“I would die,” she said. “I don’t even want my mom to know I’ve ever had sex.”
“I don’t blame you,” I said. “Although your mom is so awesome, you know she’d be cool about it. My mom, however… not so much. My poor mother had no idea what to do with me.”
Brynn laughed. “Well, if you were having sex on the principal’s desk, I can see why.”
“Yeah, my older brother was always this really mellow guy,” I said. “He never got in trouble. Then I came along. I was an oops baby, so my parents didn’t see me coming from the beginning. I’m surprised they survived my teenage years.”
“Did they like Roland?” she asked.
“Yeah, they loved him,” I said. “I think they hoped he’d calm me down. Which he kind of did, eventually. Or maybe I calmed down on my own, I don’t know. I’m surprised your parents still speak to me after all the trouble I got Roland into.”
“My mom loves you,” she said. “You’re just one of her kids, now.”
I looked down into my coffee and smiled. It was true. I’d always felt like Shannon had adopted me into their family. And my gratitude that it hadn’t changed in the last four years was deeper than I could properly express.
“So, since we’re sharing,” Brynn said, “where did you sleep last night?”
I groaned. “Next door.”
“You mean, next door with my brother?” she asked.
“Yep.”
“On the couch, or in bed?” she asked.
“Nosy bitch,” I said, elbowing her. “In bed. Dressed. He did it to fuck with me, but the joke’s on him because I didn’t wake up and flip out like he thought I would.”
“Wait, Roland played a joke on you?” she asked. “I don’t think that’s actually my brother. He must be someone else who looks like him.”
I laughed, but it made me sad to hear her say that. She didn’t know Roland at all. Or maybe she did, and the Roland I’d known had been nothing but a phase.
“How’s that coffee treating you?” I asked. “Ready to try food?”
“Maybe?”
I patted her leg. “Let’s give it a shot. I know just the place.”
Twelve
Roland
Damn it, she was gone.
I’d gone to sleep looking forward to what’d she’d do this morning when she woke up with me. But she’d crept out while I was still asleep. I’d woken to the sound of her closing the front door. She’d been quiet—obviously trying to leave without waking me up—but I’d heard her.
Where did she have to go in such a hurry? It wasn’t like I was some stranger. I hadn’t taken her clothes off, just her shoes. She’d fucking puked in my bathroom while I held her hair, and she couldn’t even stay to thank me?
I wondered if it had anything to do with her douchebag not-boyfriend.
I glanced at the time. It was odd to have slept so late. I was always up early, even on weekends. But I’d slept better than I had in a long time. I didn’t want to think about why. It must have been having a warm body next to me. These guest cottages got cold at night.
I rolled over and caught a whiff of Zoe on my sheets. Instant erection. Fuck. I hated the way she still did that to me. I was not a horny teenager with no control over his dick. Those days were long over. As were my days of being turned on by Zoe.
Ex-wife, Roland. She’s your ex-wife. Emphasis on the ex part.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand. A text from Cooper.
Cooper: OMG so hungover. Need sustenance. Wanna come?
Me: Where?
Cooper: Ray’s Diner
Me: That place is still open?
Cooper: Ya. Best breakfast ever.
Cooper: Come with me. Chase being a dick and won’t.
Cooper: I need a breakfast buddy.
I shook my head. A breakfast buddy? Was he twelve? Although Ray’s Diner did have great breakfast, especially when you were hungover. Zoe and I had—
Nope. Didn’t matter who I’d been there with in the past. But their breakfast did sound good, so I texted Cooper that I’d meet him there.
Coop looked rough when I got to the diner. He wore a pair of aviator sunglasses and his hair was messier than usual.
“You look awful,” I said as I sat in the booth across from him.
“Shh. You don’t have to yell.”
“I’m not yelling,” I said. “I’m talking in a normal voice.”
“Oh my god, stop talking,” Cooper said, touching his temples.
