by Cindy Pon
Everything was comfortingly familiar. Servants bustled as they tidied bedchambers while others carried lacquered trays, ready to serve the midday meal. Skybright kept her head down as she hurried to her bedchamber on trembling legs, and no one took notice of her. She ducked into the safety of her quarters and almost cried out when she saw Zhen Ni sitting on her bed like a statue. Her hands were folded in her lap, and the sunlight from the lattice window emphasized her cheekbones and chin. She had lost weight since Lan had gone.
“Mistress,” Skybright said, bunching her tunic in sweaty hands.
“I didn’t tell anyone,” Zhen Ni stated simply. She rose and drew closer, then grimaced when she saw her face. “What happened, Skybright? You’ll need stitches. That cut is deep.”
The cut.
Skybright picked up the hand mirror and stared. She barely recognized herself. Her face was dirt-smudged and bloodied, her braided hair in wild disarray. A cut ran down the left side of her face, from the top of her cheekbone until it was level with the corner of her mouth. The wound was split, an angry red, pulling her face tight. It throbbed, and the pain seemed to increase the longer she stared at it.
“Where did you go?” Her mistress asked.
She laid the mirror down with a quivering hand. “I went into the forest. And a branch cut me.”
“I never thought the day would come that you would lie to me,” Zhen Ni said.
Tears blurred Skybright’s vision and she crossed her arms, trying to steady herself.
“You’ve changed. I was too distracted to notice while Lan was here. But I’ve been watching you this past week … ”
“Mistress—”
“Is it a boy?”
Skybright choked, lowering her chin.
“A girl then?”
She lifted her head and her mistress arched her delicate eyebrows. “You’re right. It’s a boy,” Skybright finally whispered.
“Sky, how could you keep this from me! Are you in trouble? Are you with child? Did he do this to you?” Zhen Ni gestured to her face, worry conflicting with anger.
Oh goddess.
“No! No, we haven’t … done that. And this, this was an accident.”
Zhen Ni put a light hand on her shoulder and examined her face more closely. The scent of her jasmine perfume filled Skybright’s senses. “I’ll fetch Nanny Bai.”
“Don’t!”
“It must be stitched. We can’t risk an infection. Leave the talking to me. You don’t say a word, understand?”
Skybright nodded dumbly as Zhen Ni left her bedchamber.
Zhen Ni returned with Nanny Bai soon after. The older woman tutted loudly as she turned Skybright’s face this way and that. “You’ll have a scar for life.” She shook her head and let out a long sigh. “Such a waste of a pretty face.”
Skybright nearly snorted aloud, weary and sick from exhaustion. A scar seemed the least of her worries.
Nanny Bai forced Skybright to drink a deep cup of hard liquor, then she cleaned her wound. She screamed in pain, and Zhen Ni clutched her hand, trying to show a brave face. When Nanny Bai began stitching the cut with needle and thread, Skybright thought she would pass out from the agony. The older woman had given her a bit of leather to bite on, so only her haggard groans could be heard.
Skybright didn’t know when Nanny finished. She only recalled Zhen Ni gently laying her head on the pillow, and pulling a sheet over her before she sank, once again, into oblivion.
Zhen Ni came the next day in the late morning, bearing a tray with rice porridge, pickled cucumbers and bean curd with minced pork. Oriole followed and set down a pot of hot tea. They left her after Zhen Ni examined Skybright’s wound, saying she’d send Nanny Bai soon to check on the stitches.
She was just finishing her meal when someone knocked.
“Yes?” Her voice sounded weak and rough.
Golden Sparrow popped her head in. “You have a visitor at the main gate. A young man called Kai Sen?”
Skybright almost spat out her last mouthful of food. “Tell him I’m not here.”
Golden Sparrow gauged her with interest. “I’m afraid I already gave you away. I said I’d ask if you were taking visitors.” She pursed her lips, her curiosity plain. “I didn’t realize you were avoiding him.”
“Tell him no then. I can’t see him.”
Golden Sparrow nodded. “Are you all right, Skybright?”
“I’m fine. Thank you.” She did not look at the head servant.
She had lain down again to rest, her cheek throbbing, when she heard someone whisper her name too loudly.
No. It couldn’t be.
Skybright slid her door aside to find Kai Sen in the courtyard, neck craned and face alert. He stuck out like a bamboo stalk amidst lotus blossoms.
“Kai Sen!” She waved an arm and he ran to her, his shoulders loosening with relief. Skybright dragged him in by the tunic when he was near enough.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked, closing the panel. “Why are you soaking wet?”
The entire front of his tunic stuck to his chest, and it looked like he had just dunked his head into the creek for a bath. “The woman I spoke to threw a bucket of dishwater to get rid of me. I tried coming through the front gate, but she turned me away. So I climbed the wall again instead.” Kai Sen took a step closer and the blood rushed to her head. “I had to see you.”
He winced when he saw her wound, lifting his fingers so they hovered near her cheek, tingling her skin. “It’s true then.” His tanned face had gone pale. “I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t believe it.”
Her chin sank toward her chest, her head felt so heavy. It was too much to hold it upright. Why were they all here, tormenting her, when she only wanted to be alone?
