by Alisa Adams
"Are ye goin' tae look for him yersel', mistress?" Mairi asked.
"No, she is not," Moira said, her tone firm. "She wanted to go the night you went on the raid, and I stopped her. She is going to stay here and keep us company, and just in case she needs to do some of the wild things she usually does, she can take your sons outside—"
"And teach them how to use a crossbow!" Alexa said triumphantly.
Mairi and Donella laughed.
"Me an' all, mistress," Donella said dourly. "I will never be helpless again!"
"No," Alexa said. "That I promise you, Mairi."
12
Sewing and Dreaming
Hector Sutherland had managed to get away by falling off his horse. In its frenzied attempt to get away from the noise and commotion of the battle, the terrified animal had reared up then collided with another horse before galloping away, unseating Hector who banged the back of his head on the ground as he hit it.
Instinctively he sought the shelter of the few pine trees that comprised the forest, crawling along on his stomach till unconsciousness finally claimed him. He could not have picked a better place to collapse, in fact, because he was concealed under a thick bush and in the darkness, he was completely invisible.
He heard the search party going past in a vague and distant corner of his mind, but if they had found him, he could not have saved himself. Fortunately, they had not. He groaned and felt the back of his head. There was a lump there the size of a goose egg, and it throbbed painfully, but at least he was still free. He had a powerful thirst, but thankfully there was a stream nearby, and he was able to slake it comfortably enough.
He sat for a while with his back against a tree and looked up at the sky. Dawn was still an hour or so away and he spent the time wondering who had betrayed him.
He was seething with rage. The farmers were too scared – or so he had thought. One of his men could have turned on him, but they were also afraid of him. Anyway, he kept them well supplied with all the necessities of life – without him, they would starve.
What about one of his family? He laughed out loud. They all knew what would happen to them if he found out that they had told on him. He would show them no mercy, and anyway, the only one he even liked was Mairi, and that was because she reminded him of his mother. He often wondered why he had sired so many children if he didn't even like them.
The answer, though he would never have realized it, was that he liked power. He liked the feeling of making his wife submit to him and hearing her scream. He liked beating all of them except Mairi and deep down he knew he was an evil man. But if it were one of the family, he would exact revenge with his fists or his belt. He would have justice.
Presently, he realized that the sun was coming up. Sunbeams were slanting through the tree branches, blinding him. He had to eat, but he knew that there would be people, and even parties of people, combing the countryside looking for him. He sighed and felt for his sword to make sure it was to hand. It was not.
He felt all around himself in an effort to locate it, then stood up to search a wider area, but as soon as he put his weight on his right leg, a jet of fire shot up it, so searingly painful that for a moment he could do nothing but gasp.
Then he let out a piercing shriek of agony. This was soon followed by a keening moan, then he vomited with the pain. He felt even worse, and a moment later, he passed out again.
Lorraine had always been able to sew beautifully, and hundreds of little samplers and much bigger tapestries had passed through her talented hands. Alexa had always admired her talent and loved to sit and watch her while she worked.
Lorraine would sometimes go into a bout of concentration so deep she was almost in a trance. Alexa had not the patience to sit still for so long, and no inclination to make the gorgeous pieces of handiwork that seemed so easy for her friend.
She went to visit her one cloudy afternoon in late August with the intention of asking her to go riding, but Lorraine had her nose in her embroidery, and Alexa decided not to waste her time.
"What are you working on?" Alexa looked at the heavy silk fabric in a delicate shade of peach that was draped over Lorraine's knees.
"My wedding gown," Lorraine replied, with a wide smile.
"How lovely," Alexa breathed out. "You are going to make such a beautiful bride."
"Thank you, Alexa." Lorraine’s voice had become troubled. "But I wish I could be a bit more like you."
"Like me?" Alexa squeaked, astonished. "Why would you wish that? You're gorgeous, you're talented, and you can be still for five minutes at a time!"
"I'm not intelligent like you," Lorraine said wistfully. "I can't talk about interesting things or shoot crossbows or any of those daring things that you do. I wish I could. Maybe Gregor would respect me more then?"
Alexa was too stunned to speak for a moment.
"Lorraine, darling," she said, being gentle, "there are different kinds of intelligence. You are different to me because we are different people. Look at this!" She indicated to the line of delicate cream stitching that Lorraine's skillful hands were making, so detailed that it looked like a drawing. "What's really worrying you?"
Lorraine looked up into her friend's troubled blue-gray eyes. Alexa was fierce, not gentle, and maybe that was why men were drawn to her, but then different men liked different things and people too.
"Gregor doesn't want to marry me." Lorraine sighed. "I can see it in his eyes, and in the way he talks to me. Our marriage was arranged, but I fell in love with him. He's the only one for me, and I thought that in time he could learn to love me too, but since the first minute I introduced him to you, he has drawn away from me. It's not your fault – you have done nothing to encourage him. I just wanted to tell you how I feel."
Alexa went to the window and sighed.
"Graham is going to ask me to marry him, and I am going to say no, even if Iain orders me. So you are not the only one with problems of the heart, Lorraine. But I am not interested in Gregor."
