“Oh, that’s great to think about,” I said.
“Just listen to me, Kinsley. If he ever died, I’m done for good. I’ve got nothing. This house is all I’ve got.”
“So, let that motivate you, Kyle. Get up off the couch and do what the doctors say to do. This house is yours when the time comes. I’m not going to fight you for it or anything.”
Kyle sighed. “You’re missing my point.”
“And you’re missing mine. Standing in that hospital waiting to hear if you were going to make it… that was scary for me, Kyle. You’re a pain in the ass, but I can’t lose you. And Dad is stressed out. You’re worried about him dying? How about you make him less stressed.”
“It hurts,” he said.
“What does?”
“Rehab. Therapy. Whatever you want to call it. It hurts.”
“It’s supposed to hurt, Kyle. Do you realize that you almost lost your leg?”
“Maybe I should have,” he said.
“Don’t ever say that,” I said.
“Look, your speech is appreciated, Kinsley. I know what you’re trying to do. But now’s not the time for that.”
“And what am I trying to do?”
“Smooth talk me and motivate me,” Kyle said. “Nice try.”
I stood up from the couch. “Fine. You’re an asshole then, Kyle. You’re being greedy, like you always are. You never pay bills. You’ve never worked a real job. You never did shit with your life. And it’s your fault you got into the accident. You were texting, weren’t you?”
“I don’t remember,” he said.
“Well, this is what you get,” I said. “And if you don’t want to take care of yourself, then it’s time for you to leave the house for good. This isn’t fair to Dad. I’m not down here for you, Kyle. I’m down here for him. I’m supposed to be home right now, cooking dinner.”
“Right,” Kyle said. “For your fake engagement?”
“Excuse me?”
He chuckled. “What is it, Kinsley? Is that an engagement ring or not?”
I looked at my left hand. “It’s an engagement ring.”
“But you’re not engaged?”
“No,” I said.
“But you’re rushing home to cook him dinner and make him happy. How does that work?”
I shook my head. “Wait a second. Don’t twist things around.”
I growled under my breath. I hated that Kyle could distract me and change the subject so easily.
He started to laugh again. His left hand reached for a bottle of pills. Popping off the lid, he put the bottle to his mouth.
“What the fuck are you doing now?” I yelled.
“Taking my medicine,” he said with a white pill balanced on his tongue.
“Give me that bottle right now,” I ordered.
He clipped the lid back on and tossed it to me.
I read the label.
“Don’t believe me?” he asked.
“These are addictive, Kyle. You have to be careful.”
“No shit, Kinsley.”
I threw the bottle at him and stormed away to the downstairs bathroom. I slammed the door and put my hands to the sink, looking down. I couldn’t imagine Kyle going down that road. Refusing to go to rehab, throwing back pills to numb his pain…
It bothered me because I knew how Kyle felt. To suddenly have your life thrown to the side. To feel the pain. To feel different. To wonder how the hell you’re supposed to function again.
There was a soft knock at the door. “Kinsley?”
I opened the door and Kyle stood there with his crutches.
“You moved,” I said.
“What the hell was that for?”
“I’ve been there,” I said. “How you feel, Kyle.”
I touched my stomach, hoping I wouldn’t have to say anything else.
He lowered his head. “I know that. I’m just so fucking pissed off.”
“You should be. And you should fight back.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“The ring,” Kyle said. “What it means. What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing you need to worry about.”
“Well, maybe I do worry about it.”
“Why? You don’t like Ben. You like Brice. I can’t talk to you about it.”
“I like whoever makes you happy.”
“I wish it were that easy for me then,” I said.
Kyle balanced his crutches outside the door and leaned against the doorway. “Why is it not that easy?”
“Because they’re both right, Kyle. They both love me. And I don’t understand it.”
“Well, I don’t understand how two guys could love you. Or even one for that matter. You’re a bigger pain in the ass than I am.”
“You done yet?” I asked.
“Nope.”
“Brice is everything from my past. And that past never really came to an end.”
“He called all the time to check up on you, Kinsley. After you came to stay here.”
I swallowed hard. “I know. But that was back then, Kyle. And now I have Ben. He’s a good guy. Nobody really understands him like me. There’s a reason for that.”
“Well, I mean, if I was going to buy a house or invest in something, I guess I would call Ben over Brice.”
I laughed. “See, that’s my point. You know what, it doesn’t even matter. This is about you, Kyle. You need to go to therapy. You can’t let this car accident rule your life.”
“I’m in pain,” Kyle said. “Can I have a second to breathe?”
“No,” I said.
“So, you get to avoid your problems, but I can’t?”
“This isn’t about me.”
“Maybe it should be,” he said. “My leg is fucked up. I’ll do what I feel is right. Right now, I feel like a fucking loser. As if I couldn’t be more dependent on people, right? I have my father upstairs pacing around, worried. And I have my sister up my ass over this. Yet you’re the one hiding. Hiding in your fancy SUV. And your fancy house. With your fancy… pretend fiancé. Worry about yourself, Kinsley.”
