I entered the library and gawked at the beauty of the room. Shelves lined every inch of the nine-foot high walls and books filled each shelf. They were all perfectly organized by category and author. I spent a few minutes finding the genre I was in the mood for and then chose a book. The stories of mystery and macabre of Edgar Allen Poe were what I’d been craving, and I found a complete set of his works, probably some of his original books. My eyes went to an old worn copy of Tamerlane and other Poems. I opened the literary treasure and began reading. As I made my way through the collection, I came upon a selection titled, A Dream Within a Dream.” Intrigued by the poem, with which I was familiar, I asked myself the same question.
Am I living in a dream within a dream? I asked myself.
“The heart is an unbelievable traitor.” I was so deep in thought that I didn’t hear the lithe footsteps of Sophia as she entered the library.
I turned to face Mikel’s mother. Her hazel eyes were soft and warm as she looked down at the book in my hands.
“Once you’ve made up your mind about the love of your life, the heart betrays you and opens itself to another love,” Sophia continued, as she sashayed along one of the bookshelves. Her voice was soft and smooth like a beautiful melody.
I assumed Sophia was referring to Mikel and me, but she spoke with the authority of one who had experienced the confused emotions firsthand. “I’ve never been surer and more unsure of anything,” I confessed.
Sophia came back to where I was and held my hand in both of hers. She took a breath and looked down at my hand. She lifted her head
and met my eyes, raising then quickly lowering her eyebrows. “My son can be ruthless, but you’ve known that for some time now and still you love him. You have always loved him.”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” I said as I pulled my hand away.
“Ignore your mind, quiet your heart, but heed your soul, for only it knows your true destiny.” Sophia walked out before I could reply.
I pondered over Sophia’s counsel. My heart was just as confused as my mind and my soul had been silently at war with me. I returned my attention to the book in my hand. I turned the page carefully and as I did a fragile page fell from the book. It was folded in half and had turned a pale yellow from age. I unfolded the paper and read the words written on it. It was from the same author but from a different collection of Poe’s works. I read each line aloud.
When wit, and wine, and friends have met.
And laughter crowns the festive hour.
In vain I struggle to forget.
Still does my heart confess thy power and fondly turn to thee!
But Octavia, do not strive to rob my heart of all that soothes its pain.
The mournful hope that every throb will make it break for thee!
As I read the final line of the poem, I realized I may never forget the one for whom my heart throbbed and broke.
Cold hands around my waist startled me from my thoughts. I replaced the poem into the book and put it on a nearby table.
“You’re so beautiful,” Mikel whispered, no longer distracted by his blood lust.
I turned to face him and all I wanted at that moment was to love the one I was with, the one who claimed to love me. With perfection as mesmerizing as Mikel’s, I doubted it would be difficult; he did have a part of my heart. I looked deep into his intense gaze and saw him as I had in my dreams. Mikel bent down, caressed my lips with his and kissed me with all his love.
In vain I struggle to forget, still does my heart confess thy power and fondly turn to thee, I thought as I let myself melt into Mikel’s kiss. He kissed the top of my head and led me upstairs then outside to the balcony off his bedroom. It was a large veranda with round columns supporting the high ceiling. The polished floor reflected the light of the moon, creating dramatic shadows on the ground and walls. I stood near the banister resting my hands on the stone half-wall, gazing at the stars that filled the night sky.
“Where do you think he is?” I wondered. I imagined Aloes hiding in the dark, waiting for the opportune time to make his move.
Mikel slid his hands around my waist, resting his head on mine. “I won’t let anyone hurt you,” he said. I wanted to believe him, but his voice was filled with uncertainty.
“I’m scared,” I confessed out loud for the first time. “I don’t understand why all this is happening to me.” I blinked the tears away.
“I know, it’s not fair. You don’t deserve any of this,” Mikel said, “but I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe.” He hugged me tighter and I didn’t want him to let go.
