And I don’t think I can bear that kind of rejection again.
So I stay silent and lose myself in the simple comfort of a man’s strong arms around me.
I wake with a start, panic seizing my chest, making it hard to breathe. My eyes dart around the room as I try to center myself. I’m in my room. My bed. Alone. It’s dark and I glance at the clock. It’s just after four.
How did I get here?
The last thing I remember is drifting off to sleep on the couch with Gabriel’s arms around me. Oh god, I can’t believe I fell asleep on him. I glance beneath the sheets. I’m still dressed, and I have a vague memory of being carried to bed. Did Gabriel bring me here? How did I sleep through that?
Panic grips me again. The locks. If Gabriel put me to bed, no one was up to lock the door when he left.
I fly out of bed, but stop in front of my closed bedroom door. My heart beats fast and adrenaline courses through my body. Be calm, Sadie. Be calm. Even if the door isn’t locked, no one will be out there. Adam isn’t suddenly going to appear out of nowhere just because the door is unlocked for one night.
With a deep breath, I open the door.
Someone is out there, but it’s not Adam Cooper. It’s Gabriel.
He’s lying on the couch with his head on a throw pillow, his eyes closed. I pause, not wanting to wake him, but his eyes drift open.
“Hey,” he says, his voice thick with sleep. He sits up.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” I say.
He rubs his eyes. “Don’t worry about it. What time is it?”
“Around four.”
“Do you want me to go?”
“No, I…” I pause, staring at him. Why did he stay?
As if he can read my thoughts, he answers my unasked question. “I just wanted you to feel safe.”
I let out a shuddering breath and a few tears break free from the corners of my eyes. The last thing I want to do is cry again, but I’m overcome. I just wanted you to feel safe.
Gabriel stands and an instant later, I’m in his arms again.
“I’m sorry,” I say into his chest. “I got up to be sure the door was locked.”
He squeezes me tighter. “It’s fine. Let’s get you back to bed.”
I wipe the tears from my cheeks and let him lead me into my room. My body aches with exhaustion, the mental and emotional strain weighing heavily on me. I get in bed and Gabriel pulls up the covers.
“I’ll be right out there,” he says. “You don’t have to worry about anything tonight.”
He turns to go, but I reach out and grab his hand. My heart still beats uncomfortably hard, pounding against my ribs. I desperately don’t want to be alone. “Could you… could you stay here?”
“Sure, if you want me to,” he says, his voice quiet in the darkness.
He glances around like he’s looking for a blanket and I realize he’s about to lie down on the floor. I can’t ask him to sleep on the floor, and I certainly don’t want him to. At this point, I don’t care if this isn’t appropriate. I lift the covers and scoot over, making room.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
I nod and he gets in bed with me. For a second it seems like he’ll settle in with space between us. But he looks at me with a furrowed brow and reaches out to pull me in close. My body molds against his and my tired eyes close. In minutes, my heart rate slows and I relax, feeling nothing but the safety and security of Gabriel’s arms.
8
Sadie
I wake to the weight of Gabriel’s arm slung over me. My back is to his front, my body tucked against him. I close my eyes and try not to think about what we’re going to say to each other later. For now, I just want to live in this moment.
I can’t remember the last time I slept so well. I peek at the clock; it’s eight thirty. It was only about four hours ago that he came to bed with me, but I feel more rested than I have in months. The soft sound of his breathing and the warmth of his body did more to help me sleep than anything else I’ve ever tried.
And I’ve tried just about everything.
He stirs, drawing in a deep breath, and his body jerks a little. I think he just realized where he is—and who he’s with. I keep still, pretending to be asleep, hoping he might not move. Hoping he wants to stay this way a little longer too.
At first, it seems like he’s going to try to extricate himself. His arm shifts and he starts to roll away. But then he moves back, drawing his arm around me again. He inhales deeply, smelling my hair. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing my body to stay relaxed.
