by Claire Adams
He left the room, and I changed into my street clothes. I just wanted to be home with Margie. I packed up my things and headed out to my car. I was only thirty minutes away from home, but it felt like hours before I even reached my street.
When I got there, Margie was still awake.
“What are you still doing up?” I asked her. I wasn’t mad, just surprised.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she said.
“I’m sorry, Justin. I tried to get her to bed, but she said she couldn’t sleep until she knew you got home okay,” Tiffany said.
“It’s alright,” I said to Tiffany and pulled out my wallet to pay her. My mom had been invited out for a girls’ night with a few of her book club friends and had not been available to watch Margie. “Thank you for watching her.”
“You’re welcome. And thank you, but you keep the money,” she said.
“No, I don’t think that would be right,” I argued.
“I’m serious; you keep the money. I had fun, and I don’t mind watching her just to watch her,” Tiffany said.
I thanked her and then looked at Margie. “I think it’s time for bed. Can you tell Tiffany goodbye?”
“Bye, Tiffany. Thank you for playing Uno with me,” Margie said.
Tiffany crouched down and gave Margie a hug. “No problem. I had fun. Your daddy is home now so make sure you go to bed for him, okay?”
Margie nodded her head.
“Goodnight, Justin,” she said. She had that same look in her eye. I didn’t know what was really going through her head, but I hoped she didn’t think I wanted anything more from her. I was already very interested in someone else.
“Goodnight, Tiffany,” I said, and when she left, I locked the door behind her.
I picked up Margie. “Let’s go get in bed.”
I carried her to her room, laid her on her bed, and tucked her in.
“Did you win?” she asked, her voice full of hope.
“Yeah, I did,” I said.
“How come you don’t seem very happy then?”
I didn’t want to explain it to her. The whole situation was far too complicated for someone so young to understand. Instead, I pulled the covers further up, smoothing them out under her chin.
“I am happy,” I promised. “I’m just tired. Why are you still awake?”
“I was nervous,” she shrugged.
“Why were you nervous?” she had never been this nervous before.
“Because you were nervous all day,” she said matter-of-factly.
I felt my stomach sink uncomfortably. Her words made me feel horrible. I never thought about the way I had been acting and how it might have affected her. She spent the whole night nervous and unable to sleep because of me.
“I’m okay, sweetheart. I promise you everything is going to be okay,” I said but quickly corrected myself. “I mean, everything is okay. Right now, everything is okay. And it always will be. You don’t need to worry about me. I promise.”
As I spoke, I couldn’t tell whether I was trying to convince her or myself.
“Okay, Daddy,” she said and gave me a hug. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, pumpkin. Now get some sleep.” I kissed the top of her head and left her to her dreams.
I went into my room, changed my clothes, and laid down on my bed. I felt awful. Not only had I almost lost the fight, but I also made my daughter nervous because of my own behavior and feelings.
I told myself I needed to be more aware of how I was acting. She picked up on so much; she could tell how I was feeling at any given moment. How I felt was how she felt. I needed to make sure I was more aware of that. I didn’t want my daughter to grow up feeling nervous about a thousand things just because I was. She was the child, and I the adult. My worries shouldn’t have to be hers.
I thought about Anna and how she could keep me calm and focused without even trying. She was great that way. Not for the first time, I wished she was there that night. At the fight. In bed with me.
I missed her terribly as sleep finally captured me.
Chapter Sixteen
Anna
I didn’t know what to expect Monday night. As I finished getting ready, I wondered how my parents would react. I just hoped they would believe that Justin and I were a real couple. I was glad we had sex because that would at least take care of the chemistry part. They wouldn’t be able to deny our connection.
I placed my curling iron down on the bathroom counter and looked at myself in the mirror. I needed to make sure to look good. I figured this was more for Justin than for my parents. I applied a little more lip gloss and a touch of extra mascara. As soon as I finished, the doorbell rang. They were just on time.
I asked Justin and Margie to get to my house early. I wanted a little time with them before my parents and Ally arrived. I needed to calm my nerves, and I felt that being around them before we had to put on our show might help make things seem more believable.
I opened the door, and after a quick greeting, I invited them inside.
I noticed Justin looked awfully rough. I wasn’t sure why, since he won his fight on Friday. He told me about it when he called the night before. I hadn’t been expecting him to look so defeated. So upset.
“Are you okay?” I asked. I touched his arm to comfort him. I didn’t know what was wrong, but my stomach twisted with undeniable worry.
“Yeah, sort of,” he said.
“You can talk to me,” I said.
He looked at me for a moment, almost as if he had bad news and was trying to figure out how to break it to me. His eyes searched mine, and they were darker than I’d ever seen them. He had a cloud hanging over his head, and I didn’t understand why.
“I almost lost my fight. It was really bad, Anna.”
I wrapped my arms around him, and he returned the gesture. It felt nice. It felt right. Something told me he really needed it.
“You won, Justin. That’s a good thing, right?”
“Yeah, but my head wasn’t in the game. That’s the bad part. I didn’t know how to keep myself focused. And if I can’t get focused, I’m going to lose my next fight for sure,” he said.
