I’d also overheard Roland telling Cooper that he had a flight home tomorrow. The wave of disappointment that had hit me was nothing short of ridiculous. Just because I was getting used to seeing Roland around all the time didn’t mean I should want him to stay. It shouldn’t matter to me if he came or went. It wasn’t like it was a surprise. The only surprising thing in this entire situation was the fact that he’d been here as long as he had.
Actually, that wasn’t true. The surprising thing was how much my stupid body wanted to get naked with him.
I blamed the tequila. If I hadn’t spent the night sleeping in his bed, I wouldn’t have been subjected to his stupidly delicious smell.
Every time I saw him, I had visions of him fucking me. Not memories. I had plenty of those to draw from, but this was different. This was now. And I did not know how to deal with it. My stupid hormones were driving me up the wall. It wasn’t just the fact that it had been a while since I’d had anything between my legs that wasn’t battery-operated. I’d been insanely attracted to Roland since we’d met so long ago, and somehow our history—and all those goddamn feelings—weren’t enough to keep me from still being insanely attracted to him.
I was an idiot, and it was good he was leaving. That’s what I kept telling myself, anyway.
I closed my laptop and grabbed my things, ready to get out of here for the day. I just needed to leave a note for the front desk before I headed home.
Downstairs, all was quiet in the lobby. I went behind the front desk to leave my note, pasting the sticky note to the monitor.
The front door whooshed open and I glanced up. Lawrence stalked through the lobby without looking in my direction. He seemed angry, but it was hard to tell with him. He always looked like someone had spit in his food.
A few seconds later, Cooper pushed the front door open with his usual bravado. He paused to stomp his boots on the mat outside. I wondered how long it had taken Shannon to get him to do that. Probably twenty years—minimum.
His face broke into a wide smile when he saw me.
“Hey, Zoe-bowie,” he said. “You working late tonight? It’s quiet in here if you are.”
“No, I’m on my way out.”
“Is my mom over here?” he asked.
“She was,” I said. “She was doing staff training earlier in the small tasting room. Your dad came in a second ago, so she’s probably still back there.”
“Perfect. So how are you? Are your needs being met?” He started down the hall, still talking, so I followed. “We both know you did the right thing. But I recognize the situation you’re now in, and believe me, I sympathize. If I ever had to go too long without getting laid, I’m sure it would send me down a spiral of incessant dick-wanking. Because, let’s be honest, cranking the love pump gets the job done, but it’s not an equivalent. I think it’s about a two to one ratio, don’t you?”
Before I could answer—sometimes it took a second to process everything Cooper said at any given time—he opened the door to the tasting room.
“Lawrence, I know you’re having an affair.”
Shannon’s voice hit me, and it felt like someone had kicked the air out of my lungs. Cooper froze next to me, and the room went horribly silent.
Shannon stood behind the counter, her face alarmingly calm, given what she’d just said. Roland stood nearby, his arms crossed, his eyes on his dad. Lawrence looked like he’d just walked into an ambush. His face was still, but a red flush crept across his skin and his eyes were wide.
I was not supposed to be here.
“Shannon, let’s go home and talk,” Lawrence said.
“No,” she said. “You’re going to tell me the truth, and you’re going to do it now.”
Lawrence glanced around the room. “We need to talk in private.”
“They’re our children,” Shannon said. “You did this to them, too.”
“But Zoe is—”
“Stop deflecting,” Shannon said. “Tell me what’s going on.”
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so uncomfortable. I swallowed hard and risked a glance at Roland. His eyes flicked to me, his face unreadable. He couldn’t want me here to witness this. I wanted to shrink down and slink out of the room, hoping no one would notice. But Cooper slipped his hand in mine and squeezed. God, this was really happening.
“All right, fine,” Lawrence said. He widened his stance and crossed his arms—didn’t get much more defensive than that. “Yes, I was seeing someone.”
