by Mj Fields
They ran out and passed the boys on their way to their field.
Luke didn’t even turn around, “go get them Tessa!” Alex yelled.
Tessa sat on the bench and coach V wrapped her ankle. She had gotten new shin guards and slid them on; she laced up her cleats and watched as the three B’s walked towards the field.
“Tessa you’re going to defend today,” Coach V said.
“Not a chance,” Tessa said focused on her opponents.
“I am the coach Ross you just got back you need to listen,” he lectured her.
“You’re also human and competitive, would you want to be sitting in the back against a bunch of bitches that messed you up?” she asked.
He shook his head, “Fine but the minute they start messing with you you’re going back, got it?”
“I prefer to sit in the box over the bench, I will be fine,” she said and smiled at him.
He put her in the front line against B1, “Back so soon? Guess we didn’t do that great of a job then hu?”
“I am not into the three on one thing, actually never been asked, guess I am good enough all by myself, so right now it’s me and you so give me all you got girl,” Tessa said smiling .
“You little bitch,” B1 snapped.
“You want to start name calling, I can think of a few for you too,” Tessa smiled.
The ball was passed to Tessa, she grabbed it and in the blink of an eye, she had made a goal, B1 didn’t even know it was coming.
Tessa walked over and smiled at her opponent. She heard a voice from the stands, “Great shot Tessa,” she glanced and saw Luke’s Mom in the bleachers, she waved.
“So you ready to play yet?” Tessa asked.
“I came ready,” she stewed.
“Hey you ever meet Luke’s Mom?” she asked, “I mean been to there house when she was there?”
“Of course I have been there when she was home,” she snapped.
“Oh so I wonder which one of us she is here to see?” Tessa asked ad B1 looked into the bleachers. She ran for the ball and past B1 before she even noticed she was gone.
“You falling asleep on me B1,” she asked and Madison dropped her stick and lunged at her. She was on top and that quickly changed. Tessa was laughing when she hopped up, “Is that all you’ve got,” the umpire red carded her immediately.
Phoebe looked at her, “Don’t you go stealing all the fun, I want to play to,” Tessa laughed and B2 stood in front of her which made her laugh even harder, pissing B2 off.
“Hey nice seeing you again,” Tessa said doing a few jumps and twirled around. “All better, thanks for asking.”
B2 said nothing, oh boy Tessa thought. “Are you going to play nice today?” Tessa asked.
B2 smiled, “Not on your life.”
“That’s what I thought that’s why the cops came today,” Tessa said nodding to the bleachers; the whistle blew as B2 turned away and she darted out and grabbed the ball and headed towards the goal. She passed to Becca.
She went back to face B2. “Nice try Ross, no cops!”
“Not yet” she smiled, “try me,” Tessa hissed, “Did you see Luke’s mom?”
“What is she doing here,” she asked.
“She’s here to watch me play, because her son loves me,” she smiled and she wondered if he still felt that way.
“He told you that?” she asked shocked.
“Every day,” Tessa said.
B2 swung the stick and Tessa ducked, she was Red carded as well.
Tessa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Two down, one to go she thought, she looked over and the football practice had ended. A group of them were walking over, she saw her brother and Tommy but not Luke. She looked past them and saw Luke and Sadi talking, his head hung low. “And you thought you could change him?” she looked and it was B3.
“That girl has been the only one he has turned me down for and look, things have not changed,” she said without an ounce of nasty in her voice.
“So are you here to play or are you going to try to kick my ass again too,” Tessa asked with a defeated tone to her voice.
“Looks like your ass just got kicked, let’s play,” she said and smiled.
The whistle blew and they both went for the ball, Carly got it first. Tessa snagged it back and headed down the field, and Carly got it back and passed it down the field, Phoebe stopped it and passed to Becca and Carly grabbed it again. Tessa ran back towards them and couldn’t get it back. Carly shot at the goal and Jade caught it.
Jade hit it out and Carly took it back and made a goal.
Back at the line Tessa smiled, “Good shot,” and she glanced over towards Luke, Sadi was hugging him and he stood arms to his side.
Carly looked and saw to, “You going to let it happen again?” she asked and raised her eyebrow and smiled.
“Not a chance,” she said as the whistle blew. She took the ball and ran down for a goal. She hi fived her team mates and went back.
“Good shot Tessa Ross,” she smiled. The whistle blew, it was half time. “Hey you going to be okay?” she asked.
“Ya, I will be, and how about you?” Tessa asked.
“As long as I stay sober there is nothing there, just got caught up in a dirty game that’s all,” she said smiling looking at the ground.
“Did you know him when he was sober?” she asked.
“A little, I am sure he’s ok. We are all fucked up and have shitty family lives, you know the broken family kids that fall in the cracks, we are emotionally disturbed as my shrink says,” Carly smiled.
“My parents split a month ago, so I guess I am emotionally disturbed now as well,” Tessa said and they both laughed.
“Hey Tessa, Carly,” Luke said from behind them.
“Hi Luke,” Carly said. “How are you?” she asked.
“I’m well. Are you three still trying to kick my girlfriend’s ass?” he said.
