Many of the kids in their before and after school program waved when they spotted Brynn and Robert, and she made sure to say hello to all of the parents who had come to watch the parade. This morning’s SAEC attendance had been lower than usual due to so many parents deciding to go in late to work to be able to watch the parade. Not all parents had that option, but she appreciated the ones who went that extra mile to go in late to work and be there. It made a big difference in the kids. A lot of kids didn’t mind and understood when their parents couldn’t make it, but she could always sense the frustration in those who hated that their parents didn’t come to anything, ever. Parenting had to be such a tough job.
After the parade, Brynn waved to Robert as she followed the mass exodus of parents leaving the campus. She spotted a familiar head of thick, dark, closely cropped hair as Josh Davis reached his pearlized silver truck. He turned toward her as they both opened their car doors and grinned her way. She tossed him a wave and felt unfamiliar butterflies flutter low in her belly. What was that all about?!
Chapter 11
The following Friday night, Erica and Robert had just gone home when she turned and found a very mellow Brendan slouching in one of the navy vinyl bean bag chairs. She’d never seen his shining hazel green eyes so sad, nor his brows furrowed so tightly.
“Hey, little mister. Who’s supposed to be picking you up today?” she asked him gently, crouching down low to meet his eyes.
“My mom. It’s her weekend, but I don’t know why she’s not here yet.” His poor little face looked so dejected that it nearly broke her heart. “She’s always late.”
“Well, let me see if I can reach her on the phone, ok?” Brynn checked his file and dialed the number for Skye on the heavy black classroom phone. No answer. She hesitated, and decided to call Josh’s cell. He picked up immediately.
“Hey, Josh, it’s Brynn. Brendan says his mom is picking him up tonight, but it’s almost quarter to 7 and she’s not here yet. Do you know if there’s been a change in plans?” she asked, feeling nervous all of a sudden.
She heard his frustrated sigh before he spoke, “uh, no. But I’m not all that surprised. I’m almost home and it’s only another 5 minutes for me to get there. Are you okay waiting for me?”
“Sure thing. He’s in good hands,” she assured.
“Oh, I know. Outside my family, there’s no one I trust with him more.”
Brynn’s cheeks pinked slightly in pleasure from his confidence and trust in her. She adored her students, Brendan most especially. She looked at his precious little face, so sad about his mom not showing up, and she felt like she could just claw out the woman’s eyes the next time she saw her. She pulled one of the empty bean bag chairs closer to Brendan and pulled him into her arms. Brendan didn’t even say a word, he just let her hug him.
How do you just not pick up your kid? I hope she has a good reason for this. She’d better have a legitimate excuse, or I just might say something! She released the muscles in her jaw that were beginning to ache. Brynn didn’t even realize she’d been clenching so tightly.
Just then, she heard the roar of Skye’s sports car speeding into the parking lot, followed by the click of her sky-high heels on the metal ramp outside. Brynn gave Brendan a quick squeeze before rising to her feet. The door swung open and as usual, the tiny spiky-haired woman was perfectly made up in tight, professional clothing with just a low enough neckline that her intriguing body art was on full display, but not necessarily in a trashy way. Brynn still couldn’t get over how pretty and punk-pixie this woman was, and the contrast to her expectations threw off her intentions to speak her mind.
“Hi, Brendan, let’s go,” she motioned coolly to her son, who rose slowly from his slumped spot on the floor and gathered his things. Sweet, love bug boy that he was, Brynn could still see the hope in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around his mother’s legs. Brynn always relished those hugs, and couldn’t help feel a stab of jealousy that here Skye was the recipient and couldn’t even see the value in them. Skye bent slightly at the hip and wrapped a single arm loosely around Brendan in a return almost-hug. Brynn had seen the creepy old guy at church give a better hug.
Her voice still cool and controlled, Skye once again commanded, “You’re so sweet. Now, we really must go.” Her oversized, expensive purse dangled from her right elbow as she held out her left impatiently for Brendan to grasp, and they left.
Brynn shook her head and said a short prayer for God to protect Brendan’s little growing heart. Her own heart felt cracked just thinking about the situation. She finished her closing procedures, locked up, and crossed the lot to her car just as Josh’s truck pulled in.
“Hey, sorry it took longer than 5 minutes. There was a wreck on I-25 and you know how the frontage roads can get. Where’s Brendan?” he looked around and behind her for his son, his concerned expression warming her heart and soothing its cracks. He was such a good dad.
“His mother just left with him. She showed up right after I got off the phone with you. I’m sorry, I should have called you back, but I was so focused on closing up that I forgot,” she answered, looking down apologetically.
“Oh, that’s okay. I’m glad she showed up. He’s been asking about her and I think they had plans to see her parents.” He shook his head with hands on hips and looked up at the cloud-covered stars for an answer. “I can’t understand how two such fantastic people raised such a…not fantastic person.”
“I’m sorry, that’s got to be a complicated situation.”
He gave a strangled laugh. “You have no idea.” Brynn’s head tilted to the side as she looked at him more closely. He looked like he was holding back, but ready to explode.