“I almost killed you last night, Skybright.” The words came in a choked whisper.
She raised her face. “You won’t tell anyone?” He looked physically ill, like someone had punched him in the chest. “Please, Kai Sen. No one knows but you.”
“How can this be?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Nanny Bai said she found me in the forest. I believe my mother was one.”
“And you’re here, like the rest of the—the demons from the underworld, to attack us?”
“No! This only happened around the time I first met you. I never knew I was … I always thought … ” It was too much. She swallowed her tears, struggled to keep them at bay. They would only sting her wound. “I always thought I was … normal.”
“You distracted the undead creature that was about to attack me.”
“I killed many undead last night,” she said, forcing a tight grin. “But I would never hurt another person. You have to believe me.”
Kai Sen shook his head, swiping a hand over his eyes. “What were you doing there then, if not to fight with them?”
“I … I wanted to see you.” It sounded so foolish. What had she been thinking? Showing up at their battle in serpent form, appearing exactly like all the other monsters from hell?
“Ah.” Kai Sen swallowed. “Skybright, your cheek. I’m so sorry.”
“It’ll heal.”
“But the scar—”
“I’m not vain.”
Kai Sen laughed. A pained laugh that was cut short, awkward and unfamiliar. “You are all right?”
Skybright nodded, staring at the floor. She could not look at him. “What is happening then, with the breach?”
“We’ve been fighting every night. They keep coming, an endless army.” He paused, and the silence was thick. “The abbots from all the monasteries have met, and they’re devising a plan. The attacks are spreading, moving down Tian Kuan mountain. We have no choice but to follow, and hope to kill them all before they reach the base and the towns and cities below.”
They were standing so far apart they might as well have been on opposite sides of the creek. She wanted more than anything to reach out a
nd grab his hand, to press close for one of his strong embraces that took the breath from her. “Are you well then?”
He smiled, and it was strained, like her own. “I’ve been better.”
“You’re a strong fighter.”
They stared at each other, and she began to feel light headed.
“I’m sorry, Skybright,” he said again.
“It’s not your fault. And thank you. Thank you for setting me free.”
They had begun leaning toward each other, drawn like puppets on strings, but he straightened then, and blinked. What was it that flashed in his eyes? Regret? Shame? He felt shame for releasing her.
“I have to go. We’ll be fighting tonight.”
She nodded.
“Don’t come again, Skybright. To the battles. It’s too dangerous. Especially as you did last night. I—” His jaw clenched, and the anguish on his face was as plain and raw as the wound on her cheek. “It was truly you? How—”
“I don’t know either, Kai Sen. I—I’m sorry too.”
He bowed his head for a brief moment. “Your secret is safe with me. Just don’t come again,” he repeated.
“But—when will this all end?”
When will I see you again?
“I wish I knew.” Kai Sen slid the door ajar. “Promise me you’ll keep away.”
Skybright turned from him and sat down on her narrow bed, she was too woozy to stay standing. By the time she glanced up, Kai Sen was already gone. He hadn’t touched her once during their entire exchange. This was the end between them. She wanted to bury her face in the pillow, to sob her heart out, but her cheek stung too much. Instead she remained on the bed’s edge, staring at her trembling hands.
Trying to force his face from her mind.
His scent and his touch.
It felt as if she fell into an exhausted trance when her door pushed open again, and her heart leaped with hope that Kai Sen had returned. Instead, Zhen Ni came in, her face even more pale than usual. Was Rose not putting cosmetics on her in the mornings?
“He’s very handsome,” Zhen Ni said.
Goddess have mercy. Not her mistress now.
Skybright sighed. Why did she ever wake this morning? “Yes, he is,” she replied. “But no matter, it’s over between us.” Whatever it was that they had. Laughter and fun. Shared kisses.
Trust.
“Do you want it to be over?” Zhen Ni remained near the door.
“I’d rather not talk about it, mistress.”
“I saw the way he looked at you, Skybright. He cares for you.”
“You were spying on us?” She would have been aghast, if she could gather the strength.
“And you care for him. I’ve never seen you gaze upon anyone like that before.” Zhen Ni took one step closer, and seemed to vibrate with restrained energy.
Skybright tilted her head back to stare at the wood-beamed ceiling, wincing when her stitches tightened with the motion.
“Where did you go last night?” Zhen Ni waved a hand at her face. “Why did your lover do this to you?”
“He’s not my lover,” Skybright snapped.
“But he did cut your cheek? How can you be with someone like that, Sky?”Skybright dropped her head between her fists. “Please just leave.”
“No,” Zhen Ni said.
Skybright clenched her jaws. She hated lying to Zhen Ni, but there was no other choice. Her demonic side had driven her to this. “You’ve seen the warnings issued by the monastery. There are … unpleasant things wandering through the roads and forests. We’re lucky they haven’t attacked the villages or towns yet, but only because the monks have been battling them,” Skybright said. “I … I went to find Kai Sen and got caught in the fighting.”
“He spoke of demons as if they were real,” Zhen Ni said.
“They are. I’ve seen them with my own eyes.”
I am one.
“He’s a monk?”