God, this feels so good. I didn’t think I was capable of enjoying this feeling anymore. I thought it had been taken from me. The idea that I can reclaim this—that I can enjoy the embrace of a man—is so stunning, so unexpected, I’m not sure what to do with myself. I’m halfway between laughing and crying, all the while trying to hold everything in so I don’t break the spell.
But I can’t lie still forever. I enjoy the feel of him for long moments, but eventually I have to move. I act like I’m just waking up, hoping that helps dispel any awkwardness he might feel.
He backs off immediately, lifting his arm and moving away.
I look at him over my shoulder and smile. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” he says. “Did you get some rest?”
“I slept really well, actually.” I turn over so I’m facing him. “Thank you.”
He gives me that smile again—his secret smile. “It’s no problem. Are you feeling better?”
“Yes, a lot better,” I say. “I’m sorry I was such a mess last night.”
“You really need to stop apologizing for things,” he says. “You had a rough night. You should have been a little messy.”
Oh Gabriel, you have no idea how messy I really am. “Yeah, I guess so. Thank you again for coming over.”
“I just wanted to make you feel better,” he says.
“You did,” I say. “So much better.”
He smiles again and for a second, I think he’s going to lean in and kiss me. There’s not much distance between us. He could easily move closer and bring his lips to mine.
But he doesn’t. He rolls away and sits up. “I should probably get home. I have to be at work early.”
I try to swallow back the disappointment that rolls through me. “Right, of course.”
“Ordinarily, I’d love to make you breakfast or something,” he says. “But the people from Simple Pleasures are coming today. I think I’m supposed to meet with them at ten. I’m not looking forward to it, but I need to get it out of the way.”
Sam told me last week about the feature Simple Pleasures is doing on Gabriel and the restaurant. It sounds like a great opportunity for him, but did it have to be today? Although thinking about it reminds me of something I needed to ask.
“Are they going to be taking pictures?” I ask. “I mean, I’m sure they’ll want photos of you, and of the restaurant. But what about the rest of the staff?”
“I’m not sure,” he says. “Probably.”
“I’d just prefer it if I’m not in any of them,” I say. I really don’t want to explain why. I watch Gabriel’s face, bracing myself for what he’ll ask, my mind spinning with possible explanations.
“Sure, I’ll let them know,” he says.
My lips part in surprise. That’s it? He doesn’t want to interrogate me about it? “Thank you. I’d appreciate that.”
“Are you sure you’re ready to come back to work tonight?” he asks.
“Yes,” I say, emphatic. “I’m not letting some handsy dickbag keep me from my job.”
He laughs. “Good for you.” He moves the covers and stands, but pauses, looking back at me. “Hey, there’s a new winery I need to go check out tomorrow. Maybe you’d like to join me?”
My breath catches in my throat. Does he mean, like, a date? I’m not sure, but I surprise myself with how quickly I answer. “Sure, that sounds fun.”
“Great,” he
says. “Do you drink wine? They’ll do a private tasting for us, and I could use another opinion. I’m thinking of sourcing from them for the restaurant.”
“Yes, I drink wine,” I say, trying to keep my disappointment to myself. There’s the boss again. Not a date. He just needs another taster and he must know I happen to be off work tomorrow.
He smiles again. “I’ll confirm the time with them and text you when I know for sure. I can drive, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure.”
“I’m just going to use your bathroom, and then I should get going.”
I nod and get up, grabbing a hair tie from my nightstand. I pull my hair up and tie it off in a messy bun. This girl needs some coffee so I can sort through what happened last night—and this morning. I’m so grateful Gabriel came over, and I could sure get used to sleeping so soundly. I do like the idea that maybe we’re a little more than boss and employee. That we’re friends, at least. So even if the winery isn’t a date, it will be nice to spend time with him.
And if I’m wrong, and it is a date…
But I shouldn’t get my hopes up. And I’m not sure I’m ready for that anyway.
Gabriel leaves and I decide to veg out and do nothing with my day before I have to work. I figure I’ve earned some zone out in front of the TV time.
