He felt as if he balanced on a very tricky edge. Faced with Joyce’s real pain, the knowledge of Zeke’s latest will seared his mind. Zeke was everything Joyce and Cory had always said he was. In spite of his fine words to Joyce, Matthew knew that he hadn’t believed Cory until he experienced for himself the very nature of Zeke Smith. They were both right. Had been right all along.
“I want him to leave, Cory,” Joyce said quietly.
“No, Mom,” Cory said, stroking her mother’s hair. “I asked him to stay for supper.”
Joyce lifted her face, palming away the tears, staring at Cory. “He was your date last night, wasn’t he?”
Matthew listened to the mother and daughter, a slow pain building in his chest at what he heard. Cory hadn’t told her mother she had been with him.
“Yes, he was,” Cory said quietly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I knew it would upset you.”
“I would have stopped you.”
“You wouldn’t have, Mother. I would have gone anyhow.” Cory looked over at Matthew, her smile reassuring. “I wanted to see him,” she said, her eyes holding his. “I wanted to be with him. You see, I’ve liked him for years.”
Her quiet admission eased his pain. When she got up to stand beside him, he couldn’t stop himself from catching her hand, squeezing it tightly.
Joyce sat in stony silence not looking at either of them. Matthew thought of the last time he saw her in church. At that time both Cory and her mother treated him the same. Now Joyce sat alone in her anger, and Cory stood trustingly by his side.
“He’s not to be trusted, Cory,” Joyce said quietly.
“Why do you say that? You don’t know him.”
Joyce looked up at her, shaking her head. “And you don’t either, my girl. Before last night you felt the same way I did. Don’t be a fool like me and fall for a charming smile and a handsome face.” And with those words hanging in the air, Joyce got carefully up and walked back to her bedroom.
Cory watched her go, and Matthew could see the pain in her face. He felt her gently tug on his hand. For a moment he wanted to hang on, to keep her at his side, to keep her away from the bitter anger of her mother and the truth.
But he let her go.
“I’ll be right back,” Cory said, walking backwards down the hall. “Don’t go.”
Matthew shoved his hands in his pockets, smiling sadly as she turned and entered her mother’s bedroom.
He smelled something and ran to the stove. He turned the heat off under the pan, pulled it off the element and stared with consternation at the burnt omelette.
“So much for supper,” he muttered, dropping the smoking pan into the sink. He cleaned it up as best he could, then put the pan back on the stove.
“I’m sorry,” Cory said behind him. “I forgot about it.”
Matthew turned, leaning back against the counter. “I wasn’t hungry, anyway.”
Cory walked toward Matthew and reaching up, pressed her fingers against his forehead. “Stop frowning, Matthew. Everything will be fine.”
“Can I see you again?” he asked, almost desperately.
Cory’s smile lit up her face, reassuring him. “Of course.”
“I have to sit in on a meeting for Nathan on Saturday. But can I pick you up on Sunday? For church?”
“That would be nice.”
“Good.” He shifted his weight, feeling suddenly awkward. “I’ll see you then.” He laid his hands on her shoulders, drew her close and kissed her once more.
Just one more time together, he thought, holding her close. Then I’ll tell her. Sometime next week, I’ll tell her.
“You look particularly ravishing for a Saturday morning,” Kelsey said as Cory laid an order on the counter for the cooks.
Cory glanced down at her apron already stained with tomato sauce, her shirt wrinkled and damp at the back. “Oh, very ravishing,” she said with a sardonic smile. “I’m expecting a photographer for Today’s Christian Woman for an exclusive interview.”
Kelsey propped herself against the counter, pursing her lips as she looked her friend over. “Of course you are. And she or he is going to do an article on, ‘What the Woman in Love Looks Like.’”
Cory tried to frown, but couldn’t. It was as if her face refused to cooperate. “Well, I certainly don’t look ravishing,” she said.
“Wow. Snappy comeback, Cory. You’re definitely twitter-pated, my girl.” Kelsey just grinned.
“I’m not. I’m busy is what I am.”
“And is the very charming and handsome Mr. McKnight coming into the restaurant today?”
