He finally could admit he had faith enough to trust her and knew she would never do anything to hurt him intentionally. Syd had admitted as much that night when she’d told him she was falling in love with him and he wanted to admit the same but he couldn’t. He damned his father for making him emotionally impotent and his mother for emotional arrested development.
Kaz had been to the best shrinks in the world and knew his problem was he had a hard time trusting people because he didn’t inherently trust himself. It was hard to trust anyone else when one constantly doubted their own abilities.
He and Syd talked about their dreams for the future and although he couldn’t promise marriage, he knew his life would be with her. She was the yin to his yang because she understood him and that was very rare. It was the precise reason he’d fallen for Damira and Keren. No matter how many knock-down, drag-out fights he and Syd endured, they understood one another and not many people could honestly say that about their relationship with their significant other.
Love was the last part and although it didn’t allude him, it was much more intense and crazy than it usually was for him. He was frightened of his own emotions because they were so strong for Sydney and he was scared of hers because he didn’t know if this was just an innocent first love for her or something deeper.
Though Syd was sexually inexperienced, she certainly wasn’t a novice so he didn’t really believe “first love” had anything to do with how she felt for him. She acted like her love for him was an addiction yet it was very much a controlled addiction.
Once the bell hop delivered their luggage, she walked around before she approached him again. “Something tells me the rest of the band isn’t staying here.”
Kaz smiled at her. “They could have but they would have to pay for it out of their own pocket and why would they do that when Introspect provides perfectly decent suites at the Trump Soho? Jaden is notoriously cheap because he’s hoping to gather enough money to buy his way out of participating in MC activities.”
“And what are the chances he’s going to pull that off by his thirtieth birthday?”
“Unfortunately, Lucifer’s Saints are doing well with their deals between the Russians and the Northern Irish. Desmond Cox isn’t the Club President because he’s a nice addition. His brother, Padraig, runs the Northern Irish chapter of LS and he has told Jaden needs ten mil to relieve his MC duties for life. That would be a little over a million he would have brought into the Club for every year he’s been gone.
“The problem is Jaden does pay his dues for every year he’s been gone so the old man is just being greedy. He gives his father at least a million dollars a year—tax free since Jaden has a charity to keep homeless teens off the streets; he writes the check to his dad from that account—out of his own pocket. To be honest, Desmond is an ornery, angry fucking bastard who doesn’t want his son to be a rock star. He wants him to be the club Prez when he gets too old but that isn’t going to happen…ever. Not while Jaden is upright and breathing.
“Personally, I can wipe the debt out by myself but I want to see how much money he can come up with first. I’m not into charity, even if it is for my best friend. What ever I put into the pot, I expect to be paid back because there is no way I am losing my lead guitarist in three years.”
Syd pulled her tank top off to expose perfect breasts with rose-peaked nipples hard as pebbles. “This has all been very stimulating. By the time he has to go back, I’ll have full control of my trust fund and it is…a lot. Ten million is the interest I make off my trust fund each year. It wouldn’t even put a dent in my net worth and I would pay it if it means that much to you.”
Kaz’s aquamarine eyes glared at her suspiciously. “Why would you do that?”
She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “Because it’s important to the band and to you. Who the hell do you think is paying Misty’s medical bills? She doesn’t have any health insurance. Obamacare doesn’t go into effect until next year. The girl came here broke as a joke…and with more bills than she could handle. I paid those off too. You are paying me to be a photographer and I could afford it. I have wasted so much money over the years on frivolous and stupid shit—at least I felt good spending the money this time because it wasn’t about me—it just felt good to do something for someone and not expect anything in return. I told her not to worry about paying me back.”
Kaz approached her with the stealth of a panther. “Baby, you are absolutely amazing but you didn’t have to do that. Jaden would have taken care of Misty. She is his baby sister and he loves her more than anyone in the world…except Faith.”
“It wasn’t a problem and I told her to tell him she was broke and save any money he gave her. She’s going to need it when the baby comes.”
I knew he no longer wanted to talk about Misty’s money problems when he grabbed me by the neck and kissed me with such a deep and overwhelming passion, our tongues seemed fused together. His other hand alternated between pinching my nipples to the point of pain but it was such a delicious ache, I moaned into his mouth.
“I want you now. I have to have that sweet pussy of yours,” he murmured in my ear as I smiled to myself.
“Then take it,” I whispered into his ear.
Kaz shed my jeans without unbuttoning them and slipped my La Perla thong to the side before he undid his own pants. We managed to move to the arm rest of the sitting room sofa where he sat me down and spread my legs. Before I knew it, I was filled with the thick, overwhelming hotness that was his cock.
I gasped out loud as he thrust inside me before he began to pound me into submission and I screamed my orgasm without thinking about any of the other guests, who might have existed on either side of our suite.