The anger that flashed in Shannon’s eyes sent a zing of fear through me. I’d never seen her look so angry, yet so disturbingly calm at the same time.
“Who is she?” Shannon asked. “And how long has this been going on?”
“Do we really have to do this here?” Lawrence asked.
“Yes, we do,” Shannon said. “Who is she and how long have you been seeing her?”
Lawrence sighed, but kept his defensive posture. “Her name is Kristen, and I met her six or seven months ago.”
“Is she the only one?” Shannon asked.
“Yes,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. His put-out attitude made me want to punch him in the face. I couldn’t imagine how Shannon was feeling. “Just her.”
“Have there been others?” Shannon asked.
Lawrence worked his jaw, and for a second, I thought he was going to refuse to answer. “Yes, there have. But, honey, I’m ending things with Kristen. It was a mistake on my part, but it’s over now. I know, I shouldn’t have. But I’m under a lot of pressure, and things here are so tense. I got carried away and let things go too far.”
“Was that supposed to be an apology?” Shannon asked.
“I’m just saying, I know I was wrong,” Lawrence said. “Let’s go home and talk privately so we can work this out. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. You can track my phone, read my emails. Whatever you need.”
Shannon’s brow knitted together, and she looked at Lawrence like he was either crazy, or very stupid. Maybe she was trying to decide which.
“Is that a joke?” she asked. “Because you cannot look at me after more than thirty years of marriage and four children and say you’re under pressure and things are tense, therefore you had a goddamn affair. That does not make it okay.”
“I realize that,” he said.
“No, I don’t think you do,” she said. “Those children and this business are the reason I’ve stood by you all these years. I didn’t want to break up our family, and I didn’t know who would run things if you left. And that was the stupidest mistake I’ve ever made. I still don’t know how I’m going to avoid losing Salishan. But I’m not letting this continue another second.”
“Shannon—”
“No,” she said, her voice cracking like a whip. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. You betrayed me in the worst way imaginable. You betrayed your family—your children. And I’m not having it. You have thirty minutes to clear your things out of my house. I want you gone.”
“I’ve been running this place for years,” Lawrence said. “You can’t just throw me out.”
“Yes, she can,” Roland said. His voice was low and dangerous, sending a chill up my spine.
“We need to talk about this,” Lawrence said.
“Get out,” Shannon said. “Now.”
Cooper drew me closer and put an arm around my shoulders. I slipped mine around his waist and gave him a squeeze, hoping to offer what little comfort I could. I wondered how drunk I’d have to get him later to deal with this insanity. Roland’s gaze was fixed on Lawrence, his face all hard lines. I had no doubt he’d drag his father out of here physically if he had to.
Lawrence’s eyes swept around the room again, his jaw clenched. We all stayed silent. I could hardly breathe. Finally, Lawrence stomped out and down the hall. A second later, I heard the front door open and close.
Cooper let me go and rushed around the bar, scooping his mom into his arms. She rested her head against chest and
hugged him. Roland let out a long breath and rubbed the back of his neck.
I almost wanted to cry. Or maybe follow Lawrence outside and kick the shit out of him. Shannon was a better person than me. If I’d have been in her shoes, I wouldn’t have given him a chance to get his stuff. I’d have piled it in front of the house and had a big fucking bonfire.
Roland walked around the bar to join Cooper with his mom. They both spoke softly to her, murmuring that everything was going to be all right. Shannon’s calm finally broke, and tears streamed down her cheeks.
I was once again overcome with the feeling that I shouldn’t be here. I’d witnessed something horribly personal—the destruction of a family. It had hurt when I’d left Roland, but at least there hadn’t been children involved. Even though they were adults, I knew this was going to be hard on the Miles kids. Shannon was right; their father had betrayed them all. Hell, even I felt betrayed, and he wasn’t my dad. But I’d worked for him for years, and I loved this family like they were my own.
My heart ached for all of them.
