by Tiana Laveen
Damn, that looks real, like a real photograph. Julian is so talented…
“No. He walked into my shop one day and we got to talking. I did it for him for free, wanted him to have it after all he’d done for us, for our country. Anyway…” He scratched his arm and leaned forward, stifling a yawn. “This is dope, baby. I really like it. I guess I’ll let you and Angela do what you want. Now, what about website maintenance?”
“Taken care of,” Angela spoke up. “We hired a company to take care of all the updates.”
“Mmmm hmmm.” He grimaced. “And how much is this going to cost me, huh? Hosting, maintenance fees, all of it?”
“Only about three hundred a year.”
“Okay, that’s not bad.” He nodded, got to his feet and stretched. “Look, I’m thirsty, anyone want anything?” He began to make his way towards the back of the place. A refrigerated display stood in the corner with an assortment of natural sodas, flavored waters and vending machine style energy drinks.
“Yeah, I want a chilled green tea,” Angela said as she and Milan huddled closer together, discussing further website plans.
“I’m fine, honey.” Milan stated before he got too far away.
“You sure you don’t want any tea? Water?” he asked, looking her up and down as if she were a meal. “I’ll put a little something special in it.” He winked at her.
“My virgin ears are bleeding.” Angela sucked her bottom lip and rolled her eyes. “You’re disgusting, Julian,” she teased; causing the man to look horrified…another act no doubt.
“Whose mind is in the gutter?! I just asked her if she—”
“Oh, we all know what you really meant! You are as bad as Cedrick, only your sexual harassment is entirely directed towards Milan. We’ve all heard you whispering to her on the phone, saying all sorts of nauseating things such as—”
“Don’t even start! What about you on the phone talking to one of your boy toys of the month, huh? I know for a fact that…”
…And the two continued on, picking and messing with each other, in their customary fashion.
Yes, today was a good day…
*
Julian pulled his dark brown hoodie with the loose threads around the hem over his head, shrouding himself from the light rain. He’d handed Milan his umbrella; though she’d tried to share it, he pushed her away as he fell to his knees, in front of his father’s large, stone grave. His fingers sank into the loose earth, the ground disturbed by the relentless precipitation. He became one with what was below, and baptized with what was above. He immediately felt the coolness of wet, saturated ground soak into his jeans as his hands roamed the headstone.
Jason N. Savant
The rain suddenly stopped. Not because it showed him any favor, but because Milan had pushed the large, clear umbrella over his head despite his protests. The mud caked on his hands as he scanned the tomb, feeling the impressions from the etched letters of the man’s name. To the world, his fallen hero was Jason, but to Julian, he was simply Dad…
“I miss you, man. I know…I haven’t been here in a while, but I was thinking about you, and decided that this would be a good time to come visit. On a day like today, you’d be kicking back on the couch with a cold beer, cursing out the T.V.” He gave a light chuckle.
“I miss some of our heart to hearts, our talks…the chats about me going to college for something important, something big. It never happened.” Julian lowered his head. “I tried to get a trade, and the traditional college route just wasn’t for me, so I went to art school. I know you were disappointed, Dad. But, you never said so. You didn’t discourage me, I appreciate that. I know, in your mind, you were thinkin’, ‘What is this boy going to do with a damn art degree?’ By then, I had enrolled, gotten married and had a baby on the way… I had to do something to take care of my family. It ended up being the best decision I ever made.
“The tattoo shop is so different now, Dad. It’s redecorated, too. You’d love it. I’m really busy, and you know that’s how I like it. Mom is fine by the way. You’d tell me while you were drunk a lot of times that you loved her, then when you were clear-headed, you’d deny it later.” Julian grinned wide. “But yeah, she’s doing good… We all miss you a hell of a lot, Dad…a hell of a lot.” He dropped his head, wallowed a bit in painted memories from long ago. When he came up for air, the kind soaked in the scent of fresh rain, he was ready to continue. “I promise to come see you more often even though I know you aren’t in here, in this damn grave. I’m just using it as an alter I guess.” He rubbed his nose and took a deep breath.
