by Cari Quinn
Focusing on his shoes while he tried to figure out how to start, how to tell Sarah everything churning inside him, Sebastian whispered, “Are you going as out of your mind as I am? Je me sens comme une personne folle. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep waiting and hoping. I need you to make a decision. Do you want me?”
Raising his gaze, he saw myriad emotions in Sarah’s eyes—want, need, fear. He hated this and what it was doing to both of them, but refused to give up until he’d used up every chance he had to make Sarah admit her feelings.
She cleared her throat. In a voice that was less than steady, she said, “Yes, I do.”
“You’re saying you want to be with me? Be honest and forget about all the other bullshit.”
“Yes, but…”
He dropped to his knees at her feet before taking her hands in his and kissing each knuckle. “I want to be with you more than anything,” he said. “I never thought something could be as important to me as my hockey career and then I met you. You made my entire world shift. I want to be with you, I want to see where this goes, ma belle. Please. I’m dying here.”
Was it possible he could have everything he’d dreamed about?
He stared into Sarah’s eyes, hardly able to believe this was happening. A tear tracked down her cheek and he gently brushed it away with his thumb. Her eyes betrayed so much emotion. Seeing her like this was killing him.
“Give up the fight, Sarah.” Pulling her onto the floor with him, he nuzzled into her neck. “Please, mon amour, please…Laissez-moi tu aimer. Let me love you.”
A cross between a sob and a cry escaped her. “I want to. Oh God, I want to. No matter how hard I try I can’t stay away from you.” She grabbed his face, and he sought her lips hungrily.
Their kisses became more and more urgent, as if they only had this time together, but Sebastian wanted more. More passion, more sensation, more excitement, more pleasure. More of her—her smell, her taste, her kisses, her caresses. He was trapped in an abyss of lust where nothing mattered but this woman. “Mon ange, I need to be inside you. I need to make you mine.”
Sarah groaned, her hands flying to his sweater and pulling it over his head before he wrestled with hers. They didn’t waste time getting to the bedroom, instead collapsing on the thick carpet covering the hardwood floor.
After disposing of her bra, Sebastian attacked her breasts with his mouth, and a keening moan from Sarah drifted through his lust-fogged brain. She held his head in place as he gently pulled on each nipple with his teeth before sucking them into the heat of his mouth. His senses went wild from the taste and smell of her skin, so fresh, so clean, so soft.
Finally she rolled them until he was underneath her. Then she made her own journey with her lips, tongue, and teeth as he tried to calm his raging blood. He was already panting like he’d just come off the ice after a long shift and hissed when she bit down on a spot between his neck and collarbone before running her tongue over it. With a groan, he tilted his head to give her better access.
Sebastian yanked her track pants and panties down and off with one quick, agile motion. She gasped as his finger delved into her wetness. He teased her, sliding over her slick folds again and again while assailing her breasts with his mouth. When he rubbed her clit with his thumb, making tighter and tighter circles, she cried out.
He loved how easily he could her lose control. Giving Sarah pleasure was like a drug to him.
She reached down to his jeans before running her palm down the front and cupping the erection straining the material. Sebastian was insane with desire but didn’t want this to be over too quickly. He tamped down on his lust to prove to her he wasn’t just a dumb kid who couldn’t control himself. Biting his lip to keep from crying out, he watched as Sarah worked his pants down his legs to join her clothing in a heap.
She squeezed his hard length through his boxers and Sebastian couldn’t keep in a guttural groan as he arched into her embrace. As she continued to stroke him, he responded to her every touch with broken words of adoration until his breath was coming in quick, shallow gulps. He was close to losing control.
Lucky for him she slowed things down by trailing light kisses from his navel to his neck. Sebastian’s hands were roaming everywhere he could reach on her naked body, and she grabbed them, pulling them over his head and eliciting another visceral groan. Giving her control was natural at that moment, and he was rewarded when she raked her sensual gaze over his body, leaving goose bumps in her wake.
“So what’s the deal with the tats?”
She wants to talk about this now? “A bunch of the guys were getting them and I went along.”
“Twice?”
“Yeah, well…” He gave a little shrug, hoping she’d return to what she’d been doing.
Leaning her weight on him, she bit his nipple. That’s more like it. She blew on the hardened nub before repeating the action on the other side.
All the while, Sarah rubbed her body up and down his naked torso, the pink buds of her nipples mixing with the hair on his chest like the softest fleece and kindling flames of pleasure. She licked and suckled his nipples and they puckered under her tongue.
Of his limited sexual conquests, no other woman had paid this kind of singular attention to his nipples, and he loved it.
She moved lower to lavish attention on the juncture of his leg and torso. He drew a shuddering breath, breaking out in a fine sheen of sweat. Sarah glanced up, her eyes hazy with heat. Her lips reached the waistband of his boxers, and she tugged them down with her teeth, scraping the rough material over his erection and watching while he writhed and trembled beneath her.
Leaving his underwear bunched around his thighs, she licked his length from root to tip and he growled. “Sarah, you’re killing me,” he ground out through clenched teeth as she took him in her mouth.