Roland looked over at me, and I desperately wished I knew what he was thinking. Wished I knew what to do. Did he want me to leave? Stay and help? I wondered whether I should call Brynn. But they probably wanted to. She was their sister.
His eyes held mine for a long moment. I gave a subtle nod toward the door, indicating I was going to go. They needed to have their moment. Help their mom. Roland nodded in return, whether in acknowledgment that I should leave, or in thanks, I couldn’t tell.
I slipped out the door, feeling sick to my stomach. Instead of leaving, I went upstairs to my office. I figured I’d stick around for a while in case any of them needed me. For what, I didn’t know. There wasn’t anything I could do. But it felt wrong to go home.
Plus, I knew I couldn’t be trusted to see Lawrence and not cut off his balls. Best wait until I was sure he was gone before venturing outside.
I sank down into my chair and stared at my desk, not really seeing anything. Shannon was undoubtedly heading for a divorce, and it was going to change everything. Salishan could get along for a while without someone at the helm. Roland had already done a lot to get things on track again. But he was leaving tomorrow. And what was going to happen long term? This place was Shannon’s life. It was Leo and Cooper’s life, too.
And mine, for that matter. But at the end of the day, I wasn’t a Miles.
I lost track of time as I sat in my office, contemplating what had just happened. My phone buzzed, startling me. I had a text from Cooper.
Cooper: You okay?
Me: Yeah, but are YOU?
Cooper: No. But I will be. Gonna head home in a few and blow off some steam.
Me: Where’s your mom?
Cooper: Roland got her a room at the Lodge for tonight.
Me: Does Leo know?
Cooper: Yeah. He was monitoring the security feeds to make sure Dad left.
Cooper: I offered to come over so we could drink our faces off, but he said no.
Cooper: Told me to fuck off and go home.
Cooper: He’s really very rude.
Cooper: But I don’t think he means to be.
Cooper: We all have our own ways of coping.
Me: That’s true. Did someone call Brynn?
Cooper: Mom did. She’s on her way. Going to stay with Mom at the hotel.
Me: Good. Sounds like everyone is squared away.
Cooper: Mostly.
Cooper: See u tomorrow.
Me: What do you mean mostly?
I waited, but Cooper didn’t answer. I was glad he was going home to his best friend. I knew Chase would have his back. It probably meant they’d get shit-faced tonight, but I couldn’t blame them. That was probably what I was going to do when I got home.
But why had Cooper said mostly? Had he been talking about Roland?
I wasn’t exactly the best person to offer Roland comfort. He was my ex-husband, after all. That had to be weird. We’d gotten divorced, and now his mom was facing the same thing. Albeit for very different reasons. Roland and I had always been faithful to each other. I hadn’t even gone on a date until the divorce was final. I wasn’t going to judge anyone else for dating while they were separated, or while a divorce was going through. But it hadn’t felt right to me, so I’d waited.
But I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was downstairs—alone. How I knew, I couldn’t be sure. He could have left. It was that sense of him I always had, like his presence had an aura I could feel. He was down there, stewing. Probably with a headache.
I opened a drawer and fished out a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels. Yeah, I kept a bottle of whiskey in my desk at work. Walk a mile, then judge. I grabbed a couple of plastic cups out of a cabinet and went downstairs to find Roland.
Eighteen
Roland
I sat on a stool in the empty tasting room and pinched the bridge of my nose. All was quiet—I was pretty sure everyone else had gone home. Cooper had taken Mom over to the Lodge for the night. He’d been cracking jokes to make her smile, and of course it had worked. It had been a relief to see her relax, although I knew the worst had only just begun.
My head hurt, making it hard to think. Although considering my entire family had just imploded, the headache was the least of my problems.
I couldn’t believe my fucking father. I’d known something wasn’t right, and I couldn’t help but wonder—if I’d been here, would this have come out sooner? How long had Mom ignored what she must have known to be true because she didn’t think she had a choice?
That was no way to live.