“Have too much fun last night?” I asked, practically whispering.
“You could say that,” Cooper said. “That is the last time I play Never Have I Ever with hard liquor. But those assholes had it in for me. The game was rigged.”
“How do you rig Never Have I Ever?” I asked.
“By asking questions they know I’ll have to drink to. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.”
“Who were you with?” I asked.
“Just some friends,” he said. “No, wait. Ex-friends. Fuck those guys.”
The waitress came to our table holding a glass coffee pot. She looked to be in her fifties, with smile lines around her eyes and gray roots showing in her bleached blond hair. She looked familiar, and I wondered if she was the same waitress who’d worked here ten years ago when I’d been more of a regular.
Cooper grinned up at her as she filled our coffee mugs.
“Hey, Jo,” he said, whipping off his sunglasses. “You’re looking especially beautiful this morning.”
Jo grinned at him. “Thank you, sugarplum. You look like hell, but I’d still take you home with me.”
“Of course you would,” he said. “And it would be mind-blowing. We should really take our flirtation to the next level someday.”
“As if you could handle this much woman,” she said with a wink. “What can I get you, baby?”
“Jo, I feel like death warmed over and the only cure is your Sunday special,” he said.
“It’s not Sunday,” she said.
“Isn’t it? I lost track,” he said. “But please, Jo. If I ask really nice? What if I give you a back rub? It could be a sexy back rub. I’ll grind your ass while I do it. Trust me, it will be worth it. I give amazing back rubs.”
Jo appeared to be trying very hard to keep a straight face.
“Please, Jo,” Cooper said, sliding off the bench seat and dropping to his knees in front of her. “Do you want me to beg? I’m not too proud. I need what only you can give me.”
“Get up,” she said, a laugh finally escaping her lips. “One Sunday special.”
“You are a goddess,” Cooper said, getting back into the booth. “The sun rises and sets at your command, O gorgeous one.”
Jo rolled her eyes and looked at me. “Sunday special for you too, honey?”
“Sounds great,” I said, and she left to take our orders to the kitchen.
“Where’s Chase?” I asked.
Cooper slumped and slipped his glasses back on. “Home. He didn’t want to get up. I think his exact words were, let me die in peace, you asshole.”
The bell jingled as the door opened behind me. Cooper sat up straight and pulled his sunglasses off again, his face lighting up with a smile.
“Brynncess!”
I glanced over my shoulder. Our little sister Brynn came in, followed closely by Zoe. I should have known. They’d been drinking last night. Of course Zoe would have brought her here for a morning-after breakfast.
Zoe met my eyes and I regretted my decision to have her sleep at my place. Now it just felt awkward and weird. I should have let Ben take her home.
“Hey, Coop,” Brynn said. She looked as bad as Cooper.
“Brynncess, my baby sister,” he said. “Why didn’t you tell me you were in town?”
She rolled her eyes, hesitating at the booth behind us. I really hoped she and Zoe would sit there instead of with us.
“I only got here yesterday,” she said. “I was going to text you later. I’m just…
not feeling great.”
Zoe slid into the booth. She was right behind me, but that was fine. Better than next to me. Or worse, across the table where I’d have to avoid looking at her.
“What’s the matter?” Cooper asked. “You sick?”
“Um, no.” Brynn sat with Zoe. “I’m fine, Coop. I just need some breakfast.”
Cooper’s eyebrows drew in and he glanced at me, then back at the girls. “What are you doing way over there? Come sit.”
“I love you, Coop, but you’re a little much for me this morning,” she said. “Let me eat first.”
He slumped in his seat again and crossed his arms.
“Quit pouting,” I said. “She’s fine.”
“My best friend won’t get out of bed to have breakfast with me,” he said. “And my baby sister doesn’t want to sit with me. This is the most depressing day ever.”
I didn’t blame Brynn for wanting to sit behind us. Cooper was a lot to handle, and Brynn must have felt like shit after her night with Zo.