“Kai Sen trains and studies at the monastery, but hasn’t taken his vow.”
Zhen Ni twisted her hands nervously. “What of Lan? She left almost two weeks past and I’ve had no word from her. How am I supposed to know if she arrived home safely? That she wasn’t attacked by these demons you spoke of?”
“I’m sure she’s all right, mistress. Wait and a letter will come.”
Zhen Ni pulled the wooden stool near the bed, so they sat across from each other. She gently grasped Skybright’s chin and tilted her face to study her wound. “Tell me why it’s over then. If you both care for each other?”
Skybright twisted her face, and her mistress’s hand dropped. Zhen Ni hadn’t heard the entire conversation, thank the goddess.
“When have we ever kept secrets from each other, Sky?”
“Zhen Ni.” She forced herself to meet her mistress’s gaze, and Zhen Ni’s eyes widened to hear Skybright speak her name. She hadn’t done so in over ten years, not since they were little girls. “If you truly care for me, you won’t ask again. You’ve kept your secrets before; I’m allowed mine.”
Zhen Ni pounded her fists against her thighs. “It’s because I care for you that I’m asking. I’m worried for you, Sky!”
“I’m all right. It’s nothing I can explain.” Skybright touched her knee. “Please.”
Zhen Ni rose, her shoulders slumped, a shadow of the vibrant young woman she had been only a few weeks back. “Nanny Bai said she would come soon. She’s making a tonic and salve for you.”
Skybright exhaled, trying to release the tension she’d held in for so long.
“You know you can tell me anything, Sky, and I would still love you.”
Skybright nodded, head bent, staring at Zhen Ni’s beautiful slippers embroidered with dragonflies until the shining thread and bead work began to blur. After a long silence, Zhen Ni’s feet finally shifted, and she left the room.
Skybright’s growling stomach woke her. She stepped gingerly out of bed and opened the lattice window. It was already a few hours past dawn. She had slept the previous day away. Skybright dressed slowly, brushing her hair then winding it into braids close to her head. The scabs on her back had healed almost completely, revealing pale new skin, striping her flesh like she was some exotic animal.
She rubbed coarse salt against her teeth and carefully swiped a damp cloth over her face, avoiding her stitches. The wound didn’t throb as much as it had the previous day, but her skin still felt stretched too tight.
Skybright was headed for the kitchen to find some food when Rose ran up to her. She gasped and covered her mouth when she saw Skybright’s face. “Lady Yuan is asking for you.”
It was rare that Lady Yuan called for her, and they hadn’t spoken much since … that morning.
“She’s in her bedchamber.”
And she’d never called Skybright to her private quarters before. Alarmed, she caught Rose’s sleeve. “What is it?”
“It’s the mistress. She’s disappeared—”
Skybright ran toward Lady Yuan’s quarters before Rose finished her sentence, leaving the handmaid alone in the corridor, gaping after her.
She forced herself to pause in front of Lady Yuan’s reception hall. The door panels, carved with peonies, were closed. She tried to catch her breath, wiping the sweat from her forehead and upper lip with a handkerchief. Her cheek was throbbing again. She finally knocked on the door panel, and Lady Yuan’s head handmaid, Nightingale, slid the door open.
Skybright had always admired Nightingale. She was four years older than Skybright, always calm and capable, performing her tasks with a dignified elegance. But the fresh powder on the handmaid’s face didn’t disguise the redness around her eyes. “Skybright. We’ve been expecting you.”
Nightingale’s obvious distress increased Skybright’s own anxiety. Zhen Ni had never left the manor on her own, and certainly not without Skybright accompanying her. Now her mistress was wandering on the roads alone, an easy target for bandits a
nd demons alike. If only she had warned Zhen Ni more of the monsters and bloodshed she had seen in these past weeks, perhaps she would have listened, and stayed. Perhaps if she had been more truthful to Zhen Ni, and a better friend …
Skybright swiped her damp palms against her trousers and stepped inside. The subtle perfume of roses filled the air. Ceramic bowls full of the flowers, in pinks and yellows, adorned the tables around the reception hall. Lady Yuan’s quarters were papered in the lightest blush of pink, and two huge landscape paintings hung on the far wall. Four deep curved back chairs faced each other across a dark walnut table inlaid with pearl. Brocaded cushions in each chair added to the plush feel of the space. It was more intimate than the main hall but every bit as opulent.
“Lady Yuan is waiting for you in her bedchamber.”
Skybright entered the bedchamber alone. Lady Yuan’s platform bed was even grander than Zhen Ni’s, with silk drapes in a light sage tied back at the sides. The bedchamber was large enough to include another seating area, and Skybright found her there, alone on a cushioned chair.
Lady Yuan nodded to the seat across from her. She dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. Fighting the sick feeling in her stomach, Skybright sat and Lady Yuan recoiled when she saw her face. “Zhen Ni had told me you hurt yourself yesterday. But I had not realized to what extent. Is Nanny Bai taking care of you?”
“She is. Thank you, Lady Yuan.”
The older woman slanted her head, a gesture that reminded her of Zhen Ni. They had the same eyes, beautiful and expressive. Why had she never seen the similarity before?