Cory turned to her friend, shaking her head. “No. He’s gone to a meeting for Nathan in another town.”
“Oh. So we know his comings and goings do we?” Kelsey caught her friend by the arm and pulled her into a narrow hallway, away from the kitchen and the dining area, her eyes shining with anticipation. “I heard you guys were together in the Prairie Inn the other night.” Kelsey waved an admonishing finger. “Patronizing the competition, are we?”
“Matthew asked me out.” Cory stopped herself. “No. He had to talk to me about the will.” Cory couldn’t stop the flush from creeping up her neck as she remembered that night and then yesterday. Matthew’s gentle touch, his concern, his expression of love.
“So, are you in love?”
“Kelsey, stop it,” Cory reprimanded, the flush warming her cheeks now.
“Guilty as charged,” crowed Kelsey, squeezing her friend’s arm. “You do love him, don’t you?”
Cory felt it again. The faint hesitation. “I care for him,” she said carefully, avoiding Kelsey’s avid gaze. “He’s really nice….”
“Oh, no,” Kelsey wailed. “I hear that ‘but’ in your voice. Why are you doing this to yourself?”
Cory bit her lip, shaking her head. “I’ve never felt this way about any guy before.” Now she looked at Kelsey, bewildered. “And I’m scared.”
“Of what? He’s good-looking, he’s got all his teeth, he’s got a good job. He goes to church. Honey, it doesn’t get much better.”
How could Cory explain it to Kelsey who had grown up with security—parents who were still together, who lived in the same town they were born in? Kelsey’s previous husband had been a wonderful man, according to Kelsey. “I guess I keep thinking about Zeke,” she said quietly. “He’s been the only significant male in my life, and you know how horrible that was.” Cory stopped, knowing Kelsey wouldn’t truly understand. “My mother keeps telling me to be careful. Not to trust him.”
“Do you?”
Cory stopped. “I don’t know,” she said softly. “I trust him to tell the truth, to take care of me.”
“So what’s left?”
“What if he changes, Kelsey? What if he is just like my stepfather? Lately Mom has been pining over my brothers, and I think how much you open yourself up to pain when you care for someone.” Cory took a deep breath and looked her friend in the eye. “I’m scared, Kelsey. I’m scared because I know when I let myself, I will love him too much. And then he’ll have control over me. I said I’d never let that happen again as long as I live.”
“Oh, Cory…” Kelsey pulled Cory into a long hug. “It’s not about control. Love is never about control. It’s about caring and sacrifice and doing the best for each other.” Kelsey drew away, bracketing Cory’s face with her hands. “When you love someone you open yourself to hurt. That’s what happens when you give someone your heart. But if you keep your heart to yourself, you end up old and withered and alone. Your mom went through a lot. I know that. But don’t let her influence how you feel about Matthew. Please, don’t.”
Kelsey’s pleading tone, the sincerity in her face, melted the last defense Cory had erected against Matthew. She smiled and let herself be hugged once again.
“Thanks, Kelsey. You’re a true friend.” Cory sniffed, blinking back a sudden surge of tears.
“Of course I am.” Kelsey lau
ghed, her own voice thick with emotion. “And you’re too special to me to let this wonderful chance slip through your fingers. Trust that God wants to do good things in your life.”
Chapter Twelve
“You’re not coming to church?” Cory sat beside her mother on the couch, her hand resting lightly on her shoulder.
“No.”
“Are you in a lot of pain today?”
“No more than usual. I don’t feel like it. That’s all.” Joyce sighed lightly. “I know you want to be with that Matthew fellow, and I just can’t sit by and watch that happen.”
“Mother, stop it. I don’t know why you dislike him so much.”
“Yes, you do, Cory. Because one time you felt the same.”
“Once I did. But he asked me to forgive him. And I have.” She hesitated, knowing that she wasn’t entirely sure of her own emotions in the matter. Matthew had confused her most of her life. It was only the past few days that everything felt right and true and good. Yet her feelings were so new and untried. “I can’t withhold forgiveness when it’s been asked. Not when God has forgiven me so much.”