“Well I’m good; the other two are red carded,” she said and laughed.
“You okay baby?” he asked Tessa.
She looked down, “Oh you’re mad at me? You asked me to apologize to her and I did,” he said.
“Holy shit,” Carly said laughing, “Luke Links is in love.”
Luke laughed at her, and his face turned red, “I am,” he said and pulled Tessa into his arms. “Sobriety and Tessa have been good for me,” he laughed and kissed Tessa’s head.
“Well Luke I am happy for you, truly I am,” Carly said, “It’s a work in progress but I am getting there too.”
Tessa looked at her and smiled, “I think you’re my favorite so far,” they laughed.
“See you in a few minutes Ross, so I can kick your ass up and down this field,” she said walking away.
Tessa looked up at him, “You’re not mad at me?”
Luke laughed, “I didn’t say that,” and he kissed her.
“Your Mom’s here,” she said beaming.
“No shit Tessa, you are my little ray of sunshine,” they walked over and said hello to his mother.
The game ended 3-1, they all walked back to the school. Tessa and her team went in and showered and changed. So did the boys. They met in the parking lot and Tessa ran to Luke and jumped into his arms. She kissed him wildly. “Slow down crazy girl,” he laughed.
“I love you Luke, I was so scared you were pissed at me,” she said kissing him.
“Let’s get something straight, I am pissed at you, or was, it hasn’t sunk in yet, but I love you anyways,” he winked and kissed her head. “So you threw up after our fight?” he asked and her face turned red. “Wow Tessa I have some effect on you don’t I,” he smiled and his eyes danced.
“Yep and it still scares me,” she admitted.
He looked past her and stiffened his stance. B1 and B2 were behind her, “So Luke you love this girl hu?” they asked in unison.
“Well hello Madison and Jamie,” Luke said annoyed.
Tessa looked up at him, “It’s like the movie where th
e ghosts come back and haunt the ex, so we have four down and how many to go?” she asked secretly hoping he would make things right with them too. He smiled at her and kissed her head.
“I do, are you two here to apologize?” he asked in an arrogant tone. Alex walked up, “You want to take her,” Luke asked.
“Anywhere she wants to go,” Alex said and pulled Tessa off Luke and carried her to the truck as she tried to wiggle free.
“Oh so that’s what you’re into now?’ Jamie said, “He’s hot I’ll play with him too,” she said and they both laughed as they checked Alex out.
“Nice ass,” they called after Alex.
The girls were at the truck and Phoebe was annoyed and started off after them. Alex grabbed her around the waist as she passed and carried them both to the back of the truck and plopped them on the tailgate.
“Wow you are strong,” Phoebe said and blushed and looked at the ground.
“And you’re feisty,” Alex said smiling at her.
She giggled and they stared at each other. Jade looked at Tommy and laughed, “Look at them, aren’t they cute,” Jade said and everyone heard them. “You have a date to homecoming Alex?”
“Not yet,” he said still looking at Phoebe.
“Well ask her then,” Jade smiled.
“Butt out Jade,” he said
Phoebe’s eyes looked sad as she looked down.
~
Tessa watched carefully as the two B’s stood in front of Luke, his hands deep in his pockets and shoulders sunk in.
“It’s her brother,” Luke said, “It’s not like that.”
“So what is it like?” Jamie said laughing.
“Yes do tell,” Madison asked.
“I am sorry for whatever it was we were doing. It was not right of me to treat you all like that,” Luke said.
“Oh shit Linksy, we are big girls and loved it. Carly may be out but there are still two of us that want to play,” Jamie said reaching for his waist band.
He moved away, “Knock it off; I am sorry if I hurt you in any way. This is done. I have a girlfriend and I love her. And you two are to leave her alone.”
They laughed, “If we don’t will you spank us?” Madison asked.
“We are done here,” Luke said and walked away.
“We will see you soon,” Madison called after him.
“Not a chance,” he yelled, staring at Tessa who was watching him.
Luke walked up to the truck and grabbed her, he pulled her behind him.
“I am supposed to give Phoebe a ride home Luke,” he turned looking wildly into Tessa’s eyes and bent down pushing his forehead into hers, breathing deeply.
“Alex I want to take Tessa home, could you give Phoebe a ride home?” Luke asked.
“I would love to,” Alex said smiling. Phoebe blushed and looked down.
Luke tossed his keys at Tessa, “You drive please to my house.”
He was acting odd, she didn’t argue, she jumped in the driver’s side and adjusted the seat and mirrors. He leaned his seat all the way back. She backed up as Jamie and Madison watched. “He’s letting her drive,” Jamie said
“Well that’s that,” Madison said sadly.
~
Tessa drove as he watched her; he grabbed her hand and held it to his chest, his heart was beating like crazy. She was so proud of him. He was trying to control his breathing, he looked damn good. She looked back at the road as she swerved to miss a deer. He sat up, “What was that.”
“A deer,” she said quietly, “Luke, are you mad at me?”
“No Tessa I am not I am just frustrated right now,” he said letting out a deep breath.
“Oh,” she said.
“Would you pull over up here there’s a turn around,” he told her.
She pulled over he turned off the car. She looked at him with wide eyes.
