying jags, the discovery that she was not as prosperous a widow as she had hoped had infuriated Lisa and ensured that her grief had been even more short-lived.
‘Were you serious when you said you were planning to marry me then?’ Tabby prompted hesitantly. ‘I mean, you were furious with me for lying about my age. How could you have been thinking about marrying me?’
‘How not?’ Clear dark golden eyes met hers in fearless acknowledgement. ‘I still wanted you. In the end that’s all it came down to.’
Still wanted her but much against his will, she translated. But she was still deep in shock. While being very moody and unsentimental about it, Christien was nonetheless giving her riveting information about what he had felt for her in the past. He was so tense, though, that she felt a sudden shout might shatter him to pieces and she was touched.
Christien expelled his breath in a slow, measured hiss. ‘Once you lied to me about your age because you didn’t want to lose me. In the same way I chose to hold fire on telling you that I was engaged to Veronique on terms that you would never understand. Why? I didn’t want to lose you.’
‘Didn’t you?’ Her voice felt all strangled inside her throat.
