I was ruminative person, my mind always preoccupied with thoughts, ideas, and memories. It was fortunate that Kami was more of a talker. It allowed me time for reflective thinking. While Kami offered her thoughts on my break up with Kian, I meditated on the time I’d spent with my friends, especially the few moments I had spent with Candice. I was heartbroken over her death. Candice had been a happy person and always had a big smile on her face. She lit up any room by simply gracing it with her presence. I envied her cheerful disposition, but also appreciated the brief moments of joy I felt around her. Candice had brought bright rays of sunshine into my life. Not wanting to invite in the sadness, I let the memories drift away and turned my attention to the conversation in front of me.
“Kian feels really bad about how everything ended between you two,” Kami said. She held the frosted mug of the chocolate milkshake she had ordered in her hands, tapping her nails on the glass.
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Please tell him not to worry. I’m okay with everything. I still care about him, but we are better off as friends.”
“I know. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. You were meant to be friends.” Kami slid the empty glass to the edge of the table as the waitress in the pink uniform and white apron came to get it.
“I think so too,” I agreed. “Just please tell him how bad I feel and how much I do care about him.”
“I will,” Kami promised.
I was happy that ending the relationship with Kian had not affected my friendship with Kami, and I was surprised how effortlessly Kian and I stayed friends. It saddened me at times though, that it didn’t work out. Kian was everything I could possibly ever want in a man, but I wasn’t destined to be with just any ordinary man. Even though I didn’t know at that time that someone more than ordinary could exist, Kian was just not the one for me.
“Analey, please cheer up,” Kami pleaded. “You have been so moody lately.” I could always count on Kami to tell me the truth no matter how brutal it might be. I had obviously failed to hide my true emotions from her.
“I know,” I sighed.
“Well, what’s wrong then?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I guess I’m just frustrated with myself and school,” I said, and it wasn’t a complete lie. It had been about four months since I’d left Havencrest Orphanage and college was always the plan. It was easy for Kami to believe that school was the culprit of my mood swings.
“But work is good?”
“Yeah I love working at the library.”
“So, Monday we go get you registered for the next semester.”
“Not that easy. I don’t have a car, remember.”
“It’s simple. You ride with me and Kian did offer to help with anything you may need. Anything.” Kami shot me a smile and a wink.
I had been alone all my life. I was good at being independent when I needed to be, so I knew I could make it on my own. Strength and determination were two of the benefits of being raised by the system. No one there to coddle and baby you. Some of the other orphans were not as fortunate. Some, once they were on their own, found love and acceptance in the hands of gangs, drug dealers, or flesh-peddlers. But I was the foolish one, looking for love in my dreams.
“Whoa look at the time,” Kami exclaimed. “I can’t believe we have been here this long.
I glanced at the watch on my wrist. “I should be going.” Although I had nothing pressing that required my attention.
“Kian is going to kill me if I’m late.” Kami stood and gave me tight hug.
“Tell him I said hello.”
“Yeah, and remember, me and you, Monday, registration.” Kami gently squeezed my shoulder.
I nodded. I was grateful for the friendship Kami and Kian so graciously extended, but I made it clear that was all I needed from them. They seemed to understand and accepted my request. I returned home and when night fell, everything I thought I knew vanished when my dreams returned.
I was walking along the beach. I didn’t know which one I was on or how I had gotten there, nor did I care. Like all the other dreams, I would fall asleep in my bed and simply wake up in some beautiful and peaceful place. The white sand sparkled in the moonlight and was silky underneath my bare feet. The cool night breeze and the salty sea air enveloped me, tempting all my senses. I was caught up in the bitter sweet fragrance of the sea and the reflection of the full moon dancing seductively with the rolling waves, that I didn’t see him.
He was walking along the shore, the water gently washing over his feet as it swept over the sand. He stopped walking and stood motionless several feet away from me, but I immediately recognized him. I had seen him before and the fear I felt at first sight moved on more quickly this time. We had met numerous times, often in the woods and once in a meadow. The places were always calm and carefree, and empty of any other person.