“You might be wonderin’ who this pretty lady is beside me, keeping me out of the rain… That’s the woman I’m going to marry, Dad. This is my future wife. Her name is Milan. Yeah, yeah, I know.” He sniffed, and looked a bit closer at the tombstone. “You told me to not marry so young the first time. I didn’t listen, but this time, I’m ready. This time, it’s different. I’ve learned a lot, matured, and know how to be the best man I can be. Anyway, Milan is good to me, and for me. It didn’t take me long to realize that. You would really like her, Dad. She’s refined…classy. Everything I’m not.” Julian burst out laughing. He felt a soft hand graze his shoulder. He wanted to hold her hand, but thought better of it as he took closer notice of his dirty fingers, caked with fresh mud. “So yeah, we’re gettin’ married soon. Everybody is going to be there…except you. I wish that wasn’t true, I wish…I wish you could see me right now, see how happy and settled I am. Things are finally going right. My life is together. I couldn’t ask for better…”
Julian was quiet for quite some time, the feelings sensitive and moving up and down his throat like lunch trying to repeat itself. He felt a bit angry now, and he wasn’t sure why. He surmised it was because the reality was hitting that yes, one of the most important days of his life was approaching and his father wouldn’t be there. But that was life, right? Or, was it death?
“Goodbye, Dad. I’ll be back to visit soon. I love you so much, and though I’ve said it before, I gotta say it again. I miss the hell outta you, more than you’ll ever know.”
He got to his feet, brushed his knees off and glanced at Milan. The woman’s smile was like the searing sun had broke through the gray, depressing, sad-faced day. He hoped she didn’t mind as he gripped her by the neck, brought her face close and kissed her hard, needing her.
“Let’s go, baby…” He took the umbrella from her grasp and held it over both of their heads as they navigated their way down the grassy path. She placed her head against his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his waist. Her warmth soothed him from his heart down to his soul.
“Thanks for coming here with me, Milan.”
“Julian, where else would I be but by your side to lend support? You don’t have to thank me, honey.”
He smiled at her thoughtfully as they continued to move along the trail, passing damp gravestones of those that many others had lost, shed countless tears on behalf of, had their hearts broken for. But today was a brand new day where nothing was falling apart, fractured, soiled, ruined or shattered. Today, the gone were not forgotten. No, today was a day of renewal, of healing. Today was the day the moon and sun showed favor on everyone…
*
Four months later…
“Milan, come on now. We discussed this a while ago.”
“I know, but I’ve changed my mind!” she fretted as her feet turned inward, her hair in big pink curlers bounced about, and her nails, freshly painted, shined under the lights.
“It won’t take long, baby,” Julian assured as Alex sat them side-by-side in their respective seats. Milan hesitantly extended her right hand as Alex gently took her palm in his and began the process of tattooing a wedding band along her right index finger, leaving the left one bare for the actual wedding band he’d purchased for her. Cederick did the same for Julian. The two men sat before them, drawing intricate designs, the needle going up and down, etching their respective tattooed rings.
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“See, it’s not that bad.” Julian winked at her, causing her to slightly smile through the discomfort.
The wedding was to be in five hours. Excitement got the better of him and hell, he felt a bit nervous, too. He was looking forward to it. The church would be packed with people….yeah, church. He wanted Milan to have the wedding she wanted; he didn’t put up a fuss. Regardless of their different beliefs, he respected the woman and what she felt was gospel, no pun intended. He figured, it made her who she was, so how could he argue with it? He wasn’t particularly religious, but this was a small sacrifice to get the woman he loved, and to make her happy. He couldn’t wait to see her walk down that aisle in a gown that he’d heard so much buzz about. No matter how much he begged, she refused to give him a sneak peek. He was lucky she was sitting there actually; she’d tried several times to wiggle out of this whole wedding tattoo business. He explained the importance of it to him, and like the lover of his heart that she was, she conceded.