“So, you’re going to end this by being the same asshole as when I came down here?”
“Yeah,” Kyle said. He grabbed his crutches. “I’m sorry you felt pain. I’m sorry you lost your baby with Brice. I’m sorry you lost Brice. I’m sorry you feel confused about Ben. I’m sorry for everything in your life, Kinsley.”
“I didn’t come down here for this,” I said. “I came down here to see what I can do to help you.”
“Nothing,” he said.
He moved back to the couch with the aid of the crutches.
He reached for the pills again.
I shook my head.
My brother was taking the first steps down a dangerous path.
I hated myself for what I was about to do.
Because there was only one person I could think of calling to ask for help.
17
An Old Drink and a Towel
Brice
“Let’s go, big guy,” I said as I helped Kyle out of my truck.
He was pissed off and in pain, which was expected after therapy.
I would embarrass myself if I admitted that I knew exactly how many days and hours it had been from the last time I heard Kinsley’s voice to the night she called me, in tears, telling me she was worried about Kyle. I knew nothing of his accident and when she told me what happened, I wished more than anything that I was with her, just to give her a hug and tell her it would be okay.
There was a part of me that wanted to tell Kinsley to have Ben take care of this, but I knew that wouldn’t be fair. Kyle mentioned my name a few times and he always looked up to me like some kind of cool big brother figure, which I never understood. That was just another spark on the fire for Kinsley’s father to not like me.
“This is a fucking joke,” Kyle growled as he stood there, holding my shoulder.
You know what’s a joke? Me
in love with your sister and helping her while she’s cooking dinner for some other man.
“Yeah, that’s life, man,” I said.
I helped Kyle to the door and he fumbled with his keys, but the door was unlocked.
Once we were inside, I stayed close to the open door as Kyle put his bag onto the table in the foyer. He was shaking as he wrestled with the front zipper to get his pain pills. As soon as he pulled the bottle out, I swiped them from his hand.
“What the hell?”
“I’m counting these,” I said.
“For what?”
I shook the bottle. “This shit will do you in for good, man. Don’t mess with this stuff. Take them as needed, for real. If I find out you’re fucking with this stuff, I’ll break your leg again.”
Kyle’s cheeks turned red. “Okay, fine. I’m not doing anything wrong.”
“I’m serious, Kyle,” I said. I gave him the bottle back.
“I know. Hey. Thanks for…”
“Yeah,” I said. “I know.”
“I always looked up to you, Brice.”
“You were a little weird as a kid,” I said with a smile.
“No, man, really. You were fucking cool. You stood up to my dad. You were a complete bad ass. I was really happy for you and Kinsley. Before things got all…”
“Yeah, I know,” I said. “Shit happens in life, Kyle. Just like your leg. It happens. You can’t let that ruin your life.”
“Have you picked up the pieces of your life yet?” Kyle asked.
I rubbed my jaw. “You need help getting downstairs?”
“I’m fine,” Kyle said. “It’s part of recovery, right?”
“Good man,” I said. I patted his shoulder. “Go relax. And don’t mess with those pills.”
“I’m not,” Kyle said. “Jesus.”
“Yeah. Get pissed at me. That’s good.”
“I’ll see you later.”
“My phone is always on, Kyle… if something is bothering you and you need to talk.”
“I appreciate that, Brice.”
Kyle disappeared, and I turned to exit the house I used to sneak in and out of all the time. The only time I really ever used the front door was when Kinsley’s father would kick me out. I had the back of the house memorized, knowing the exact spots to climb to sneak up to her bedroom.
I smiled as I stepped outside.
“Want a beer?” a voice asked.
I turned my head and there stood Mike.
Big Mike. Mr. Mike. Mad Mike.
“I should probably just take off,” I said.
“Let me rephrase that, Brice. You’re going to come in here and have a beer with me.”
I spent quite a few years of my life making this man’s life hell. Because I loved his daughter in a way that scared the hell out of him. And he should have been scared.
The least I owed him was a drink.
I turned and stepped back into the house. “Okay. A beer it is.”
It wasn’t weird at all to have a beer with your ex’s father.
“I heard what you said to Kyle,” Mike said.
I sat in the same spot where I had as a teenager after Mike caught me sleeping on Kinsley’s floor. I slept over that night, but not for the reasons Mike feared. Kinsley had been having a rough week and asked me to be there as she slept. She had been having nightmares too. I couldn’t say no to her. Ever.
“Well, if I’m going to help him, I’m going to be real about it,” I said.
“You did good,” he said. “He’s a stubborn son of a gun to deal with.”
I laughed. “Well, he did look up to me.”
“That’s the saddest part of this story,” Mike said.
I laughed harder. “You still got it out for me, huh?”
“Ah, old habits,” he said. “You took my little girl from me. You kept me up more nights than Kinsley did when she was a newborn.”
“I guess for that I owe you an apology,” I said. “Then again, I’d do the same thing if I had the chance.”
“I know you would,” Mike said. He stood up from the table. “Come into the kitchen.”
