by Walsh, Chloe
I had screamed my head off at him when he’d showed up, two days after I had the operation that removed my fallopian tube and my dead baby inside it.
I’d told Mike to leave…But he didn’t.
Unlike Kyle, Mike had stayed, and he’d taken everything I threw at him- and I had thrown a lot.
I’d had a lot of dark moments in the first two weeks; fear, doubt, anger, injustice were all potent emotions that had been swirling inside me at the start. When those feelings had lifted, a cloud of sadness took place. But Mike had stuck around on my worst days. And then he’d kept coming back.
He’d told me he was sorry he didn’t tell me that he and Kyle were brothers, that the guilt was eating him. He’d said that he wished he’d warned me from the start, about Rachel, but to be fair, he hadn’t known I was involved with Kyle, until I was so deeply devoted, that even I had to admit, I probably wouldn’t have believed him.
Mike hadn’t known about Rachel’s trickery and had been horrified over the lies Rachel had spun Kyle.
I had been, too.
It wasn’t every day you met a girl, who would go to the extremes of faking a pregnancy and hysterectomy, to secure a man for money.
God, I hated that bitch.
Rachel Grayson would forever be on my shit list.
I’d accepted Mike’s apology because he was my friend. He’d been my friend before I was ever involved with his brother. I accepted his comfort and friendship because I needed it. I needed one person in my life that was solely there for me.
As good as Cam was to me, and as nice as Derek was, they were Kyle’s friends too, and dragging them into the middle of this was unfair.
A tiny part of my conscience, protested that I was using Mike, but I needed him right now. Mike was mine, not Kyle’s.
I had a lot to thank both Mike and Cam for. Even though they weren’t overly keen on each other, they had both spent a ridiculous amount of time over the past six weeks, visiting me.
“You sure? Have you got some papers you need to sign?” Mike asked, interrupting my reverie.
“I just have to wait for the nurse to return with the papers,” I replied, tugging my overstretched t-shirt down over my thighs.
It was embarrassing as hell that my jeans didn’t tie.
I’d been wearing pajamas for the six weeks and hadn’t noticed how much extra weight I’d gained. But my clothes had.
Earlier, when I was tying my jeans, I had a ‘fat moment,’ when they only zipped half way. They were catching on my butt and my widely spreading hips. And if my hips weren’t big enough before; they now seemed to be two inches on the wrong side of curvy.
The swell of my belly was prominent now, but it looked like I’d gained a few pounds of fat, than the look of being five months pregnant.
Five months.
I still found it crazy to believe, that I had sailed through more than three months of pregnancy without knowing. It was unsettling.
There was a knock on the door and I grimaced when a nurse rolled a wheelchair into my room.
“Are you ready to go home, Miss Bennett?” She asked chirpily.
I zipped up my suitcase and smiled.
I wasn’t anywhere close to being ready, but I slapped on my brightest smile. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Secretly, I was petrified.
The thought of facing Kyle, and the possibility of seeing Rachel again, made it hard to keep my breathing even. I didn’t want to face him.
Our last conversation had ended badly. But I had nowhere else to go, and not enough money in the bank to last me longer than a week or two in a motel. As for returning to work, the idea made me light headed. I couldn’t escape him.
“This is so cool, Lee. Do you think they’ll let you keep this?” Mike asked, plopping himself into the chair and wheeling around the room.
It was hospital policy to leave in a wheelchair, completely unnecessary, but unavoidable.
“Why? Are you planning on needing one sometime in the future?” I asked, amused at the excitement on Mike’s face.
Men…
“You will need one, and a surgeon to remove my foot from your intestine, if you don’t get up and let your girlfriend sit down,” said the unfamiliar nurse, who was a leaning against the door, along with another lady I didn’t recognize.
I blushed and Mike jumped up from the chair, rolling his hand out lavishly in front of him, gesturing me to sit.
“I’m not his girlfriend,” I muttered as I sat down quickly.