That was what I feared the most, losing Mikel in the process of saving my life. I thought for a split second that maybe it would be best if I did surrender my powers to Aloes, ending the terrible war before it could begin. Everyone I’d ever cared about was pulled in to my nightmare, but I did have the chance to save them all.
thirty~ five
Through the stillness of the night, I slept in Mikel’s arms, feeling safe for the first time since leaving Havencrest Orphanage. As I let myself relax in his arms, I felt a headache coming on from trying to make sense of everything. I decided to let it all go for the moment and that’s when something strange shook through my mind.
Suddenly, I had the intense desire to get away from Mikel. I pulled myself out of his embrace, his brown eyes wide in surprise.
“Analey?” he asked.
“Kill!” a voice inside my head shouted. I shook my head trying to get it out. The darkness had erupted stronger than ever.
Mikel was talking to me, but I could only hear the voice inside my head demanding that I attack and kill Mikel. I denied its command; I couldn’t hurt him. The darkness that had been lying dormant within me was pounding to get out. I realized monsters didn’t always hide under beds or in closets. Sometimes the worst monsters were much closer. I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the evil thoughts exploding in my head. There was no way I could obey the senseless commands to kill Mikel, but my body was shaking with rage. It was my voice, but it sounded strange and unfamiliar. I had never wanted to hurt anyone the way I wanted to hurt Mikel and the other vampires at that moment.
My heart was beating rapidly in my chest; my breath going in and out was fast and labored. Crouched and ready to attack, my hands balled into tight fists, I narrowed my eyes on my target.
“Analey, please. Just listen to my voice. You can fight this,” Mikel said.
But I couldn’t fight it. It was stronger than me. The panic that rose in me as I realized what I was about to do overpowered the urge to do it. With that small sliver of doubt, I heard another voice, deep and strong. Larson was inside my head begging me to calm down. My first instinct was to ignore it; he was one of them. But his voice was unrelenting in its pleading with me. I understood it wasn’t Larson disputing with the voice in my head. The rational part of me was using his voice to snap me out of the insanity that had taken over me. I listened to myself---the real me and not the monster---and composed myself.
I dropped to my knees in defeat, relaxing my hands and slowing my breathing. The room was spinning, and my head was throbbing. I blacked out as I used all my energy to regain control of myself.
When I regained consciousness, the bright sun was shining through the window as it was making its way up the morning sky and Mikel was in the bed next to me. He had one arm bent over his head and the other one was around my shoulders, cradling me. Memories of the night before poured over me in nauseating waves. I tried to sit up, but any movement made me dizzy. I sighed and took a deep breath.
“Rest,” Mikel demanded softly. He leaned over me and smiled. I smiled back and obeyed.
Hours later, I was fully awake and rested. The dazed feeling was gone, but the memories were fresh on my mind. I couldn’t explain or understand what had happened, but Mikel seemed aware of it all.
I lifted my weary body out of bed and stood up. I was a little unsteady, but the vertigo had passed. Leaning my he
ad against the wall, I tried to apologize but somehow the word sorry was not the correct sentiment for what I’d almost done.
“Ma vie, you have nothing to worry about. I’m okay and you are too.” Mikel lightly stroked my cheek with his fingers. He moved my hair back behind my neck, letting his touch linger there for a moment before moving his hand down my arm. A tingling rush of heat moved through my body sending shivers down my spine.
I looked at him, trying to read what was hiding deep in his eyes. My thoughts went back to the way I used to allow my eyes to trace over every detail of his face and body. Unwillingly, I looked away.
“I’m sorry,” I said apologizing again. I wanted to make some sense of what had happened and explain it to Mikel, but there were no words.
Mikel had one hand resting on my waist and he put his other one on the back of my neck, under the tangled mess of my hair. He pulled me in and delicately put his lips to mine. I didn’t move but closed my eyes. Gently and swiftly his lips were on mine, moving in perfect rhythm. Mikel pulled away first, a sigh leaving his lips as he did. I still felt the buzz of electricity as I walked over to sit down on the edge of the bed, my weak legs threatening to let me fall. I sat feeling exhilarated, confused, and ashamed.