Unable to keep his hands away, he fisted them in her hair as he grew impossibly thicker and longer inside her warm, wet mouth. Their eyes locked as she continued to suck and the rest of the world faded away. There was only this time, this incredible woman. She held nothing back, and her potent sexuality seared him like a brand.
Sarah let him go with an audible pop then levered herself above him, writhing like a cat. He buried his face in her cleavage, nibbling on her skin, his husky moans meant to urge her on. She captured his mouth once again then sucked on his tongue.
He tore away. “Enough! It feels too good. I need to be inside you. I can’t wait.”
Sarah rolled to the side and Sebastian sat up, grabbing for his jeans before fishing a condom out of the pocket. He pulled Sarah onto the couch then straddled her, leaning back to put on the condom.
His fingers wouldn’t cooperate and it took forever to get the damn package open. Cursing himself, he rolled the condom down his length. With that task completed, he lowered himself on top of her, keeping one foot on the ground to bear some of his weight. “Am I hurting you?”
Sarah shook her head with a smile and pulled him closer. He had never needed anyone or anything like he needed her at that moment. “Now,” she choked out.
He entered her in one quick motion, his heart beating a staccato inside his chest as he grunted from the sheer force of his desire. He was finally one with Sarah. Trying his best to give her pleasure before taking his own, Sebastian dragged his length back and forth inside her with measured thrusts, and she tightened a little more around him with each stroke.
He threw his head back as the sensations became almost too much for him to handle. But he kept pressing deeper and deeper, stretching her taut until her flesh throbbed violently around him, clenching to keep him buried deep, and he let out his own strangled cry as Sarah’s release went on.
When she finally calmed down, he said, “Don’t move.” He was too close to the knife’s edge of control.
Sebastian gripped her hips in pure desperation as she stroked his arms in a soothing motion. After a moment of silence with his eyes closed and a couple of hard squeezes a
t the base of his erection, he swallowed hard and opened his eyes. “That was close. I didn’t want to come yet.”
“You’re young. You’ll recover.” Sarah said with a wicked smile, moving under him again. Her eyes were heavily hooded and black with lust as he feasted on her pearly-white breasts with a fiery absorption.
Matching her movements, he grabbed her knees, pulling them over his elbows and levering her up for a deeper fit before thrusting harder. He took possession of her mouth just like he was taking possession of her body, spearing his tongue in and out in time with his thrusts.
Sebastian was losing all contact with reality as her muscles tightened around him again. Then they both lost control, gasping from the onslaught of sensation. Sarah clawed at his back as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over him, building to a blinding, nerve-rattling summit.
He collapsed on top of her, breathing hard.
After a minute, his breathing returned to normal, though Sarah was still gulping for air. He lifted his head and grinned. “Why the hell did we wait to do that?”
She giggled and shrugged.
“You know I’m going to want you again as soon as I recover, right? I’m not even close to done with you. Now I need to go take care of something.” He stole one last kiss from her. She released him with obvious reluctance, and Sebastian was even more confident they’d done the right thing.
After disposing of the condom, he ambled back into the living room and found Sarah sitting up. He wasted no time pulling her on top of him as he stretched out as much as he could on her small couch. With a smirk, he said, “You left nail marks on my back. I checked in the mirror. How do I explain those to the boys tomorrow?”
Sarah groaned as a blush crept up from her neck. “I didn’t even think about it. As for how to explain the marks, I have no idea. Maybe you can say you had a bad itch and you scratched it too hard.”
He took up the mantle of her lame attempt at humor. “Yeah, they’ll buy that, ma fille idiote. Maybe I can tell them I was attacked by a cat.” Sebastian laughed, pulling her in for another kiss, cradling her cheeks as he did so and marveling at how small and delicate her features were compared to his large, rough hands.
Chapter Twelve
Christmas was fast approaching, and Sebastian and Sarah took every opportunity to sneak away for a few stolen moments of passion. They were on a four-day road trip, the last one before the holiday break, and for most of the trip they were limited to late-night sessions in Sarah’s room. In some ways, the time constraint was exciting and their lovemaking was positively frantic, so crazy and hot.
Sarah didn’t think they were concealing their budding relationship very well, but Sebastian assured her no one had questioned him about it, and since no one had approached her either, it appeared for now, they were in the clear. She hated sneaking around. Guilt and shame were her constant companions. Being dishonest with everyone they worked with stressed her out, but then she was in Sebastian’s arms again and nothing else mattered.
Soon after coming back to Buffalo, Sebastian was evasive about his plans for the day and Sarah was left feeling out of sorts. He’d never acted so strange before, even when they were still dancing around each other, and it worried her. It wasn’t like him not to be open and honest.
Was the strain of sneaking around weighing him down even though he’d never given any indication of that? Their relationship had hardly begun, yet she didn’t want to end it. They’d fought so hard against it for so long.
After stewing all afternoon she fell asleep on the couch, fighting a pounding headache. When the phone rang some time later, she jerked upright, disoriented. She answered it with a scratchy, groggy voice. “Hello?”
“Hi, ma belle, it’s me,” Sebastian said.
“Hi.” Her head pounded and all the suspicions and insecurities from earlier came flooding back, which didn’t help.