To make matters even more joyous, all of his friends from his apprenticeship would be there, even the ones that had moved away. His mother, stepfather, nephew and sister would also attend, along with a boatload of his childhood friends and acquaintances from neighboring tattoo salons. None of that mattered as much as that moment, right there, though…
He stared at Milan, unable to take his eyes off of her. He studied her, trying to make it all sink in.
I’m about to marry this woman, and this time, it will be forever…
I love her to death. I can’t believe this. But…I would really do anything for her. She makes me feel crazy. I love feeling like this…
He briefly turned away from her and watched Cedrick’s handiwork on his finger as the man twisted it to get a better angle. He drifted back into a cloud of memories and ‘what if’ thoughts regarding their pending nuptials. He knew her friends would soon be waiting for her at the church, dressed in their matching sky blue gowns, and he could see she was train wreck of nerves, though a happy wreck nevertheless. He was happy though that her uncle would be walking her down the aisle. His stepfather had even volunteered once his mother told him that the ‘poor girl’ didn’t have her folks anymore. That struck Julian as odd, but in a good way. He couldn’t recall too many times when his stepfather showed he had a half-way beating heart. The thought gave him an inward chuckle. No one’s frailties and pitfalls had to be permanent. No, they could change, unlike a tattoo…
He looked down at the ground as memories of visiting his father’s grave entered his mind, and then, snippets from the life of the man overtook his thoughts. But he pushed them away, put a distance between him and the pain that death brought, focusing instead on freedom and love. Yeah, his parents weren’t romantic storybook characters, nor would he and Milan be such…but he’d die trying to get as close as possible to that perfection.
He looked back up and saw her big brown eyes focused on him. She wore a pretty smile, the kind he wanted to touch, to become one with.
She mouthed, “I…love…you.”
“I love you too, baby.” He winked at her and slowly turned away.
This was the first Saturday ever in ‘Soul Inscription’ history that they were closed, and he was so relaxed with that, especially since his life was experiencing a warm renewal. He was about to exchange words that meant something to him, to say them in front of two hundred and thirty-nine people that they cared about, to say them to one another and mean that shit, from the bottom of their hearts. He never told Milan, but he had a feeling about her as soon as he’d laid eyes on the woman. He never believed in love at first sight until he saw her pain, and could understand it, to its deepest depths, but it was her strength through that adversity that blew him away. Through her, he was allowed to see that he, too, had never fully released the pain. He’d thought he’d had, but she taught him that he was only fooling himself by wearing a smile as if it were a Band-Aid, trying to cover the hideously agonizing emotional wounds.
As he’d placed that tattoo of her mother on her body, each prick of the needle was his way of attempting to kiss and soothe her torment away. He could tell, by her tightened muscles and her facial expressions, that she was being a trooper for all the wrong reasons. He wanted the woman to shed blood, to release all that was toxic and wrong with her world. He wanted to give her permission to do that because hell, she was beautiful, and secondly, she deserved to release it and let go, so she could get back to her true self—as his bride.
That night after he’d given her the tattoo and she’d left after he stole a kiss, he imagined them together in an actual relationship, and she stayed in his thoughts, daydreams and fantasies to the point that once he got to know her, he understood without a shadow of a doubt—she completed him. He felt their soul connection, convinced they were linked by something more powerful than themselves…
He just had to have her, and though he’d felt he didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of being with her, he tried anyway… and she allowed him into her world. The woman enveloped him in want, and he felt secure against her beautiful soul…
“Alright, you’re all done,” Cedrick stated as he got to his feet. Julian looked at the man’s work discriminately, and was rather pleased with what he saw.
“Almost done…” Alex offered as he finished Milan’s. The woman leaned far back, biting her bottom lip, stifling a scream no doubt.