I followed Mike into the kitchen. He stood at the sink and looked out the window.
“You okay, Mike?”
“I’m great,” he said. “You know, my two kids still find ways to make me feel a little crazy.”
“That’s the point of kids, right?”
“I guess so.” He put his can of beer down and turned to look at me. “You know, Brice, I had a really hard time separating you as a punk teenager and you as an adult.”
“I don’t think there was that much of a difference, to be honest,” I said.
“You said it, not me,” Mike said with a grin. “You know, you took care of her. You really did. I expected at any moment for Kinsley to come rushing back home. To come to her senses.”
“But she never did.”
“She didn’t need to, Brice. You were good to her. That’s all a father could ask for from the man who takes his daughter’s hand.”
“Well, then I guess you must be happier now,” I said as I put my beer can on the counter. The cheap light beer wasn’t worth drinking. “She’s got someone who has their entire life planned out.”
Mike chuckled. “When Kinsley finally did come back, I didn’t like it. I didn’t agree with it. But I didn’t know what to do for her. My one regret, Brice, was never calling you. To check on you.”
“That’s the past, Mike.”
“But it’s not. I could have done something for you. Both of you.”
“It wasn’t your place.”
“She was my granddaughter,” Mike snapped.
That word hit me like an icy knife to the chest.
He blinked fast and looked down.
“Yeah, she was,” I said. “I don’t think I ever made that connection. Things with us were never exactly family-like.”
“I think about that all the time,” he said. “When the house gets really quiet. And I’m standing here. I try to imagine what it would be like. To have her sleep over while you and Kinsley get a night out. Or if you’d have more kids by now.”
“Wow, Mike, that’s heavy thinking. But that’s not fair to Kinsley.”
“How so?”
I swallowed the nasty taste of pride and said, “She’s with someone else. They’re, uh, she’s wearing a ring, right? So, everything you’re thinking could happen.”
Mike stared at me. “That takes guts to say, Brice.”
“I don’t have much of a choice but to say it.”
“Well, either way, I’m sorry for the way everything happened. It was a tragic mess. There’s so much I could have done differently.”
“That goes for all of us in life,” I said.
“I’m glad Kyle listens to you.” Mike blinked fast as he changed the subject. “He sure as hell wouldn’t listen to me or his sister.”
“He’ll be fine,” I said. I pointed to the beer. “Sorry I didn’t drink more of that. But I should take off. It’s a little strange being in here without you yelling at me and demanding I get out.”
“I can still do that if you’d like,” he said.
“I think I’ll just show myself out this time.”
“Hey, Brice,” Mike called out as I exited the kitchen.
I looked back and he averted his attention. “All I’ve ever wanted was for my daughter to be happy. Just not with you. But the only time I ever saw her happy was when she was with you.”
I had no fucking clue what the point of telling me that was.
I didn’t reply to Mike.
I just left the house.
It was like walking away from a ghost. I refused to look back at the house.
I got into my truck and drove away, my heart feeling like a brick. What the fuck good was it telling me all that shit now? I remembered vividly coming home to find Kinsley gone. I remembered trying to find her, checking all the places I could think of, including Lindsay’s grave. Standing there
, alone, staring down at that little angel, my soul shredding like a piece of paper. Only to find out she went to her father’s house and was going to stay there. I remembered every single day that I waited for Kinsley to do something. Always trying to check up on her and make sure she knew I loved her and that I was there for her.
Until I finally had no choice but to give up our house and just start over.
Somehow. Someway.
And now in some strange twist, it was as though I was doing the same thing. Trying to find my way in life again, wondering if and when Kinsley would play a part in it.
I reached for my phone and called her.
I hated the way my heart still got jumpy when I had to call her. The anticipation of hearing her voice.
“Hey, Brice,” her silky and beautiful voice echoed into my ear.
“Kins,” I said. “How are you?”
“Good. Just pulling into the driveway.”
My lip curled.
The driveway to that fucking house she shared with someone else.
“How was your day?” I asked.
“Fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Busy.”
“Okay. Well, I just wanted to let you know that Kyle went to his appointment.”
"That's a relief. Thank you, Brice.”
“Don’t mention it. I’m glad he’s going.”
“I really didn’t know who else to call. I hope I didn’t… I don't know. Offend you?”
“Offend me? Not a chance. It’s a little tense near your father, but that’s okay. We had a beer today.”
“You had a beer with my father?” Kinsley asked.
I laughed. “I know. It’s like being in another universe or something.”
“He offered you a beer?”
“I was leaving, and he told me to have a beer with him.”
Kinsley was silent.
“You there?” I asked.
“I’m here. I’m just trying to imagine you and my father having a beer together.”
“To be fair, I didn’t drink much of it. Cheap shitty beer isn’t my thing.”
“You’re so picky, Brice.”
“I just know exactly what I want, Kins.”
I smiled, knowing I was fucking flirting with another man’s woman over the phone. It was like being a bottom feeder when it came to romance. But the way she made my heart feel – hell, just reminding me I still had one – that was worth it.
Nobody Else Page 17