I wanted to hate Larson for lying to me, for ruining my life. I wanted to hate him for making me feel. Mostly though, I hated myself for still thinking about him when I’d vowed to never forgive him. This wasn’t the person I’d raised myself to be. I lived in a world filled with hate and dishonesty. I wasn’t that, and yet I’d been deceiving and hurting those that loved me. I couldn’t forgive myself, but how could I walk away from Mikel or how could I forget Larson?
“What’s wrong?” Mikel asked.
I opened my mouth to express some half-truth when I heard a loud vibrating sound. It was coming from the drawer in the table next to the bed. I reached over and opened it. My cell phone lit up displaying Kian’s name on the screen. The phone went silent. I picked it up and saw I had several missed calls from Kian and a few from Kami.
“I want to talk to them,” I said.
“It’s too dangerous right now. No one can know where you are,” Mikel said. “We feel Aloes’ is close to finding you.”
“What?” I gasped. “How do you know?” My bottom lip trembled.
Mikel shut his eyes tight and swallowed. “Larson is here, he arrived late last night while you were sleeping.
“He must be mad coming here like this,” I said, the invisible cord pulling at my heart.
“Aloes suspected Larson had deceived him, so Larson went to see him. He tried to convince his father that you are not a threat to him, but Aloes is determined on continuing with his deadly plan.” Mikel rubbed the back of his neck. “Larson came to warn us.”
I had to face Larson, but I was afraid of how I would feel when I was face to face with him. I didn’t want to hurt Mikel, but there was more than vampire magic holding Larson and I together. If the connection could be or was ever severed, neither he nor I would survive it. I planned to meet Larson while Mikel and his family discussed what their next move should be.
I descended the stairs, gripping the wooden banister all the way down, my steps heavy and sluggish as if I were walking through thick mud. I stepped down into the sitting area off the foyer and continued straight through to the parlor with the white marble floors and stone fireplace. I held my breath as I reached the back door leading to the terrace. The door was closed, and as I put my hand on the handle, I felt afraid of what I might find. I stepped outside and instantly, I felt the tension.
He was standing with his back to me and even from there he was painfully beautiful. I had to take a deep breath and remind myself of all he had done to me. Larson turned, his green eyes glowing with anticipation.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered moving towards me.
“I know,” I said, putting a hand up to stop him.
“I didn’t know what I was doing when I was with Aloes. I was born a monster, but you make me better,” he said.
“You did what you thought you had to do, but I can’t forget what it did to me. You wrecked me and I don’t know if I can ever forget that.”
“I can’t stop being the monster I am, but I can’t stop loving you either,” he said locking his eyes on mine as he took a step closer to me.
I felt suffocated in his presence and feared running back into his arms. I gave him one last look then turned on my heels to leave. I looked over my shoulder as he turned away. I stared at his back, wishing I could forget what he did or how I felt about him because even though he was a monster, I didn’t hate him. I turned back around and headed into the house.
“I need to be alone,” I told Mikel when he followed me up the stairs. I closed the door and fell to the floor sobbing. It had taken all my physical and emotional strength to walk away, but I had to stay strong. Larson was dangerous and would only hurt me again. It was too late to change what he’d done, and I could accept that. What I couldn’t accept was how I felt every time I saw him, every time I was near him, or every time I thought of him. I blamed the vampire venom, but it wasn’t any consolation.
It had to end.
When I made my way back down the clockwise curving stairs, I found Mikel in the kitchen, leaning over the counter. I waited by the doorway as I saw Larson coming in the back door.
Mikel saw him too and glared. “I understand you think you are in love with her, but I won’t let you get close enough to hurt her again.” His voice had never sounded so cold.