Jo brought our breakfasts—two huge plates piled high with eggs, hash browns, French toast, sausage links, and bacon—and Cooper gushed at her again, promising to marry her when he decided to settle down. Thankfully, the food seemed to distract Cooper from his pouting.
I ate in silence for a while. There wasn’t much need for me to talk—Cooper did enough of it by himself. He babbled between bites about everything—the winery, his vineyards, a movie he’d seen last week, the game of basketball he’d played with some friends. Apparently he still had it. I just nodded occasionally. I wasn’t used to this much Cooper-time.
Brynn’s voice behind me caught my attention. She was speaking softly, but I could still hear her.
“I just feel stupid, you know?” she said.
“Don’t,” Zoe said. “None of this is your fault. You need to get that through your head right now. Do not blame yourself for Austin being a douchebag.”
“I know,” Brynn said. “But how am I going to face everyone back at school? They’re all going to know.”
“Fuck them,” Zoe said. “All of them. If they judge you because of this, they’re shitty people and don’t deserve your time.”
I wasn’t trying to listen, but Cooper had miraculously quieted down, so it was impossible not to hear them. Austin must have been the guy who cheated on Brynn. God, I hated the idea of her having a boyfriend at school. And one who cheated on her? The idea of it made my blood run hot.
No one deserved to be cheated on—ever—but Brynn was so young. How old was she, now? Nineteen? Twenty? She must have turned twenty on her last birthday. Holy shit, that’s how old Zoe had been when we’d gotten married. Had we really been that young?
“Look,” Zoe said, “obviously Austin was not the love of your life. Think of him as a learning experience. We all have them.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Brynn said.
Was that what I was to Zoe? A learning experience?
“You’re young,” Zoe said. “You should be having fun right now. There’s no need for serious. Go back to school and have a fling or something. Get that jackass out of your system.”
Have a fling? That was the advice Zoe had for my little sister?
I shifted in my seat so I was partially turned around. “A fling?”
Brynn raised her eyebrows, and Zoe glanced back at me.
“What about a fling?” Zoe asked.
“That’s what you’re telling her to do?” I asked.
“Why not?” Zoe asked. “She’s a twenty-year-old woman who just suffered a breakup. A fling is a great way to get over someone.”
“Breakup?” Cooper asked, as if he’d suddenly realized the rest of us were still here. “Brynncess, did someone break up with you?”
“Cooper, it’s fine,” she said. “Don’t.”
Cooper got up and slid into the booth next to Brynn, but I wasn’t paying attention to them.
“How is that good advice?” I asked Zoe.
She turned so she was facing me, her eyes blazing. “Excuse me?”
“It’s a fair question,” I said. “You’re telling an impressionable girl—who has always looked up to you like you’re a rock star—to go be some guy’s fuck buddy for a while?”
“Okay, first, you said fuck buddy, not me,” she said. “Second, she’s a woman, not a girl.”
Cooper’s voice rose. “Brynncess, I will beat the shit out of that sniveling little punk.”
“Cooper, stop,” Brynn said.
I ignored Cooper, my eyes still on Zoe. “Regardless, just because you have some guy who gets in your pants without any commitment doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for Brynn.”
“Is that what this is about?” she asked. “I’ve already told you, Van is none of your business.”
“No, who you sleep with is definitely none of my business,” I said. “We are in complete agreement there. But it is my business when you start putting shitty ideas in my sister’s head.”
“Seriously?” she asked. “You haven’t seen Brynn in a year and a half, and suddenly you think you get to worry about her?”
“She’s my fucking sister, Zoe.”
“And she’s not mine?” Zoe asked. “I’m not a Miles anymore, so I don’t get to be the one to help her through a crisis? That’s bullshit, Roland. You can’t waltz in here and act like you have all the answers when you don’t even give a shit.”
Her words stung—a lot. A hot ball of anger coiled in my gut.