“Whatever caused you to almost lose, just let it go. Because otherwise, you might bring even more into the cage with you next time,” I told him firmly. “You know you can do this. Focus on that and let go of everything else.”
He smiled at me. “You’re right, Anna. Thank you for talking to me.”
I smiled at him, and we stepped apart. Then I turned to Margie. I grinned down at her, more than happy to see her again.
“Do you guys want to help me in the kitchen?” she nodded her head enthusiastically, and we all headed into the kitchen to start preparing the meal. We diced, washed, and cooked the food together. It was fun. I enjoyed the time I got to spend with Justin and Margie. Regardless of what we were doing, I was happy to just be in their company.
We didn’t have much time together that night. My parents and Ally arrived after only fifteen minutes. They were ten minutes early, which I guessed was better than being ten minutes late, but it cut into my alone time with Justin and Margie.
After I heard my dad’s famous knock, the three of us walked toward the door together.
“Are you ready?” I whispered to Justin.
“Yes, I am.” I could tell he was being genuine. I found it so sweet that he was willing to do this for me.
I took a deep breath and opened the front door.
“Anna, baby,” my mom said and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“Hi, mama.” I returned the gesture and then moved over to my dad who gave me a big hug.
“Hi, sweetie,” he said. “We’ve missed you.”
“Hi, dad. I’ve missed you guys, too.” When we pulled apart, I motioned for them to come in. “Come meet Justin and his daughter, Margie.” I pointed to each of them as I said their names.
“It’s nice to meet you,” my dad said and held out his hand for Justin to shake.
“It’s nice to meet you, too, sir,” Justin said.
“Please, call me Tom,” my dad responded.
“Okay, Tom,” he smiled before turning to my mom. “It’s nice to meet you, ma’am. I see where Anna gets her beauty from.”
I blushed and hoped no one caught it, but I noticed my dad gave me a funny look.
“I like you, already,” my mom said with a laugh. “And you can call me Millie. ‘Ma’am’ makes me feel so old.”
“Millie it is then,” he said with a nod.
“Hello, Ally. It’s good to see you, again,” Justin said to Ally, and I was happy that he greeted her. It made me feel good about the situation.
“Aren’t you just the cutest thing ever?” my mom said to Margie. She took to hiding behind me, and I thought it was so sweet.
“Thank you,” I heard her whisper.
“Hey, Margie, I’m Tom,” my dad said to her. He didn’t attempt to touch her, and I noticed her shoulders relax a little.
“Hi,” she said, speaking a little louder this time.
Everyone moved around the living room and found a place to sit down.
“How was the drive?” I asked my parents.
“Oh, you know how it goes with your mother,” my dad said. “Always complaining about my driving.”
“If you drove better, then I wouldn’t have to,” she shot back to him.
“If I didn’t have a backseat driver, then I could drive better,” my dad said.
Everyone except for Margie laughed.
Ally and I knew what he was talking about. Our mom had a lot of anxiety when it came to riding in cars. She would freak out about every little thing. It made for some interesting (and tense) family road trips.
There was an awkward silence. I was expecting a few of these. Mostly because I figured my parents would ask something uncomfortable or even grill Justin and me about our relationship. They were bound to want details that neither of us could provide. I hoped it would not come down to that.
I wondered if I should pull Justin to the side so we could discuss details to tell them in case questions came up, but I ultimately decided it was a little too late for that.
“So, Justin, what do you do?” my dad asked, and I could tell he was testing Justin. He was scrutinizing him, and it made me wonder if it had to do with the look he gave me earlier. He was analyzing the situation, which was something he was very good at, and I hoped he wouldn’t catch on to our little game.
“I’m an MMA fighter currently, and a retired Marine.”
My dad seemed to perk up when he mentioned he was a retired marine.
“How long were you in the service?” he asked.
“Four years active duty and four years inactive,” he said.
“Did you have to go to war?” my dad asked.
“I did a tour in Iraq, but it was brief, and there wasn’t much going on. I was going to re-enlist, but when my wife passed away, I had to figure out a different means of income so I could raise Margie on my own.”
“Wow, I’m so sorry for your loss,” my mom said and then looked at me.
“Well, thank you for your service,” my dad said and stood up to shake Justin’s hand again. “You like sports?”
“I love sports,” Justin said.
They started talking, and my mom turned to me.
“I like him,” she said, making sure to lower her voice. “He sure is handsome. How long have you guys been together? And why were you hiding him from me?”
I laughed. “I wanted to make sure things were going in the right direction before I had him meet you guys,” I said. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”
“My daddy loves Anna,” Margie said. She had been standing next to us, obviously listening to our conversation. I didn’t quite know what to say.
“You are absolutely adorable, you know that?” my mom said, leaning down to Margie.
“Thank you,” Margie said. I sensed a shyness in her voice.
“Did you bring any toys?” my mom said to her.
Margie shook her head.
“Well, let’s go see if I have something in my purse.” My mom and Margie went over to her purse where I watched her pull out a pink stuffed bear.