“Hey, Roland.”
I looked up at Zoe’s voice. She stood in the doorway, her head tilted. Her dark hair was down, falling in waves around her shoulders. One side of her white t-shirt was caught in the waistband of her jeans, like she’d started to tuck it in, but forgot what she was doing. When she wasn’t managing an event, she always looked so damn careless.
I hated that I still loved that about her.
Seeing her stirred up a potent mix of feelings I didn’t want to have right now. Hurt. Regret. Desire. I still craved her. It pissed me off, but tonight I was weak. The temptation of a few minutes alone with her was too much to resist.
“Hey.” I scooted the stool next to me away from the counter. “Come on in.”
“I know there’s not much to say.” She had two plastic cups pinched between her fingers, and a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels dangled from her other hand. “Do you wanna drink about it instead?”
“Yeah, I could use a drink.”
“Figured.” She came in and set everything on the counter, then poured us each a generous measure of the amber liquid.
I slid my drink closer as she took a seat on the stool, facing me.
“Plastic cups?” I asked.
“I like to keep it classy,” she said with a smile. “Besides, do you want to wash dishes?”
“Fair point. Where’d you get the whiskey?”
She put the cap back on the bottle. “My office.”
“You keep whiskey in your office?”
She raised her eyebrows, like I’d asked a stupid question. “You know I work for your father, right?”
I raised the cup. “True.”
She raised hers in a toast, and we both took a swallow.
“So your flight back to San Francisco is tomorrow?” she asked.
“No,” I said and took another sip. “I canceled it.”
“You mean you’re staying?” she asked.
“Yeah. I can’t leave in the middle of this.”
She nodded slowly, and silence stretched out between us. I stared at my cup—had to keep my eyes on something other than her. Sitting this close, I could smell the lavender scent of her hair.
She was unraveling me, slowly but surely. I could feel it happening. Like she was gently unbuttoning the collar of a shirt that fit too tight. I could breathe when she was near, yet she still took my breath away.
/> I wanted to stay mad. Hide behind anger and pretend I didn’t care about her. Keep that emotionless mask where it belonged so no one could get in. Especially Zoe. But my anger was crumbling, exposing the rawness on the inside. I didn’t think I could stop it. And at this point, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
It would feel good to let go. So fucking good.
“I guess I should get home,” she said.
She stood, and before I could stop myself, I stood and grabbed her hips. Her eyes met mine, deep pools of midnight blue, making my heart beat harder. I knew her eyes, just like I knew her voice. Her scent. The curves of her body. How to make her scream my name. I knew it all, and those eyes mirrored the lust that must have been shining in mine.
“You know this is a bad idea, right?” she asked, her voice quiet. But she shifted closer, so our bodies touched.
“Is it?” I asked. “Maybe we need this.”
A hint of pink crept across her cheeks. “Just to get it out of our systems?”
“Exactly.” I slid my hands around to her lower back and pressed her against me. Maybe this would work. Maybe I could fuck her out of my system, once and for all.
“Damn it, Roland,” she said. “I hate you for being so fucking sexy.”
Our mouths crashed together, and I tasted the whiskey on her tongue. She was achingly familiar. The way she leaned to the right as I kissed her. The way she held the back of my neck. Slid her hands through my hair. It took me back to a time when I could do this every day. When Zoe had been mine.
Fuck, I’d missed her so much.
The reality of that swept through me as I kissed her deeply. I had missed her. God, what the fuck was I going to do with that? Just being around her was opening me up—laying me bare. I couldn’t hide from anything when I was with her.
Maybe she wasn’t mine anymore, but for a little while, she would be.
I pulled her shirt up and she lifted her arms so I could take it off. I let it drop to the floor while she attacked the buttons on mine, our mouths still tangled—wet and messy. Her hands slid across my chest and shoulders, pushing my shirt open. Her thumb brushed my nipple ring and she gasped.
Broken Miles Page 13