“Baby, I need to tell you what is going on with me right now and I need you to listen, can you do that for me,” Luke asked.
“Of course I would do anything for you,” she said.
“Fuck Tessa that’s not what I want to hear right now,” he whined.
“I’m sorry Luke I don’t know what you want me to say,” she said, she was getting scared.
“Tessa you know how hard it is for an alcoholic or drug abuser to stop using?” he asked.
“Yes I have read things about it,” she said softly.
He laughed at how damn innocent she was, she looked confused. She even looked hot when she was clueless, he thought.
“Ok so to clean up they have to stay away from their drug of choice right?” he said and she shook her head yes. “Now imagine someone was trying to clean up in a bar or frat house or I don’t know anywhere that stuff is available, well it would be impossible. Tessa my drug of choice is sex. And I feel like a fucking crack head that has a pipe surgically implanted in his body.”
“Luke how is sex like a drug? I don’t get it,” she said.
“Fuck Tessa,” he grabbed her hand and placed it on his pants, “This is what I’m talking about.”
Her jaw dropped and she quickly removed her hand, “You want them Luke?” she said as she felt her eyes get hot.
“No Tessa this didn’t happen there it happened as soon as I touched your hand. You are killing me,” he said and he punched the dash.
“Okay,” she said and placed her hand back on him and he pushed her hand away.
“No as soon as that happens things will change. I love you Tessa I don’t want things to change, you make me want to be a better person, you make me want to love you, you have loved me better than anyone and not because you have to but because it’s who you are,” he yelled. “I want to spend a very long time with you I am just scared that it will change. I am not willing to change that and it is like going through withdrawal.”
“So you’re never going to have sex with me?” she said. He laughed out loud and she looked at him confused. “Luke now you need to listen, sometimes I feel like you’re just waiting for this to fail and I will never feel what it’s like to have all of you,” his eyes got as big as saucers and he punched the car again and jumped out, she followed.
“Is this a game to you? Do you like to play with my head and make me feel like I am less desirable than any one of the dirty dozen Luke?” Tessa yelled.
“What are you talking about Tessa I am trying to be a better for you, I am not playing a game,” he yelled at her.
Holy shit she was going to lose him she thought, “Am I an experiment? A new toy? I don’t know Luke I want you badly and you keep telling me how much you don’t want me, I am confused this is all new to me, if it is going to work with us,” she said walking towards him “it will work because of here,” she said touching his heart, “the bonus will be here,” she said pointing down.
Luke looked at her, “I know you know that Tessa and I wish that I had been brought up to feel that way. I want to change. I have looked four girls in the eyes today knowing they are as fucked up as I am and told them I was sorry because it’s the right thing to do, because in the short time I have known you I have learned that.”
“Ok,” Tessa said.
“OK what Tessa?” Luke asked.
“I don’t know,” she cried, “I don’t know how to make you feel better, if we have sex it’ll get old for you, if we try to be friends I think I will die without knowing you love me, I don’t know what to say or do all I know is right now I feel helpless and stupid and my heart breaks for you,” he hugged her. “I would stay here forever with you Luke if I knew that it would make you happy she whispered,” her tears had stopped, she had no more. “I know that I love you and I am happy and feel loved when I am with you, but what just happened crushes me, it hurts, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep you happy, but it has to be forever and I know right now you don’t feel like it can work but if you just try hard maybe it can, I’m not going anywhere.”
“I should get you home,” he whispered.
T
hey drove for awhile in silence and finally she spoke, “You ok?”
“I am better now as long as I have you,” he said.
“Remember at the game I told you to think of something unpleasant when you feel like you’re going to explode? You should do that,” she said.
He laughed, “Okay I will.”
“Got any ideas?” she asked.
“None yet,” he smiled.
“Okay we will work on that,” Tessa said.
He walked her to the door of the farm house; he hugged her tight and kissed her head, if he kissed her mouth he may not want to stop, “I love you Tessa Ross.”
“I Love You. See you in the morning, drive safely. Text me when you get home please,” she walked in the house.
~
The kids were in bed. Tessa’s dad was asleep on the couch. Tessa did the dishes in the sink and made lunch for school. She swept and mopped the floor and went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth and washed her face. She switched laundry and got into bed.
Her phone chimed
-I am home safely; I love you more now than yesterday, thank you Tessa for being you…LYA Luke
- I feel blessed having you in my life Lucas Links, I thought of something….LYA Tessa
-I thought of something too, losing you…LYA Luke
-That is so sweet all I could think of was dead puppies:) ….LYA Tessa
-You make me laugh harder than anyone I have ever met…LYA Luke
-I am a very funny girl…LYA Tessa
Chapter 11
It was Friday and he met her with flowers at her locker. Yellow roses and white daisies, she looked at him and she felt her eyes get wet.
“Damn Tessa they were supposed to make you be happy,” he said.
“I am,” she hugged him “It’s just two days ago I was afraid I would lose you and today you’re here with flowers, I love you, they are beautiful,” she kissed him as if they were alone and she didn’t want to stop.
He pulled away and put his forehead to hers and whispered “Dead Puppies,” over and over again.