At two-thirty, I head to the restaurant. When I come in through the back door, nothing seems out of the ordinary. I was half expecting a camera crew to be getting in everyone’s way, but there’s only staff in the kitchen. Gabriel is nowhere in sight.
I get to work, helping prep for tonight’s service. I catch a glimpse of Gabriel sitting with someone at a table on the far side of the dining room. A man with a camera stands nearby. He points it at Gabriel and takes a picture.
The kitchen is a whirlwind of activity, as it always is in the hour before guests begin arriving. Gabriel walks in a short time later, followed by the guy with the camera. A woman walks in behind them and I’m hit with a pang of jealousy so strong it nearly knocks the breath from my lungs.
She’s gorgeous. Not normal-person gorgeous. Stunning. She’s tall and slender, dressed in a perfectly tailored blouse tucked into a slim pencil skirt. Her hair is so dark it’s almost black, and it shines like she just walked off the set of a high-end shampoo commercial. Perfect bone structure. Perfect makeup. Perfect teeth when she smiles. She turns that breathtaking smile on Gabriel and I want to rip her throat out.
I turn away quickly so I don’t stand here glaring at her. There’s no reason for me to lose my mind with envy. She’s just here to interview Gabriel about the restaurant. Who cares if she looks like she belongs on the cover of Vogue?
Or, with those boobs, Maxim.
And it isn’t like anything is going on between me and Gabriel. Yes, he slept in my bed with me last night. My cheeks warm at the memory. But I have no claim on him.
I look up and see Gabriel smiling at her. My stomach turns over. This is going to be a long night.
Gabriel isn’t working; Clover is heading the kitchen. But he does spend time cooking so the photographer can take pictures. He takes some of the dining room as well. I make sure to stay out of the way and try to focus on my job. It’s a weeknight, and we’re not fully booked, so the pace isn’t too hectic. My guests are all pleasant, happy with the food and the service.
About halfway through the evening, the woman—apparently her name is Alice Hudson—and the photographer disappear, as does Gabriel. I start to wonder why I felt such a strange surge of jealousy. It’s so unlike me. The more time that goes by, the sillier I feel. By the end of my shift, I have my head back on straight.
And I have the winery to look forward to tomorrow.
My morning goes by with all the speed of a garden snail. By eleven, I haven’t heard from Gabriel, but I’ve been up, showered, and ready for hours.
Finally, my phone bings with a text. I smile as I swipe the screen.
Gabriel: I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to cancel the winery trip today. Another time?
My heart sinks and my shoulders slump. I feel so deflated.
I wish I wasn’t so disappointed, but I spent my whole morning looking forward to this. And the wine had very little to do with it. I sigh and put my phone down, wondering why he’d cancel. He didn’t give a reason. Is he going to? Minutes pass and he doesn’t reply. I guess that’s it—he just can’t?
About half an hour later, my phone does bing, but it’s not a text from Gabriel. It’s Clover, inviting me to join her for lunch. Grateful for the distraction, I agree and head out to meet her at Old Town Café.
I find Clover already seated at a table near the window. She waves as I walk over and sit down across from her.
“Hey,” she says. “Thanks for meeting me.”
“Of course,” I say. “Thanks for inviting me.”
She smiles and I have to admit, being here is already lifting the haze of disappointment.
“So,” she says, “tell me honestly. How are you liking your job?”
“I like it a lot,” I say, and that’s the truth. I don’t know that I want to wait tables for the rest of my life, but I do enjoy my job. “The people are great, and the restaurant is amazing. Maybe this sounds weird, but I feel kind of at home there.”
“That doesn’t sound weird at all,” she says. “Of course it does. You were obviously meant to be there.”
That’s not the first time Clover has mentioned some sort of metaphysical reason for me moving to Jetty Beach and landing a job at the Ocean Mark. I don’t believe in that sort of thing, but Clover seems to, so I just smile and go along with it.