“Want to talk about it?” she asked, partly out of compassion and part curiosity. Okay, a lot curiosity.
“It’s a Friday night and you’re probably dying to get out of here and off to something more fun. My pathetic frustrations are the last thing you want to spend your Friday night on,” he tried to come off flippant, but it was a half-hearted sound of dejection to Brynn’s ears.
“Actually I, for once, have no plans at all,” she said, opening the back of her little SUV and tossing her back pack inside. Without looking directly at him, she sat just inside the back opening and dangled her feet inches above the ground as she patted the empty space next to her. “Feel free to spill away.”
Josh
Josh hesitated for a moment before unbuttoning the jacket of his slim-cut suit and taking the seat next to her. This was such a bad idea. Brynn didn’t need to hear his cautionary tale of lousy life choices and aimless wandering. She only knew the saved Josh, the guy who went to men’s life group and had a really amazing little boy and promoted charity events and galas. Obviously, she knew he’d made some bad choices; Skye’s presence was a blaring indicator of that, but he didn’t want to look in her eyes and see himself lowering in her esteem. He really liked Brynn, and recognized what a spectacular and innocent person she was. If she thought less of him, could he handle it?
Honesty’s the best policy, son, he heard his dad’s voice in his ears. The man had a hundred quotes and Bible verses all ready at the drop of a hat about honesty. Swallowing hard the temptation to gloss things over, he decided to be bold for once and tell her about himself and let the chips fall where they may. Maybe if she knew his story, her response would help him get over this infatuation or whatever it was.
“Well, I guess it would make more sense for you if I back up a little bit. Did you know I used to work for the hockey team before they went belly up and left town? I was a cocky, young 20’s, single guy fresh out of college and enjoying every perk of the job. Okay, back up some more. I was raised in a family that preached better choices, by really amazing parents who prayed for me my whole life. But I didn’t care back then. I was young and my life was just that—mine. I found myself surrounded by temptation and people who played hard and partied harder.
“I know this is pretty common for all sp
orts teams, but for some reason, hockey girls are an animal all their own. A lot of these girls come to games just so they can linger outside the locker room afterward and get invited to post-game parties, hook up with the players and stuff. There’s a ton of nicknames for these kinds of girls, and most of them aren’t very flattering.
“I don’t have any excuses for myself, other than I was a selfish, stupid punk. Most of these girls only wanted to hang out with the hockey players. But there were plenty of times some of us younger guys on staff would go hang with the team and the girls would come on to us, too. I didn’t get physical with every girl, and even as an unbeliever I had standards.
“But there was this one time I met this tiny, spunky girl with dark hair, who seemed so edgy and cool and everything I wasn’t. We’d been drinking a lot at the party where we met, and one thing led to another. I never thought I’d see or hear from her again, and I was totally okay with that. By the time the night was over, I’d realized we had nothing in common anyway.”
Josh blew out a heavy, full breath and hung his head before continuing. This was normal life for so many people, so why did he hate hearing it about himself so much? Because he’d known better, even then? He searched the stars as if for an answer before continuing.
“A couple months later, she tracked me down to let me know she was pregnant. I was blindsided, because even though I made a lot of choices I regret, I always had protection. She said she was considering all her options and would let me know what she decided, and even though I didn’t know for sure that it was even my baby she was carrying, I couldn’t let her go through with an abortion. I went to one of her early doctor’s appointments, and once I first heard the whooshing sound of its heartbeat I knew I loved the baby. Pretty much the whole rest of her pregnancy, I made sure she went to appointments and that she knew that if she didn’t want the kid I’d take it, no questions asked.”
Brynn looked at him right then, and he could feel her gaze burning through him. He couldn’t look her fully in the eye yet, but even from the corner of his eye he saw a look on her face that didn’t contain even an ounce of the judgement that he’d expected to see. It gave him the power to plunge forward.
“While that was all going on, I realized that God was changing me. Something in me knew I was falling short of a bigger plan for my life, and I ended up rededicating my life to Christ not long after Brendan was born. And before you ask, yes, he is mine. I still wanted to be sure, so I asked for a paternity test. She kept primary custody of him for the first couple of weeks, but as soon as his newborn sleepiness wore off and he started being more demanding, she decided she wasn’t cut out to be a full-time mom. She packed him up and brought him to me with all of his things, took off, and didn’t even call me again until eighteen months ago when he was almost 4.
“I didn’t want to let her back into his life, but I guess her parents had been guilting her into letting them know Brendan. She must have realized if she wanted them to continue to support her free-living lifestyle, then she’d need to let them see their grandson sometimes. I’ve gotten to know them fairly well and I just don’t get how she came from them. Not that I know her that well even now, but from what I do know, it kills me to let my son spend time with her. But, there you have it. I left the hockey team to work for my current company before they shut things down, and have been trying to make good of our lives ever since.”
Brynn looked up at him, and he looked down into her stunning blue eyes, glistening with emotion. The corner of his mouth lifted and he raised his brow and shoulders in a “what do you do?” shrug. She breathed in deeply and blew it out and he’d have given anything to know what she must be thinking at that moment.