Joyce sighed lightly, nodding her head. “I know, I know. But I’m worried for you.” She turned to her daughter and took her hand in her own. “He’s charming, Cory. Just like your dad. I made a big mistake once, Cory. Don’t do the same.”
Cory felt her mother’s words lightly touch on her own misgivings, but refused to dwell on it.
“Our relationship, if I can dare call it that, started with him asking my forgiveness. I don’t think that’s a dangerous place to start from.”
“Maybe not. But be careful with your heart, my dear. I know you. Once you give it, you give it all. I’ve had too much sorrow in my life. I want only what’s best for you.” Joyce reached up and stroked Cory’s cheek. “You’re all I’ve got left, Cory.”
Cory laid her head on her mother’s. “I love you, Mom. I always will. But you need to know that I think I really care for Matthew.”
“Just be careful,” she said, pressing Cory’s hand against her cheek. “And say a prayer for me, would you?”
“I always do.” Cory laid a gentle kiss on her mother’s cheek, then got up.
“You look lovely, by the way,” Joyce said, leaning back to look at her daughter. “You so seldom wear a dress.”
“It looks okay?” she asked, running her hands down the clean lines of the navy shift. “I mean, it’s not too dowdy, or plain?”
“Simple is always best, Cory.” Joyce tilted her head to one side, considering. “You might want to add something. Just to soften the neckline. Go get that silk aqua scarf. The one I got from—” She stopped. “From Zeke for my birthday.”
Cory paused a moment, hearing a mixture of pain and sorrow in her voice. “You sound sad.”
“No.” Joyce shook her head. “I’m not.”
“But you always sound sad when you talk about him.”
Joyce waved her away. “Just get the scarf, and I’ll tie it for you. Bring that gold pin, too.”
The subject was closed.
Cory went to her mother’s bedroom, found the accessories and brought them back, sitting beside Joyce.
Joyce draped the scarf around the dress’s plain neckline and pinned it carefully. “I got this pin from your father, you know. Your real father.” Joyce looked past Cory, as if into another place and time. “Now he was a good man. A very good man and a good father to your brothers….” She stopped abruptly, turning back to Cory, fussing with the scarf.
“You are thinking about the boys, aren’t you?”
Joyce finished pinning the broach. “Yes,” she confessed. “Yes I was. I’ve been thinking about them more lately. How are they doing? Are they happy? I just can’t let it go.”
“Of course you can’t. I think about them often, too.”
Joyce smiled. “Wouldn’t it be nice…” She gave a short laugh. “Wouldn’t it be nice if life was easy and simple? But it isn’t, Cory. You remember that.”
Cory knew she now referred to Matthew and let the comment slide. “I’m going now, Mom. Take it easy, okay? And I hope you feel better soon.”
Joyce stroked her gently on the cheek. “Well, my hopes are for you, Cory.”
A knock on the door broke the moment and with an eager glance over her shoulder, Cory got up. She looked back at her mother. “I’ll be praying for you,” she said, blowing her a kiss. Then she almost flew to the door.
She pulled it open and there stood Matthew. His pose was relaxed—hands tucked into the pockets of his tan suit pants. His hair was tamed, but only slightly. But he was chewing his lower lip and the sight of his lack of confidence gave her a warm thrill.
“You look lovely,” he said simply.
Cory fingered the scarf. “Thanks,” she said, unable to find anything wittier to say. “I suppose we should go.”
Matthew tilted his head to one side, as if considering. “Is your mother up?”
Cory glanced hesitantly back over her shoulder. “Yes, she is.”
“Good.” Matthew stepped inside the small porch and, taking Cory’s hand, walked to the doorway of the living room. “I just thought I would say hi, Joyce,” he said, smiling at Joyce.
Joyce looked up, her expression neutral. “Not only did you think it, you did it.”
“Do you mind if I take Cory out after church? Or should I bring her directly home?” Matthew asked.
“You’re probably going to do what you like, won’t you?”
“No. I’m going to do what Cory wants.” Matthew squeezed her hand and Cory felt a sudden rush of affection for him.