I was a bit unnerved about the uncanny familiarity of his presence. We walked carefully towards each other and I raised my hand to him. I wanted to be near him, to feel his skin (that was a shade lighter than true olive) and run my hand through his hair. He looked at me intently with his sultry brown eyes, as if he already knew me, though I was certain we had never met outside my dreams. Yet, I had the chilling awareness that I had gazed deeply into those eyes once before. A subtle smile touched his lips, tempting what was left of my already crumbling willpower. I let my arm fall back down to my side.
The night wind was cool as it gently caressed my skin. I reached up to him once more and closed my eyes, hoping that when I opened them, I would find him next to me. I imagined reaching for him and how his hands would feel under the sensitive nerve endings of my fingers, but when I looked up again, he was gone.
I looked around, my heart beating franticly in my chest as I searched for him, but I was back in my own room. Of course, it had been just another dream, but it felt like something more. It was, like the others, magical but impossible and I wanted to never awaken from them. During our brief time together, his warm eyes captured me, and his enchanting scent mesmerized me. His allure was overwhelming and made me feel emotions and sensations I had never imagined I could feel. My rational mind told me he wasn’t real, but my foolish heart whispered otherwise. I let myself hold on to the emotions I felt. They stayed with me long after I’d woken up. I allowed myself to believe, if only for a moment that something magical could exist. I fantasized that maybe I wouldn’t be alone forever.
The dreams continued for many nights and I gladly welcomed them. I saw the mysterious man almost every night after the first time. The dreams were consistent in time but not space. The places I dreamt about were unlike any place I’d ever seen, unique and surreal. They reminded me of lands that were too perfect to exist in the real world. These lands were saturated with colors and scents not known to man. The oceans were bright blue and crystal clear. The purple-tinted waves illuminated as they rolled over the white sand of the silky shores. In the forests, the trees were grand and full of radiant green leaves. The earth below the trunks was rich in color and scent. The fresh fragrant spring meadows were adorned with white daisies and Eden-green grass that complimented the jewel blue skies. It was all a fantasy and I would lose all sense of reality in the utopia of this world. I was consumed with want for these mystical places as I was for the perfect stranger who seemed to inhabit them. I craved to hear his voice and learn more about him, even if he existed only in my dreams. At night I dreamt about him and during the day I lost myself in daydreams. His face filled my mind and I could feel the fervor of his cognac brown eyes on me all the time. They reminded me of the earth, warm browns mixed with lighter shades of olive green. Subtle hues of light just bright enough to shine through the dark. I saw in them strength and tenderness, excitement and sadness; when I gazed into his eyes, I saw passion that wrapped around me, making me feel I had finally found where I truly belonged.
Heartbreaking grief overcame me with the truth: he was but only a painful fantasy. I felt foolish for thinking and feeling the way
I did, but still I paid attention to everyone around me, searching for him in everyone I saw. But he was never there. I wasn’t sure if the nights with him were a dream or the days without him a nightmare. Before him I’d only had nightmares of terrifying attacks and a young woman lying in the street dying as the rain poured down on her. I had begun to dismiss the nightmares as my overworked imagination from reading too many scary stories, but then Candice was attacked, and the coincidences were too close to dismiss. I once asked Kami if she believed in the supernatural like witches, werewolves, or vampires.
“I believe anything is possible,” Kami had answered nonchalantly. I never brought the subject up again sensing her skepticism. My nightmares ceased once the perfect stranger entered my life. It was a daft situation, but foolish or not I was relieved to be free from my nightmares.
It had been a long week working at the library. There were some renovations that had just been completed and putting the building back together was an immense job. Darcy had asked everyone to work overtime and had hired some boys from the high school football team to help with the heavy lifting. By the end of the week I was ready to retire from the business; I was exhausted. I laid down and tried to sleep as thunder rumpled in the distance promising to send a down pour of water to saturate the land. As tired as I was, I expected to collapse as soon as my head hit the pillow.