She was lying. She found him very interesting and attractive indeed, but she would never tell her friend.
Now, she leaned forward and embraced Lorraine.
"I am glad you told me," Alexa added fervently. "Don't stop making that wedding gown, darling. If he is going to stray, you must find a way to bring him back. What do you want to do?"
"Be more like you," Lorraine replied without hesitation.
Alexa stared at her for a moment in amazement.
"But you are not me." She shook her head. "And you are perfect just the way you are. I will gladly teach you how to use a crossbow, but only to defend yourself. And before you say it, you are too generously curved and womanly to wear boys' clothes."
Lorraine laughed, and Alexa thought for a moment.
"I will make a bargain with you. Teach me to sew, and I will teach you to use a crossbow and maybe even a sword."
Lorraine's eyes shone.
"Do you think I can learn?" she asked, doubtful.
Alexa flapped a hand at her.
"Pfft, woman!" She laughed. "If I can learn a complicated skill like sewing, you can certainly learn how to point a stick at a target then let go! I am teaching Dougall and Donald Sutherland, and they are learning very quickly."
"Do you think any of the girls would be interested in learning to sew?"
Alexa clapped her hands in excitement.
"Yes, I do!" she replied with delight. "Nanny is teaching them all to read, write and count – this will be a wonderful skill for the girls to have! Do you know that Iain is playing chess with Donald too?"
"It's as if a whole new world has opened for them!" Lorraine laughed. "Alexa – it has for us too! This has given us a purpose."
"I think we always had one of those. But it is good to pass on what we have."
Then something occurred to Lorraine.
"Why don't you want to marry Graham?" she asked, puzzled. "I thought you had loved him since you were a child?"
Alex
a sighed. She could not tell Lorraine the truth – that meeting Gregor had put her feelings for Graham into perspective. It was puppy love – innocent and trusting, but not very exciting after all.
What she felt for Gregor was probably a momentary excitement, and she was mature enough to realize that, but it had also made her realize that she was not ready to settle down at all.
"I am not a child anymore," Alexa replied. "And I have grown out of the idea of putting on a pretty dress and getting married. You and I have different ambitions in life, Lorraine."
"What would you like to do?" Lorraine asked.
Alexa watched her friend’s fingers fly effortlessly over the complicated stitch work as the pattern took shape.
"I want to get on a ship and go wherever it takes me!" Alexa replied, sighing. "I doubt I ever will though."
"That is the difference between you and me, Alexa." Lorraine shook her head. "I have no such ambitions. I never want to leave Scotland."
They smiled at each other.
"Let's have some wine," Lorraine suggested, putting out her hand.
Alexa took it, and they walked out to meet Donella and Mairi.
"Iain," Moira murmured, looking up at her husband as she lay in bed. She was having an afternoon nap as had become her custom of late – since she often felt quite exhausted in the afternoon. "I must talk with you."
Iain's brow furrowed with concern as he sat on the bed.
"Are you all right, sweetheart?" he asked, anxious.
"Never more so." She smiled with half-closed eyes. "You see, I am with child."
Iain stared at her in a dazed fashion for a moment then crushed her to him in a passionate embrace.
For a minute, he could not speak, then he held her away from him for a moment before kissing her fiercely.
The look that Iain gave Moira as he gazed into her eyes was one that she would remember and treasure for the rest of her life.
"You have made me so, so happy," he said, his voice husky. "When I lost my Sandra, I thought I would never be happy again, but you have given me a new life, Moira!"
"You saved mine and Alexa's," she pointed out. "So now we are even. I am so happy to be carrying your child, sweetheart."
"When will it be born?" he asked with eagerness.
"Sometime in spring, Annag says. We cannot tell exactly because babies make up their own minds."
"We must take every care of you." Iain looked as though he was already making plans.
"It is not a military strategy!" Moira laughed. "All I have to do is rest enough, exercise enough, get plenty of fresh air, and good food. Mother Nature will take care of the rest."
"And I will take care of you," he whispered, kissing her again.
13
A Death in the Family
Alexa was in her element. She had discovered something that she enjoyed even more than firing crossbows – teaching others to fire crossbows.
Dougall and Donald were apt and eager pupils. After the brutal confines of their upbringing, they were sometimes quite savage in their ways, and Alexa had to calm them down from time to time.
Once, Donald had lifted a hand to smack her face with his fist, but she had sprung back in time to miss it. He had looked at her, stunned, then realized what he had done, and his eyes were so full of shame she could have wept for him.
"Donald." She patted him on the shoulder, and said quietly, "There is no harm done. You saw your father doing that for years and years. It is going to take you a while to realize that it is not the right way to treat people."
Donald put his hand over his eyes.
"Please forgive me, mistress," he said, sounding broken. "I am so ashamed. After all ye hae done fer us!"
"You're forgiven, and we will say no more about it. Now, chin up, Donald! I want another three bulls' eyes and no excuses!"
"Aye, mistress!" Dougall laughed. "He's only cryin' 'cause he knaws I'll beat him!"
"Aye! Ye're gaunnae beat me?" Donald asked indignantly. "Ye an' whose army?"