Ignoring my correction, the nurse introduced herself as Mary, and the lady with her, as one of the hospital administrators- a short, frazzled looking blonde named Lizzie, with an alarming amount of paperwork in her hands.
My palms trickled with sweat at the sight of all those forms she was clutching. I had no freaking clue how I was going to be able to pay for over a month’s worth of hospital bills.
I was about to ask if they had a payment plan, when Lizzie handed me two sheets of paper from the bundle.
“Now, Miss Bennett, all I need from you is a couple of signatures. If you could sign under the patient signature line here and here, you’ll be good to go,” she said, dropping a pen on top of the rather intimidating forms in my lap.
I looked at her, confused, and back at the papers.
“What about my bill? Do you have a payment plan I can take on?” I asked, scrawling my signature under the printed version on one page, and then the other.
“No need. Your bill has been paid in advance.”
I snapped my head up to frown at her. “No, you must be confusing me with someone else; I haven’t made an advanced payment. I don’t have a credit card.”
Lizzie was confusing me with another patient, but the puzzled look on her face indicated that she thought that I was the confused one.
“No, there is no confusion, Miss Bennett,” she mused, flicking through her paperwork. “Yes, your bill has been covered in full by a Mr. Carter.”
She handed me a form, and there it was, Kyle’s signature and credit card details. My heart fluttered in my chest a little as reality smacked me straight between the two eyes; he’d gone behind my back again.
Son of a bitch.
“That’s great,” Mike interrupted, taking the papers from me and handing them back, before clasping the handles of the wheelchair. “I’ll take her from here.”
*****
I was still sulking when the car pulled up outside the familiar two story house on 13th street.
Goddamn Kyle, and his stupid freaking money.
I wanted to pay my own way- I didn’t have a clue how- but he’d just gone over my head on a decision that included me again. He couldn’t freaking buy his way out of his problems. I was so sick of him throwing his money around. I didn’t want a dime.
Mike killed the engine and opened his door. I grabbed his arm quickly. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”
Mike coming inside was a terrible idea. Kyle would freak. I was ninety-nine percent sure he wasn’t at home, but I didn’t want to take that one percent chance and risk another fight. I’d had and seen enough of those, to last me a lifetime.
Oh, I was going to speak to him about paying my hospital, but not right away. I needed to speak to him with a clear head and calm temper. Right now, I had neither of those.
Mike frowned at me incredulously. “Are you joking? You think I’m letting you carry those cases yourself?” He scoffed and climbed out of the car. Oh boy.
Moving around to the trunk, Mike swung my duffel bag over his shoulder and held my suitcase in the other. “No way are you carrying these bags, Lee. You’ve just had surgery and you’re pregnant. Not a chance.”
I reluctantly got out and walked up the driveway to open the door. My fingers shook as I placed the key in the lock and turned.
My key still worked, a small relief.
I hadn’t been totally sure if Kyle had changed the locks or not. I didn’t know where his head was at, or where I
stood regarding my living situation for that matter, and I knew that was my fault for banning him from the hospital and refusing to talk to him, but at the time it had seemed like a good idea to give myself a chance to lick my wounds.
But now that I was away from the protective blanket of the hospital, and faced with the cold hard reality that was my life, I was thinking that I may have been ridiculous in my assumption that I could avoid Kyle.
Standing in the doorway of his house, it hit me, that all I had been doing was delaying the inevitable.
I must have stood there for a long time mulling it all over because Mike walked around me and pushed the door open.
“You can change your mind you know,” he said gently. “You don’t have to stay here, Lee. Come home with me. I have a ridiculously comfortable futon in my apartment.”
I mightn’t have known where I stood with Kyle, but I wasn’t stupid enough to take Mike up on his offer.
Accepting Mike’s invitation to stay would be as hazardous as moving home to Montgomery, except in this instance, it would be Mike’s health in danger, not mine.