He hadn’t come yet but he still withdrew his swollen dick from inside me and knelt between my open legs. Another expensive thong was destroyed as he ripped it and his tongue swirled around my clit in slow, aching circles. I held his head in place and gasped at the various sensations he was making me feel.
Kaz stared at me as I looked down at him and said, “Who’s a naughty boy tonight? Lick my juices from inside of me, baby.”
He obliged as his tongue entered me and fucked me as deeply as he could while my legs shook with pleasure. I had never met a man who could eat me the way he did and he wasn’t afraid to explore all of me including my perineum. His fingers got involved and he gently circled the rim of my asshole as he continued to suck my swollen clit and I knew it was only a matter of time before I saw God and spoke in tongues again because the sex between us was that good.
Kaz paused only long enough to remove his clothes, grab me and then he sat us on the luxurious sofa. “I want you to be in control. You can do anything you want to me.”
I raised one of my expertly shaped eyebrows. “Anything I want? Oh, I’m in for some fun then.”
I climbed out of his lap and knelt on the floor. His cock was hard and I slid my hands around it in a possessive manner. “This belongs to me and I swear to fucking Christ if I find out it’s been in another woman’s mouth or pussy, even with a condom, I will end you myself.”
“Such sweet words you speak,” he murmured but the look in his eyes told me he hadn’t cheated on me and never would.
Not without my permission of course and it would have to be a threesome I was involved in, preferably with another man because women didn’t do much for me, sexually speaking. I liked my dicks hard and thick and I could handle more than one but would he ever let me do such a thing?
I didn’t care at that point as I licked the underside of his cock with a wet tongue and met the mushroom head of his dick with my mouth. I sucked on it with hard precision and he gritted his teeth as I slipped more and more of his length in my mouth. I concentrated on my breathing as I slid his length past my tonsils and deep-throated him. He grabbed a fist full of my hair and moaned out loud.
“Fuck me with a corkscrew and shit twice—fuck, where did you learn to do that?” Kaz questioned ou
t loud.
“I’ve been doing it all this time. So why is it such a big deal?”
“No, you haven’t. Your throat muscles locked around my cock and I thought I would come just being inside your mouth. I don’t want to do that. I want to be inside you when I blow my load.”
Funny how my vocabulary had expanded. Since we’d been together, words that used to bother me were common place between us. He liked it when I talked dirty to him while we had sex and at first it had been a chore, now it was quite fun.
“You wanna be inside my hot, tight cunt? Show me.”
He pulled me off my knees and slid me into his lap before he guided his cock inside me again and I sighed with such a feeling of completeness. The sex between us could get downright painful but the pleasure always outweighed the pain until the following day when I tried my best to walk normal and not show how much I’d been affected by our passionate and sometimes angry show of sexual aggression.
I rode him like I was a natural-born cowgirl at a rodeo and kept the pace deliberately slow because I didn’t want him to come yet. The feeling between us was so intense and we were so completely in sync, tears leaked from my closed eyes. He pulled me closer to him until my breasts were pressed against his hard chest and he began to control our sex. His thrusts became deeper and more frequent and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
Our faces were so close to one another, he kissed my swollen mouth and our tongues played with one another in a sensual dance. He explored my mouth the way his cock explored my clenching and unclenching kegels that held on to him for dear life. I didn’t want him to leave my body, not at that moment, not when our sex had approached a new level of intimacy.
We were fucking one another but we were also making love to one another and I’d broken through to him. He might not admit how he felt about me yet but it mattered very little. His body language spoke volumes and that was enough for me.
His fingers played with my clit and before I could stop myself, one hundred percent of pleasure flowed through my body and soaked his cock with my juices while my kegels gripped him for dear life. That was all it took for him to come and he moaned out loud yet again.
“Fuck, baby, I’m coming and I can’t help it.”
My juices and his liquid pleasure mixed together and I continued to ride him until he began to go soft. He slipped out of my body and his manhood rested against my firm stomach as I sat on his strong thighs.
I stuck two fingers from my left hand into my sore sex and pulled them out covered in our fluids. I licked my fingers before I sucked them. “Yummy. I can’t say that I am not a well and truly satisfied woman at this time.”
“You dirty little bitch.” Kaz grabbed my jaw and kissed me hungrily. “We both have to go to bed and I mean to sleep. You have worn me out completely. Not that it wasn’t hot…I will be thinking about tonight for a long time to come. This was by far the hottest sex we have had…ever.”
“I don’t believe you. We always have exciting sex so when have I ever bored you to death? Please illuminate me because every time we fuck, you come.”
“That’s the point, Syd. We didn’t just fuck tonight…there was more involved and I felt like we were truly loving one another even if we did have dirty, filthy sex with lots of curse words involved. You are so special to me and I don’t ever want to lose you. Do you understand that? You’re not just some fuck doll for me. I love being with you and inside you. I’ll take you any way you want me to,” he explained in a quiet voice.