“Well, meant to be or not, I’m happy working there,” I say. “Yesterday was kind of uncomfortable with the magazine people around. But at least that’s over.”
“Thankfully they weren’t too intrusive,” Clover says. “And Alice was nice.”
Could have done with less cleavage. “Yeah, she seemed to be. So how are you feeling?”
Clover takes a deep breath. “Pregnancy is the weirdest thing. So far I haven’t had any morning sickness, but I’m more tired than usual. Cody is bugging me to cut back on the days I work. But mostly I just want to binge on pink Starburst and strawberry pineapple smoothies.”
“Cravings, huh?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” she says. “Oh, and anything sour. I literally sucked a lemon dry the other day.”
I laugh. “That sounds awful.”
“You’d think,” she says. “Cody couldn’t even watch me do it, he was so grossed out.”
“Sorry, but I think I’m with Cody,” I say. “Is he excited?”
She smiles and the warmth in her eyes makes my heart bleed a little. “He’s so excited. He made this little calendar on our fridge with all the pregnancy milestones. Some mornings we come downstairs and look at it and say hey, our baby is the size of my pinky finger today! It’s adorable. He’s going to be the best daddy.”
“I bet he is,” I say.
“What about you?” she asks. “Do you think you want kids someday?”
“I…” I falter, unsure of how to answer that question. There was a time it would have been an easy yes. I always figured I’d have children. But now… “I’m not sure, to be honest. I’m a few steps behind in that department, considering I’m single.”
“Yeah, of course,” Clover says. “I was just curious. I wasn’t sure if I wanted kids until I met Cody.”
“But then you were sure?” I ask.
She smiles. “Yes. Very sure.”
“You two are so sweet,” I say. “You make me think love actually exists.”
Clover tilts her head. “Of course love exists. You’ll find it. I’m positive. And I’m always right about these things.”
“Thanks,” I say. “I’m happy being on my own.”
Am I really, though? There’s a certain safety in being alone. If I don’t let anyone get too close, I can’t get hurt. Trust is hard to come by and so easily broken.
“Well, life can surprise you sometimes,” she says with a little shrug. “Thanks for meeting me, by the way. I was hoping to catch Gabe today, but I guess he took Alice out to that new winery.”
It feels like my heart stops beating entirely. He took her to the winery? That’s why he canceled on me? A sick feeling swirls in the pit of my stomach, but I do my best to keep it from showing. “Oh, I thought the magazine people were gone.”
“No, they stayed last night,” she says. “I guess Alice wasn’t done with Gabe.”
Stayed last night. Oh my god. Stayed where? Did that hussy stay with Gabriel? They left the restaurant around the same time. That must be why he invited her to the winery. If he slept with her last night, he probably wanted to spend more time with her. Taking a beautiful journalist to the winery sure beats bringing your plain, redheaded waitress along.
It’s almost impossible to keep my disappointment inside, but I manage to have a pleasant lunch with Clover. When it’s over, I head home. The last few days have been such a roller coaster, I’m not sure what to think anymore.
9
Gabe
The winery grounds are beautiful, and the weather is perfect. You couldn’t ask for a better day for a tour and tasting. A few puffy white clouds float across the bright blue sky, and the view of the vineyard is spectacular. The main building is nice; it has a classic style with rustic touches—rich wood, leather seating, low light. After we tour the facility and get an overview of their operation, we’re led to the tasting room. It’s cozy and intimate, with comfortable stools at the dark wood bar.
It would be a perfect afternoon, except for the company.
Granted, Alice Hudson, up-and-coming journalist for Simple Pleasures, is a beautiful woman. Any man who can’t admit that is lying. Lush dark hair, full breasts, legs that go on for miles. She’s dressed in a pair of tan slacks and a white blouse that’s open just enough to reveal the valley between her breasts.
Could Be the Reason: (Gabe and Sadie) (A Back to Jetty Beach Romance Book 3) Page 6