At first, I thought I was still awake, but I was still in my room and the darkness was thicker. Lightening flashed, sending its light into my room. I got up and looked around; I was not outside in some fairytale land. I walked toward the door leading to the hallway and from the corner of my eye, I thought I saw the blur of a moving figure. I turned in that direction, but no one was there. I didn’t know what to do. Something was calling me, pulling me like a magnet towards the dark shadow. Instead, I hurried back to my bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin, scanning my bedroom.
Stay away from him, a whisper came from somewhere in the dark. The disembodied voice sent a chill down my spine; I recognized it, but I was afraid to call out to her. It was absurd, Candice had died the night she was attacked. It couldn’t be her, yet it was her voice. I was sure of it. At first, I thought it was in my head, but the sound had come from the corner next to the window.
“Candice?” I called out. I waited for her to answer but only the howl of the wind answered. I heard a whooshing sound and I fumbled with the bedside lamp. The dim light spilled out in a cone shape beam illuminating the area five feet from the table where it sat.
A scream caught in my throat and my heart skipped a beat. A pair of red eyes glimmered from the corner then disappeared. I shut my eyes closed and waited for it to attack.
I opened my eyes and the spring morning air was blowing in through the open window in my bedroom. I didn’t remember leaving it open last night. In fact, I didn’t remember much of anything. I recalled working late to finish arranging the bookshelves at the library, coming home and going to sleep. I didn’t have any dreams of the mysterious stranger and no nightmares. Yet, something tugged at the back of my mind, but I couldn’t grasp it. I checked the time on the clock on the nightstand. It was 8:30 in the morning. I was due at school in an hour. I had decided to move ahead with school and scheduled a meeting with the Career Advisor the week before like Kami suggested. I was going to have to hurry if I wanted to get there on time. Pushing away the nagging feeling that I was missing something, I went into the bathroom and started the shower. The hot water streamed down from the showerhead and gurgled down the drain while I went to the closet to get my clothes. I hurried through my shower, got dressed, and brushed through my wet hair.
The bus ride to the campus wasn’t long, but it gave me time to think about the guy from my visions. I watched the people on the bus closely and paid attention to their conversations. If he was someone I had met in Shadowmist, then maybe I would see him again, but I didn’t see anyone resembling him. I did notice a familiar girl in the seat across from me. I couldn’t recall her name, but I did remember the name of the boy sitting next to her. Vincent had a faraway look in his eyes and the girl kept her head down.
“Hey, its Vincent, right?” I asked. “Do you remember me?”
“He doesn’t remember much.” The blonde girl looked up at me and shook her head.
I leaned forward towards them and asked, “What happened?”
“I told him not to go in there, but he said a dare was a dare and he had to do it.”
“The Vanishing Woods,” I said.
“He doesn’t even remember going in,” the girl replied, looking away from me to Vincent. He kept his gaze straight ahead, looking at nothing in particular.
I hadn’t believed the story before, but I could now see in their eyes that it was all very real.
“He remembers me, but sometimes he still forgets,” the girl whispered with tears in her eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” I said as the bus came to a stop.
The girl held Vincent’s hand, led him down the steps and off the bus. I watched them walk away as the bus slowly moved forward. At the next stop, I got off and made the short walk from the bus stop to the school with Vincent and the Vanishing Woods on my mind.
thirteen
Six large columns and a set of wide steps led up to a white stone building with gold colored metal plates framing the glass doors. Dubbed Shadow Manor, it was once the mansion of Shadowmist’s founder Arthur Mist. The structure sat at the center of Ocean Mist University and was the location of Admissions, Financial Aid, and Career Center offices for the school.