While they’d had a couple short conversations, and that one longer one at the duck pond, they hadn’t covered anything this personal before. Heck, he’d hardly been this open with his own parents. In a weird way, it was a relief to talk to her like this. But while he was starting to definitely move beyond basic attraction, past infatuation, and possibly on to something more, he had no idea how she felt or if she could even begin to reciprocate those feelings someday.
Probably not, especially with his foolish history. She was just too good and untouched.
Brynn
Wow. I mean, just…wow. Brynn had never heard a story quite like Josh’s before. Growing up in church, she’d been one of the kids to toe the line always and was too worried about disappointing her parents and God to do anything like that. She knew most people weren’t as innocent and sheltered as she had been, but it was still a bit shocking to hear of people she actually knew making choices she’d been sure her parents would kill her for. But she didn’t want to judge Josh. She knew what kind of man he really was, and she knew that her choices with Aiden could easily have led her to go too far and face similar consequences. She was grateful every day that she hadn’t given herself to him.
Brynn steeled herself to remain open minded and open hearted, and thought through what she wanted to say so it wouldn’t sound trite or self-righteous.
“I love how God takes such broken situations and restores them with hope. You’re a good dad, Josh, and I can tell you’re a good guy. You let Jesus come in and make you into something new. You preserved the life of an unborn baby when you could have just ignored Skye and let her do what she wanted to. A lot of guys would have insisted the baby wasn’t theirs and just walked away. Instead, you claimed him and made the hard choices required to make him the awesome little kid he is.”
“Thanks for that,” he nodded, clearing his throat and looking more than a little uncomfortable. “I’ve looked back on that whole time in my life so many times, thinking about what I could have done differently, but now I realize that I wouldn’t be who I am today if it hadn’t all gone down exactly as it did.”
“That’s very wise. I know we don’t know each other all that well, so I’m honored you’re being so candid with me. I guess you just needed to talk?” she looked up at him, searching his light, flecked golden-greenish eyes.
“Uh…,” he grabbed the back of his neck with one hand, a sheepish look on his face like he was as confused about opening up as she was. “Apparently? I guess I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, and you’re surprisingly easy to talk to.”
She grinned up at him, pleased with his candor. “I get that a lot, actually. But don’t worry, your story’s safe with me.”
He gave a small laugh. “Oh, just because I don’t talk about myself or my past a lot doesn’t mean it’s a big secret or anything. I’m a pretty private person most of the time. Tonight, I think I was just so frustrated at Skye for not showing up and all of it was a little raw and up at the surface. I still don’t understand why she is the way she is. How did she seem when she picked up Brendan? Was Brendan okay?”
Brynn’s brows furrowed together a little, and she bit the inside of her lower lip ever so slightly as she considered her answer. Slowly, she said, “She seemed the same as she was the other couple times I’ve seen her picking him up. She comes in late, rushing in and out again rather abruptly. Brendan is usually his playful self, but tonight he was pretty bummed. He almost always wants to show her something, but—,” she paused, hesitantly trying to figure out how to express it diplomatically, “—she doesn’t really give him her full attention, at least while she’s in our building. I have no idea, though. She could very well get him home and fully devote every spare second to him.”
“It’s kind of you to give her the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know, though. He’s usually pretty emotional after he comes home from his weekends with her. She often ships him out to her parents at least one of the days, and I have virtually no control over who he meets or where they go.”
He tensed his shoulders and shook his head.
“Okay, enough about Brendan’s mother drama. So, how’s school going this semester? You seemed a little ambivalent about it when I ran into you a few weeks ago.”
She looked up at him in surprise.
Brynn knew they’d talked about a lot of things, including a little about school, but it was mostly just small talk while they watched the ducks. She couldn’t remember talking negatively about school and was pretty impressed he’d picked up on her feelings without even knowing her all that well.
“Oh, it’s going all right. I guess ambivalent is a pretty appropriate word for how I’ve been feeling,” she agreed.
“Why’s that?” he asked, nodding for her to continue.
Brynn frowned slightly and then looked up in thought. “Well, I don’t really know. As a kid growing up, I always—and I mean always—wanted to become a teacher. I started out at UNM with a perfect plan to achieve all the goals I’d laid out for myself. I was going to take all the prerequisites, even take a few extra classes over the summer to graduate early, get into the College of Ed and continue straight through with my Master’s as fast as I could, so I could start teaching at a higher level right away. I had a whole life plan, but somewhere during my sophomore year I found myself floundering and second guessing everything. I couldn’t focus, my grades were slipping, and I wanted to make a change. I took a year off school and worked full time for the collaborative getting the program started here at Cordova,” she motioned to the building in front of them, “and when I went back the next fall I decided to switch to nursing. I thought pediatric nursing would be a fun major, with a whole different set of challenges, and yes, headaches, but all of the issues I’d seen with the way our state treats its teachers wouldn’t apply as a nurse.”
What Could Be (Everyday Love Book 1) Page 8