He loosed off three bolts in quick succession which were a few inches from the center of the target, but Dougall came and did better.
Growling, Donald fitted another bolt to his bow, and so it went on all afternoon.
Alexa sat back and watched with satisfaction as the killer instinct present in every man's soul came to the fore.
Soon the brothers were improving with every shot, and within a week, they were, if not crack shots, then good enough to go hunting, but that was a skill they could not do without learning to ride too.
It's as if they are little babies, Alexa thought. They need to learn everything!
But if that would help them to catch Hector Sutherland, she knew that she would spend every waking hour making it happen.
Mairi had been only too pleased to see her brothers progressing so well. Now she realized they would no longer be defenseless against their brute of a father.
They had been at the castle for a week, and at Annag's assistance, Donella had spent much of the time sleeping. She suffered from headaches which Annag said were brought on by a fever in the brain, but were, in fact, the result of being brutally beaten for years.
But the smaller children were blossoming. Little Sam had learned to speak properly at last and no longer flinched whenever anyone touched him.
Ella took great delight in watching Alexa learn to sew and laughed every time she pricked her finger.
Rose preferred to spend most of her time in the kitchen, where she learned to bake bannocks and make stews.
All the family was thoroughly enjoying the freedom the castle was giving them, Mairi was thinking of the future.
"Mistress, what if they dinnae catch him?" she asked fearfully. "How are we ever goin' tae live in peace? We cannae stay here forever! Sooner or later we must move on, an' I fear for the wee ones."
"I know," Alexa said gently. "But be at peace till your mother recovers. She has had a hard life – you all have – but she has had the worst of all."
"Aye." Mairi nodded. "It makes sense. Thank ye, mistress." But she still looked scared and unconvinced.
She was right to be afraid.
Three days later, Nanny Joan went in to take Donella some broth and found her lying peacefully asleep. She had a slight smile on her face as though she was having a pleasant dream, but when Nanny touched her shoulder to wake her up, her head lolled sideways on the pillow. When she felt her skin, it was ice-cold. She must have been dead for hours, all alone with no chance to say goodbye to anyone.
Quickly, Nanny Joan composed the body then drew the sheet over her face. She brought the bowl back out with her and told the children that Mammy was asleep and they must not wake her. But Mairi was not fooled – she had seen the glint of tears in Joan's eyes and the haste with which she hurried back to the kitchen.
She followed her and sank down beside her on the bench by the table.
"What's wrong?" she whispered.
"Oh, Mairi." Joan hugged her. "Oh, my dear – yer Mammy is deid."
Mairi was not shocked, only sad. She had expected it and prepared for it, and had built a shield against it made of a solid wall of anger and hatred.
Her face stiffened, and she pushed Joan away.
"How are we going to tell them?" Nanny asked quietly.
"I will tell them," Mairi said grimly. "And efter we hae laid my mither tae rest, I will find my faither, an’ when I find him, I will kill him."
* * *
Mairi gathered them all together in the big drawing room in front of the fire, and there she told them the awful news. Sam did not really understand, but the others did. However, Nanny and Alexa were there, and the twins, who were big enough to help take care of the little ones.
"Can we see her, please?" Donald asked.
Nanny nodded and picked up Sam while Alexa took Rose and Ella by the hand.
Donella was very pale now, but the serenity on her face made her beautiful. The children kissed her one by one, and Nann
y Joan said a little prayer for her.
When it was over, she made a tender little speech.
"She is wi' God now." Nanny Joan smiled. "Where there is nae badness, an’ naebody hurts onybody. She is watchin' over ye like yer guardian angel, an’ even though her body will no' be here ony mair, she is still alive in heaven, an' sittin' at the right hand o' God almighty."
Mairi's face was still a stiff mask of anger.
Alexa saw it like black pitch boiling within her.
Mairi had a will of iron. She had taught herself to read, and she had escaped from an impregnable prison and brought her family with her. She had achieved everything she had set out to do.
Could she, Alexa, stop her from killing her father if she found him? The man was an evil, self-serving and terrifying monster. Alexa didn't know if she could put a stop to Mairi’s efforts, but the bigger question was – did she even want to?
Hector had been sitting in the same spot for a day. He was hungry to the point where he had started to shake, and he knew that he would have to move soon. After several attempts, he ascertained that he could put no weight on his leg at all – the pain was too much to be borne. He could see that the ankle joint was swollen and purple, but he could not tell whether it was broken or merely sprained.
Above him were the spreading branches of a big fir tree, and he decided that he would try to break one off and use it as a crutch. He hitched himself slowly and painfully upright by bracing his back against the tree trunk and pushing, till he was finally standing on one foot. The lowest branch was just at the tip of his fingers, and he realized that he would have to jump with one foot to catch it. He groaned.
If he missed it would be painful in the extreme, but he had no other option. It had to be done. He counted to three, braced himself and sprang upwards. He was lucky. He managed to get one hand around it, and his weight did the rest. There was a loud crack as the branch gave way, and he fell on his backside on the floor. Another jet of pain shot through his injured foot, and he screamed in agony.
