by Walsh, Chloe
“Do I look like I’m joking?” she growled, before continuing her sobbing. “And now, you’re laughing at me.”
Christ, she went from angry, to sad, to angry in sixty seconds flat.
I tried to smother my smile, and pulled her towards me.
“Don’t hug me. I’m mad at you,” she whispered, even though she had a death grip on my shirt. She clung to me like a little monkey.
I could get used to this.
“I know, baby. I’m a horrible, selfish bastard,” I crooned, stroking her head, rubbing her back slowly.
I could feel her nodding against my shoulder as her body slowly relaxed.
“You are,” she agreed, sniffling, as she slipped her hands under my t-shirt.
“And fat. I’m fat, too,” I coaxed, hoping she wouldn’t stop touching me.
“So fat,” she breathed, as her hands roamed up my chest.
Holy shit.
I moved to sit beside her, and without breaking contact with her, I pulled her onto my lap.
She straddled me, snuggling into my chest as she cried and felt me up, at the same time.
“Don’t forget ugly,” I added, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
She seemed to warm from insulting me, so I was all for it. I’d say just about anything she wanted to hear.
Lee turned her face towards me, at the same moment I did, and our lips brushed.
I froze, and Lee sucked in a sharp breath.
“You’re a very bad man,” she murmured.
I wasn’t sure who moved first, but suddenly our lips were welded together.
My hand trailed up to cusp the side of her face.
“So bad,” I agreed, fucking thrilled from the sensation of Lee’s mouth against mine. Her lips were soft, swollen and melted perfectly against mine.
I knew this was probably going to come back and bite me in the ass, but Lee in my lap, with her lips on my mouth, after six weeks of doubt and insecurity made it totally worth it.
I shifted back on the bed, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. Her mouth opened as she sighed, and I slipped my tongue inside, desperate to taste her.
Jesus, she was even more delicious than I remembered. It had been a long fucking six weeks, and I wanted what was mine. She was mine. She just needed to realize that.
I could hold her forever…
Our tongues collided, brushing against the other, taking slow swipes and licks that were driving me out of my mind, and loosening what little hold I had on my self-control.
I groaned into her mouth, unable to conceal my excitement, or my desire. I was fucking hard, and pressing against the softest part of her body.
Lee’s hands tangled in my hair, tugging eagerly, as she grinded her hips.
I slipped my hands under her shirt and caressed her bare skin with trembling fingers. I trailed my hands down her spine, over the curve of her hips, her waist and back up.
She moaned deeply when my fingers trailed over swell of her breast. I cupped her softly, my dick straining against my jeans, as her nipple hardened in my hand.
The sound of a door banging downstairs, and then Cam and Derek’s angry voices, filled my ears.
“All I’m saying, is stay out of their business. Lee and Kyle are adults.” I heard Derek shout.
Their voices quickly doused the fire of desire building between us. Well, I was still hard as a rock and raring to go, but Lee jerked off from my lap, scrambling away on shaky legs.
“Oh, god,” she gasped, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.
I stood up and moved toward Lee, but she held a hand out, warning me off.
“That was a mistake,” she whispered, her gray eyes wide and unblinking. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
I clenched my fists at my sides, trying to keep a lid on my frustrations. I didn’t expect Lee to take me back easily. But I’d felt her hunger, tasted how much she’d wanted me. It was all in her kiss. It was all in the way she’d grinded her hot little pussy against me.
“You’re wrong, princess,” I said, stepping towards her. “You’re so fucking wrong. That was right, felt right, you can’t deny it.”
Lee shook her head. “It was a momentary blip. I’m sorry.”
I narrowed my eyes in disbelief.
Lee could shake her head all she wanted, but her flushed cheeks, and rapid breathing, proved how turned on she was. Not to mention how hard her nipples were, they were straining against her top…
“Momentary blip?” I asked in disgust. “You wanted me, princess. I could feel it, taste it. Christ, your p…”
“Ahh, stop, I am not doing this again,” she shouted, covering her ears.