I walked in, gawking at the rich architecture of the polished parquet floors and arched doorways. Elegant crystal chandeliers dripped down like frozen rain drops from the ornate ceilings. Behind Shadow Manor, through rounded glass doors, a French style garden provided students with a place to relax and study. A peristyle, or covered colonnade flanked one side of the garden and a row of fountains enclosed the opposite side. I continued down a capacious corridor, lined with golden trimmed walls and floors, to the guidance counselor’s office. The name plate on the wall read RUSSELL GIBSON. I looked in through the open door and saw a slender man with short black hair and deep brown eyes. The 40-year-old man was tall and had a nice smile.
“Please, come in,” he said when he saw me standing in the doorway.
I stepped in and waited to be invited to take a seat. “I’m Analey Rose,” I said and extended my hand out to him.
“Russell Gibson. Please have a seat.” Mr. Gibson stood to shake my hand then sat back down.
He mapped out my first two semesters at Ocean Mist, advised me on where to go to complete financial aid, and set a tentative date to return to him and reevaluate my schedule.
“Do you have any questions or concerns?” Mr. Gibson asked.
“No sir, not at this time. But thank you for taking the time to get me started,” I said.
Mr. Gibson stood and nodded. “Anytime. I’m here if you do think of anything.”
The meeting ended just before lunch and I ran into Kami as I was exiting Shadow Manor.
“Hey, how was your meeting? Get any good advice?” Kami asked.
“Yeah, I learned about some grants and which classes I should start with next month when I register for the fall semester,” I said.
“Yay,” Kami cheered, hooking her arm through mine as we walked across the lush lawn towards the parking lot. “I’ll give you a ride home.”
“Sure, that would be great.”
Kami clicked her key fob and the doors to her car unlocked. I pulled open the door and climbed inside, putting my bag down on the floor at my feet.
“Do you have any plans for tonight?” Kami asked as she drove back to my apartment.
I thought it would be nice to hang out. I could use some real company. Hanging out with an imaginary guy was a little depressing, not to mention pathetic. I was about to accept her offer when I saw him. We had just pulled up to the garden across the way from my apartment building. Bright orange cones
and “men at work” signs blocked the parking spaces in front of the main entrance to the building. I kept my eyes on him as I grabbed my bag and stepped out of the car, afraid he would vanish the moment I took my eyes off him. He was leaning against the brick wall, his strong arms crossed in front of his chest. I stopped breathing and just stared at the sight across the street.
“Analey, are you okay?” You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I’m fine,” I said keeping my gaze on him. I felt both scared and excited to see him standing there, but when I took one step towards him, he disappeared. All I wanted was to run to where he had been, but my feet were heavy and wouldn’t budge. It was as if he had never been there. I considered that maybe it had been my imagination, but I was sure it was really him.
It had to be him.
My heart wouldn’t let me believe otherwise, and now he was gone.
“I’m sorry Kami, but actually I don’t feel so good.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. Physically I was fine but emotionally I was devastated, and mentally I was confused. “I just need to get home and get some rest.” Dream is what I meant, but I wasn’t about to say that out loud to Kami.
“Okay, sure. I understand. Hope you feel better,” she said.
I thought I heard a touch of disappointment in Kami’s voice, but I chose to ignore it. “Thanks Kami. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I walked the rest of the way to my apartment, feeling foolishly for letting this absurd obsession get the best of me. I was almost sure he wasn’t real, but I held on to that small shred of hope. I didn’t understand why I was so desperately holding on to something when there was nothing to hold on to. I felt stupid as I tried to comprehend what I was feeling. I was a rational and sane person, but lately all I thought I knew about myself was quickly unraveling.
I busied myself trying to clear my mind as I carried a load of laundry to the downstairs facility I shared with the other tenants. I dumped the clothes into the washing machine and headed back up to my apartment to wait for the washer to complete its cycle. I sat on the couch staring absentmindedly at the television screen. I made an honest effort to not think about him but failed miserably. Half an hour later, I returned to the basement as the rinse cycle was ending. I moved my clothes from the washer to the dryer and once again returned to my apartment. I turned off the television and sat on the couch daydreaming until I dozed off.
Edge of Forever: The Death and Life of Analey Rose (The Immortal Souls Book 1) Page 10