“How the fuck would you know what I care about?” I asked. “This is my family. Of course I give a shit.”
“Could have fooled me,” she said.
What the hell had just happened? How did we go from my sister having a fling to Zoe throwing my relationship with my family in my face?
“This isn’t about me,” I said.
“I thought everything was about you,” she said.
“Why the fuck are we fighting about this?” I pulled out my wallet and tossed some money on the table. I needed to get out of here. “Don’t tell my sister to do stupid shit.”
“Um, the sister is right here and can probably decide for herself what is and isn’t stupid,” Brynn said.
I just grunted as I got up and slipped my wallet into my pocket. “You’re welcome for cleaning up your vomit last night.”
I didn’t wait for Zoe’s reply. Just stalked out the door, my heart pounding against my ribs.
Thirteen
Roland
Whatever. Forget it, I have to go to work.
~Text from Roland, four years ago
I spent the next week basically in seclusion. I went from the cottage to the office and back again. Ate when I needed to. Slept at night. And worked.
My CEO was fine with me telecommuting for a while, but I had at least three conference calls a day. I worked a full day for my real job, then turned my attention to Salishan. It kept me up late most nights, but at least I successfully avoided everyone.
Brynn went back to school. Or at least, I assumed she did. Her car wasn’t outside anymore, and the guest cottage next door was once again empty. I caught glimpses of Cooper a few times, but he was busy with his own responsibilities. My mom tried to talk me into having dinner with her and Dad, but I made up an excuse. I didn’t want to deal with him. Leo was even more of a recluse than I was. I tended to forget he was around, he so rarely came out.
And then there was Zoe.
She was around, all right. She had to be, because my fucking parents employed her. That had never bothered me before, but hearing her coming and going—her footsteps, her office door—left me constantly on edge. I didn’t like fighting with her—I never had—but I didn’t know why it mattered, now. Why I couldn’t just do what I needed to do and quit thinking about her?
Besides, were we really fighting? That implied something that was ongoing. As it was, we’d argued, I’d gotten pissed, and I’d left. That meant it was over. It wasn’t like we had a relationship to repair. I wasn’t sleep
ing on the couch because my wife was mad at me.
No, I was sleeping on sheets that still smelled like her.
Fuck.
Friday night, the sun had gone down before I realized how late it was. I’d eaten a quick dinner at my desk earlier, but it felt like I looked up and suddenly it was ten-thirty.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and stretched my back. This chair was shit. If I’d known I’d be here for so long, I would have ordered a better one. At this point, it probably didn’t matter. I was on the verge of just walking away from the whole place, anyway. Booking a flight back to San Francisco and leaving this mess to my father. I knew that would put my mom in a bad place, but my dad pushed back against every suggestion I made. I didn’t know if I’d be able to help more than I already had.
Regardless, I was done for the day. I closed things down and headed outside.
I found Cooper leaning against his truck. He looked up at me and a shit-eating grin crossed his face.
“It emerges from its den,” Cooper said, adopting a terrible Australian accent. “The corporate executive is rarely seen this early in the evening, preferring instead to remain hunched over a laptop until the wee hours of the morning.”
“Hilarious,” I said.
He laughed. “I know, I’m fucking hysterical. What are you up to tonight? Wait, never mind. I already know the answer. You’re working.”
“I was,” I said. “You going out tonight? Or heading home?”
“Neither, man, I have shit to do.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and glanced at the screen before putting it back. “Just waiting to hear from Chase.”
“What shit do you have to do on a Friday night?” I asked. “Especially with Chase? Picking up girls or something?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes, yeah. But we have a more important mission tonight.”
“Mission?” I asked. “Does this have anything to do with Brynn’s boyfriend at school?”
“Nah,” he said. “Leo and I already took care of that.”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing permanent,” he said, his voice casual. “Just fucked with him a little bit.”
Broken Miles Page 9