The things we do for love…
Julian grinned and got to his feet as Bonobo’s CD played, ‘Animal Magic,’ one of his favorite bands of all time.
“You got your tux ’nd everything, man?” Cedrick asked as he walked back over to his station and cleaned the area off.
“Of course. How about you?”
“I’m getting dressed at the church,” he answered. They looked at one another for a moment, both smiling, on the verge of cracking up at the surrealism of it all. Julian caught a suspicious glimmer in the guy’s eyes, as though he wanted to say so much, but couldn’t form the words. Suddenly, Cedrick made his way up to him, his steps stomping loud across the floor. He grabbed him tight to his frame and gave him a hearty hug.
“Congrats, man. I’m really happy for you…for both of you.” He released Julian and waved at Milan, who was watching the encounter through slit-like eyes.
“Thank you,” Milan responded, a forced a smile on her face. Julian realized she was experiencing a barrage of pain, but she tried nevertheless.
“I’m going to clean my stuff and get going. I’ll see you over there.”
“Cool. See you in a little bit, man.”
“Cedrick tidied up his table, grabbed his jacket, threw his arm in the air and gave the ‘deuces’ sign as he left the place, the door swinging behind him.
“Aaaaand, I’m all finished!” Alex announced proudly. Milan looked down at it, turning her finger to and fro.
“Alex, this is lovely! I wasn’t sure how’d I feel about it, but it is just gorgeous!”
Julian rushed over to examine it for himself. He had to nod in agreement.
“You did that perfectly, Alex… That is really nice.” Julian gently lifted her hand, studying it even closer, like a fine craftsman.
“Thank you. Glad you like it. Yours looks good too, Julian. Cedrick did a good job.”
“Yeah, he did.” Julian scratched his head. “I guess we better get going.”
“Yeah, I’m going to clean my equipment and go on over to the church, too. Angela called and said everything is fine, the finishing touches are being put in place.”
Milan nodded. “She’s been helping the wedding coordinator and sending me text messages this entire time with progress reports. Angela is so sweet.”
“Yeah.” Julian huffed. “Until you have to work with her!” He teased as Alex moved about, hurrying to break free.
Julian went around the place, making sure things were just so as his fiancé disappeared into the restroom. Soon, Alex was gone too, and it was just him standing there, in the stillness o
f the early morning in the salon. The sun drifted in tranquil waves through the glass of the door, highlighting the recently disturbed dust, sparkling like dust particles from diamond dreams. He looked around, serene spirits creeping within him, taking him over… He’d be leaving on his honeymoon to Cancun soon. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d been on a vacation, let alone with someone he was madly in love with. He ran his hand down his face, turned off the music and waited for Milan to return to him.
After a few moments, he heard the faucet water turn off, and she entered the main lobby, where he waited for her by the door.
“Are you ready, baby?”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and seasoned his lips with a seductive kiss. Enveloping his arms around her body, he pulled her in close and slicked his tongue within her mouth, never wishing to release her. After a few moments, they broke free from one another. He drew a tiny yellow rose out of his jacket pocket and wedged it between her curlers, causing her to burst out laughing. She reached atop her head and patted it, a tender grin creased her face as her fingertips moved gingerly against the petals.
“That’s so sweet!”
He kissed her cheek, opened the front door and watched her saunter away to his freshly cleaned and shiny, parked car in front of the shop, then turned to lock up. ‘Soul Inscriptions’ was officially closed for the day. He could feel his own heartbeat increase as he walked away and joined her. Taking a deep breath, he started the car, took her hand in his and held it tight as he pulled away from the curb to merge with the sleepy traffic. As he drove, he could hear the church bells in the near distance as the clock struck ten in the morning. Soon, he’d be standing at the altar with her, making promises that he planned to keep. He was on his way, and he couldn’t get there fast enough for the woman that stole his soul, also left indelible ink across his very heart. She was destined to be his forevermore. Oh yes, he was going to that big church alright. He was going to make the woman of his dreams, the wife of his reality.