I inhaled a shaky breath and shook my head. “I’ll be okay.”
I stepped into the hallway. It looked the same as it had the last time I’d been here-if not a little cleaner.
Yes, it was the same small hallway, the same red bricked house, just a different Lee.
The girl I had been the last time I was here, was worlds apart from the woman I was now.
Six weeks mightn’t be a long enough transitioning time frame for an average person, but loss, grief, and impending motherhood had certainly sped up the process for me.
“I’ll just take your stuff up to your room,” Mike said quietly as he headed for the stairs with my bags.
I made my way into the kitchen, amazed at how different everything looked, when it was exactly the same as always.
I filled the kettle with water and turned it on. I supposed the least I could do for Mike was give him a cup of coffee. Leaving the kettle to boil, I wandered back through the hallway to the living room.
“Bruno?”
No barking, weird...
I had expected my old chocolate lab to greet me when I walked in the front door. Usually, he had that sixth doggy sense and knew when I was close by.
Walking back through the kitchen, I slid the patio door open and stepped outside.
The small, snow covered garden was empty. It was just as well, since it was freezing outside. I would have been seriously pissed if my roommates had left Bruno outside in these temperatures.
They might be used to this weather, but Bruno and I were southerners. This amount of snow and ice was alien to us.
I pulled my old green coat around myself tightly.
“You looking for someone?”
My heart stopped, and then kick started in my chest, hammering furiously against my ribs.
I swung around slowly, trying to quell the sudden and extreme burst of emotion charging through me from the sound of his voice.
It did no good though; the moment our eyes locked I was a mess. A vicious tremor rolled through my body.
I thought over a month away would prepare me, make me somewhat immune, but no, I was still every bit affected by him.
Kyle stood at the back door, legs parted, cheeks flushed from the cold.
He looked every inch as handsome as I remembered; more, dressed in gray sweat pants and a blue hoodie. His sharp blue eyes were focused on me, and his dark hair was hidden under a gray beanie hat.
I briefly wondered how he could stand the cold, wearing only a hoodie. It wasn’t exactly warm in Boulder during the month of February, but my thoughts were interrupted by the sight of what Kyle was holding.
In his left hand was a leash, connecting to the collar of my dog.
My eyes darted back to Kyle’s face and I clasped my hands together, in a bid to ease the trembling.
He tilted his head to the side, eyes locked on mine, burning me. “Hey, baby.”
His voice was like melted chocolate to a fat kid. And I was a fat kid, and he was my cake.
Dangerous cake. I needed to remember that, but all the anger I’d been feeling on the drive home had evaporated, and all I was left with was an uncomfortable ball of nerves in my belly. Well, that and some serious appreciation for the sheer beauty of him.
Stop thinking like that, stupid.
“Hi,” I replied meekly.
Bruno whined as he pulled on the collar, trying to drag Kyle towards me, but Kyle held him back, his eyes never leaving mine.
I frowned.
Since when did those two get along? The last time I’d seen those two together, Kyle had been getting the ‘I want to use your ankle as a chew toy’ scowl from my dog. Obviously things had changed around here.
Kyle crouched down beside Bruno, wrapping an arm around his neck affectionately.
“I know you’re excited to see her, boy,” he said to the dog, petting him. “So am I. But we gotta be careful with her, she’s growing my baby in that belly of hers.”
My breath caught and I turned away from him quickly to wipe the tears from my eyes.
How could he do it so easily? Rip down my defenses and tear my heart open with words.
“So, you and Bruno are walking buddies now?” I asked, when speaking became manageable. My voice was thick with emotion, betraying the lightness of my question.
Kyle smiled crookedly, his eyes twinkling as he stood up and stretched. “Yeah, he’s kinda growing on me.”
The dimple in his cheek deepened, softening his masculine features, making him look more his twenty-two years.
Jesus, he was so attractive. I hoped the baby inherited those dimples.