“I know I messed up before, Lee, but if you just give me a chance…”
She waved her hand in front of me.
“I can’t afford to give you any more chances. You throw them back in my face. Coming back here was a mistake.”
She stopped speaking and pinched the bridge of her nose, in an attempt to calm herself. “Rachel being here…I can’t deal with her, Kyle. I won’t live in a house, where at any moment she could show up.”
“I had…I have no idea why she showed up here, Lee. I have nothing to do with her anymore,” I urged, hoping like hell she believed me.
“Whatever, Kyle, it’s not my business anyway.”
I ran my hand over my face roughly. “Like hell it’s not your business. I fucked up by withholding from you before. I won’t make that mistake again. You need to trust me.”
Lee walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out a pair of jeans.
Jerking them on, she muttered, “Trust is earned, Kyle. It’s not something that can be handed out recklessly. I know enough- have experienced enough, to understand that. I know we aren’t together anymore, but I can’t handle Rachel coming around here, gloating and flaunting your relationship in my face.”
“I’m not having a fucking relationship with her. Lee, I can’t stand her. I can assure you, that she won’t be back here. I promise. I’ll make sure of it.”
“I don’t want you to feel like I’m dictating your life. I can go stay with a friend, if my being here is too much?”
I watched wide eyed as she slipped on her jeans. She didn’t tie them; she couldn’t by the looks of it.
“Tell me,” I begged in a hoarse voice. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”
Slipping on her converse she walked over to her door.
“I shouldn’t have to tell you. You should just know.”
With that she slipped outside, closing the door behind her softly.
I threw myself back on the bed and held in a scream. This was going to be much harder than I thought. And for the first time since my talk with Derek, six weeks ago, I had doubts as to whether I’d win.
CHAPTER THREE
Lee
I had to get out of that house, but as I walked, I wasn’t sure where to go.
Everyone I knew in Boulder, lived in that house. I raked my brain for possible places to go, but I was coming up with a very small list.
I supposed I could visit Mo and Dixon. Technically, we were friends…Well, friends through friends. But, then again, Dixon was very full on, and to be honest, he kind of freaked me out. No, I scratched that notion from my mind.
The only other two people I knew, were Linda and Mike. Mike was working today, so I knew he’d be at the hotel, and Kyle wouldn’t, since I’d left him in my bedroom less than an hour ago.
Oh, god...
What the hell had I been thinking? Kissing Kyle, feeling him up? I was home less than twenty four hours and had nearly fallen into bed with him.
Disgust and anger coursed through my body. Disgust with myself, for being so weak, and anger towards Kyle, for being the source of my weakness.
I couldn’t deal with Kyle, or my feelings for him. I was holding a lot of bitterness inside of me, and I was afraid of what would come out of me, if Kyle pushed me too far...
It was bitter cold as I trud
ged down 11th street, towards The Henderson Hotel.
The impressive eight story building, stood proud in the center of 11th street, dwarfing the other buildings around it.
The light coming from the modern glass paneled walls on the ground floor, ricocheted off the traditional limestone stonework, casting out an almost majestic ambiance.
Stepping inside the foyer of the hotel was like stepping back in time. Memories flooded my mind, memories of Kyle.
I pushed them down and went in search of Mike.
There were two restaurants on the ground floor of the hotel, and Mike served in the larger one.
I slipped through the glass doors, and my eyes circled the restaurant, in search of his familiar blonde head.
When I spotted him sitting at table in the far corner of the room arguing with a leggy blonde, I had to take a double look.
My feet moved towards their table, as my curiosity got the better of me.
What the hell…
“Hey, Cam,” I said, when I reached their table. “What are you doing here?” With Mike, I wanted to add.
Cam’s head swung up.
“I’m here, because I’m warning your little friend, to back off,” she said in an agitated tone. “What are you doing here?”