“Are you all right? You sound funny.”
“What time is it?” Sarah asked, trying to tell the time on her watch through the haze of sleep. She didn’t remember having a nightmare, but couldn’t shake the grogginess. Her stomach pitched.
“It’s eight. Were you sleeping? Are you all right, ma belle? I’m coming over.” Before Sarah could say anything more, he hung up.
Sarah pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it. What had just happened? He and Rob lived not ten minutes from her, so it wouldn’t take long to drive to her house. She got up and took some ibuprofen then curled up on the couch again.
Sebastian had a key and Sarah soon heard it turn in the door. The fear he might break up with her flashed through her mind again, even though he’d sounded fine and happy on the phone, and her heart sank. Shaking her head to clear it, she tried to wake up, but her head was still pounding and she couldn’t concentrate.
Sebastian came in and plunked himself down on the coffee table. “You look very, ah, what is the word, yes, pale. Are you sick?” He put his hand on her forehead. “You don’t feel hot.”
“I’m not sick,” she mumbled, unable to raise her gaze, not wanting to admit she’d had a totally irrational reaction to his behavior that day.
“Then what’s going on?” Sebastian lifted her chin to force her to look at him. “You are not still obsessing about how everyone knows, are you? They don’t.”
“No, well, yes, but that’s only part of it.” Knowing she needed to get the worry off her chest, she stammered, “Wh-where were you today?”
Sebastian smiled. “I forced Rob to follow me all over town while I searched for a Christmas present for you.”
Relief flooded her. “A Christmas present?”
He wrinkled his nose and kissed her lightly. “Do you think I wouldn’t get mon petite amie a present?” It was the first time he had called her his girlfriend, and she grinned. “What’s the smile for?” One eyebrow rose, and she couldn’t believe the combination of sexy and yet boyish Sebastian managed to pull off.
“You never called me your girlfriend before,” she whispered, leaning over to put her head on his shoulder. “I’d be even happier about that if I didn’t have this pounding headache.”
Sebastian laid her back on the couch, his large hands managing to still be gentle, and she sank into the pillows with a pleased sigh. He wasn’t going to leave her. “Just relax, ma belle. Have you eaten?”
“No, not since breakfast,” she admitted, massaging her aching head with her hands.
“Well, that would make you sick. Why haven’t you eaten? Is there something going on you’re not telling me?”
She chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment. “I was afraid when you acted all weird and left after practice without saying much you were getting spooked and trying to figure out how to dump me.” She sounded so pathetically insecure and it disgusted her.
He’d pursued her for months, and since they’d gotten together, he’d never given her even a glimmer of a reason to doubt him. Sebastian’s expression belied both surprise and horror. He scooted next to her on the couch and his hand slid down the side of her face, caressing her cheek.
It was amazing how he touched her, as if she was the only woman in the world. No one had ever affected her that way.
“Oh, ma belle, I am sorry. I didn’t realize…” He trailed off and then lifted her, hugging her tightly to him. “Mon Dieu, I can see why you have a headache. Your muscles are all in knots. I hate that I did this to you.” He used his strong fingers to massage her, pushing and pulling her aching muscles, all the while sending small kisses down her jaw line and speaking softly to her in French.
“You didn’t do anything. I’m just paranoid,” Sarah replied, resting her face in the crook of his neck so he wouldn’t see her embarrassment. Why couldn’t she learn to trust anyone?
“Lie down. I’ll make you some food, and then I will rub your back some more.”
He went into the kitchen and she heard him rummaging through the fridge, muttering to himself in French. Her heart swelled, and for the first
time it occurred to her there was more to their relationship than she’d intended. She curled into the fetal position, relieved he didn’t want to end the relationship, but also scared of how much she needed him. In their short acquaintance she had come to depend on him for both her physical and emotional well-being.
By the time he brought back some leftovers he’d heated up, she had fallen fast asleep again. He gently shook her awake and told her to eat, watching until she finished every bite.
“Good, now roll over so I can rub your back.” He snapped his fingers. “I’ve got this great stuff in the car. Colby gave it to me for that quad pull. I will go get it.” Throwing on his coat, he ran outside. A few moments later, he returned with the ointment.
After helping her out of the bulky sweatshirt she’d thrown on earlier, Sebastian applied the balm. Sarah lay passively, letting him work out the knots one by one and relaxing by degrees until she feared she was becoming one with the couch cushions.
“That’s better,” he murmured. “Now let’s get you to bed.”
He started to pick her up, and she protested. “I can walk. You’ll hurt yourself.”
Sebastian scoffed. “Ma belle, I bench two hundred fifty pounds for twenty reps three times a week. A tiny thing like you is not going to hurt me. Je suis un homme grand et fort.”
Sarah laughed as he described himself as a big, strong man. He flexed the corded muscle in his arms, his flesh stretching over them. Before she knew what was happening, he’d lifted her. Without even a hitch of breath Sebastian carried her up the stairs. After setting her on the bed, he grabbed a pair of pajamas out of her dresser. Sarah noted how comfortable he was in her bedroom, and a contented sigh escaped before she could stop it. She could get used to treatment like this.