My eyes looked away as he stood and carried me to bed wrapped his arms. We would unpack the following day because we were both too exhausted to look for clothes that night. When he laid me down on the bed, it was with such care.
My heart still thundered in my chest as I lay my head on his chest after he climbed in next to me. “You won’t ever have to worry about being without me because I’m not going anywhere. This, I can promise you.”
“You say that now but we have only gone through half the tour and look how much drama there has been. I feel like I have let you down because I wanted this to be fun and an adventure for you.”
I kissed his chest before I replied, “You’re working, Kaz, this is your job and I have mine. Every day isn’t going to be awesome and fun. Some days are just going to suck ass whether we want them to or not. I knew what I was signing up for when I said yes so stop apologizing for this being what it is: hard fucking work but it’s worth it because I am with you.”
“Well, that and I have given you a potty mouth.”
“A potty mouth you love to kiss and have wrapped around your cock,” I whispered into his ear.
“That, I cannot argue with at all. Such a beautiful, luscious, warm, and wet potty mouth you have.”
I laughed out loud before we stared at one another and time stopped for both of us. The earth stopped spinning and all the sudden, I felt like I was standing on solid ground. There was an understanding between the two of us and I couldn’t have asked for much more than that.
In some unspoken way, Kaz told me everything I needed to know: he loved me deeply and was falling in love with me too but it wasn’t something he was comfortable talking about verbally.
It was good enough and I would leave the situation where it was…for the moment.
Chapter Sixteen
Madison Square Garden
Kaz knew he was ready to face the crowd that awaited Scarlet Fever. He paced back and forth backstage and flinched every time Seth messed up lyrics or asked the crowd to help him sing a song.
A migraine was starting to form and he quickly popped an Imitrex and swallowed it with a bottle of Evian.
Talia stormed back stage and looked beyond frustrated as she sat down and grabbed a bottle of water provided. “He’s getting worse. We aren’t even done with the North American leg and he’s so fucking high, he can’t see straight. We are seriously going to get ripped a new one for his performance. Why did he have to fuck up here when we have another concert to perform tomorrow? Does he not think this isn’t going to spread like wildfire? Half the people might not even show up until our set is almost over because they know they are going to get a rockin’ good concert from Scarlet Fever.”
“If he wants to commit career suicide then it isn’t something you can really prevent. I will give him a good talking to because he isn’t going to pull shit like this in Europe and Asia. I’ll remove Winter’s Regret and bring in Trilogy.”
Trilogy was and always had been their second choice though the lead singer was a sexy platinum blonde, Juli Andrews, who preferred slutty clothing to cover as little of her creamy alabaster skin as possible and lots of makeup to emphasize the most mesmerizing ice-blue eyes. She had the face of an angel and a voice reminiscent of the late Amy Winehouse fused with a young Tina Turner. Although she was only nineteen, she remained incredibly driven. She played bass while the other members were her boyfriend, Trey Whitman, who played lead guitar and Craig Bowers, the drummer.
Juli was known as a hard-core partier but she also admired for her professional work ethic. She played hard but worked even harder. She never drank or used before shows and the only drugs she used were alcohol, nicotine and first-class Ganja her boyfriend brought back for her in plant form when he visited his Jamaican great-grandparents on his mother’s side of the family.
“You’re going to have to really lean on him, Kaz.” Talia drained her water and wiped the sweat from her neck, upper body and collarbone with a clean, white hand towel. “Seriously or we’ll be dealing with this same shit when we leave the country. The problem is we’ll be in hot water if we get in trouble outside of the country if that fucking idiot gets busted for drugs.”
“I’ll call Trilogy’s management team and see what they are doing…just in case, okay?”
“They aren’t going to be able to help you. They are touring with Ten Speeds of Pain at the moment. Unless they want to be sued for breach of contract, I don’t see them ending their current commitment.”
“Fuck. I can always call up Nikki Slade’s management—”
“She’s almost fifty years old, Kaz. Most of our fans don’t know who the fuck she is.”
“Well, what is your suggestion?”
“I’ll let you know when you tell me what your little talk with Seth produces. If he is receptive then all of this speculation is a moot point.”
He shook his head as he dragged on an electronic cigarette before he glared in Jaden’s direction. He looked relatively sober that night and was too busy resting his head on his sister’s pregnant belly. Misty stroked his hair before she kissed the top of his head.
“She’s going to kick you if you keep doing that!” she exclaimed.
“Yeah, just in case you thought Jaden was the issue, he isn’t. I haven’t seen him around since Misty and Keren arrived. What ever reason why he was usin’ in the first place has taken a back seat to seeing his sister again,” Talia explained. “Maybe he knew Misty was preggers and he was worried about her but he seems a lot calmer now. He even apologized for his behavior towards me that time at the L.A. meeting.”
Falling Into Us Page 14