“I…Uh, I was looking for Mike,” I muttered guiltily.
I wasn’t sure why I was feeling guilty.
I wasn’t doing anything wrong, was I?
Cam shook her head in disgust, before turning to look at Mike.
“You need to stay away from your brother’s girlfriends’,” she growled. “Lee has enough friends, she doesn’t need you interfering, and causing problems.”
Mike shrugged, smirking. “Wow, Cam, if I didn’t know better, I’d think that you were jealous.”
I watched, mouth open, as Cam shoved her chair back and stood slowly, glaring at Mike.
“It’s a good thing that you know better,” she seethed. “Isn’t it?”
Mike shook his head.
Ignoring Cam, he turned to face me. “How you doing today, Lee?”
“Fine,” I mumbled, thoroughly embarrassed, and confused as hell.
I knew those two didn’t exactly see eye to eye, but they’d seemed to have called a truce while I was in hospital.
But after this display, it looked like they were back to the trenches.
“Do yourself a favor, Lee,” Cam said, fixing her glare on me. “And open your eyes. Running to the father of your baby’s brother, is sick. He is bad news and you are looking for trouble.”
Cam stormed out of the restaurant before I had a chance to respond, which was just as well, because, quite frankly, I wasn’t sure I could.
“Ignore her,” Mike said, patting my back. “She’s being irrational.”
“Huh?” I said, still in shock over Cam’s outburst. “Does she think something is happening between us?” I asked, appalled.
What she had said, made me sound like a whore.
Mike shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.” He frowned. “I think she’s making sure that nothing does happen between us.”
Dropping into Cam’s vacated chair, I shook my head, sickened at the thought.
“That’s disgusting.”
Mike chuckled. “Ouch, Lee, way to hit a man when he’s down.”
“Mike,” I warned, not in the mood for jokes.
There was nothing funny about what Cam was accusing me of.
“Relax, Lee,” Mike said, smiling. “I know a lost cause when I see one. You’re in love with my brother, I get it. I’m not looking for anything more than friendship. I thought you knew that?”
“I did, I do,” I assured him. “It’s hurtful that other people don’t.”
“Screw Cam,” Mike muttered. A frown creased his brow. “She’s interfering in your life, when she should be looking at her own.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, staring into Mike’s troubled brown eyes.
“Nothing,” Mike muttered, before smiling broadly at me. “So, how’s my little niece, or nephew?”
I smiled, and sighed in relief as I rambled on about my baby, glad to change the topic of conversation.
******
Kyle
I was watching a movie and eating Chinese food with Derek when the front door opened, then shut quietly, and Lee’s curly head hurried passed the open, living-room door.
Bruno, who had been still as a statue, staring down our food, bounded out of the room after her.
“Don’t,” Derek said quietly when I went to get up. “Just give her time, dude. Don’t chase her off when she’s just in the door.”
I didn’t want to listen to Derek, but he was right.
Lee was avoiding me, had been since our kiss yesterday. Obviously, she wasn’t ready to deal with me, and I sure as hell didn’t want to chase her away.
I had enough odds stacked against me; I didn’t want to add my stupid ass to the equation.
Lowering myself back down, I resumed my position of staring at the door.
“That’s all I seem to be giving her,” I muttered, as I took a slug of beer from my bottle.
I didn’t taste it; it wasn’t doing anything for me tonight. “I’m walking on eggshells around her, when I should be sorting it out.”
“And what, exactly, do you think will happen if you chase after her right now?” Derek asked in an agitated tone. “Do you think Lee is just gonna forget all the shit that happened to her, and no offence, Kyle, but most of it you caused? Do you think she’s gonna roll over like a dog? Dude, she is hurt and hormonal as shit. Keep pressurizing her and she’ll run.”