“Well, then, don’t ask me, ask her.” Joyce waved them off.
“I hope you have a good day,” Matthew said.
Cory glanced at her mother and was surprised to see her expression soften, a faint smile curve her lips. In spite of her mother’s animosity, Matthew’s charm worked on Joyce as well. “I hope so, too,” Joyce said finally. “Now you’d better go or you’re going to be late.”
Matthew winked at Cory, then with a tug on her hand, pulled her out the door.
Outside, he whistled lightly, swinging their joined hands as he walked down the walk. He raised his face to the sun. “This is a beautiful day, isn’t it, Cory?”
She smiled at him, as he turned his head to face her. “That it is,” she agreed.
They weren’t late as Joyce had predicted and managed to find a place somewhere in the middle of the church. They were greeted with a few raised eyebrows, a few perceptive glances, as if some people were not surprised these two would find each other.
Once again, Cory felt self-conscious and once again Matthew took it all in stride. He greeted the people he knew and as they settled into their pew, scanned the bulletin without any apparent concern. Almost casually he slipped his arm around her, his fingers trailing on her shoulder. He glanced sidelong at her, gave her a wink and Cory relaxed.
The service began and Cory let herself be drawn along by the singing, the comfort found in the Bible readings, the encouragement from the minister’s sermon.
Beside her Matthew sang easily, familiar with all the songs. He listened intently to the minister. Toward the end of the sermon, Matthew tucked Cory’s arm under his, holding her hand tightly between his hands.
For the first time in many years, Cory felt contentment stealing over her. She felt as if all the anger, the confusion, and the fear had been gently wiped away by God’s love and by the caring shown her by Matthew.
She felt safe. Cared for.
Just before they bowed their heads, she chanced another look at Matthew, appreciating his appeal, his charm.
Her mother’s warning came back to her, darkening the moment, bringing up the few misgivings she herself harbored at times.
Please, Lord, show me that this is true, she prayed, clinging to his hand. Show me that this is real. I want to care for him, I want to trust him. Help me.
Slowly as she prayed she felt a gentle easi
ng away of her misgivings. When the prayer was over, she still clung to Matthew’s hand as they got up to receive the blessing. She didn’t care who saw.
As they walked out of church, Cory felt someone grab her arm.
“Hey, there, Cory. How’s it going?”
Cory glanced over her shoulder at Kelsey who was grinning from ear to ear. “Fine, Kelsey. Just fine,” Cory said hesitantly. She hoped Kelsey would behave herself.
Kelsey glanced at Matthew with a knowing look. “I see that.”
Matthew looked back and winked at Kelsey. “Good to see you again. How’s the restaurant business?”
“Don’t ask.” Kelsey waved away his question. “So. I take it you guys don’t mind coaching together for a while yet?”
“You take it correctly,” Matthew said.
“Great.” Kelsey grinned at the two of them. “I’d love to chat some more, but I promised Chris I would take him for a drive today. I’ll see you soon, Matthew.” Kelsey tapped Cory on the shoulder. “And I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Cory watched her friend go, shaking her head. “Maybe I’ll call in sick,” she said with a sigh.
“Why don’t you?” Matthew agreed, giving her hand another squeeze. “I’ve got to sit in on a hearing I don’t feel like going to. I’d sooner play hooky. We could spend the day together.”
The slight thrill she felt at the notion of being with Matthew all day was tempered by what he said. “So you won’t be in tomorrow?”
Matthew sighed and shook his head. “Afraid not. But I’ll be in on Tuesday. First thing in the morning in my usual spot.”
“I’ll be looking for you,” she said.
“I wish I didn’t have to go, but life flows on.” He slanted her a sideways look, his mouth curved up to one side, his dimple firmly in place.
He was such a charmer, Cory thought, her heart skipping at his surreptitious look. He turned his head, then, his expression suddenly became serious.
It was a hold-your-breath moment, she thought, still holding his hand, still surrounded by people. But for that split second there was nobody else but Matthew.
They were jostled by other churchgoers moving past them and Cory looked away. The day had become that much brighter.
A Family At Last Page 14