“This is for you,” my mom said.
Margie’s eyes lit up. “Thank you so much!” The two of them started talking about the animal, and I went back into the kitchen to finish up dinner.
“Need any help?” Ally asked me.
“Sure.” I handed her the bowl of salad. “Mix this up and set it on the table, please. There are three different dressings in the door to the refrigerator.”
“Okay,” Ally said and started mixing the salad. “Things seem to be going well here.”
“Yeah, hopefully they don’t catch on though.” I grimaced at the thought.
“You guys look like a real family already,” Ally said to me as I stirred the food around on the stove.
I laughed. “I think so too,” I said.
Ally smirked at me.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing, nothing at all,” she said and then placed the salad and salad dressings on the table.
It wasn’t much longer before I was putting plates and bowls of food on the table. I made chicken parmesan and bread sticks with a side salad. It took a lot of work, but it was worth it. I hardly ever cooked actual meals. It seemed like such a waste to cook for just myself.
“Dinner’s ready!” I called out and waited a moment before everyone made their way into the kitchen.
“Wow, Anna. This looks amazing,” my mom said. “Thank you for doing this, but we could have just gone out to dinner.”
“It’s okay, Mom, really. It was no trouble at all. I thought this might be a little more intimate for you to meet Justin and Margie anyway,” I said.
My mom smiled. “You must get that from me.”
“I must,” I said.
Everyone took a seat. Ally at one end, me at the other, Justin and Margie next to me with Margie sitting between us, and my dad and mom sat on the other side; my mom was next to me and across from Margie.
“How old are you, Margie?” my mom asked.
“I’m four,” she said and held up four fingers on her left hand.
I helped Justin scoop food out onto her plate, and then everyone else moved on to serve themselves.
“I don’t think I’ve had this before,” Margie said.
“You haven’t. It’s just like spaghetti but with a piece of chicken,” Justin said.
Margie looked at me. “What if I don’t like it?”
“That’s okay. As long as you try it for me, I won’t be upset. But I promise you; it’s really yummy.”
I caught Justin staring at me as I talked to Margie about the food on the table. I smiled at him, and he mouthed the words “thank you” to me. I nodded at him.
The conversation flowed around the table. Everyone participated, and I pictured Thanksgiving and Christmas just like this.
Ally told a funny story about her roommate. It seemed so foreign to me. Having a roommate and hardly any responsiblities.
“Have you found a new job yet?” my dad asked her. He had always been so hard on us about getting our lives together. I was surprised that Ally wasn’t more settled down by now.
“Yeah, I have an internship,” she said.
“I meant when you are done with it,” he said.
“Well, more than likely I’ll have a permanent position at the company. The boss thinks I’m great and said that he sees a lot of potential in me,” she said.
“That’s good to hear, dear,” Mom said to her.
The rest of dinner went smoothly. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, and I felt like I succeeded. I caught Justin staring at me more than a few times, and I had to admit that it felt good. I felt butterflies every time I caught his eye.
When dinner was over, my parents and Anna went into the living room. Justin and Margie stayed in the kitchen with m
e.
“Can we help you clean up?” Justin asked.
“Thank you for offering, but I’ve got it,” I said, stacking everyone’s plates.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“We want to help,” Margie said and then added, “Please?”
I knew I couldn’t say no after that.
“Okay, just grab the dishes and come set them on the counter. I’ve got containers for all the left-over food on the counter. Put the food in there. Margie and I will rinse the dishes and put them away.”
“Okay,” Justin said with a big smile. Then the three of us got to work. Once again, we were working in a swift motion, just like a real team, and it felt so good.
Chapter Seventeen
Justin
The dinner Anna cooked was amazing. I knew it would be. She did most of the cooking, but I was glad she let Margie and I help her a little. It made me feel more useful.
I was so nervous before I arrived at Anna’s place that night. I wasn’t sure what her parents would think of me and Margie. I didn’t know if they were laid back or uptight. I was glad to find out they were laid back. It made things easier for me.
The conversation was not at all uncomfortable, though I felt like her dad was questioning what was going on between us. He kept glancing between us with an unreadable expression. I wished I could read his mind, but I wasn’t sure I would like what I read.
After dinner, I sat on Anna’s couch and watched Margie with Anna, Ally, and Millie. She was playing with the bear Millie gave her, and she was talking about all her favorite things. The three women were very engrossed with everything she said.
“And Daddy got me a special Barbie for Christmas last year. She’s so beautiful. She has a pink dress, and it’s so pretty. I’ve never taken it off her. I don’t want to lose it; it’s too special.”
I found that Barbie at Target a few months before Christmas. It was on sale, so I got it for her, hoping she would like it. I remembered how hard it had been to hide it from her. I wanted nothing more than to see the look on her face, but since money was extra tight around the holidays, I wasn’t sure if I was going to have the money to buy her Christmas presents or not. I saved the doll, and though I did get her another gift, a book she asked for, I was glad I found that Barbie. The look on her face when she opened it meant everything to me.