“I get that,” I groaned. “But she is carrying my baby, whose life I want to be involved in. I need to be involved in. Derek, you’ve seen the relationship I have with my father; I will not have my kid growing up all fucked up, like I did.”
“Yeah, you are pretty fucked up,” Derek agreed, swallowing a mouthful of Chow-Mein. “But Lee will come around. She’s a good girl, too good for your ugly ass. She’ll do the right thing. Give her time.”
“I hope so,” I muttered, opening another beer.
“Besides, I don’t know why you think you’ve got it so bad? You have the peace of mind of Lee being at home, I haven’t seen Cam since she tore off yesterday. All I get is a fucking text from her, saying she’s staying at a friend’s house. Lee’s pregnant, what’s Cam’s excuse for being a hormonal antichrist?”
“Maybe Cam’s pregnant?” I tossed out, since Derek had brought it up first.
It had crossed my mind, more than once in the past few weeks and would explain a whole lot. Derek was right in what he said; Cam was acting weird lately.
“Nah, man,” Derek chuckled, tossing down his carton of noodles on the coffee table. “You’re the only sperminator in this house. I’ve totally got that shit zipped up.”
I laughed so hard, I started to choke on a string bean.
“Have you any filter on that tongue of yours?” I spluttered, hacking.
Shrugging, Derek grinned, slapping me between the shoulder blades. “I’m just being real, man.”
“Oh you’re authentic all right,” I laughed. “You’re one of a kind.”
*****
Lee
It was late, well after midnight, and I couldn’t sleep.
I was wide awake, stretched out on my bed in the dark, staring at the ceiling.
My gut was clenched and my heart was thundering in my chest. I was scared. I hated the unknown.
The front door had banged loudly twenty minutes ago, and Cam and Derek were still downstairs, shouting. Well, Cam was shouting, Derek sounded like he was pleading.
Logically, I knew that I was worrying for nothing and should ignore them. But I found it impossible to shut my brain off and go to sleep, when I’d experienced eighteen years’ worth of nights, lying in my bed, afraid of the shouting and banging coming from downstairs.
The only thing that had kept me alive on those nights, had been stayi
ng awake and being prepared.
The soft knock that sounded on my bedroom door, had my heart catapulting around in my chest.
Turning my head, I watched, paralyzed on my bed, as the door opened inwards.
Kyle stood in my doorway; the soft glow coming from the light in the hallway illuminated his body.
He looked deliciously disheveled, in gray sweatpants, and a white muscle vest. His hair was ruffled, his eyes wide.
Relief poured through me first, surpassed by a surge of heady desire that was quickly snuffed out by wariness. I settled on wariness. Wariness was safe. Wariness was smart.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hey.”
He hovered in the doorway. “Can I come in?”
I shrugged. “It’s your house.”
Kyle sighed. Shaking his head, he came and sat on the end of my bed. “Can we talk?”
Pulling myself up, I sat facing him, legs crossed. I nodded. “I guess.”
Kyle leaned forward, braced his hands over his knees. I waited for him to speak. Finally, he did.
“I’m not perfect, Lee,” he said quietly, staring at the ground. “I’ve never claimed to be. I fuck things up, repeatedly. I say the wrong things; I never seem to get it right with you.”
He turned to face me and I gasped when I saw the flurry of emotion in his eyes.
“But seeing you hurt,” he croaked. “Knowing that I’m responsible, it’s killing me. It is killing me, Lee, and my heart keeps beating.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I whispered, locking the muscles in my legs, holding onto my pajama bottoms for dear life. If I didn’t, I had a feeling I would throw myself into his arms. “I’m sorry.”
Kyle turned and stared directly into my eyes. “Don’t you ever apologize to me, you got it?” He sighed heavily. “I talked to Derek tonight. He gave me some advice.”
He stood up and walked to the door. “I won’t pressure you, Lee. I’ll back off. You can have your space.”
Kyle closed out my door and I fell onto my back, as his words churned around in my head, and tore strips off my heart.