“She can decide for herself,” Larson spat at him.
They were talking about me like I wasn’t standing in the room and I despised the fact that they were fighting because of me. I stood with my arms crossed over my chest, waiting for them to finish their childish banter. When the last threat was made, it was my turn to speak.
“I’m not going to stand here while the two of you argue. We have bigger problems to worry about, but I won’t stay in this house if we can’t all get along,” I said making my own threats. “I will leave right now.”
“Fine,” Larson grumbled and walked out of the room.
“Analey, I’m sorry. I’ll try to avoid him as much as possible until all this is over,” Mikel said.
“Thank you,” I said and hugged him, putting my head on his chest.
Larson and Mikel had ill feelings towards each other fueled by jealousy and resentment. The two vampires were too stubborn to back down. Neither one would step aside unless I made a choice, but I couldn’t decide. I had made a commitment to Mikel and wanted to honor it, but it wasn’t fair for me to flaunt it around Larson. I didn’t owe him anything, but my heart disagreed. I had to put aside my personal feelings as I sensed a new danger ascending upon us. The darkness was spreading through me like wild fire, and I was uncertain if I wasn’t the danger. In some instances, I was the prey but then again, I was also the predator.
thirty~ six
The dead girl’s warning repeated in my head like a song stuck on repeat. Her voice had never sounded so grave. As the dream faded, I chased it, frantic.
Keep vigilant. The enemy will strike when the light yields to darkness.
Candice had appeared in my dreams again, warning me with a vague riddle. The enemy had to be Aloes but the part about the light yielding to darkness, was still a mystery. Kian’s face came to my mind as I pondered over the meaning of Candice’s words.
My phone. I thought to myself, then immediately cut my thoughts off before Larson heard them. I searched the nightstand drawers and found it hidden under some shirts. I pushed the power button, holding my breath as I hoped it still had some charge. It buzzed on and I looked for Kian’s number in the list of contacts.
I need to talk to you and Kami about Candice.
Call me.
I hit send as I heard heavy footsteps coming down the corridor. I hurried trying to hide the cell phone, but Larson caught me with it still in my hand.
“Analey, please understa
nd that your safety is my only concern,” Larson said holding his hand out gesturing for me to give him the phone.
I glared at him, refusing to give it up.
Larson stepped up to me and focused his eyes on mine. “Hand it over.”
“So now you’re using compulsion to force me to do what you say?” I fumed.
Larson drew his eyebrows together. “No, love. I would never compel you to do anything.”
I relinquished the phone and brushed past him. Mikel was standing outside the door as I stomped down the hall to the staircase. I heard his footsteps behind me but kept my eyes forward. The long corridor lined with large arched windows was always bright during the morning hours. I stopped and looked outside, and I noticed the sky was growing darker.
“Solar eclipse,” Mikel said from behind me.
“What?” I asked.
“Come away from the window. It’s not wise to stare at it.” Mikel held my hand, leading me down the stairs to the library where there was no direct view of the sun.
As the moon continued to move across the sun, obscuring its light, a booming sound pounded outside the castle door.
“Stay here,” Larson instructed as he rushed past the library on his way to the door with Mikel and Philip behind him.
I stayed in the room, leaning my head out the door catching a glimpse of Alexander as he hurried out the front door. Sophia materialized in the room with me, her hazel eyes focused as she secured the door. I backed up to the table using it to support me when I heard a swooshing sound, like air blowing through the window. I moved my eyes around the room and a blur of a figure rushed past me. I heard a cracking sound and Sophia’s body slumped to the ground; her neck broken.
“Sophia,” I cried running to her.
She would wake up soon, but it was awful seeing her on the ground with her head turned in an unnatural direction. I hurried to the door to get help but before I could get it open someone grabbed my arms and tied my hands behind my back.
Edge of Forever: The Death and Life of Analey Rose (The Immortal Souls Book 1) Page 27