Turning around, Kyle slid the patio open the door open and nudged Bruno inside, while I averted my eyes from checking out his tight little butt in those sweats.
Oh, I was so doomed.
Closing the door on Bruno, he strode toward me, not stopping until his sneakers brushed against mine.
I tried to take a step back, but I couldn’t move a muscle. All I could do, was stare up at the man my heart and soul were screaming out for, but my brain distrusted so vehemently.
His gaze swept over me lazily, and it took every piece of my self-control to stand there and let him. His searing appraisal of my body affected me no end.
“You’re back,” he stated, looking me over once more, his eyes lingering on my midsection for a moment, before returning to my face.
I let out a breath and nodded. “I’m back.”
“You look good, Lee.”
I hovered awkwardly. So we were going to make small talk? I could make small talk.
“Thanks,” I said, twiddling my fingers nervously. “But we both know that’s not true.”
The pregnancy glow that everyone talked about had skipped me. I was pale and washed out and swollen.
Maybe, if I was as tall as Cam, I could take the extra pounds more gracefully, but my five-two full figure already had enough cushioning. Adding baby weight to the mix, made me look more like a small sausage than a glowing first time mom to be.
And Kyle, he looked…perfect.
He stretched a hand out and brushed one of my wayward curls behind my ear. His touch burned me.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, cupping my cheek.
I briefly allowed myself to lean into his touch. I missed this. I missed him. I hated myself for my weakness, but it was there, prominent and urging me toward him.
He let out a sigh. “I’m so fucking glad you’re home, princess. I’ve missed you like crazy. I didn’t know you were getting out today, I would’ve…”
“Lee, I put your bags in the second room on the right, that’s yours right…Oh, hey, sorry, I didn’t realize he was here.”
Kyle’s entire body stiffened at the sound of Mike’s voice and I jerked away from him, moving towards where Mike was standing at the door.
“What the fuck is he doing here Lee?” Kyle dem
anded.
He moved quickly, planting himself firmly between me and my escape route.
And so it begins.
“Kyle, calm down,” Mike warned.
I stepped around Kyle, only to find myself sandwiched between the brothers, one cool and quiet, the other vibrating with angry energy.
“Is your name Lee, asshole?” Kyle shot back before focusing his attention on me. “Why is he in my house, Lee?”
I took a steadying breath. I was not getting into this macho crap. “He is my friend, Kyle. He gave me a ride from the hospital, that’s all. Don’t make a big deal out of this.”
Kyle’s nostrils flared and hurt flickered in his eyes. “Why didn’t you ask me to pick you up? Or ask Cam? You never said…Told Cam, you were being discharged.”
I shrugged and stepped sideways, dodging both men. I went inside. If they wanted to freeze their butts off outside, well, good for them.
I caught Bruno’s paws with my hands just as he jumped at my stomach. I staggered back slightly, the weight of Bruno knocking me off kilter.
“I just didn’t, okay,” I muttered. “I thought it would be better if Mike dropped me home.”
“Better for whom? Goddammit, Bruno, get off of her,” Kyle cursed as he rushed towards me, pulling Bruno away.
“I’m fine, Kyle, I won’t break.”
The look on Kyle’s face said he wanted to argue that statement, but he wisely kept his mouth shut.
I couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of the pained look in his eyes.
“Well,” Mike said brightly, closing the patio door. “The family reunion has been fun, but I gotta hit the road. I’ve got a shift at the hotel in an hour.”
He wedged between us -I can only assume on purpose-as he walked out of the kitchen. “Call me later, Lee, if you need anything.”
I muttered a thank you and Kyle strung out an impressive array of f-bombs.
Kyle glared at me. “You are not calling him.”
I felt myself stiffen. “I’m sorry, but was that a question? Because it sure as hell sounded like you were telling me what to do. You don’t get to order me around, Kyle, not anymore. Mike is my friend. He is trying to be supportive.”
